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This is the transcript for Tina's the Boss.


(Scene opens to Petunia taking several flowers off the shelves and putting them in boxes. Petunia then jumps up and puts one box on top of a stack on boxes that are in a wagon.)

Petunia: Flower orders for today are packed! Tina, have you finished restocking the shelf?

(Cut to Tina playing with a yo-yo.)

Tina: Yep!

(Camera zooms out to show several flower pots piled up next to the empty shelf.)

Tina: Uh, I mean, almost!

Petunia: I asked you to restock it an hour ago.

Tina: Yeah, but then I found this sweet yo-yo. Watch this!

(Tina starts throwing the yo-yo back and forth and up and down, while Petunia's eyes follow the yo-yo in all directions, before her head contracts then goes back to its regular shape again. The yo-yo then hits the Sawtooth Flytrap, who then grabs the yo-yo and pulls Tina forward, before the Flytrap starts yo-yo-ing Tina back and forth.)

Tina: I meant to do that!

Petunia: Tina, you should take the job you're given seriously!

(Tina takes the yo-yo back from the Sawtooth Flytrap and runs back to Petunia.)

Tina: If people worked for me, I would let them do whatever they wanted whenever they wanted. And we'd have so much fun!

(Tina does the Rock the Baby trick with her yo-yo.)

Petunia: You wouldn't get much done.

Tina: Oh, really? Well maybe I'll just start my own business and we'll see about that!

(Tina goes to leave.)

Petunia: Just make sure it's nothing important.

Tina: Something not important. Hmm. How about a dust collector? Or a soap bubble maker? Or a cartoonist? Nah! Ah! Got it!

(Cut to Tina speaking through a bullhorn.)

Tina: Fire department! Volunteer fire department! I'm holding auditions to join my volunteer fire department!

(Tina goes back to her desk, before Captain Mike approaches her.)

Captain Mike: Volunteer fire department?

Tina: That's right! Show me whatcha got!

Captain Mike: That's why I always carry this!

(Captain Mike pulls a lobster out from the bag he was carrying.)

Captain Mike: Ah! (chuckling) Uh...

(Captain Mike puts the lobster back in the bag again and pulls out a fireman's hat and hose.)

Captain Mike: This!

(Captain Mike puts on the fireman's hat and jumps forward while holding the hose.)

Captain Mike: (yelling)

Tina: Next!

(Captain Mike lands in front of Tina.)

Tina: You don't seem very fun.

Captain Mike: Fun? I'm not sure fun is the best qualifi-

Tina: Next! Next! Next! Next! Next! Next!

(Captain Mike leaves dejectedly. Scene switches to Madame Blueberry holding a candle and trying to blow out the flame on the candle, but Tina is even more unimpressed.)

Tina: Next!

(Jean-Claude and Phillipe approach Tina while wearing their own fireman's hats.)

Phillipe: Here we are!

Tina: (O.S.) Next!

Phillipe: (gasps) But we are ze fire department!

(Cut back to Madame Blueberry still trying to blow out the flame on the candle. Cut to a row of various veggies passing a bucket of water down the row before a carrot woman dumps the water all over Tina.)

Tina: Next!

Madame Blueberry: Out, flame! Out!

(Madame Blueberry blows on the candle again, but the flame is still intact. Tina approaches Madame Blueberry and nonchalantly blows out the flame on the candle without any problems.)

Tina: Next!

(Scene switches to Mayor Archibald falling face first down the ladder.)

Tina: Next!

Bacon Bill: Breakin' it down! Watch me go!

Tina: Bill, what does this have to do with the fire department?

Bacon Bill: Fire department? Huh, I thought this was a dance competition.

(Bacon Bill resumes dancing again.)

Tina: Next!

(Scene switches to Tina standing dejectedly next to the town fountain.)

Tina: (sighs) I guess nobody's fun enough to join-

(Larry rides by on a hose.)

Larry: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Wa-hoo!

(Bob comes in while riding on a ladder.)

Bob: Whoa!

Larry: Woo! Woo! Woo!

Bob: (yelling)

Tina: Whoa-ho! Now that looks like fun!

(Tina approaches Bob and Larry, who stop.)

Tina: Great audition, you guys!

Larry: Audition? What audition?

Tina: What do you guys think about becoming volunteer firemen?

Larry: I think you'd be great at it! Cool question, Tina! 'Kay, bye!

(Larry goes to leave, while Tina stares angrily. Bob comes up with an idea and uses the ladder to catapult himself and block Larry's path.)

Bob: Don't you see? She's asking us if we wanna be firemen!

Larry: Yee-ha!

(Tina zips up to Bob and Larry.)

Tina: I'll take that as a yes!

(Scene switches to Tina hammering a sign into place.)

Tina: There! "Tina's Fun-Time Fire Department" open for business!

(Tina then faces Bob and Larry.)

Tina: Bob! Larry! I'm the boss, so you better listen to me when I say we are gonna have the most fun anyone's ever had doing anything!

(Bob and Larry smile when Tina says this. Scene switches to Bob and Tina both sitting on the hose, which runs into Bob and Larry's house.)

Tina: Hurry up, Larry!

(Cut to Larry hooking up the hose to the kitchen faucet and turning on the water.)

Larry: Full blast!

(Larry quickly leaves, as the water starts flowing through the hose. Larry quickly runs out of the house.)

Larry: Here it comes! Here it comes!

(Larry sits on the hose with Bob and Tina, just as the water still flows through the hose and underneath the three, before the water then sprays out of the hose, which sends Bob, Larry, and Tina flying through the air while holding on to the hose. Scene switches to Mayor Archibald exiting his house while carrying a cup of coffee, then passes by Bob, Larry, and Tina, who are seemingly floating in mid-air.)

Archibald: Hello, floating citizens.

(Mayor Archibald then becomes surprised. Camera zooms out to show Bob, Larry, and Tina standing on top of ladders.)

Archibald: Ah! Floating citizens?!

(Mayor Archibald drops his coffee cup in surprise.)

Tina: Race ya to the light switch!

(Bob, Larry, and Tina run off while still standing on top of their ladders, while Mayor Archibald watches in stunned silence. The light starts flickering on and off after that. Scene switches to a blast of water knocking a tin can off the gazebo, before cutting to lots of tin cans stacked all over the gazebo, while Bob, Larry, and Tina are using the hose for target practice. Bob then blows on the nozzle of the hose after that.)

Tina: Nice shot, Bob!

Larry: Let me try!

(Larry takes the hose from Bob, before the water then starts shooting from the hose, sending Larry flying around while screaming, the force of the hose causing Larry to knock over the other tin cans. Bob and Tina watch, before Larry then lands next to them again.)

All: (laughing)

Larry: You're the best boss ever, Tina!

(Tina's phone starts ringing, so she answers it.)

Tina: Tina's Fun-Time Fire Department! How could I help you?

(Cut to Granny Asparagus standing outside while on the phone.)

Granny: Hello, Fire Department? Yes, my little kitty cat is stuck in a tree, again.

Mrs. Fuzzyface: (meows)

Granny: Please help!

Mrs. Fuzzyface: (meows)

Tina: (over phone) Sure thing!

(Cut back to Tina.)

Tina: We'll be right there!

(Tina hangs up and comes up to Bob and Larry.)

Tina: We got our first customer! Let's go get Granny's cat out of that tree!

Larry: What about target practice?

Tina: We'll do that after we get back!

Bob: This is gonna be fun, though, right?

Tina: Oh yeah! Getting this cat out of the tree is gonna be super-duper fun!

(Tina quickly runs off, while Larry gets up.)

Larry: Super-duper fun? I'd just settle for super-fun.

(Larry picks up Bob, before the two also run off as well. Scene switches to Bob, Larry, and Tina standing in front of the tree, seeing how high up Mrs. Fuzzyface is.)

Mrs. Fuzzyface: (meowing)

Tina: Alright, let's do this!

Bob: Did I mention I'm afraid of heights?

Larry: And did I mention I'm afraid of cats? And heights. And clowns, but that's not important.

(Tina starts to approach the tree.)

Tina: Me? How am I gonna... all by myself?

(Cut to Tina struggling to climb the tree, while Granny watches.)

Granny: Be careful! And don't look her directly in the eye or she'll attack! And don't touch her tail or she'll attack! Oh! And if she hears you breathing, she'll attack!

(Mrs. Fuzzyface hides in the tree. Cut to Bob and Larry playing see-saw on a ladder.)

Larry: Now this is fun!

Bob: You're doing great, Tina!

(Tina becomes upset but resumes climbing up the tree. Tina then reaches the top of the tree, which surprises Mrs. Fuzzyface before she becomes angry.)

Tina: Aw, it's okay, little cat! I'm here to help! Don't go doing something crazy, okay?

(Tina picks up Mrs. Fuzzyface out of the tree.)

Tina: There, that's not so ba-

(Tina accidentally looks Mrs. Fuzzyface directly in the eye.)

Mrs. Fuzzyface: (yowling)

Tina: Ah! Oh no!

(Tina falls out of the tree as Mrs. Fuzzyface starts attacking her.)

Tina: There's a lot of teeth! Bad teeth!

(Granny takes Mrs. Fuzzyface back from Tina, who starts panting.)

Granny: Oh, thank you so much! Say thank you to the nice lady.

Mrs. Fuzzyface: (screeching)

Tina: (screaming)

Granny: Good kitty.

(Tina falls over in exhaustion again.)

Tina: Where are Bob and Larry?!

(Scene switches to Tina angrily hopping into town.)

Tina: (angrily) I'm gonna give those boys a piece of my mind!

(Tina approaches the gazebo.)

Tina: Where'd they go?

(The sound of Bob and Larry laughing is heard after that, before Tina leaves after that. Scene switches to Pa Grape's store before cutting to inside.)

Bob: And then it starts raining, so now he's out of ping-pong balls covered in goo and wet! So he opens the door and says, "Can you repeat that?" (laughing)

(Larry spits out his drink, before he and Bob start laughing, while Pa Grape is unimpressed.)

Larry: Uh-huh? Yeah, yeah. (chuckles)

(Tina enters the store.)

Tina: Please, you guys.

Bob: And then I say, "Could you open that door for me?" And then he says, "I just did! Why are you asking again?"

(Larry spits out his drink again, the force sending him flying backwards and crashing in the aisles before landing on the floor again.)

Larry: (laughing) Oh, that's a good one!

Tina: Guys, you really left me hanging today.

Bob: Hold on, Tina! I'm the middle of a story! So I say, "Because you just asked me to repeat myself!" (laughing)

Larry: (laughing)

Tina: Guys! Guys!

Larry: Ah! Genius! (laughing)

Bob: (laughing)

(Tina sadly sits in front of the snack counter, before Pa Grape comes up to her.)

Pa Grape: Why so glum, Tina?

Tina: I don't get it! They don't take this job seriously! All they wanna do is have fun.

Pa Grape: It's important that we take the jobs we're given seriously, whether we're in charge or not. And in your case, they're looking to you as an example.

Tina: I guess I blew it, huh?

Pa Grape: If you take the job seriously, they'll take the job seriously.

(Cut to Larry juggling several jars while Bob is watching, before Larry drops the jars when he and Bob hear this, the jars hitting Bob on the head. Tina is still uncertain. Scene switches to back at the fire department headquarters, where Tina is laying on her back while her phone is ringing, before Tina gets up and answers her phone.)

Tina: Tina's Failure Fire Department, how can I help you?

(Cut to Ichabeezer standing outside of his mansion.)

Ichabeezer: Tina, ya gotta help me! I was seeing how many dollar bills could fit in my living room and some got a little too close to the fireplace and, well, my money is on fire! Help!

Tina: You can count on me, Ichabeezer! We'll be right there!

(Tina runs off, leaving her phone behind. Scene switches to back with Bob and Larry at Pa Grape's store.)

Bob: So he says, "Stop repeating everything I say!" So, I say, well, you get the idea. (laughing)

Larry: (laughing)

(Tina suddenly shows up abruptly.)

Tina: Teaching!

(Bob and Larry jump up into the air in surprise then come back down again.)

Tina: Listen up! I haven't been taking this job seriously enough, but now, someone out there needs our help! So those days are gone! We're firefighters, and we fight fires!

(Bob and Larry look at each other in confusion. Tina then jumps up onto one of the aisles.)

Tina: Now who's with me?!

(Bob and Larry look at each other, before they face Tina.)

Larry: I am!

Bob: You can count on me!

(Scene switches to a close-up on Ichabeezer's mouth while he is screaming for help.)

Ichabeezer: Ah! Help! (screaming) Help me! (groaning) Why didn't I invest in fire-proof money? (sobbing) Why?!

(The sound of a fire engine siren is heard, before the scene switches to Tina riding a bike, with Bob in the back, while Larry is on the top mimicking a fire engine siren. Tina then approaches Ichabeezer.)

Tina: Tina's Fire Department here to save the day!

Rooney: (barking)

(Cut to Rooney trapped on the top balcony while the fire is still burning before music starts playing.)

Ichabeezer: I can't get to Rooney! He's stuck on the balcony!

(Tina then looks up at Rooney who is still stuck on the balcony.)

Tina: (singing) Saving lives is all that matters

We'll put an end to this disaster

Breathing hard and moving faster

Grab the hose and hoist the ladder

Fire! Fire!

Our mission's clear

We'll put it out, the crowd will cheer

All: (singing) Fighting on, though beat and battered

Grab the hose and hoist the ladder

Tina: (singing) Yeah

Up on the ledge

The roof, the rafters

We'll give our all

There are no slackers

Bob, Larry, and Tina: (singing) Saving lives is all that matters

Grab the hose and hoist the ladder

Fire, fire, there's no doubt

We're gonna put this fire out

Breathin' hard, movin' faster

Grab that hose, hoist the ladder

Bob: (screaming)

Tina: (singing) Yeah

Grab the hose, hoist the ladder

Rooney: (barking happily)

(The song ends. Scene switches to Bob having gotten the last of the fire put out, while Larry is holding Rooney, who licks him.)

Larry: Aw!

(Larry gives Rooney back to Ichabeezer, who is happy.)

Ichabeezer: Oh, Rooney! I was so worried! (sobbing happily) I'm glad you're safe!

(Rooney licks Ichabeezer.)

Ichabeezer: Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you! You saved my little Roon-Roon!

Larry: Well, we couldn't have done it without such a great boss.

(Tina is surprised when Larry says this. Scene switches to back at Petunia's house.)

Tina: Five and six and seven and eight and nine and ten and eleven and twelve and thirteen and fourteen and-

(Petunia enters the room, becoming surprised to see the shelves and tables now stocked with flowers, before Tina comes up to her.)

Tina: Hey, boss! I'm sorry for not taking this job seriously. I'm ready to get back to work!

(Tina gives one box to Petunia, before stacking more boxes on the ground.)

Tina: And fifteen and sixteen and seventeen and eighteen and nineteen and twenty and twenty-one and twenty-two-

(Petunia puts the last box in the stack, completely blackening the screen, ending the episode.)

(end of transcript)