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TheCampOutTitleCard

This is the transcript for The Camp Out.

Transcript[]

(Scene opens where Bob, Larry, Petunia, Madame Blueberry, and Ichabeezer are gathered around next to the lake for a camp out.)

Bob: Welcome, everyone, to my first annual S'more-a-thon. I brought enough to go around, so just share the sticks and dig in.

(Everyone jumps Bob and clamors around him to get the s'mores.)

All: Gimme, gimme, gimme!

(Bob gets thrown in the air, as does the box where the s'mores were kept.)

Bob: Guys!? Guys, where's all the s'more stuff!?

(The empty box lands in front of Bob, much to his surprise. Petunia toasts several marshmallows over the fire. Madame Blueberry is about to bite into a s'more while Bob can only watch in horror, while Larry and Ichabeezer also help themselves to the s'mores. Bob is even more frustrated.)

Bob: My smo-o-o-ores!!

Narrator: One year later...

(Bob wakes up when the alarm clock on his cell phone goes off at 4:00 in the morning, before coming downstairs to go camping.)

Bob: Ha ha! Good morning, world! Are you ready for a campout? I sure am!

(Bob is about to go out the door, when Larry also comes downstairs.)

Larry: (yawns) Why are we waking up so early?

Bob: I'm going on my annual campout.

Larry: Oh, yeah! S'more-a-thon! I'll pack.

Bob: No, no. I'm camping alone. You were gonna play pirates with Bacon Bill today. You should get back to sleep.

Larry: I should? No s'mores?

Bob: Yep. Now I gotta get going, so I can reserve the best spot at the campground. See ya.

(Bob leaves the house, leaving Larry all alone.)

Larry: Who eats s'mores alone?

(Bob drives along until parking at a good spot at the campsite.)

Bob: Ahh. Fresh air. (inhales) Peace, quiet, tranquility. Ha ha. This is the life.

(Bob gets the campsite all set up, as well as bringing out the box of s'more ingredients.)

Bob: Aha. Just you and me this year, s'mores. Just you and me. I should get some firewood.

(Bob goes off to collect firewood while humming to himself, as he picks a flower and sniffs it.)

Bob: Ohh. Ha ha. Ooh, nice. (inhales) Ahh.

(Bob returns to the campsite while carrying a bundle of firewood, before Larry shows up wearing an eyepatch.)

Larry: Yarr, Tomatey!

Bob: Aah! What are you doing here, Larry? You had a pirate day all set up with Bacon Bill at our house.

Bacon Bill: Yarr! I be here, too.

Bob: What happened to the plan?

Larry: Well, the plan was great until you said the word "camping," and then all I could think about was s'mores. You did bring s'mores, right?

(Bacon Bill brings out the box of s'more ingredients, but Bob takes it back from him.)

Bob: I told you, I'm camping alone this year.

Larry: Like, all-by-your-lonesome alone?

Bob: Yes, all by my lonesome. People camp alone all the time.

Larry: I don't think they do, especially with s'mores. S'mores are a sharing food. What's that verse you quote when you want me to share my pizza?

Bob: That's Hebrews 13:16, but-

Larry: Yeah, that one. "God is pleased when we share with others."

Bob: Yeah, well, I'm camping alone, so there's no one to share with. Just me, myself and s'mores.

(Bob starts to leave while taking his campsite with him.)

Larry: I guess you'd better tell Madame Blueberry and Petunia.

(Bob bumps into a stack of suitcases.)

Bob: Why? (shrieks)

(Bob is surprised when he finds Madame Blueberry and Petunia who are also camping.)

Bob: What are you two doing in my spot?

Petunia and Madame Blueberry: Camping!

Bob: Can't you do that somewhere else?

Madame Blueberry: Why would we do that? Who camps alone.

Petunia: Yeah. Don't you want to share s'mores later?

(Bob is even more flustered and angry as he drags his campsite with him once again, going into the bushes, before finding another spot far away from the others. Bob sets up his camp chair and sets up his tent again, getting thrown off when it springs up, before crashing off-screen, then comes back with some leaves and twigs on him and shakes them off, before he takes the box of s'more ingredients from the tent.)

Bob: (sighs) Well, this spot may not be as good, but-

(The sound of a falling object is heard, which Bob is surprised and frustrated.)

Bob: Oh, come on!

(The item turns out to be Ichabeezer's gold-plated monster truck.)

Ichabeezer: Coming through! What a perfect spot for bird-watching.

(Ichabeezer throws a few items out from his monster truck in front of Bob, before Ichabeezer comes up to him while looking through some binoculars.)

Bob: Ichabeezer, you're in my spot.

Ichabeezer: Aah!

Bob: Ichabeezer?

Ichabeezer: Shh, hold on...

(Bob becomes surprised when he sees Rooney in the box of s'more ingredients.)

Bob: (gasps) No, Rooney! Bad dog!

(Bob tries to take the box back from Rooney.)

Bob: Drop it! Bad dog, Rooney!

(The box flies out from Bob's grasp, causing him to fall backwards.)

Bob: Huh! Fine.

(Bob starts to leave again, before Larry and Bacon Bill approach him again.)

Larry: Aye, me Tomatey! Join us on a treasure hunt

(Bacon Bill shows Bob a map as Bob looks at it.)

Bob: This map doesn't make any sense. Where in the backyard is the treasure definitely not?

Larry: Um, I guess... that way?

Bob: Well, then that's exactly where I'll be camping, where no one can get to my s'mores.

(Bob leaves, while Larry and Bacon Bill look at the map.)

Bacon Bill: Hmm. Maybe it's actually over there.

Larry: Oh, yeah, whoops. Let's go.

Bacon Bill: Aye, follow that map at every turn!

(Larry and Bacon Bill leave, before two Radishes dressed as pirates come out from the bushes afterwards.)

Radish #1: Did you hear that?

Radish #2: Yarr! And Captain Tato will be pleased.

(The Radishes leave after that. Bob is still taking his campsite with him, before becoming surprised when he meets with Larry and Bacon Bill again who are still looking at the map.)

Bob: I thought the map didn't lead over here.

Bacon Bill: Honestly! Ha ha! It's not even a real map. I was just pretending to follow it for fun.

Bob: (cries)

(Bob retreats behind some rocks to get away from the others. After looking around a bit, Bob starts to set up camp again, before he suddenly finds himself roped by Ichabeezer.)

Ichabeezer: Sorry, I thought you were an elk.

(Bob busts out of the rope in frustration.)

Bob: Aah! Aaah!

(Rooney starts chasing after Bob, who climbs up a rock to escape Rooney. Larry and Bacon Bill pop out from behind the rock again.)

Bacon Bill: Hey there! Yo ho, homey!

Bob: Aah! I just want to camp alone!

(Bob rolls off the rock and falls to the ground below. It is now night, as Bob finds another camping spot, looking around to see if anyone is around or not.)

Bob: Hello? Hello, anybody?

(There is no answer, as Bob becomes happy before bringing out the box of s'more ingredients.)

Bob: Hear that? Complete silence. Finally, we're all alone.

(Bob has gotten a campfire started as he toasts a marshmallow over the fire.)

Bob: Time for the second annual S'more-a-thon. Guest of honor, me! (laughing)

(Scene switches to Motato and the Radishes traveling through the night.)

Motato: Show me to this tomato with abundant s'mores you told me of.

Radish #1: There, Captain Tato, beyond the bushes.

(Bob is seen at his campsite toasting the marshmallow over the fire. Motato and the Radishes hide in the bushes then peek out.)

Motato: There he is, camping all alone.

Radish #1: Aye, an easy target.

Radish #2: Hogging all the s'mores for himself.

Motato: (chuckles) Not for long.

(Bob is about to take a bite out of a s'more that he made, when Motato and the Radishes jump out from the bushes and run out at him, which surprises him.)

All: Yarr!

Bob: Aah! What? Who? Aah!

(The Radishes run out at Bob.)

Motato: Ah, get me those s'mores, you scurvy barnacles!

(Bob picks up his things and runs away with the Radishes still chasing after him.)

Bob: Aah! No! You'll never get my s'mores!

(Bob throws his suitcase and lawn chair at the Radishes to slow them.)

Bob: Ha ha! Take that! Oof!

(Bob bumps into Motato, causing the box of s'more ingredients to get thrown into the air, until getting caught by Motato.)

Motato: (laughing) Delicious s'mores, all for me-e-e-e!

(The Radishes bump Bob out of the way before they approach Motato.)

Radish #1: Yarr, and for us.

Motato: No, just me.

(Motato and the Radishes leave while the carrying of s'more ingredients, which Bob is frustrated about.)

Bob: No! My s'mo-o-o-ores! (sobbing)

(Scene switches to the next morning, where Larry, Bacon Bill, Petunia, Madame Blueberry, and Ichabeezer are enjoying the morning.)

Ichabeezer: What a glorious day, huh?

(Ichabeezer looks through his binoculars again, before seeing something.)

Ichabeezer: Ooh! I think I see a red-crested... (Cut through the binoculars shot to see Bob looking rather dizzy and disoriented) It's... Bob?

All: (gasps)

(Bob is still staggering around rather dizzily, when the others approach him.)

Madame Blueberry: Bob, what happened?

Bob: Pirates!

Larry: (confused) Wait, what?

Bob: Pirates, real ones. They took my s'mores. My whole trip is ruined, just like last year! I didn't get any s'mores, not one, and now I won't again. (sobbing)

(The others crowd around Bob to comfort him.)

Madame Blueberry: But, Bob, you invited everyone.

Bob: Yeah, and everyone ate my s'mores, leaving me with nothing.

Larry: And that's why you wanted to camp and eat s'mores alone.

Bob: I promised myself I'd never share my s'mores again.

Madame Blueberry: We are so sorry, Bob.

Bob: It's okay. I should've shared. I tried to camp and eat s'mores all alone. Who does that? It was miserable.

Larry: It's not right that those pirates just ran off with all the s'mores.

Bacon Bill: (takes off his hat) Poor s'mores.

Ichabeezer: I say we get 'em back!

(Ichabeezer looks through his binoculars to see Motato and the Radishes carrying the box of s'more ingredients.)

Ichabeezer: There are only three of them. There's seven of us.

Bacon Bill: What are we gonna do? Fight 'em?

Bob: Would you guys really face pirates for me?

Ichabeezer: Well, I'd do it for s'mores, anyway.

Bob: I have an idea. First of all, we need eye patches.

Madame Blueberry: Got 'em.

Bob: Perfect. Bacon Bill, I need your map.

(Bacon Bill tosses the map to Bob, who catches it.)

Bob: Everybody, come in close. Here's my plan. First, what we're gonna do... (whispers)

(Scene switches to Motato watching the Radishes trying to get a fire started.)

Motato: How much longer until my s'more-cooking fire is prepared?!

Radish #1: Not long, Captain Tato.

Radish #2: Almost got it.

Bob: (O.S.) You call them s'mores?

Motato: Who dares to insult my s'mores?!

(Camera whip pans to show Bob, Larry, Bacon Bill, Petunia, Madame Blueberry, and Ichabeezer dressed as pirates.)

Bob: Captain Mato! And this be my merry band of campin' pirates.

Motato: Pirates, eh? I know every pirate there is, and I've never seen any of you before.

Bob: That's because we come from a land far here, the Isle of S'moria.

Radish #1: The Isle of S'moria?

Bob: Aye, the Isle of S'moria.

(Music starts playing, as the group starts to sing.)

All: (singing) The Isle, the Isle

The Isle of S'moria

Bacon Bill: Starboard north to port cow

Avert your eyes that-a-way

Bob: (singing) I'll tell you the tale

Of an awesome place

Where pirates love to feed their face

With s'mores they gorge

And every taste

Brings them great euphoria

Graham cracker sands

And chocolate shores

Mountain fields of yummy s'mores

And all of this

It can be yours

On the Isle of S'moria

All: (singing) The Isle, the Isle

The Isle of S'moria

Bob: (singing) So set sail me lads

For a land we found

With s'mores enough to go around

It's something rare

No need to share

There's plenty of 'em for ya

Not far away's your big reward

Where pirates never need to hoard

You're headin' toward

A s'morgasbord

The Isle of S'moria

All: (singing) The Isle, the Isle

The Isle of S'moria

The Isle, the Isle

The Isle of S'moria

Motato: We must go to the Isle of S'moria.

Radish #2: How do we get there?

Bob: The way to the Isle of S'moria is a secret known by s'mortals few.

Motato: You will tell me!

Petunia: Don't tell me, Captain Tom. It's wouldn't be s'moral.

Madame Blueberry: Aye, there are not good s'moritans.

Motato: (groans) You will tell me or I will roast you all like marshmallows!

Radish #1: There! The bacon pirate hoards the path to s'mores!

(The first Radish jumps Bacon Bill and takes the map from him, and gives it to Motato.)

Motato: We have it, the way to the Isle of S'moria!

Bob: Oh, no! Not our map!

Motato: Radishes, set sail. The Isle of S'moria awaits us in all its s'morey glory!

(Motato and the Radishes leave while following the fake map.)

Larry: Bob, you did it! I never knew you were so good at playing pirates.

Bob: We all did it. Thanks for helping me get my s'mores back, guys. Hey, Larry, what was the verse I always quote when I want you to share pizza with me?

Larry: Hebrews 13:16? "When we share, it pleases God."

Bob: Well, there's plenty of s'mores here to go around. Who wants to join me for the second annual S'more-a-thon?

Ichabeezer: Yeah, now you're talkin', Tomato.

Bacon Bill: Whoo! Count me in!

(Everyone leaves to go have s'mores, as the screen irises out on a pirate map that reads "The End".)

(End of transcript)

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