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This is the episode transcript for Trouble on Planet Wait-Your-Turn.


(The episode opens with a blue car on a country road in the Poconos region of Pennsylvania. Cut to inside the car, where we see the kids, Jason and Michelle.)

Michelle: (humming) [doll's shoe hits Jason] Whoops.

Jason: (picks up shoe and adjusts glasses) Mom, she did it again!

Mrs. Conrad: Michelle, now come on, we're almost there. Apologize to your brother.

Michelle: Sorry, Jason.

Mrs. Conrad: I hope you two don't act this way while you're at Grandmum's.

Michelle: Yay, Grandmum's cottage! (continues humming)

Jason: (sarcasticlly) Yay, Grandmum's cottage. You know, Trevor's at Space Camp right now.

Mrs. Conrad: Jason, you'll get to go to Space Camp after Grandmum's cottage. You're just going to need to be patient.

Michelle: I just love Grandmum's cottage! Are we almost there?

Mr. Conrad: You should know where we are, cupcake, unless you aren't wearing your glasses again.

(The car pulls up in front of Grandmum's cottage)

Mr. Conrad: Hey, hey, hey! We're here!

(Jason's window rolls down.)

Grandmum: Hello, sweeties! How's my two favorite twin pumpkins?

Michelle and Jason: Hi, Grandma.

Grandmum: Oh, that's "Grandmum" to you, you little bugs!

Mr. Conrad: Oh, you kids are gonna love it here. Your grandfather finished this place when I was about your age.

Grandmum: That's right. Built the whole place himself, he did. Quite a man, your granddad.

(Michelle runs up to hug Grandmum)

Grandmum: Oh! Goodness, now, which one are you, then?

Michelle: We're not identical twins, Grandmum.

Jason: (offscreen) Thank goodness.

Michelle: Just remember, I'm the cute one.

Jason: And I'm the one who's supposed to be at Space Camp.

(Jason gets out of the car.)

Mrs. Conrad: Okay, that's everything. I'm afraid we have to run or we'll miss our flight.

Mr. Conrad: Thanks for watching the kids, Mom! Jason and Michelle, we'll call you when we get there.

Grandmum: Have a good trip. And don't you worry about these two, they'll be just fine here. No better place for kids, you know.

Mr. Conrad: That's right.

Mrs. Conrad: Bye-bye, sweethearts, we love you! Be good for your grandmum.

Mr. Conrad: And have fun!

Grandmum: Come on, pumpkins! You can give me a hand with supper.

Michelle: Bye!

Mr. and Mrs. Conrad: Goodbye!

Jason: Goodbye.

(The car pulls away, but after a few seconds it comes back)

Mr. Conrad: Jason, your mom and I know you'd rather be at Space Camp right now, so we got you and Michelle something that might make the time go faster. Now, be sure you take turns with your sister. We'll call you tonight, buddy.

(After the car pulls away again, Jason is shown to have a game console and video game in hand. He runs into the house and looks for the TV. When he sees it, he looks at the technologically advanced TV on the box and the old TV.)

Grandmum: What's that you got, love?

Jason: Huh? Oh, it's a Turbo 3000 game console, and the best game in the world, Bonsai Master 3: Pruner of Destiny. It's almost as cool as Space Camp. I just need some tools to hook it up to your, uh, T.V.

Grandmum: Oh, the telly. Sounds lovely. Sure you can make it work?

Jason: No job's too hard when you use your head.

(Jason puts the console on the floor and starts to hook it up. Michelle approaches with glasses on.)

Michelle: Hey, what's that?

Jason: It's a Turbo 3000. Mom and Dad gave it to us.

Michelle: Are you gonna be able to hook it to that old T.V.?

Jason: Sure, it's easy. Ow! Ow. Ha, it's done.

(He sees Michelle holding a controller.)

Michelle: Is it ready?

Jason: Whoa-ho-ho-ho no, I don't think so. Dad handed to me, and I got it all hooked up, so I get to go first.

Michelle: Hooking it up is half the fun. I get to go first.

Jason: No way, Michelle.

Jason and Michelle: (arguing)

Grandmum: Merciful heavens! What's all this then? (Jason and Michelle stop arguing.) I can't have my little onions fighting like frogs and dogs now, can I? Look, I'm glad you got a new widget there, but you need to learn to wait your turn. To let someone else go first every now and then. It's called patience, and it's a virtue. Now, let's see, what's the Good Book say? Oh, right! "A patient man has great understanding, but a quick tempered man displays folly." Do you know what folly is?

Jason and Michelle: (shake their heads)

Grandmum: Foolishness! Trouble! Having to go first all the time only leads to trouble. Good things come to those that wait.

Jason: I couldn't agree more. That's why you should wait your turn.

Michelle: No way, Jason. Besides, I had a controller first.

Jason: Yes, but I have the controller that's plugged in. (turns on T.V.)

(Video game noises start up, but the T.V. breaks)

Grandmum: Supper's ready! Ooh, it smells even more delicious out here.

(Fade to later that evening, where we see Jason and Michelle at the dinner table.)

Michelle: (sniffs) So, Grandmum, what's for dinner?

Grandmum: Well, for your first supper here at the cottage, I thought I'd fix you one of your granddad's favorites, pie.

Michelle: (snickers) Pie for dinner?

Grandmum: Oh, yes, sometimes we'd have it thrice a week.

(Jason mouths "Pie.")

Michelle: Do they always serve pie for dinner in England?

Grandmum: Oh, no. Not always. Some folks serve bangers and mash, or bubble and squeak, or haggis.

Michelle: Haggis?

Grandmum: Oh, nasty stuff. Mostly hearts and lungs. Sticks to the roof of your mouth like skunk bottom. Now, there's a dish you don't try more than once.

Jason: I knew this one kid who ate frog brains.

Grandmum: With a little butter and salt, not bad, really, frog brains.

Michelle: Um, what kind of pie is this, anyway?

Grandmum: Why, it's kidney pie, dearie.

Michelle: Kidneys? Real kidneys?

(Jason starts to take a bite, but stops when he hears what kind of pie it is.)

Michelle: Grandmum, would it be okay if I just went upstairs to play? I'm not really hungry anyway. We stopped at Burger Bell on the way up.

Jason: Yeah, me too, Grandmum?

Grandmum: Well, alright, sweeties. I was hoping to show you my collectibles. But that can wait till morning, I suppose.

Michelle: Thanks, Grandmum.

Jason: Yeah, thanks.

(As Jason goes upstairs, Michelle eyes four penguin figurines.)

Grandmum: You be careful with those, pumpkin. Your granddad gave those to me on our honeymoon in the Falklands. Always knew how to make me smile, he did, your granddad. Oh, if only he was here to see his little granddaughter playing with the penguins he got me on our honeymoon in the Falklands. (sniffs) Oh well, good memories. All that matters.

Michelle: Thanks, Grandmum, I'll be careful.

(Cut to later that night. Grandmum is seen vacuuming.)

Grandmum: (humming)

Jason: Space Commander Jason, here. I'm stranded on a hostile planet with absolutely nothing to do, or eat.

(As Jason lies on his bed, Michelle plays with the penguins.)

Michelle: (with high voice) You look very handsome today, Mr. Penguin! (with low voice) And you look beautiful in that new dress, Miss Penguin. Did you borrow it from Miss Pretty Pretty? (with high voice) I beg your pardon, Miss Pretty Pretty borrows clothes from me, thank you very much.

Jason: Did you bring any comic books?

Michelle: (with high voice) Why, I don't believe I did, Mr. Jason. I mostly read magazines from Paris, on account of me being a supermodel.

(Jason balances a controller on his nose.)

Jason: I'm gonna die here.

(After the controller falls down, he notices a cord attached to the ceiling. As he jumps across beds to grab it, Michelle keeps playing with the penguins.)

Michelle: (with low voice) Did you say you speak French, Miss Penguin? (with high voice) Oui, oui, I do, indeed. Quite well, Mr. Penguin. (with low voice) Wow, beautiful and sophisticated. You're an amazing penguin, Miss Penguin. (with high voice) Why, merci ever so much, Mr. Penguin! (giggles)

(Jason grabs the cord. His weight pulls down a door which leads to an attic. The stairs slide out from the attic.)

Michelle: (with low voice) Oh, you dropped your hat.

(The stairs barely miss Michelle.)

Michelle: Jason?

Jason: (nervous laugher)

Michelle: You almost killed me!

Jason: There was a ring. It was hanging, so I jumped, then the stairs fell from the sky! I wonder where they go.

Michelle: Oh no you don't, Jason T. Conrad! You put those right back in the ceiling before Grandmum comes up here.

(Jason starts to climb the stairs.)

Jason: I think you have to pull these shut from the top. I'll go try.

Michelle: Okay, but you come down just as soon as...but, if, Jason! (stomps foot) Oh!

(Jason enters the attic, looks around and goes into a box.)

Michelle: Jason.

Jason: (with a space helmet on.) Greetings, earthling. Hey, Michelle, look at all this cool stuff. (he pulls out a toy spaceship.) Awesome. The starship Sileme glides gracefully through space. Level 5 Bonsai Master Captain Manolo and his crew of botanists are headed for a distant galaxy Flowm. But what's that in the distance? Could it be? Oh, no! An intergalactic chokeberry. "Quick!" cries Captain Manolo, "Launch dry chloroprene torpedoes!" Choo-choo! (makes explosion sound effect) A direct hit! And four to six days you'll be reduced to wilted stem tissue. Hooray!

(Michelle finds a photo of their grandfather.)

Michelle: It's Granddad! Jason, look at this!

(Jason makes plane noises.)

Michelle: Look, it's Granddad!

Jason: How do you know that's Granddad?

Michelle: Look, here's Grandmum standing in front of this cottage with him. Who else could it be?

(Jason finds a photo of Granddad by a telescope.)

Jason: Wow, cool telescope. I wonder where that picture was taken.

(They see the telescope, which is covered by a tarp. Upon seeing it, they both run towards it.)

Jason: I saw it first!

Michelle: No, you didn't! I did!

Jason: No, you didn't.

(The telescope is revealed. They then start to fight over it.)

Michelle: You got to try the video game first!

Jason: It didn't even work! I get to go first!

Michelle: Do not.

Jason: Stop, you're gonna break it!

Michelle: You stop. (Jason pulls the telescope away.) Okay, okay, okay. Look, I'm the oldest. I get to decide.

Jason: Huh, by five minutes? Big whoop, I saw it first.

Michelle: Well, I could decide that you could go first.

Jason: Yeah?

Michelle: (pushes Jason aside.) Nah, I decided I'll go first.

Jason: (grunts)

Michelle: (looks through the telescope.) Wow. Cool.

Jason: Okay, my turn.

Michelle: Oh, no, no, no. I'm not even close to being done. You'll just have to wait your turn, quietly.

Jason: (grunts, then he looks at the penguins. He then puts them in the spaceship.) After a short lunch break, Captain Manolo and his team of botanists resume their search for a perfect bonsai breeding ground.

(Jason makes airplane noises and zips past Michelle. He zips past her again while making more airplane noises.)

Michelle: I can't hear you.

Jason: (makes louder airplane noises)

(Jason backs up a bit before tripping on a toolbox. As he falls back, the ship flies out of his hands and into the box. Suddenly, to his surprise, the ship jumps out and bounces around the attic until it comes to life.)

Jason: Huh? Michelle, the ship is flying by itself!

Michelle: Nice try, Jason.

Jason: No, really!

(The ship flies up to him as the glass dome on the roof opens.

Jason: Woah.

(It turns out not only has the ship come to life, but so have the penguins. The big-haired penguin, known as Zidgel, talks to Jason.)

Zidgel: Jason T. Conrad!

Jason: Huh?!

Zidgel: We need your help!

Jason: You're, you're alive.

(Cut to the inside of the ship, where we see the ship's pilot, Midgel, in the driver's seat.)

Midgel: Course we are, kid. (Jumps out of the seat) It's much easier to do our jobs that way.

Zidgel: Get in here, Jason. (A screen shows a picture of a plate of bacon and eggs.) The galaxy waits for no man. (Midgel bumps the screen, which shows a picture of the galaxy.)

Jason: Wha? I can't. I'm too big.

Zidgel: Ah, too big, too big. When I was your size, I was twice your size. (To the ship's professor,...) Dr. Fidgel, galeezel him.

Fidgel: Yes, right away.

(A big claw pops out of the ship and grabs Jason.)

Jason: Hey!

(Fidgel pulls Jason into the ship.)

Jason: Aaaaaahhhhhh!

(Jason is now in the ship.)

Jason: I, I, I can't believe you guys are alive.

Zidgel: Of course we are.

Midgel: Either that or you're daydreaming.

Fidgel: That's true. Sensors indicate that he could be daydreaming.

Midgel: But no time for small talk now, we've got work to do.

Jason: What about my sister? Is she coming?

Zidgel: Don't worry, she'll get her chance, but right now, you're the one that we need. Alright, boys, strap yourselves in. It could be a bumpy ride.

(Jason sees one remaining seat, but the big penguin, known as Kevin, sees it too. Before Jason can run to it, Kevin picks him up.)

Jason: Huh?

(Kevin, with Jason in his arms, jumps into the seat, but they hit the window first before taking their seat.)

Kevin: Hello!

Jason: Hi. Do you know where we're going?

Kevin: Up.

Jason: Right, okay.

Zidgel: Hang on.

Midgel: Bonsaiiiii!!!

(A small bonsai tree pops up, and Midgel cuts a piece off. Soon, the ship roars around the attic before disappearing in a flash of light. Michelle has not noticed any of this.)

Michelle: You'll have to do better than that, Jason.

(Cut to the ship in space. Inside, Zidgel is combing his hair.)

Zidgel: Okay, boys, I think it's time we briefed our new cadet. (To Jason) Now listen up: I am Captain Zidgel. This is my ship. Over here, we have Dr. Fidgel.

Fidgel: How do you do?

Zidgel: This is the ship's pilot and engineer, First Officer Midgel. And, um, ahem, that's, uh, Kevin.

(Kevin is shown vacuuming.)

Kevin: Pleasure.

Jason: What does he do?

(Kevin looks in the vacuum hose and gets sucked into it.)

Zidgel: Mostly, he just does that.

(Kevin gets sucked into the vacuum canister.)

Jason: Okay, so, where are we going?

Fidgel: We received a report on our FAX machine that Planet Wait-Your-Turn is in crisis.

Jason: Wait a minute, you guys get your directions on a FAX machine?

Zidgel: Yes. Why?

Jason: No reason. So, what's the crisis?

Zidgel: That, we don't know. We were low on toner. (Jason rolls his eyes.) Let's get on with our mission, boys. Engineer Midgel, engage hyperdrive.

Midgel: Hyperdrive? We're only ten miles away, can't you read a map?

Zidgel: Hmm?

Fidgel: Perhaps if he was wearing his glasses. (Zidgel looks at a map while wearing glasses.) He doesn't wear his glasses because he thinks they make him look silly.

Zidgel: That's not true! I, uh, I just don't like the red marks they make on my beak.

(The ship shakes a bit.)

Zidgel: Great schools of halibut! We've been hit!

Midgel: It's alright, we're okay. We were in the correct landing pattern, but another ship got right in front of us. Clipped us with his wing.

Fidgel: How rude.

Zidgel: We'll, uh, have to report this to the local authorities. Let's bring this ship down. Buckle up for landing, everyone!

(Everyone gets buckled up while Fidgel and Jason get in inflatable seats.)

Midgel: Right, here we go.

Zidgel: You can do it, Midgel.

Fidgel: Yes, we believe in you.

Midgel: Hang on!

(The ship enters the planet's atmosphere. As it lands, it bounces across the landscape before it skids across the ground. It then stops before going off a cliff. A door opens and a ramp shoots out of the ship.)

Jason: What went wrong?

Fidgel: Wrong? That was a pretty good one! Spot on!

Midgel: Thank you very much. I thought it was rather impressive.

Zidgel: Yes, much better than the last one.

Jason: It felt like the landing gear broke off.

Zidgel: Landing gear?

Midgel: Landing gear?

Fidgel: Landing gear, you know, that's not a bad idea.

Midgel: It just might work! I think the kid's got something.

Zidgel: Landing gear? Hm, no matter, here we are.

Fidgel: Quite, and as the ship's scientist, I should go out first.

Midgel: Uh, as the ship's engineer, I should go first.

Zidgel: As captain, I'll go first.

(Kevin is still in the vacuum.)

Kevin: As Kevin, can I stay here?

Zidgel: Alright, mister, if that's your attitude, you can just go first.

(Kevin is about to leave the ship until Zidgel stops him.)

Zidgel: Hey, not so fast. You can't go out dressed like that, you'll frighten the natives.

(Zidgel pushes a button that launches Kevin out of the vacuum. Kevin lands on the planet's surface and is greeted by a line of sentient vacuum cleaners.)

Zidgel: Come on, everyone.

Vacuum cleaner #1: Hey, buddy. You can't just cut in front of me.

Vacuum cleaner #2: I didn't just cut in front of you. I also cut in front of him, him, him, and him! And while we've been standing here, they've cut in front of us.

Midgel: Kind of off behavior for a planet called "Wait-Your-Turn".

Zidgel: They're all cutting in line! They're barbarians! Back to the ship!

Midgel: Woah there, Captain, remember, we've got a job to do.

Zidgel: What? Oh, yeah.

Midgel: See? Look, Kevin's started already.

(Kevin is shown carrying a vacuum.)

Vacuum cleaner #3: Get your hands off me, you big lug! I can't wait, let me go!

Kevin: Stop it. Be nice.

Vacuum cleaner #3: (attempts to bite Kevin)

Fidgel: Excuse me, but how long has all this cutting been going on?

Vacuum cleaner #4: Oh, it all started when President No-I'm-The-President took office.

Vacuum cleaner #5: (in garbled voice) Pushed his way into office, you mean.

Zidgel: I see. Well, fear not, good vacuums. We have heard your distress signal, and we are here to help.

Larry the Cucumber Vacuum Cleaner: What? Oh, you're the guys from the Federation! We didn't call about the cutting in line.

Vacuum cleaner #6: We called you about the heat.

Zidgel: Heh, come to think of it, it is awfully hot out here.

Fidgel: Like a sauna.

Midgel: Like a barbecue.

Zidgel: Like someone's barbecuing in a sauna!

Vacuum cleaner #7: It's gotten so bad, we had to cancel our ice sculpture competition!

Vacuum cleaner #8: And this would have been the winning entry!

(We see a vacuum standing by a melted sculpture.)

Vacuum cleaner #9: It was a swan. It was...beautiful.

(Zidgel makes himself a lemonade.)

Zidgel: Man. Midgel, key the satellite viewing system. Find out why it's so hot down here. (sips drink)

(Midgel's satellite viewing system shows a picture of people barbecuing in a sauna.)

Midgel: Hang on. (whacks the device until it shows the pink planet cutting in front of two other planets) Captain, this planet is in worse trouble than we thought! It's broken out of its normal orbit, and it's trying to cut in front of the other planets in its solar system.

(Jason and Zidgel gasp silently. Zidgel then gets out a mirror and gasps silently again)

Fidgel: I think I know why, Captain. Sensors indicate a cutting in line bug infecting the entire planet.

(Kevin walks by carrying Vacuum #3 again)

Vacuum cleaner #3: Oh yeah, that's the bug that was introduced into our environment by President No-I'm-The-President. You don't think that has something to do with all this mess, do ya?

Fidgel: It's a theory, anyway.

Midgel: And that's not all! In taking itself out of its normal orbit, the planet is now headed directly toward its sun!

(crickets chirping)

Jason: Don't you people understand? Your planet is headed for the sun!

Vacuum cleaner #10: Yeah, but at least we're ahead of all the other planets. The cup is half-full, my friend.

Midgel: Why, that is good news. Captain, did you hear that? We're on the planet that's first!

Jason: (gasps) Penguins, we have to get out of here! The cutting in line bug is infecting us too!

Midgel: Nonsense! But if it is, it infected me first.

Fidgel: No, I was first.

Kevin: Me! Me!

Zidgel: You're all being ridiculous! I wanted to cut in front of you hours ago.

Jason: People! Don't you understand what happens when you get too close to the sun? You'll burn up!

(Sure enough, the trees on the planet start to catch fire.)

Penguins and Vacuum cleaners: Aaaaaaaaaahh!

Zidgel: To the ship!

Midgel: To the ship!

Vacuum cleaner #3: To the ship!

(The penguins and vacuums run to the ship.)

Zidgel: Me first!

Midgel: Me first!

Vacuum cleaner #3: Me first! (He pulls Midgel off the ramp.)

Jason: We're all gonna die if we keep this up! (He's pulled off the ramp by one of the inhabitants)

Midgel: He could be right!

Zidgel: Or it could be a clever scam so that he could go first!

Jason: Wait! Listen to me! We need to learn to wait our turns. To let someone else go first now and then. It's called patience. It's a virtue.

Zidgel: I couldn't agree more! That's why you should wait your turn!

Jason: No, no. Oh, what was that verse? Um, "A patient man has great understanding, but a quick tempered man displays folly."

Vacuum cleaner #11: What's folly?

Jason: Foolishness. Trouble. Having to go first all the time only leads to trouble! Like getting burned up by the sun. Now, the consequences are not always so extreme, but good things come to those who wait.

Zidgel: So, what do we do?

Jason: After you.

Vacuum cleaners: (gasp)

(planet screeches to a halt)

Jason: What happened?

Vacuum cleaner #12: You, you told someone else to go first. We haven't heard that since the line started. (sucks up dust bunny)

Fidgel: Jason, you've destroyed the cutting in line bug.

Midgel: Not only that, but the planet is returning to its normal orbit!

Vacuum cleaners: (cheer)

Kevin: (eats dust bunny, then spits it out)

Vacuum cleaner #13: Attention, everyone. President No-I'm-The-President was at the front of the line when the planet abruptly stopped.

Fidgel: Where is he now?

Vacuum cleaner #13: He was last seen hurling through space. Over, over there!

(Said president is shown flying away from the planet.)

President No-I'm-The-President: Ahhhhhhhhhh!

(After checking his watch, Vacuum #13 continues.)

Vacuum cleaner #13: He is succeeded by President After-You.

(A podium appears with a poster of the last president, which is replaced with a poster of the new president. President After You shows up, accompanied by secret service vacuums.)

President After-You: Hello, citizens. As my first act in office, I would like to officially thank Jason and his penguin friends for saving our beloved planet.

Vacuum cleaners: Yay!

Jason: Mr. President, I have to ask. What was so important that everyone was cutting in line to see?

President After-You: Why, our telescope, Jason. We've discovered the most bizarre creature who appears to be spying on us.

(Through the telescope, we see Michelle still looking through the telescope in the attic.)

Zidgel: Well, looks like our work here is done. Penguins, let's pack it up.

Jason: Goodbye, everyone!

Vacuum cleaners: Goodbye!

Midgel: You know, I really like that whole landing gear idea. I think I'm gonna give it a go.

Jason: Yeah? Do you think you can build it?

Midgel: Yeah. No job's too hard when you use your head. Right, Jason?

(The ship takes off and flies back to Earth.)

Zidgel: Stardate, me out here, Kevin, I'm having a little trouble reading the star calendar.

Kevin: Uh, Wednesday.

Zidgel: Stardate Wednesday. Mission accomplished. Planet Wait-Your-Turn is safe and sound, thanks to Jason's amazing display of patience.

Jason: I couldn't have done it without you guys.

Fidgel: You really don't get this whole daydreaming thing, do you?

Jason: Huh?

(Jason is now back in the attic, playing with the ship. Michelle is still using the telescope, but Jason is being patient now.)

Michelle: I'm not quite finished yet.

Jason: Don't worry about it, I'll look when you're done.

(Michelle looks back, surprised that Jason has quickly learned to be patient. Fade to later that night.)

Grandmum: Alright, bugs, time to turn the lights out. Don't forget your prayers.

Michelle: Dear God, thank you for Mom and Dad.

Jason: And keep them safe on their trip.

Michelle: Thank you for Grandmum and her cottage.

Jason: And for the really cool spaceship in the attic.

Michelle: And for the telescope that I got to use first.

Jason: And thank you for helping me learn to be patient, but please teach Michelle something next time.

Jason and Michelle: Amen.

(As the camera pans away from the house, the ship is shown flying past the moon.)