This is the transcript for Two Birthdays.
Transcript[]
(Scene opens to Bob and Larry helping Pa carry a large aquarium with lobsters in it into the store.)
Bob: I'm going backwards! Slow up!
Larry: Wait! You said I should slow down! Which direction should I slow?
Bob: Just do it like we planned! Hurry up and slow down before I-
Larry: Hurrying!
(Bob and Larry both fall down as a splash is heard off-screen.)
Pa Grape: (sighs) Why do I keep hiring these guys?
(Scene switches to show Bob and Larry inside the aquarium, while the lobsters have escaped, one them flying away by flapping its pincers like wings.)
Bob: (bubbling) We could have planned that better.
Larry: (bubbling) Proverbs says, "Good planning and hard work lead to good things, but rushing and taking shortcuts lead to ruin."
(Tina enters the store.)
Tina: Fellas! I'm planning two big parties for Junior and Mayor Archie!
Larry: I love parties!
Tina: Good! Because you and Bob are invited to Junior's birthday party! (to Pa) And you're invited to Archibald's fancy-pantsy dinner party!
Pa: Aw, nuts! I'd rather go to Junior's!
Bob: (bubbling) How do you plan two parties at once? That sounds complicated.
Tina: My main plan is not to plan anything! I just go for it!
Bob: (bubbling) Does that work?
Tina: Well, we're gonna find out!
(Tina leaves, just as a lobster comes up to Larry. Larry picks up the lobster and throws it into the aquarium with Bob, who is still inside the aquarium, as the lobster lands on his head. Bob gives a disapproving look after that. Scene switches to Petunia's house, where Petunia is about to feed a sandwich to her flytrap.)
Petunia: Open up for the choo-choo! Toot-toot!
(Petunia tosses the sandwich to the flytrap, who eats it in one bite. Tina enters the room after that.)
Tina: Hey, boss!
Petunia: Mayor Archibald called.
Tina: Probably to tell me how happy he is that I'm hosting his fancy dinner. (giggling) High-five, self! (high-fives herself)
Petunia: No, he was yelling and crying.
Tina: With happiness?
Petunia: With terror! You were supposed to make his fancy dinner party today!
Tina: Today? Today? As, as in right now? Oh-ho-ho! There must be a misunderstanding.
Petunia: Captain Mike Asparagus called too.
Tina: I know! He wants me to put on Junior's birthday party tomorrow!
Petunia: It's today!
Tina: (surprised) Today?! What time?
Petunia: Now!
(Tina stands in surprise while her eye twitches, before quickly rushing to get everything ready.)
Tina: (grunting) If I was a kid, I would want some party hats, a cake, and a, uh... uh...
Petunia: Pin the Tail on the Donkey!
Tina: (rushing up to Petunia) There's no time to play that right now, Petunia! I've got a- (realizes) Oh. (chuckling) You mean for the party! And Mayor Archibald will want some fancy decorations, tea cups, plates, flowers...
Petunia: A game of Go Fish!
Tina: Petunia! I can't play Go Fish! I gotta plan for the- (realizes, laughing) Again, you mean Go Fish for the party!
Petunia: You're quick like that.
Tina: (carrying two boxes) Calm down, Tina. You can't have a heart attack today! Gotta run!
(Tina leaves while carrying the two boxes with the party supplies in them. Petunia faces the flytrap again while holding an ice cream cone.)
Petunia: The airplane needs to land in the hangar! Where's the hangar?
(The flytrap abruptly snatches the ice cream cone out of Petunia's invisible grasp, much to her surprise, before she smiles at the flytrap. Scene switches to Junior's house, where, Junior, Bacon Bill, and a broccoli boy are waiting, while Captain Mike is pacing around impatiently.)
Captain Mike: Where's that Tina Celerina?
Junior: Happy birthday to nobody! (falls face down)
Bacon Bill: Don't be sad, Junior. We can make up our own party games!
Junior: Oh! I have a game! Let's play, "Wait For The Birthday Party"!
Bacon Bill: Why, that's my favorite game! Other than, "I Don't Know What You Talking About"!
(Captain Mike still continues pacing.)
Captain Mike: (sighs) Where are you, Tina?
Tina: (arriving) I'm on my way! (panting)
Captain Mike: Oh, Tina! (laughing) Uh, where's the clown?
Tina: Clown? Yes! I'll get a clown! Soon!
All: (groaning)
Captain Mike: No clown?! I ordered a clown!
Tina: What's your favorite game, kids?
Junior and Broccoli Boy: Pin the Tail on the Donkey!
Captain Mike: That's why I asked you to bring Pin the Tail on the Donkey!
(Tina pauses, then smiles, before looking in the boxes she brought.)
Tina: I, I can't seem to, uh, uh... Oh! I have something even better! Pin the Tail on the, uh, (pulls out a French Fry) old French Fry!
Junior: Dad, is this really happening?
Captain Mike: Tina...
Tina: (shoving the box into Captain Mike's 'arms') Play amongst yourselves! Have fun! (runs off)
Captain Mike: Where are you going?
Tina: I'll be right back!
Captain Mike: Are you sure this is for us?
(Bacon Bill looks in the box, gasps in surprise, then whistles after that. Scene switches to Tina frantically rushing past the couch. Ichabeezer is seen taking Rooney for a walk, but Rooney is pulling on his leash.)
Ichabeezer: Rooney! (grunting) Stop pulling!
(Tina runs up to Ichabeezer and Rooney and starts using the leash as a jump rope.)
Tina: Five little monkeys jumping on the ceiling!
Ichabeezer: One fell off and hurt his feelings!
(Tina jumps off then runs off again, before Rooney resumes pulling on the leash. Scene switches to Jimmy and Jerry with a huge pile of marshmallows.)
Jimmy: Let's count 'em again, Jerry!
Tina: Look out!
(Tina runs right into Jimmy, Jerry, and the marshmallows, which sends them flying, until they fall back down again. Jimmy lands on the ground, as the marshmallows land on top of his head in an upside-down pyramid shape, while Jerry is balanced on top.)
Jerry: Improbable.
(Tina arrives at Mayor Archibald's house, where a Cherry Cat sits on the edge of the railing.)
Cherry Cat: (meows)
(Tina snuggles with the Cherry Cat for a few seconds, then runs off. Inside, Mayor Archibald is pacing around impatiently while his dinner guests are sitting at the table, just as Tina enters.)
Archibald: Miss Tina Celerina, where have you been?! My fancy dinner guests are hungry!
Corn Gentleman: I'm starving!
Broccoli Gentleman: I'm famished!
Carrot Gentleman: I'm peaked!
Tina: (opening the box) It's a good thing you're ready for dinner, because I brought lo- (brings out two hot dogs) Hot dogs!
Archibald: Hot dogs?!
Corn Gentleman: Weiners?
Carrot Gentleman: Frankfurters?
Broccoli Gentleman: Wait, are we allowed to say 'frankfurters'?
Tina: I gotta go, Mayor Archibald! Gotta get back to Junior's birthday!
Archibald: Why? Did you even bother to plan this day at all? My special day?!
Tina: Remember, everyone, hot dogs are the new lobster!
Captain Mike: (O.S.) Tina!
Tina: Be right back!
(Tina leaves, while Mayor Archibald can only grimace. Tina hops down the stairs again then snuggles with the Cherry Cat again.)
Tina: Cherry Cat!
(Tina runs off once again, running back towards Jimmy and Jerry, who are still in the position they were in.)
Tina: Pass Jimmy and Jerry!
Jimmy: No! We like this shape!
(Tina zooms past Jimmy, without running into him.)
Jimmy: (laughing)
(Unfortunately, Jimmy laughing is what causes the upside-down pyramid of marshmallows, with Jerry still on it, to topple over.)
Jerry: Inevitable.
(Jerry falls down.)
Jimmy and Jerry: Ow!
(Ichabeezer is still trying to stop Rooney from pulling on the leash, when Tina comes back and jump ropes on it again.)
Tina: Mama called the doctor and the doctor said...
Ichabeezer: "No more monkeys jumping on the ceiling!"
(Tina runs off after that. Scene switches to back at Junior's party where Junior and his guests are bored, the broccoli boy making a tower with French Fries.)
Broccoli Boy: I wish this was fun!
Junior: Dad, can we do chores instead?
(Tina arrives back to the party, which Captain Mike is happy to see.)
Captain Mike: You're just in time! What else do you have planned?
Tina: Um, I didn't plan anything!
Captain Mike: (surprised) You offered to run Junior's party but you didn't make any plans?
Tina: I thought I'd make it up as I go!
Captain Mike: Tina, good planning and hard work lead to good things, but rushing and taking shortcuts, they lead to ruin.
Tina: You made that up.
Captain Mike: It's from the Bible.
Tina: Oh. Hey, let's have a puppet show! Kids love a good puppet show!
(Tina picks up a bundle of socks from the box.)
Captain Mike: (disgusted) Uh, are these your gym socks? They're damp.
Tina: They're puppets! (throws the socks on the ground)
Captain Mike: Tina!
Tina: Can't, I'm sorry! I'll be right back!
(Tina leaves once again, while Junior, the broccoli boy, and Bacon Bill look at the pile of socks on the ground. Suddenly, something underneath the socks move, which scares them, as Captain Mike jumps into Bacon Bill's 'arms' in fright.)
Captain Mike: Did that thing move?
(The pile of socks moves again. Tina jump ropes on Rooney's leash again.)
Tina and Ichabeezer: Blah-blah, monkeys, blah-blah-blah! Blah-blah, ceiling, blah-blah-blah!
(Tina runs off again. This time, Jimmy and Jerry are now standing on top of a marshmallow tower, but Tina runs into them again.)
Jimmy: Stop running into us!
Jerry: Clumsy!
Tina: Sorry!
(Jimmy and Jerry land on the ground again, while the marshmallows are stacked on them, while Tina slides down the marshmallow tower.)
Tina: Excuse me, guys!
(Tina runs off once again and comes up to Mayor Archibald's house again.)
Tina: Hey, Cherry Cat!
(Tina enters the house again.)
Tina: Who's ready to partay?!
Archibald: (exclaims in frustration) This is an outrage!
(Mayor Archibald throws the hot dog on the plate in fury.)
Corn Gentleman: This isn't a party, it's a fiasco!
Carrot Gentleman: A catastrophic debacle!
Broccoli Gentleman: A demolitious shamblicious!
Archibald: Let's not lose sight of, um, how special this day is for... people.
(The guests can only stare at Mayor Archibald.)
Tina: I didn't mean to serve you hot dogs, they were for Junior Asparagus's birthday party. I meant to bring you guys lobsters. (gasps in realization) I delivered live lobsters to Junior's party!
(Back at Junior's party...)
Captain Mike: Ah! Lobster on head! Lobster on head!
(Captain Mike starts running around in a panic with a lobster clamped to his head. Bacon Bill and the broccoli boy are looking at the other lobsters, as one of them starts to crawl towards the broccoli boy.)
Broccoli Boy: I'm not gonna eat that!
Bacon Bill: Hello, little fella. Are you lost? (the lobster pinches him) Ha-ha! He likes me! He wants to be friends!
Broccoli Boy: Uh, Bill, he's very angry with you.
(Two more lobsters crawl up to Bacon Bill and pinch him as well.)
Bacon Bill: (laughing) Knock it off! (laughing)
(More lobsters are on the table with the presents and cake, just as Captain Mike runs up to Junior.)
Junior: Who planned this party?
Tina: (O.S.) Nobody?
(Tina is shown smiling innocently at Junior, who can only stare crestfallenly.)
Archibald: (O.S.) Tina!
Tina: Uh, I gotta go!
(Tina leaves once again.)
Captain Mike: Oh, come on!
(Ichabeezer is still trying to stop Rooney, when this time, Tina knocks them into the air before they fall down again. Jimmy and Jerry are balanced on the marshmallow tower again, but get knocked over again when Tina zooms past them again. Tina then arrives at Mayor Archibald's house, where Mayor Archibald is sadly holding the Cherry Cat, knocking over Mayor Archibald, who goes to face Tina.)
Archibald: The guests left!
Tina: I'll get 'em back! Gimme a chance! I just wanted to help out!
Archibald: You're fired!
(Mayor Archibald storms back inside, while Tina is saddened about what she did, wandering into the town square and sadly looking at her reflection in the fountain's water.)
Tina: Oh, why did I think I could pull off two parties with no plans?
(Bob and Larry show up next to Tina after that.)
Larry: Hey, Tina. You look sad.
Tina: That's because I am sad. (crying)
Bob: How can we help you, Tina?
Tina: Oh, Bob. I didn't plan anything! Junior and the mayor were counting on me and I messed it all up!
Bob: If you need a plan, we can help.
Tina: Would you?
Larry: We're good at planning!
Bob: We even planned to plan!
Larry: Or, we could plan to plan to plan plan!
Bob: (moans)
Tina: What was that verse about planning?
Bob: "Good planning and hard work lead to good things, but rushing and taking shortcuts leads to ruin."
Tina: I ruined everything! How can a plan help now?
Bob: It's gonna take work, but we'll help you fix both birthdays!
Tina: Both birthdays?
Bob: Today is Archibald's birthday. He's kinda shy about it.
Tina: Of course! How could I miss that? Okay, we need a plan!
(Bob, Larry, and Tina huddle together to discuss the plan.)
Tina: This is what we-
Bob: Okay, here's what we're gonna do-
Tina: I'm thinking-
Larry: Let's plan to plan to plan to plan to plan to plan to plan-
Bob and Tina: Larry!
Larry: Sorry.
(They huddle up again. Scene switches to the school playground, where Junior, the broccoli boy, and Bacon Bill are now swinging on the swings.)
Broccoli Boy: I can go higher than you, Bill!
Bacon Bill: Nobody swings as high as a strip of delicious bacon! Whee!
(Bacon Bill swings so hard that he flies off his swing and lands in the sandbox. Bob, Larry, and Tina show up while Larry has the Heli-mopter on his head.)
Bob, Larry, and Tina: Come to the fountain in an hour! We have a new party planned!
(Bob throws three party hats as they land on the ground in front of Junior and the broccoli boy, while Bacon Bill is still stuck in the sand.)
Bob: You can swing now.
(Junior and the broccoli boy are confused. Scene switches to Larry and Tina entering Pa Grape's Store, where the party guests from before have gotten lobsters, before Tina approaches them.)
Tina: We planned a new event!
Larry: Come to the fountain at 4:00 sharp!
(Larry and Tina leave, much to the confusion of Mayor Archibald and his party guests. Scene switches to the town center, where a large party has been set up. At the party, a broccoli man manages to bowl a perfect ten, while Junior is seen playing "Baseball 3 Billion".)
Tina: (O.S.) Ice cream!
(Junior, the broccoli boy, and the corn gentleman go to get some ice cream. Mayor Archibald and the carrot gentleman each get a popsicle, while Bacon Bill gets a bowl that has a whole stack of scoops of ice cream. Bacon Bill then comes up to Captain Mike and Junior, then throws his bowl of ice cream into the air, as he eats it all in one bite, then spits the bowl back out, but eats it again.)
Archibald: Oh, this sundae bar is exquisite!
Corn Gentleman: And scrumptious!
Carrot Gentleman: And delectable!
Broccoli Gentleman: And really good!
(Tina then gets everyone's attention.)
Tina: Mayor Archibald! I'm so glad you like the sundae bar that we planned for your special day!
Archibald: (gasps) What do you mean 'special'?
Tina: Today isn't just Junior's birthday, it's your birthday!
(Larry gives a cake to Mayor Archibald, who is excited.)
Archibald: I thought no one remembered!
Tina: And Junior, now I didn't plan your birthday very well.
Junior: The first part was a huge bummer, but the ice cream part, killer!
Tina: Everybody, ready? And a one, and a two!
(Music starts to play.)
All: (singing) Oh, happy birthday, friend!
Happy birthday, friend!
Hap hap hap hap
Hap hap hap hap
Happy birthday, friend!
It's a day to celebrate
To eat ice cream and some cake
Please open up your presents now
We can hardly wait
We'll shout "Hip hip hooray!"
Because we know it's true
God designed one of a kind,
There's only one of you!
Oh, happy birthday, friend!
Happy birthday, friend!
Hap hap hap hap
Hap hap hap hap
Happy birthday, friend!
Hey!
Junior: This is the best birthday ever!
Tina: All it took was a little planning!
(The screen irises out on Tina, ending the episode.)