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The Cook Who Cannot Cook is a song from the VeggieTales in the House episode, Chef Larry. It is sung by Larry the Cucumber.


Larry: I'm the cook who cannot cook

But that really is okay

I'll just let Bob do all the cookin'

I'm the cook who cannot cook

I'll get the glory anyway

Cuz in my chef's hat

I'm so good lookin'

I don't know a fritter from frittata

Can't a make a pizza, or a pancake

Or tostada

And I'm not ready

To make spaghetti

Can't tell a crepe from an enchilada

So let Bob do the work

Let him sweat and let him strain

And even do the grocery shoppin'

I'm the cook who cannot cook

To keep it straight it's just a pain

Is it "al dente" or "au gratin"?

I'll write a famous cookbook

Just you wait and see

Containing all of Bob's

Greatest recipes

And I'll autograph

Each copy of my book

By the cook who cannot cook