Big Idea Wiki

This is the episode transcript for Wiki Tiki.


(The episode opens at Grandmum's cottage.)

Michelle: Jason, we still have to get our sheets from downstairs, hurry!

Jason: I'll get them, Michelle! I'm taking out the trash now!

Michelle: Okay, I got the breakfast dishes soaking in the sink.

(Jason and Michelle are shown doing their chores at a rather fast pace. They're working so fast, Michelle forgets to turn off the sink and Jason drops the sheets after bumping into Michelle.)

Grandmum: Oh, just a minute, you two. Come now, pumpkins. Michelle, is this the way I've taught you to rinse the dishes?

(She sees the sink overflowing.)

Michelle: Oh no!

(She turns it off and places a towel on the wet floor.)

Grandmum: And, Jason, you didn't replace the plastic liner in this trash can.

Jason: Sorry, Grandmum, I'll go get it right now.

Michelle: I guess I was in too big a hurry. I'm sorry.

Grandmum: Remember what the Good Book says, "Enthusiasm without knowledge is no good. Haste makes mistakes."

Jason: Is that a real proverb?

Grandmum: It jolly well is. Take the time to listen and do it right the first time.

Jason: Like the trash liner. I'm on it.

Grandmum: You'll just make a mess if you rush.

Michelle: All mopped up, Grandmum!

Jason: And I just put the liner in the trash.

Grandmum: That's more like it.

Michelle: Okay, thanks, Grandmum!

Grandmum: Hold on. Aren't you two forgetting something. (She hands them clean sheets.) Make your beds, please.

Jason: Uh, will do, Grandmum.

(Michelle places her sheet on the bed the right way. But Jason keeps his sheet folded and puts it on the bed before looking for the spaceship.)

Jason: Now where's that spaceship? It was right here!

Michelle: Jason, you heard Grandmum. We got to put the clean sheets on our beds.

Jason: I did.

(As they talk, the ship comes to life offscreen.)

Michelle: Jason.

Jason: It's fine. I'll make the bed later.

(Both kids are galeezeled into the ship.)

Jason: Woah, definitely later.

(Midgel is shown using the galeezel.)

Michelle: Hey, thanks, Midgel. Where is everybody?

Midgel: Sorry, Michelle, no time for chit chat, we got to get going.

(They get in their inflatable seats.)

Midgel: The others are at the Comet Lounge making sure Sol doesn't run out of the afternoon special.

Jason and Michelle: Sol's Aurora Borealis fruit punch!

Jason: What are we waiting for?!

Jason, Michelle, and Midgel: Bonsai!

(The ship leaves the cottage. After the opening theme, fade to the Comet Lounge as the ship approaches. Midgel, Michelle and Jason enter the lounge and see the rest of their friends at the counter.)

Midgel: Where's the aurora borealis punch?

Fidgel: Sol hasn't lit the sign, yet.

Midgel: Whew. I'd hate to miss the aurora borealis. Best fruit punch in the galaxy.

Fidgel: Hey, I was in line first.

Zidgel: Captains first, then everyone else.

Midgel and Fidgel: (argue)

Sol: Actually, whoever says Sol's silly syllables goes first.

Zidgel: Sol's silly solubles?

Sol: Syllables. Tongue twisters, whoever can say a tongue twister is first in line.

Zidgel: Sorry, men, you don't stand a chance against my silver tongue. Glib is my niddle mane, uh, middle bane, I mean, middle name.

Sol: Alright, Captain. Now my advice is, take your time to get it right.

Zidgel: Sure, sure, Sol, just give me the tongue twister.

Sol: Lydia Lightyear lit loudly along luminous lunar loops.

Zidgel: Lydia Lightbulb lot lightly along luminous lumar lubes. That was close, right?

Sol: Fidgel, your turn! Now remember, take your time to say it right. Stella's startled starling started staring sternly in stereo.

Zidgel: Oh, sure, he gets an easy one.

Fidgel: (clears throat) Stella's startled staring starling sternly in know.

Zidgel: Welcome to the gulag. We'll never get one of Sol's super sippers. Hey, I said a tongue twister! Does that count?

(Sol shakes his head. Then Kevin gets his chance.)

Sol: Kevin, you're next. Sally sallied saliently sailing silently.

Zidgel: Oh, right, sure. Kevin's gonna get this.

Kevin: (slowly) Sally...sallied...saliently...sailing...silently.

Sol: Congratulations, Kevin! You get punch first.

(Zidgel grunts in frustration. A loudspeaker appears.)

Admiral Strap: Attention, penguins. Attention, penguins! No more time for word games. Although if you've taken your time to say it right, you'd be first in line, Captain. Anyway, I've got a job for you. I'll trust you'll take your time and do that right.

Zidgel: Doesn't he know the aurora borealis punch is going to be served soon?

(A huge tv screen drops from the ceiling.)

Midgel: When did the admiral have that put in?

(The screen shows what looks like a Hawaiian island as lava pours from a volcano.)

Admiral Strap: Penguins, listen up. Planet Wiki Tiki is basically one big volcano, okay? And it's gonna blow, you know, lava, everywhere. It's your mission to save the tiny village on the edge of the island. Well, go, people! Go, go, go!

(As the tv pulls back up, the fruit punch sign lights up.)

Rockhopper crew: (gasps)

Zidgel: Can you save a little for us, purty please?

Sol: I'm sorry, Captain. You know how popular this stuff is. I can only make it when the sunspots are just right.

Midgel: But it might be all gone by the time we get back.

Zidgel: Then we'd better hurry and get this mission done pronto.

Sol: Make sure you do the job right, Captain.

Michelle: Haste makes mistakes, right?

Sol: Very good, Michelle. Exactly right.

Zidgel: I might need some help. Cadet Jason, you've been promoted to my co-captain today.

Jason: Really?! Cool!

Zidgel: It's up to you to see we make no mistakes, but we have to get done really fast.

(Zidgel and the rest of the crew head for the door.)

Zidgel: Hold those drinks, Sol. We'll be back faster than you can shake a hula skirt.

Midgel: Captain, your hula skirt's ready!

Zidgel: Ooh, I gotta go.

(The ship heads for Wiki Tiki.)

Jason: Am I really co-captain?

Zidgel: You are indeed, young man. I mean, I'm still the boss. All you have to do is make sure we get through this mission fast.

Michelle: And that you take time to do it right.

Zidgel: Yeah, that, too.

(Segue to the ship arriving at Wiki Tiki)

Midgel: Captain, we're being hailed by the head Tiki.

Zidgel: What? They're hailing us? Why? We've never done anything to them. Midgel, prepare to throw hail back at them, the big icy chunks if you've got them.

Midgel: Uh, no, Captain, not hail as in...uh--

Fidgel: A precipitation of ice pellets.

Midgel: Right, what he said. I mean hail as in, uh, "Hail-lo, we would like to talk with you."

Zidgel: Oh, well then. Put the ice away and the head tiki guy on the screen.

(The Head Tiki, who is a wooden statue, is shown onscreen.)

Head Tiki: Aloha!

Rockhopper crew: Ahhh!

Zidgel: Uh, aloe vera to you too, sir.

Tiki King: Oh, for goodness sakes, don't frighten the poor chaps. Let me speak to them. Raise the camera. Higher. (The camera shows the Tiki King, who resembles an Easter Island statue.) There, ha, ha. Um, aloha and welcome to the tropical paradise of Wiki Tiki.

Fidgel: Uh, we're in a bit of a rush, heh, heh. Saving your planet was a last minute addition to the schedule, so, uh, what can we do?

Tiki King: Well, actually, we're rather hoping that you could rescue us from, uh, oh, this.

[The camera shifts to a female Wiki Tiki citizen dancing. Zidgel looks confused]

Tiki King: Uh, no. uh, not that.

[The camera cuts to what the real problem is. The island's volcano erupts, shocking Jason, Michelle, and the penguins.]

Tiki King: So, there we are, Captain. Not such a chore for the likes of you, I'm sure, eh. (chuckles) Captain? Captain? Hello?

(Everyone watches as the lava flows from the volcano. Later, Zidgel tries to get all the planet's inhabitants onto the ship.)

Zidgel: (into a loudspeaker) Come on, people. No pushing or shoving. Please, remain calm. Let's keep this evacuation as orderly as possible. Come on, let's keep this line moving. Giddy up. Come on! Let's go! (Everyone gets onto the ship rather slowly.) Oh, come on. I can dry my hair faster than this.

Tiki King: Uh, Captain, this is all nicely organized, but the lava is still going to destroy the island.

Zidgel: Can't have everything, king guy. Keep moving, people.

Fidgel: Oh, at this rate, we'll never get everyone evacuated before the lava flow devastates the entire village.

Zidgel: Oh yeah, that. Plus, we'll miss Sol's aurora borealis punch. Midgel, Plan B, now!

(Midgel activates a huge claw from the front of the ship. The claw is then used to pick up the inhabitants and quickly put them in the ship.)

Female Tiki: Ahhh!

Male Tiki #1: Let go of me! Let go of me!

Male Tiki #2: Ah, ah, what's happening? What's happening?

Male Tiki #3: No, stop it!

Male Tiki #4: (screams)

(Soon, the ship starts to run out of room.)

Michelle: Captain!

(The claw keeps bringing the inhabitants into the ship.)

Kevin: Captain!

Michelle: We're running out of space!

Kevin: Space!

Jason: The hold is almost full!

(Eventually, there's no more room.)

Kevin: Full!

(The ship starts sinking due to the weight, despite there being no gravity in space.)

Midgel: Captain, we're falling. We can't hold them all, they're too heavy.

Zidgel: Alright, Midgel, just drop them back on the island. We'll have to come up with something else.

(Midgel gets the ship over the island and dumps the inhabitants out. Jason and Michelle fall out too.)

Michelle: Ow.

Jason: Oh.

Kevin: Hello.

(One more inhabitant falls from the ship.)

Male Tiki: Aloha, broda. How's it?

Tiki King: Actually, Captain, if I might say, what we really need from you is--

Zidgel: For us to plug up the volcano! I'm way ahead of you.

(The inhabitants panic as the lava flows.)

Tiki King: No, uh, not that. Uh, you, you see, uh--

Zidgel: Stand aside, king guy, professionals at work. Watch and learn. Are you folks using that moon for anything?

Tiki King: Uh, no, however, plugging the volcano won't work, you see--

Zidgel: Perfect!

Michelle: Jason, he's in too big a hurry here. The captain's not listening to the king. He seems to know something.

Jason: He's the captain, I'm the co-captain, you're just a swabby.

(Michelle gives an unamused look.)

Zidgel: Listen up, penguins. It's time for Operation Stick-A-Cork-In-It. To the ship!

(Segue to the ship flying to the moon before pushing it above the volcano.)

Michelle: It's moving!

Jason: Keep going, Midgel!

(The ship puts the moon over the volcano. Then, Kevin is brought out by the claw to put the moon into the volcano.)

Tikis: (cheer)

Fidgel: That did it! The volcano has been stopped.

Zidgel: Well done. The planet is saved! This calls for an aurora borealis punch. Quick, to the Comet Lounge!

Rest of Rockhopper crew: (cheers)

Midgel: Uh-oh, not so fast, everyone, we've got blinkings and beepings.

Zidgel: No, blinkings and beepings?! Both?!

Fidgel: Oh my, our moon cork is heating up and becoming very unstable. We need to back away, now!

(It turns out the moon isn't a moon at all. It's a giant piece of popcorn. (The Gourds Must Be Crazy much, anyone?) Due to the heat from the volcano, it pops. Everyone looks at Fidgel.)

Zidgel: Doctor, I thought you said that this was a moon.

Fidgel: Ah, yes, well, uh, we were in such a hurry I didn't stop to think the moon might be made of popcorn.

Kevin: Mmmm! Yum!

Zidgel: Ugh, okay, let's hurry and do something else.

Michelle: Captain, wait. We seem to be just rushing from idea to idea.

Zidgel: Ugh!

Midgel: Wait, we're being hailed--I mean, contacted by the Tiki King now!

(The Head Tiki appears again.)

Head Tiki: Aloha!

Rockhopper crew: Ahhh!

Tiki King: Penguins, thank you for the popcorn. What a splendid surprise. I don't believe I've ever seen someone try and deal with an erupting volcano by providing snacks. Ho, ho! (eats popcorn) Fascinating!

Midgel: So, besides, uh, popcorn, we're wondering if you have any other ideas for dealing with the volcano.

Michelle: Yes, we're all ears, since the captain and his co-captain won't listen to anything you have to say.

Tiki King: Yes, yes, I've been trying to tell you, if a few stone slabs were retrieved from the dark side of the island, and--

Zidgel: They could used to build a wall to stop the lava! Brilliant!

Tiki King: Uh, actually, uh, no, that's not it at all. All we have to do is--

Zidgel: Good idea, king! We're on it.

Tiki King: But, wait!

(Screen shuts off.)

Michelle: But, Captain, I don't think the king was done explaining his plan.

Zidgel: What's there to explain? It's so obvious! What else could it be?

Jason: Michelle, as co-captain, I'm ordering you to put a cork in it.

Zidgel: Let's have a lot less thinking and a little more action around here, people! Got that!

Kevin: Aye-aye, Captain.

Fidgel: I believe I see the region he's referring to.

Midgel: I got the coordinates right here, Captain.

Zidgel: Then let's take a dive to the dark side.

(The ship flies around to the back of the island. Segue to the tikis panicking more. Pan over to the Tiki King playing a game with pebbles.)

Tiki King: It would appear to me that we are, for all intents and purposes, doomed. (sighs) No, look.

(The ship reappears holding stone slabs.)

Zidgel: Hey, king, we've got the stones, and we're ready to build.

Tiki King: No, Captain, you don't understand. You need to listen to me. That isn't going to work. Now, if you'll place the first one along the edge of the lava, we can--

Zidgel: Along the edge? Pff, we can do better than that! Watch this!

Tiki King: No, wait!

(Screen shuts off again. The ship then drops the slabs in the lava's path.)

Zidgel: There, fast and easy! Perfect! Now, Midgel, to the Comet Lounge! Top speed!

(The alarm goes off again.)

Fidgel: Captain! Oh, uh, blinkings and beepings!

Zidgel: Again?! What now?

Michelle: Look! The dam's gonna burst!

(The stone slabs are no good against the lava as it causes them to melt and tip over.)

Zidgel: (gasp) It's worse.

(Segue to the lava flowing closer to the village as the inhabitants continue panicking. Cut to Zidgel as he mopes about the problem.)

Jason: You were right, Michelle. We didn't take our time and we made mistakes.

Michelle: Captain Zidgel? Jason and I have realized something.

Zidgel: Can't stop it. Tried everything.

Jason: Captain, we have tried everything, except listening.

Zidgel: Listening? What do you mean?

Michelle: Grandmum told us enthusiasm without knowledge is no good.

Jason: And haste makes mistakes.

Zidgel: Translated, this a tongue twister?

Fidgel: Wait, I think I know. Rushing to do things in your own enthusiasm instead of taking time to understand and think causes problems.

Midgel: Cuz you'll just make a mess if you hurry.

Kevin: Yeah, big mess.

Jason: Right, we've been in such a hurry to get back to the Comet Lounge for Sol's aurora borealis fruit punch--

Michelle: That we've been running with the first ideas that popped into our heads. Nobody listened to the tiki king.

Zidgel: You're right! It's all been a big, fiery, lava spewing, popcorn popping mess! How about a little less action and a lot more listening around here, people?

(Tiki King gets back in contact.)

Tiki King: Captain! Please don't cut me off! We're running out of time! It's not necessary to divert the lava! We have a, plan, that--You're listening to me.

Zidgel: Yes, your majesty, we are. I should have done that in the first place and now I've made things worse. I apologize, sir.

Tiki King: Oh, well, uh, apology accepted, my good man, uh, mm, penguin, sorry.

Zidgel: I thank you, sir.

Michelle: Is there anything we can still do?

Tiki King: Actually, yes!

Fidgel: Do tell, your majesty!

Tiki: Well, we'll need several new slabs of stone...

(After listening to his plan properly, the crew gets to work fixing the problem. After picking up more stone slabs, the ship takes them to a small trench dug for them. Meanwhile, the tiki people pour water on the slabs. Meanwhile, the Tiki King and another inhabitant look over a map of the island. As they high five (or four), the Tiki King falls off the Head Tiki's head.)

Male Tiki #5: Sorry.

(He puts the King back on his head. Meanwhile, the ship drops the slabs in the trenches. As the ship moves another slab, the tiki people help too by acting as wheels to move the heavy slab. With the push of another button, the slab is put in place. The Tiki people cheer as the job is done.)

Zidgel: Well, I must say, your majesty, that it never would have occurred to me that you wouldn't want the lava flow stopped at all!

Tiki King: Ha! Are you kidding? Just look at all the new beach front it's making!

(The lava has eventually stopped flowing.)

Zidgel: I hear you, sir! Because I'm taking time to listen.

Tiki King: Mahalo, Captain. Mahalo nui.

Zidgel: Say, does that happy look on your face mean we're done here?

Tiki King: Yes, we are. Unless you want to hang out and enjoy the beach.

Zidgel: Love to, your majesty! Kevin!

(Kevin and Zidgel bring out their surfboards.)

Zidgel: It's time to ride Luna Kahuna!

Kevin: Cowabunga!

Tikis: Cowabunga!

(As an instrumental version of Space Surfin' Superstar plays, everyone celebrates another job well done. Kevin and Zidgel lava surf, the inhabitants do hula dances, Jason and Michelle have coconut milk and Fidgel walks under a limbo stick. They're all having such a great time. Eventually, it's time for the crew to leave as Zidgel and Kevin get back on the ship.)

Zidgel: There's an aurora borealis punch with our names on it.

(The ship heads back to the Comet Lounge, where everyone gets their Aurora Borealis punch. Segue back to Grandmum's house as Jason and Michelle pray before bed.)

Jason and Michelle: And bless Grandmum and Mommy and Daddy. Amen.

Jason: (yawns) I'm so tired. What a long day. Volcanoes, being co-captain, and all my chores when we got home.

Grandmum: Sweet dreams, my sweets.

Jason and Michelle: You too, Grandmum.

Grandmum: Oh, and thank you for the spit spot job you did with all your chores this evening, you two!

Jason and Michelle: You're welcome, Grandmum. Goodnight.

(They both get into their beds.)

Michelle: Hold on, Jason. Are you sure you did all of your chores?

Jason: Yeah, why?

(Michelle points to his still unmade bed.)

Jason: Arrgghhh!

(Jason gets out and puts his sheet on the bed the right way.)

Jason: Next time, I'll slow down and do it right the first time, I promise.

(Jason gets in his bed and falls fast asleep.)

Jason: Thanks, sis. You're the pest slister...a...guy....

Michelle: Jason? Jason?

Jason: (snores)

Michelle: (giggles) Sweet dreams, Jason.

(The episode ends with the ship flying past the moon.)

Kevin: Aloha!

(End of transcript.)