This is a transcript for The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything Sing Along Songs and More.
NOTE: THIS PAGE NEEDS TO BE IMPROVED AND EXPANDED.
Transcript[]
"VeggieTales Theme Song"[]
Bob: Okay, Larry, it's time for the theme song.
Larry: Uh, yeah, Bob. What do I do?
Bob: Hmm... let's see. I know! You play the guitar.
Larry: Bob, I don't have any hands.
Bob: Oh, you're right. Well, okay, you play this.
Larry: I don't want to play that. I'll look silly.
Bob: Oh, come on. It'll be fun.
Larry: Nope. Not gonna do it.
Bob: It's for the kids.
Larry: Oh, okay. But they better not laugh.
Bob: Alright. Better get out there.
(Larry walks on the screen with a sousaphone. While he's playing it, Bob appears.)
Bob: If you like to talk to tomatoes
If a squash can make you smile
If you like to waltz with potatoes
Up and down the produce aisle...
Have we got a show for you!
(Larry nods, then cuts to clips from previous VeggieTales episodes)
(NOTE: The theme song used is the 2007-2009 version.)
Singers: VeggieTales, VeggieTales, VeggieTales, VeggieTales,
VeggieTales, VeggieTales, VeggieTales, VeggieTales!
Bob: Broccoli, celery, gotta be...
Singers: VeggieTales!
Junior: Lima beans, collard greens, peachy keen...
Singers: VeggieTales!
Larry: Cauliflower, sweet and sour, half an hour...
Singers: VeggieTales!
There's never, ever, ever, ever, ever been a show like VeggieTales!
There's never, ever, ever, ever, ever been a show like VeggieTales!
It's time for VeggieTales!
(Larry faints then kids laugh at him)
Live Action Segment #1 (Introduction)[]
(The scene opens on the Multiplex Theater. A school bell ring is heard.)
Man: Roll it. All right. All right, quiet on the set!
(A clapperboard claps and it disappears. We are introduced to Luke Benward as the host, and Sarah Taylor and Braedyn Wombacher are co-hosts.)
Man: (O.S) And... action!
(The score "Larry's Success Video" from Very Silly Songs! plays.)
Luke Benward: We are here at the Multiplex Theater for a sneak preview of the new feature film "The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: A VeggieTales Movie" coming January 11th! I'm Luke Benward, and I'm your host for the show!
"The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything"[]
Announcer: And now it's time for Silly Songs with Larry, the part of the show where Larry comes out and sings a Silly Song. Joining Larry are Pa Grape and Mr. Lunt, who together make up the infamous gang of scalliwags, "The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything!"
All three: We are The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything
We just stay home and lie around
And if you ask us to do anything
We'll just tell you...
Larry: We don't do anything!
Pa Grape: Well, I've never been to Greenland and I've never been to Denver
And I've never buried treasure in St. Louis or St. Paul
And I've never been to Moscow and I've never been to Tampa
And I've never been to Boston in the fall.
All: Cuz we're the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything
We just stay home and lie around
And if you ask us to do anything
We'll just tell you...
Mr. Lunt: We don't do anything.
And I never hoist the mainstay and I never swab the poop deck
And I never veer to starboard cuz I never sail at all
And I've never walked the gang plank and I've never owned a parrot
And I've never been to Boston in the fall
All: Cuz we're the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything
We just stay at home and lie around
And if you ask us to do anything
We'll just tell you...
"We don't do anything!"
Larry: Well, I've never plucked a rooster and I'm not too good at ping-pong
And I've never thrown my mashed potatoes up against the wall
And I've never kissed a chipmunk and I've never gotten head lice
And I've never been to Boston in the fall!
Pa Grape: Huh? What are you talking about? What's a rooster and mashed potatoes have to do with being a pirate?
Mr. Lunt: Hey, that's right! We're supposed to sing about pirate-y things!
Larry: Oh...
Pa Grape: And who's ever kissed a chipmunk? That's just nonsense! Why even bring it up? Am I right? What do you think?
Mr. Lunt: I think you look like Cap'n Crunch!
Pa Grape: Huh? No I don't!
Mr. Lunt: Do too.
Pa Grape: Do not!
Mr. Lunt: You're making me hungry.
Pa Grape: That's it, you're walkin' the plank!
Mr. Lunt: Says who?
Pa Grape: Says the Captain, that's who!
Mr. Lunt: Oh, yeah? Aye aye, Cap'n Crunch! Hee hee hee hee.
Pa Grape: Arrrrgh!
Mr. Lunt: Yikes!
Larry: And I've never licked a spark plug and I've never sniffed a stink bug
And I've never painted daisies on a big red rubber ball
And I've never bathed in yogurt and I don't look good in leggings...
Pa Grape: You just don't get it!
All: And we've never been to Boston in the fall!
Pa Grape: Pass the chips! Who's got the remote control?
Larry: Here it is!
Mr. Lunt: Time for Geraldo.
Pa Grape: It's definitely time for Wapner.
Mr. Lunt: Oh, I don't like this show.
Larry: Hey look, I found a quarter!
Live Action Segment #2[]
TBA
"What We Gonna Do?"[]
(Is anybody out there?)
(Uh oh, uh oh! . . . Let's count it! . . . Uh oh, uh oh! Let's count it, one . . . two . . . three! T-Mac!)
You ain't got nothin' left to prove today,
Unlikely heroes from around the way,
Come back tomorrow and we'll save the day,
It's on me, it's on you. . . So tell me what we gonna do?
(Uh oh, uh oh!)
Tell me what we gonna do.
(Uh oh, uh oh)
(What you wanna do?)
I'm 'bout to drop us like a habit. (uh oh, uh oh)
The future's our's if we just grab it. (uh oh, uh oh)
Don't need no clutch, it's automatic! (it's automatic)
We just can't ignore what we came here for.
It's only fear that would prevent us. (uh oh, uh oh)
All that we need is deep within us. (uh oh, uh oh)
They've just started somethin' we gonna finish!
And we can't ignore what we came here for.
You ain't got nothin' left to prove today,
Unlikely heroes from around the way,
Come back tomorrow and we'll save the day,
It's on me, it's on you. . . So tell me what we gonna do?
(Uh oh, uh oh!)
Tell me what we gonna do.
(Uh oh, uh oh)
Tell me what we gonna do.
(Uh oh, uh oh)
Tell me what we gonna do.
Tell me what you. . . gonna do?
I'm movin' these shoes like Monopoly.
Ain't never gonna count what it's costin' me.
'Cuz we run the show 'bout 20 below,
From the banks of Negril to the streets of Soho.
I'm movin' these shoes like Monopoly,
Ain't never gonna count what it's costin' me.
Say we run the show 'bout 20 below,
From the banks of Negril to the streets of Soho.
It's our time to shine.
We gonna do it right!
It's our time to blind them.
We gonna do it right now!
It's our time to shine,
We gonna do it right!
And we can't ignore what we came here for.
You ain't got nothin' left to prove today,
Unlikely heroes from around the way,
Come back tomorrow and we'll save the day,
It's on me, it's on you. . . So tell me what we gonna do?
You ain't got nothin' left to prove today,
Unlikely heroes from around the way,
Come back tomorrow and we'll save the day,
It's on me, it's on you. . . So tell me what we gonna do?
Uh oh, uh oh!
Tell me what we gonna do?
Uh oh, uh oh!
It's our time to shine!
Uh oh, uh oh!
Tell me what we gonna do?
Uh oh, uh oh!
It's our time to shine!
Live Action Segment #3[]
TBA
"Spanish Gold"[]
Jacob: Woo-hoo!
Pirates: Oh It's Spanish gold for all tonight
For King and country, now we fight
Our shirts are loose. Our pants are tight
It's Spanish gold for all tonight
Yellow Gourd: It's Spanish gold for all tonight.
Sir Fredrick/Mr. Louis (Jimmy Gourd): Hahaha! You're no match for me! Take that! Taste my steel!
Pirates: Our shirts are loose. Our pants are tight
It's Spanish gold for all tonight
It's Spanish gold for all tonight
As Spaniards quake to see the sight
Our flag unfurled with black and white!
It's Spanish gold for all tonight!
Live Action Segment #4[]
TBA
"Jonah Was a Prophet"[]
Twippo: When I was a boy I went to church back home in Arizona
And that is there I heard the tale of a man whose name was Jonah.
Now Jonah was a prophet, but that's not why he's remembered.
We tell the tale cause in a whale he nearly was dismembered!
Pirates: Jonah was a prophet! (Twippo: Ooh, ooh)
But he really never got it! (Twippo: Sad, but true)
If you've been watching you can spot it! (Twippo: A-doodle-ee-doo!)
He did not get the point!
Twippo: Compassion and mercy!
From me to you and you to me!
Exactly what God wants to see!
And yes, that is the point!
Pirates: Jonah was a prophet! (Twippo: Ooh, ooh)
But he really never got it! (Twippo: Sad, but true)
If you've been watching you can spot it! (Twippo: A-doodle-ee-doo!)
He did not get the point!
Twippo: Now Jonah set sail on a pirate ship In a dreadful gale
Pirates: Got eaten up by a giant whale but managed not to be dead.
You think he would learn a lot
From being saved from an awful spot
But the second chance that he had got
He didn't want to be spread
So poor old Jonah!
And now he's all alone-ah
Got to use a megaphone-ah!
To get it through to his head-HEY! (Hey!)
Jonah was a prophet! (Twippo: Ooh, ooh)
But he really never got it! (Twippo: Sad, but true)
If you've been watching you can spot it! (Twippo: A-doodle-ee-doo!)
He did not get the point!
Jonah was a prophet! (Twippo: Ooh, ooh)
But he really never got it! (Twippo: Sad, but true)
If you've been watching you can spot it! (Twippo: A-doodle-ee-doo!)
He did not get the point!
Twippo: Now, true, in your life you probably don't ride on a camel.
And you probably won't wake up inside a large, aquatic mammal
But all the same, like Jonah there is something you can do.
Everyone deserves to get a second chance from you!
Pirates: Compassion and mercy!
From me to you and you to me!
Exactly what God wants to see!
And yes, that is the point!
Jonah was a prophet! (Twippo: Ooh ooh)
But he really never got it! (Twippo: Sad, but true)
Jonah was a prophet! (Twippo: Ooh ooh)
But he really never got it! (Twippo: Sad, but true)
Twippo and Pirates: Jonah was a prophet!
(Everyone cheers. Suddenly they are interrupted by someone.)
Khalil: I beg your pardon. I hate to break up the party, who needed to tow?
Twippo: Ah... have we met?
(Khalil smiles, and we fade to black.
Live Action Segment #5[]
TBA
"The Right Thing"[]
Mr. Hibbing: Cue the music and the lights.
I got all my excuses I got my list of fears
I've counted all the reasons Why you've called The wrong hero To be here
It's not safe, It's just not worth it
Doing the right thing Is just too hard
But I believed those lies long enough
And I'm not gonna listen anymore
'Cause I remember you said
When all hope is gone
Help will come and
Give me strength to go farther and climb higher
Courage that burns inside like a fire
No turning back this is the day
I will do what I need to and when I need you
I know you're love will come to the rescue
No turning back this is the day
I do the right thing
So what if I'm not the strongest
A little weaker than I'd like to be
Even I can do what's right because
I know the king is calling me
To live a life worth looking up to
Holding on to what matters most
Nobody said it was gonna be easy
But I know I will never go alone
'Cause when all hope is gone
Help will come
Come from above
Give me strength to go farther and climb higher
Courage that burns inside like a fire
No turning back this is the day
I will do what I need to and when I need you
I know you're love will come to the rescue
No turning back this is the day
I do the right thing
(guitar solo)
Give me strength to go farther and climb higher
Courage that burns inside like a fire
No turning back this is the day
I will do what I need to and when I need you
I know you're love will come to the rescue
No turning back this is the day
Give me strength to go farther and climb higher
Courage that burns inside like a fire
No turning back this is the day
I will do what I need to and when I need you
I know you're love will come to the rescue
No turning back this is the day
I do the right thing
Live Action Segment #6[]
TBA
"Rock Monster"[]
Sedgewick: We landed on the beach (ooh!)
We were looking for the Clapping Pass (ooh!)
Something came up behind us (ooh!)
It was a rock monster
(Aaah-aaah-aaah-aaah) (2x)
Rock monster (2x)
We were on the beach (ooh!)
I was running from evil cheese (ooh!)
They were trying to eat me up
But they ran into a rock (ooh!)
But it wasn't a rock (ooh!)
It was a rock monster
(Aaah-aaah-aaah-aaah) (2x)
Petunia and Ellen: Rock monster (2x)
Cheese Curls: Ro-o-ock monster (2x)
Sedgewick: It tossed us in the ocean (ooh ah!)
In our pirate dinghy (ooh ah!)
Here he comes (ooh ah!)
He's on the run (ooh ah!)
Forty feet tall (ooh ah!)
Here comes a cannonball (ooh ah!)
Rock, rock
Rock monster
(Monster, rock monster)
(Monster, rock oo-oo-oo-oo-oh)
(Monster, rock monster)
(Monster, rock oo-oo-oo-oo-oh)
(Oo-oo-oo-oo-oh) (x2)
Bob: (spoken) All right, that's a wrap.
Live Action Segment #7[]
TBA
"Message from the Lord"[]
Jonah: Stop right here, Reginald. (Reginald does so) Dear people, I bring you a Message From the Lord.
Crowd: (gasps)
Jonah: Oh, it's a message of encouragement.
Crowd: (sighs of relief)
Jonah: Do not fight, do not cheat.
Wash your hands before you eat,
There is nothing quite as sweet.
A message from the Lord!
Be a friend, say your prayers.
Heaven loves a heart that cares.
That is why I've come to share a message from the Lord.
And if you follow God's commands,
There will be peace throughout the land!
You will live long and happy lives!
With your sheep, your kids, your wives!
Don't eat pigs, Don't eat bats,
Don't eat beetles, flies or gnats,
Stay away from all of that!
A message from the Lord!
Do what's right. Don't provoke.
Put four tassels on your cloak.
Do not laugh, it's not a joke!
A message from the Lord!
Veggie People (as a choir): Do not fight, do not cheat.
Woman: Wash your hands before you eat,
Man: There is nothing quite as sweet...
Woman 2: A message from the Lord!
Jonah: All together now.
Veggie People (as a choir): Be a friend, Say your prayers,
Heaven loves a heart that cares,
That is why he came to share a message from the Lord.
(Instrumental Break)
Veggie People: And if we follow God's commands,
There will be peace throughout the land!
We will live long and happy lives!
With our sheep, our kids, our wives!
Do what's right, Don't provoke,
Put four tassels on your cloak.
Do not laugh. it's not a joke!
A message from the Lord!
Jonah: Don't do drugs! Stay in school!
Scribe: This is quite a lot of rules
Jonah: Follow them and you're no fool-uh...
Veggie People: Follow them and you're no fool,
Jonah: Follow them and you're no fool,
All: A message from the Lord!
Jonah: Follow them and you're no fool,
All: A message from the Lord! (the lord!) A message from the Lord!
(Jimmy is pulled back by the cart and he hits it, causing mail to fly out. Everyone cheers as the mail flies down)
Jonah: All right! Good show, everyone! Thank you very much!
(He and Reginald proceed to leave)
"Yo Ho, Hero"[]
Man: Raise the mast on the steadfast! Swifter than a bareback seahorse! Sailing an uncharted sea course. Who could survive such a dangerous mission, Alongside pirates with zero ambition?
We got the coconuts poured.
We drop the hooks overboard.
And if you get a little seasick.
We play the Haddock for a Hat trick.
We got the hammocks on the main deck
Pirates: Swingin' low
Man: We got the butler doing the hen-peck.
Pirates: Screamin' so.
Man: He say we should have been swabbin' the poop deck.
Pirates: We don't know.
Man: It's what the other pirates do do. But we're bringin' you.
Yo ho hero. Standing in the gap.
Where'd you put the toys? Time to take a nap.
Yo Ho hero. Flighty as a bird.
Easy is the word. Yo, I'm seein' no heroes.
We're on a limbo craze.
It's a relic from our limber days.
Now we're stuck inside the Limbo-Zone.
Its where the pirates go with too much time and a missing spine.
Yo ho heroes. Standing in the gap.
Where'd you put the map? Take another nap
Yo ho heroes. Strike a better pose.
That's the way it goes. Yo, I'm seein' no heroes.
We're on the Bad Mood Swing.
We haven't done one thing.
Not even a minimum daily requirement.
We got the funk without the Parliament.
And if you're feeling a little seasick. (rise and shine)
And if you wanna get off the guilt trip. (Now's the time)
Because the captain of the Main Ship. (Rings the chime)
He could be comin' before you know Him. What are you gonna show Him?
Go hero! Standing in the gap.
Taking up the slack. Following the King's Map.
Go hero! Steady as a rock.
I know it's a shock. Yo, there be a hero.
Go hero! Standing in the gap.
Taking up the slack. Following the King's Map.
Go hero! Steady at the wheel.
Keep an even keel. Yo, there be the King's hero
Live Action Segment #8 (Closing)[]
TBA