This is the transcript for The Gong Heard 'Round the House.
Transcript
(The episode begins with Bob and Larry standing in the center of town while holding clipboards.)
Bob: Larry, is this really necessary?
Larry: You mean, do we really need a monster truck race to determine if the town shelter will be named after Mayor Archibald or Ichabeezer?
(Camera zooms out to show two monster trucks that are revving up. Archibald is in one monster truck while Ichabeezer and Rooney are in the other.)
Larry: It makes perfect sense to me.
Bob: That's what I'm worried about.
Archibald: My name deserves to go on that building, and my super-fast monster truck will prove it!
Ichabeezer: You're all talk, Mayor! When I win, it's my name that'll go on that shelter!
Bob: This is so silly.
Larry: You're holding a clipboard without hands.
Bob: You have a point. Ready, set, go!
(The monster trucks then take off as they speed through the center of town. Archibald pulls ahead of Ichabeezer.)
Archibald: You thought you'd win, but I have a secret! I dropped a turbo-charge Hemi into it over the weekend.
(Archibald pulls ahead of Ichabeezer.)
Ichabeezer: Ah, but I have a few tricks of my own! Rooney, punch the nitrous oxide, now!
(Rooney jumps below and presses a button, which causes Ichabeezer's monster truck to pull out ahead of Archibald. The monster trucks zoom past Bob and Larry, which causes them to get spun around, before both monster trucks reach the finish at the same time.)
Ichabeezer: I won, I won!
Archibald: No. I won, I won!
(Archibald and Ichabeezer then approach Bob and Larry after that.)
Archibald and Ichabeezer: Well?
Bob: By my calculations-
Archibald: Yes?!
Ichabeezer: Yeah?!
Bob: It was a perfect tie!
Archibald: I'll just have to come up with some other way to find a name for that shelter.
(Archibald gestures towards the shelter, which is nameless.)
Ichabeezer: Rip-off.
Bob: (thinking) A shelter where people can get food, comfort and rest, all in my name! (out loud) You could name it after me.
Larry: Yeah, the "Me" Shelter! That has a ring to it.
Bob: That's silly, Larry.
Archibald: No, wait! You just gave me an idea! We can name it after the most generous, helpful person in town. I'll spread the word.
Larry: That's a great idea. A whole building being named after someone. But who do we know who is generous and helpful?
Bob: Larry, you're looking at him. Don't you think the "Bob Shelter of Generosity and Hope" has a nice ring to it?
Larry: I think my bathtub has a nice ring to it.
(Bob and Larry leave, at the same time that Archibald approaches Laura, who is sweeping in front of the shelter.)
Archibald: Why, thank you, Ms. Carrot, ever so kind.
(Back home, Larry is trying to pull apart two video game controllers that got stuck together, while Bob is doing some thinking.)
Bob: I am generous. I do things for people all the time. How do I get everyone else to believe that?
(Larry still tries to pull the controllers apart, to no avail.)
Larry: Bob, I put my gum down on the controller, and then put the other controller on top of that controller, and now they're stuck together. Can I help?
(Bob quickly takes the controllers from Larry as he tries hard to pull them apart, while Larry watches.)
Bob: You will not defeat me!
(Bob finally pulls the controllers apart, as he starts juggling them, before handing them to Larry.)
Bob: There!
Larry: Thanks, Bob.
Bob: That was super generous of me, don't you think?
Larry: Hmm? I can't shrug any harder.
Bob: (frustrated) Gah!
(Bob hops off while muttering in frustration to himself, as Larry licks the gum off one of the controllers.)
Bob: That was really generous, but no one saw it. How will people know I'm generous if they can't see it? I need something that will get people's attention.
(Bob then notices a gong standing off to the side.)
Bob: Larry, is that your gong?
Larry: Well, it's not William Shakespeare's.
Bob: Uh, where did you get it?
Larry: I bought it. Or I found it in a dumpster. I can't remember.
Bob: Can I borrow it?
Larry: What if I need it?
Bob: What do you need a gong for?
Larry: For gonging. OK, take it. But remember, it's not a toy. Wait. No, it is a toy. Have fun with it.
(Bob leaves while taking the gong with him. Larry is chewing his gum before blowing a gum bubble that lifts him up into the air, as he drops the controller he was holding. Bob comes up to Pa Grape's Store while carrying the gong, before coming upon Pa Grape, who is trying to wash a window, but can't reach it, at the same time that Laura opens the door for Mom Asparagus, who is carrying a sack of groceries. Bob then approaches Pa Grape.)
Bob: Let me get that for you, Pa.
Pa Grape: Ah, thank you, Bob.
(After Bob washes the window, he throws the rag in the bucket before banging the gong, which attracts the attention of everyone.)
Bob: Everyone, if I may have your attention. I just helped Pa Grape clean his window! (bangs the gong again) I hope you remember this when it comes time to name the shelter!
(Bob then bangs the gong several more times, before coming in front of Pa Grape once again.)
Pa Grape: Uh, Bob, do you think that's what true generosity looks like? Real generosity doesn't seek attention-
Bob: Exactly!
(Bob then pokes Pa Grape in the nose with the gong stick and leaves, while Pa sighs in frustration. Ichabeezer is standing just a ways off.)
Ichabeezer: Everyone in town is going to know that Bob is the most generous. I need to find a way to let everyone know that my amazing name needs to go on that building.
Jean-Claude: We need our names on that building!
Phillipe: We need to get something... how you say, more gong-ier?
(Jean-Claude and Phillipe get an idea before they also go on their way. Phillipe approaches Larry.)
Phillipe: We will walk your pets for free!
(Camera pans out to show that Larry is carrying his guppy in a fishbowl. At the same time, Jean-Claude is walking a corn man's pet lobster.)
Jean-Claude: So helpful and kind, no?
Jean-Claude and Phillipe: Look at us! We are kind and generous pet walkers!
(Camera zooms out to show Jimmy and Jerry witnessing Jean-Claude and Phillipe's act of generosity.)
Jimmy: Wow, Jerry. They're on to something. Only it is we who are the most generous and helpful.
(Jimmy and Jerry leave after that. At Ichabeezer's home, Ichabeezer is playing a song on the piano, trying to come up with a song about his generosity.)
Ichabeezer: (singing) I'm generous, helpful
And um... humble
(There is a knock on the door.)
Ichabeezer: It's here, Rooney! I ordered a boom box that will play a loud song about my generosity that will surely put Bob's gong trick to shame.
(Ichabeezer opens the box as a small boom box falls out of the box.)
Ichabeezer: Huh... it looked much bigger online.
(Scene switches to Granny Asparagus, who is about to cross the street, when Jimmy and Jerry suddenly pick her up and carry her across the street, then put her down again, as they both pull out saxophones.)
Jimmy: Look at us be kind and generous!
(Jimmy and Jerry then leave while playing the saxophones off-key. Junior then approaches Granny afterwards.)
Junior: Here you go, Granny!
Granny: But I don't need any-
(Junior then plays the electric guitar, before Captain Mike tries to help Granny across the street.)
Captain Mike: Here, let me help you.
(Mr. Lunt shows up and pulls Granny away from Captain Mike.)
Mr. Lunt: No, let me help you. I want my name on that building!
(Madame Blueberry then comes up to Granny after that.)
Madame Blueberry: I want a turn to help. Everyone watch me help Granny Asparagus cross the street.
(Granny Asparagus falls backwards, just as pop-style music starts to play.)
Archibald: (singing) Who wants a building
With their name on it?
Who wants a building
With their name on it?
Your very own claim to fame on it
Your name written very plain on it
Lend a helping hand
To every woman, every man
And get a building
With your name on it
Mow somebody's lawn
But don't charge them any money
If someone's feeling down
Make them laugh by being funny
If you take your charity
And spread it all around
You'll earn yourself
A monument right downtown
Get a building with your name on it
A building with your name on it
Your very own claim to fame on it
Who wants a building
With their name on it?
So let your good deeds now begin
And who knows, you just might win
A building with your name on it
(The song ends, as everyone leaves to do good for others.)
Archibald: So start looking for that extra generous person!
(At Ichabeezer's home, Ichabeezer approaches a carrot delivery boy who is struggling to bring in a large box, before holding out a clipboard for Ichabeezer to sign.)
Ichabeezer: I'm not signing for this. It's still too small. I will pay you two bars of gold to deliver the biggest, most outrageous boom box ever known to vegetabledom! I mean, deliver it on a cargo helicopter! (chuckling) Got it?
(In town, Bob comes upon a corn woman who has dropped her bag of groceries, so Bob rushes over and helps the corn woman pick up her groceries. After the corn woman leaves, Bob bangs his gong, before he is taken off-guard by Madame Blueberry playing her trumpet. Bob bangs his gong again, before the sound of Jimmy and Jerry playing their saxophones off-key also waylays him. Bob bangs his gong once more, before he is also surprised by Mr. Lunt playing his drum. Frustrated, Bob goes into Pa Grape's store, while the sound of dissonant music fills the air. Bob then gets a can of root beer.)
Bob: Pa, this is awful, I just wanted people to see how generous I was.
Pa Grape: How about a trumpet?
Bob: Huh?
Pa: "So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets."
Bob: But what's that have to do with me?
Pa Grape: (sighs heavily)
(Pa Grape then scans the root beer that Bob has purchased.)
Pa Grape: You owe me a dollar fifty.
Bob: I must have left my wallet back home.
(Laura then approaches Bob and gives him a coin.)
Laura: Here you go, Bob.
Bob: Laura, I can't take this.
Laura: Take it. I want you to have it.
(Laura then leaves as Bob gives the coin to Pa Grape afterwards.)
Pa Grape: See? Like that.
(In the town center, Ichabeezer and Rooney are overseeing a helicopter deposit a large boom box as it is placed in front of Ichabeezer.)
Ichabeezer: (laughing) With this device, I'm just one small, loud step away from the Ichabeezer center becoming a reality. (laughing)
(Ichabeezer then turns on the boom box, with the volume turned up all the way, before he produces a microphone and prepares to sing.)
Ichabeezer: (singing) I want a building with my name on it
I want a building with my name on it
My very own claim to fame on it
My name written very plain on it
(The music is so loud that it ends up blowing everyone and everything across town, also knocking over the generosity shelter.)
Ichabeezer: (singing) A building with my name on it, yeah!
Pa Grape: Ichabeezer's loud music knocked the shelter over.
Ichabeezer: Hey, I was just following Bob's lead.
Larry: We could knock the rest of the world over so it would match the shelter.
Archibald: Look what we have caused.
Jimmy: We can't even use this shelter. How will we be generous now?
Bob: How will we ever lift that shelter back up?
Ichabeezer: Are you thinking...
Archibald: ...what I'm thinking?
(Archibald and Ichabeezer then smile afterwards. Later, Bob and Larry have tied two ropes to the toppled-over shelter.)
Bob and Larry: You guys ready?
(Camera pans over to Archibald and Ichabeezer in their monster trucks, which the ropes are tied to.)
Ichabeezer: Let's right this wrong.
Archibald: Punch it!
(Archibald and Ichabeezer then floor their monster trucks, preparing to pull the shelter back up, while Bob, Jimmy, and Jerry watch on. Soon, the shelter is back on its foundations once again, which everyone is happy to see. Later, everyone is straightening up the mess, while Larry approaches them while carrying a tray with cups of lemonade.)
Laura: Would you like some lemonade?
Madame Blueberry: Why, yes, Laura. Thank you.
Laura: Mayor Archibald, lemonade?
Archibald: Why, thank you, Ms. Carrot. Wait, wait! I still need a name! Who are we going to name this building after?
Captain Mike: None of us deserve it.
Jimmy: Yeah. It should definitely not be called "The Jimmy and Jerry Shelter of Jimmy and Jerry's Generous Generosity, and Also Ice Cream, Hot Dog and Donut Stand Brought To You By, Yep, You Guessed It, Jimmy and Jerry. And in addition, The Super Monster Truck Covered in Caramel Sauce and Sprinkles Shelter, For the Benefit of All Mankind to Eat More Snacks, Like Beef Jerky, Assorted Nuts, Monkey Bread and Happiness Shelter, Without Forgetting About Playing with Lots of Action Figures, Collecting Stamps, Whatever They Are, and Loving Your Mom and Dad Stuff Shelter."
(Everyone stares in silence at Jimmy.)
Jimmy: Not that I've thought about it or anything.
Archibald: There must be someone who is truly generous.
Bob: Yes, there is.
(Bob then comes up to Laura.)
Bob: Laura, whose name do you think should be on the shelter?
Laura: How about the Everybody in Town Shelter?
Bob: Perfect.
(Everyone starts cheering for the new name of the shelter, as the screen irises out, ending the episode.)