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TheEndofSillinessAlternateTitleCard

This is the episode transcript for The End of Silliness?.

This features the Nighthawks segments.

Transcript[]

(The still version of the 1997 Big Idea logo fades in and out.)

Nighthawks (Segment #1)[]

(During the aftermath of the events of Madame Blueberry, the sing-along compilation begins at an ice cream parlor that's modeled after Edward Hoppers' famous 1942 painting "Nighthawks" in a dark rainy night. Inside, we see Jimmy Gourd as a soda jerk cleaning plates behind the counter, and Larry the Cucumber, sitting and sleeping next to a glass window, alone and fidgeting. There are three almost empty sundae glasses on his table: two pink and one green. Larry appears to be sniffling and whimpering while having a nightmare of some kind. We fade into a rotating background of Green and Orange Spirals, and then his nightmare.)

Archibald Asparagus (from "His Cheeseburger" in Madame Blueberry): Ex-Ex-Ex-Excuse me, I have an announcement. (continues reading the letter) "...and as the result of the disastrous outcome of the previous silly song..."

Larry (from "The Song of the Cebu" in Josh and the Big Wall!): BOY IS RIDING WITH CEBUUUUUUUUUUU... Um... No wait. (No wait.)

Archibald (from "Song of the Cebu"): (Th-Th-) This is quite disappointing... (-disappointing... -disappointing...)

(And now, we fade back to Larry, still dreaming...)

Larry: No. No!

(...then back to his nightmare...)

Archibald (from "Cheeseburger"): Management has decided (-decided -decided...) that other performers... (-performers...)

Mr. Lunt (from "Cheeseburger"): Cause you're his cheeseburger, his yummy cheeseburger...

Archibald: Silly songs is cancelled... (Silly songs is cancelled- -is cancelled...) until further notice. (-cancelled...) Silly songs is cancelled... (-CANCELLED... -CANCELLED... -CANCELLED...)

(...and back to Larry, who's fidgeting more vigorously.)

Larry: Jibee! Jibee! Jibee! Nnnnn! Nnnnnn! No wait! Nnnnnn! Jibee! Jibee!

(Jimmy begins to take notice of Larry's strange squeaking and fidgeting.)

Larry: Nnnnnnn! Cebu! Nnnnn!

Jimmy: Hey.

Larry: Jibee!

Jimmy: Hey-hey, Mister. Mister (2x). You okay?

Larry: Jibee! Nnnnnn! Nnnn! Jibee!

Jimmy: Mister! Wake up, Mister! Mister?!

(The title "Silly Sing-Along 2: The End of Silliness?" or "The End of Silliness?: More Really Silly Songs" comes up as Jimmy rushes over to see if Larry's okay.)

(The show's theme song fades in at the point Larry starts playing the sousaphone. The lyrics appear at the bottom in yellow, which turns white on cue. The white lyrics "VeggieTales" appear on the start of the montage, that also applies to "Cauliflower", and the last "VeggieTales!". However, the last lyric fades out at the end of the song.)

Nighthawks (Segment #2)[]

(We fade back to Jimmy and Larry. Larry has an ice pack on his head. He also has a cup of tea in front of him.)

Jimmy: You had me worried there for a while, buddy. You okay?

Larry: (Sniffles) Yeah. I'm okay.

Jimmy: Well...can I getcha anything? A push-up? (Larry shakes his head) Waffle cone? (Larry shakes his head again) Cup full of sprinkles?

Larry: No. I don't need anything.

Jimmy: You, uh...wanna talk about it?

(Larry looks up then looks over at a jukebox with a TV screen.)

Larry: Does that thing work?

Jimmy: Mm-hmm.

Larry: G-7.

Jimmy: Huh?

Larry: G-7. Press G-7! (Jimmy hops over to the jukebox) It all started a while back when I was singing this song and... Well... I don't know! It just... kinda got messed up!

(Jimmy presses G-7 and the TV turns on to reveal the Silly Songs with Larry title card for "The Song of the Cebú" from "Josh and the Big Wall!", as the music starts. He hops away to the right. The camera zooms toward the TV.)

Announcer: And now it's time for Silly Songs with Larry, the part of the show where Larry comes out and sings a Silly Song.

(The shot fades to the start of the sing-along version of the song, and goes from there.)

Nighthawks (Segment #3)[]

(Once the song is done, Jimmy laughs but stops when he sees Larry's stern looking face. Larry's not wearing his ice pack anymore.)

Larry: What, do you think that's...funny?

Jimmy: Yeah! Ah... Oh. Uh... Uh, no. No. Wow. Eh, heh. That's gotta hurt.

Larry: Yeah, but it wasn't my fault! (He flops his head onto the table.) They got 'em mixed up at Foto Hut! (starts crying)

Jimmy: W-wow. It, uh... Heh. It-it happens. But-but it's not a big deal! So you messed up a song. It's not the end of the world.

(Archibald, disguised as a mysterious man, and Lovey, wearing a red dress, enter the ice cream parlor. The man's face is obscured by the turned up collar of his trench coat. The man sits down and places his briefcase on the counter.)

Jimmy: I'll be with you in a minute, folks. What you need is a little something to cheer you up. (Walks over to the jukebox again.) And- and I've got just the thing. (Presses a few buttons) There. That oughta do it.

(The TV shows the title card for "Promised Land" from "Josh and the Big Wall!", as he hops away from the jukebox.)

Jimmy: What'll it be, Mister?

(On the TV, the title card cuts to the start of the song)

Pa Grape (from "J&tBW!"): It's time?

Scooter (from "J&tBW!"): It's time?

Jimmy (from "J&tBW!"): Did he just say "It's Time?"

Percy Pea (from "J&tBW!"): We didn't have a lot of fun in the desert

We didn't have a lot of fun in the sand

Tom Grape (from "J&tBW!"): But saddle up your cow

Percy: (from "J&tBW!") It's all behind us now

All (from "J&tBW!"): Because we're going to the Promised Land!!

(The rest of the song continues on full screen.)

(Afterwards, two more songs played: "Good Morning George (The Chocolate Factory Song)" (from "Rack, Shack and Benny") and "The Thankfulness Song" (from "Madame Blueberry").)

Nighthawks (Segment #4)[]

(After those above mentioned songs, Larry sniffles a little bit.)

Larry: Yeah. Maybe I should just try to be thankful for the time I did have with my Silly Songs. (sniffs a lot) BYE SILLY SONGS! NICE KNOWING YA... (starts to sing sadly) It isn't any trouble just to S-M-I-L-E...

Jimmy: Okay. Wrong song. Bad timing. A-ah... These'll be great, you'll see. Oh! This one is so funny! (Laughs) "You're big, I'm little..." Okay, buddy. Hang on! Daddy's coming!

(The camera zooms to the TV which shows the title card for "Keep Walking" from "Josh and the Big Wall!")

Philippe Pea: O-oooh. Zat's a great idea. You go-head and keep walking!

(It fades to the footage, and the rest of the song continues from there. Afterwards two more songs play: "Big Things Too" (from Dave and the Giant Pickle") and "Stuff Mart Rap" (from "Madame Blueberry"). After the last song in this section ends, it irises out serving into...)

Nighthawks (Segment #5)[]

Jimmy: (Laughs) Oh, that cracks me up! Bungee bungee bungee-wungee-woogee-wahgee-weegee... Come on! (Laughs until he stops to notice that Larry's still not cheering up)

Larry: I hope those guys didn't get hurt falling on their heads like that. You think they got hurt?

Jimmy: Oh. Gee, buddy. I don't know. They were wearing their helmets.

Larry: Yeah. They were wearing their helmets. That's good.

Jimmy: Look. Pal. M-maybe it's none of my business, but... why are you so down? You wanna tell me what's going on?

Archibald: I'll tell you what's going on! (Turns to reveal himself. Larry looks shocked then looks at him angrily. He hops over to the jukebox.) Perhaps THIS will clear things up. (Archibald looks angrily at Larry. They both make funny faces, Archibald looks angry again and selects a song: "His Cheeseburger" from "Madame Blueberry".)

Larry: Nooooooooooooo!

(Cuts to His Cheeseburger from Madame Blueberry, without the fade-in at the start)

Nighthawks (Segment #6)[]

(After the above-mentioned song, Jimmy looks at the "Love Songs with Mr. Lunt" card on the TV screen, then turns to Archibald.)

Jimmy: (Gasps) You don't mean...?

Archibald: Yes! It's my fault! All my fault! I'm the one to blame!

(Larry gently bangs his head on the table.)

Jimmy: That's despicable!

(Larry continues to bang his head while Archibald hangs his head in shame.)

Jimmy: I'd feel that way too if somebody took my songs away!

(Larry nods in agreement)

Archibald: It's just that... I... Well... Surely you can understand my position. I was simply acting in the public's best interest. We do have standards to uphold, you know. (Jimmy looks scornfully at him) Yes. I see. Well... But then, I got these. (Opens his briefcase. Larry looks on as the rain outside stops. He pulls out a pile of papers, takes one piece of paper, and reads it out loud.) Ahem!

"We, the undersigned, believe that Archibald Asparagus should forgive and forget the "The Song of the Cebú" incident and return Silly Songs with Larry to regular Veggie programming, signed 167,512 adoring fans, including, but not limited to, the entire population of Duluth, Minnesota and even someone in Moose Lake."

Larry: (Sad for a bit. But then, he starts speaking) Moose Lake?

Archibald: Yes. Moose Lake.

Larry: (happy) Wow. Moose Lake.

Archibald: The people have spoken. I'm afraid I have no other choice but to hereby decree that Silly Songs is henceforth reinstated. Effective immediately! Which is what, I suppose, henceforth means, but no matter! Go on! Sing with all the silliness you can muster! (Hops onto the counter) Let the world know, yea unto its farthest reaches, including, but not limited to, Moose Lake, that this is not the end of silliness! No, quite the contrary. Silliness has just begun! (Slips and falls off the counter. Everyone stares at Archibald on the floor until his head pops up from behind.) But try not to be too silly. Please?

(Larry gives Archibald a thumbs up look, gets up and hops over to the jukebox. He pulls out a disc entitled "Silly Songs with Larry: The Yodeling Veterinarian of the Alps". He puts the disc in. An arm of the jukebox places the disc in the player and "The Yodeling Veterinarian of the Alps" plays as the camera pans up to reveal the "Silly Songs with Larry" title card on the TV. It fades to the song.)

(The Yodeling Veterinarian of the Alps Starts)

Quartet Singers: Mmmmmmmmm …

There lived a man so long ago his memory's but faint,

Was not admired, did not inspire like president or saint.

But people came from far and near with their afflicted pets,

For a special cure they knew for sure

Wouldn't come from other vets.

Whooooooooa …

(The camera whip pans over to a set made to look like an Alpine veterinarian’s hospital examination room. As seen in the title card, a penguin with blue feet lays on the examination table in front of his worried owner, Junior Asparagus. Looking on is Pa Grape as the nurse and Larry as the veterinarian.)

Larry: This is a song for your poor sick penguin.

He's got a fever! And his toes are blue.

But if I sing to your poor sick penguin,

He will feel better in a day or two!

Yodel-leh-hee Yodel-leh-hee Yodel-leh-hoo!

Yodel-leh-hee Yodel-leh-hee Yodel-eee-ooo!

Yodel-leh-hee Yodel-leh-hee Yodel-eee-ooo!

Ya-de Ya-de Ya-de Ya-de Ya-de-ooo!

(The penguin sneezes and spits out his thermometer.)

Pa Grape: (to Junior) He's gone a little loopy, in case you haven't heard.

Here's a couple penicillin for your sickly arctic bird.

(Pa gives Junior a bottle of penicillin. The camera whip pans back over to the Quartet.)

Quartet Singers: Mmmmmmmmm…

No skeptic could explain just how, nor could one oft rebut

The wondrous deeds that went on in that little alpine hut!

Some would stand in silence while some just scratched their scalps,

For the curious ways of the Yodeling Veterinarian of the Alps!

Whooooooooa…

(The camera whip pans back to vet’s office. Pa Grape is on the phone.)

Pa Grape: Good news on the penguin, Doc. … He's up and kicking!

(A pregnant cat is sitting on the examination table now, with its owner, Bob, looking on.)

Kitty: Meow.

Larry: This is a song for your pregnant kitty.

She's looking nauseous! And a week past due.

But if I sing to your pregnant kitty,

She will feel better in a day or two!

Yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hoo!

Yodel-leh-hee Yodel-ye-dee Yodel-dee-ooo!

Yo-didly-ayee Yo-eee-aye-ooo Yodel-aye-ooo!

Yada Yada Yada Yada Ya-ga-doo!

(The pregnant cat jerks with a slight hiss as if she felt a kitten kick in her belly.)

Pa Grape: (to Bob) Jump in your car,

Drive into the city.

Buy a jug of milk,

For your nauseated kitty.

(Pa hands Bob a coupon for milk. Camera whip pans back to the Quartet again.)

Quartet Singers: Mmmmmmmmm…

The practice grew, their profits flew,

Until one fateful day.

When the nurse who did assist the doc

Asked for a raise in pay.

The doctor pondered this a while,

Sat back and scratched his scalp.

Then said:

Larry: No way, Jose!

Quartet Singers: To the Nurse of the Yodeling Veterinarian of the Alps!

Whooooooooa…

(The camera whip pans back to the vet’s office. Pa Grape is on the phone again, this time much more perturbed.)

Pa Grape: Good news on the kitty Doc. ... She's feelin' great … 6 kittens … named one after you …

(The camera pulls back to reveal a large grizzly bear covered in bear traps sitting on the examination table, with his owner, Percy, looking on. The bear roars.)

Larry: This is a song for your bear-trapped teddy.

He looks uncomfy, think I'd be too.

But if I sing to your bear-trapped teddy,

He will feel better in a day or two.

Yodel-leh-hee Yodel-leh-hee Yodel-leh-hoo!

Yodel-yeh-hee O-la-hee Oly-ooo!

Yodel-leh-hee Yodel-leh-hoo Layo-lay-hoo!

Yodel-leh-hee Yaba-daba Yaba-doo!

(The bear looks to the camera, unimpressed. He roars out in anger and pain.)

Pa Grape: Oh yeah … That'll work. … He's good.

(The bear continues to roar over Larry’s yodeling.)

Larry: Yodel-leh-hee! Yodel-leh-hoo!

No, wait, this should work …

Yodel-leh-hee! Yodel-leh-hoo! Yodel-leh-hoo!

Ooo! Yodel-hoo!

(The camera slowly pans to the Quartet as crashing and smashing noises are heard offscreen.)

Quartet Singers: Mmmmmmmmm…

Now the moral of our story,

It's the point we hope we've made …

When you go a little loopy —

Better keep your nurse well paid!

(Larry runs back and forth in front of the Quartet being chased by the bear.)

Larry: Yodel-leh-hee!

Yodel-leh-hoo!

Yodel odle odle aye de

Aye de ooo-ooo-ooo!

Quartet Singers: Oh!

Some would stand in silence while some just scratched their scalps,

For the curious ways of the Yodeling Veterinarian of the Alps!

(The Quartet Singers grinned together after they finished singing, as the camera pulls out to reveal the entire set-in shambles. Then, the Quartet Singers stared at the window and Larry is seen behind the debris, still running from the bear.)

Larry: Yodel-hoo!

(Iris out.)

(end of transcript)

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