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This is the episode transcript for The Ballad of Little Joe.


Opening Countertop[]

Bob: Hi, kids, and welcome to VeggieTales! I'm Bob the Tomato.

Larry: And I'm Larry the Cucumber!

Bob: And we're here to answer your questions.

Larry: Yep!

Bob: Now this week we got a letter from Pete McGuinness in New Castle, Indiana.

Larry: Hey, Pete!

Bob: Pete writes:

"Dear Bob and Larry,
I'm depressed. All my friends are in Mrs. Peterson's class, but I got stuck in Mr. Schubert's class. If God loves me, why do bad things happen?
Your friend, Pete."

Wow, that's a tricky one!

Larry: Sure is!

Bob: Well, Pete, I know a Bible story that I think could help you a lot.

Larry: Uhh... Bob?

Bob: Yeah?

Larry: I thought we were gonna do a Western this time.

Bob: A what?

Larry: A Western! You know, with cowboys and tumbleweeds and little dogies... you promised me we could right before I went to cowboy camp!

Bob: (chuckles nervously) I think what Pete needs here is a Bible story. Larry...

Larry: You promised, Bob!

Bob: "Promise?" Did I really say... "promise?"

Larry: (annoyed) Yes you did, Bob.

Bob: I really think we need to do a Bible story.

Larry: A Western, Bob!

Bob: A Bible story!

Larry: (angrily and more emphasis) A Western, Bob!

Bob: (about to speak when he realizes that kids are still watching them) Can we have a second?

(A "technical difficulties" screen comes down as we hear Bob and Larry arguing about whether to do a Western or a Bible story. After several seconds, the screen comes back up.)

Bob: (clears throat) Well, after a bit of discussion, Larry and I have decided that what you really need, Pete, is a Western...Bible story.

Larry: That's right!

Bob: So, without further ado...

Larry: The Ballad of Little Joe!

The Ballad of Little Joe Act I[]

(We see a view of a desert going into the Okie-Dokie Corral.)

Bob: (narrating) A long, long time ago, way out in the West somewhere...

Larry: (to Bob) That's right, "the West"!

Bob: (continues narrating) ...there lived a group of brothers.

(We see more of Okie-Dokie Corral, which is where we see peas and sheep residing in.)

Larry: Cowboy brothers!

Bob: (to Larry) Uh, right. "Cowboy brothers."

Reuben (Phillipe): Hello, little dogies!

Larry: With French accents.

Bob: (to Larry) What?

Larry: It's a French Western.

Bob: (to Larry) Uh...okay (narrates) Anyway, there was Rueben...

Reuben (Phillipe): (chuckles)

Bob: ...Simeon...

Simeon: Pleasure!

Bob: ...Levi...

Levi: Yadi!

Bob: ...Izzy..

Izzy: (chuckles)

Bob: ...Zeb...

Zeb: Biadoo!

Bob: ...Gad...

Gad: Yessah!

Bob: ...Ash...

Ash: Yahoo!

Bob: ...Dan...

Dan: Debideaux!

Bob: ...Natty...

Natty: Et toi!

Bob: Oh...and Jude.

Brothers: Hey, Jude!

Jude (Jean-Claude): (uninterested) Hey.

Bob: (narrating) And then there was Baby Ben, but he was too little to come outside.

Baby Ben: (crying)

(As this happens, everybody looks annoyed.)

Bob: Oh, and one more...

(Little Joe, played by Larry, comes out of their house)

Bob: ...Little Joe.

(Little Joe looks proudly at the camera before approaching his brothers)

Jude: Look who finally decided to get up.

Little Joe (Larry): Hey, guys! Wait 'til you hear about the crazy dream I had last night!

Jude: Quiet, Little Joe! We are working here!

Joe: Oh. Right.

Bob: (narrating) Little Joe was a little different than the others. Besides talking differently, God had given him great organizational abilities!

Jude: You should see his sock drawer.

(Some sheep jump over a fence.)

Little Joe: What kind of work are you doing, exactly?

Reuben: We must count our sheep, but every time we do…

(Some of Little Joe's brothers become tired and sleepy.)

Little Joe: Well, maybe it wouldn't be so boring if you put the sheep in groups of 5 or 10. Then you'd just have to count the groups. I bet you'd have your work done in no time.

Reuben: What a ridiculous idea!

Jude: You know nothing about sheep! ... (quietly to his other brothers) Put them in groups of 10.

Little Joe: So, can I tell you about my dream now?

Pa Grape: (rings a triangle) Come and get it!

(Little Joe's brothers get excited and run towards the house. The sheep are put into a group, as per Little Joe's idea. They all look towards the matter. In the house, a pancake is served as everybody except Little Joe runs in and grabs their forks.)

Pa Grape: Not so fast, fellas! Before we eat, I have a special announcement. I think we all know that today is Little Joe's birthday! (When he speaks, Little Joe is feeding Baby Ben.)

Little Joe: Oh, Pa!

(Mr. Lunt enters with a cake.)

Mr. Lunt: I baked it myself.

Pa Grape: All together!

(Mr. Lunt puts the cake down on the table as Little Joe comes by. Now, in the song Happy Ki-Yi Birthday...)

Brothers: Yippie ki yay ki yay

Today is a special day.

Yippie ki yay ki yoo

Today we celebrate you-hoo-hoo

Little Joe, Little Joe, take a bow.

Mr. Lunt: Look, I made a frosted cow!

Brothers: Little Joe, Little Joe, give it a rest

Jude: (rather angrily) We all know Pa likes you zee best!

Pa, Lunt & Brothers: Yippie ki yay ki yay

Happy ki-yi birthday, hey!

Little Joe: Awww…you shouldn't have!

Jude: Finally, we agree on something!

(Pa Grape hands Little Joe a present.)

Little Joe: Huh? For me? (He unwraps the present and gets a multicolored vest.)

Pa Grape: What are you waiting for? Try it on!

Jude: What do we get for our birthday presents?

Reuben: Mittens!

(Joe walks around, showing off his vest)

Pa Grape: Little Joe is wearing a vest made from the finest calf hides! Perfect for ridin' the range or goin' a-courtin', this is one vest that says, Look at me! I'm something special!

Reuben: (to Jude) And what do mittens say?

Jude: They say, You're not as special as your brother!" (As he says this, he throws a pair of mittens on the antlers of the moose on the wall.

(Little Joe blows out the candle on his birthday cake.)

Little Joe: And for my birthday wish, I want to tell you all about my latest dream! It was the strangest thing!

(In Little Joe's dream, we see the night sky.)

Little Joe: Past the mountains, in the field

where the cowboys practice...

(The screen zooms out to reveal the desert. Twelve cacti start walking around.)

Little Joe: ...out beneath the desert sky

stood a dozen cactus!

(A cactus resembling Larry walks around as well. Cut back to Little Joe.)

Little Joe: Cactuses? Cacti? Khaki?

Reuben: Continue.

(Fade back to the cacti walking around.)

Little Joe: Eleven cactus, those were you,

Gathered 'round the other.

They bowed, you see…

…to the one that was me!

Their dearest little brother!

(Fade back to Little Joe.)

Little Joe: Their dearest little brother! Crazy, huh?

Jude: What are you saying? That you will rule over us?! Like a king?!

Pa Grape: (chuckles) It was just a dream, right? It's not gonna really happen. (chuckles) Ah, maybe you should cut down on the bratwurst before bed, huh?

Bob: (narrating) Needless to say, Joseph's dreams didn't make his brothers like him any better.

(Fade to Little Joe and his brothers going to an abandoned mineshaft.)

Little Joe: Hey, why are we at this old, abandoned mineshaft?

Jude: (to Little Joe) Uhhh…this is where we hid your birthday present.

Little Joe: Wow! Very, uh, creative.

Jude: (to Little Joe) It's time to get what you've got coming to you!

Little Joe: Oh, I can't wait!

(Little Joe looks surprised before he looks in the mine shaft. He looks confused a little while afterwards.)

Little Joe: I don't see a birthday present.

Jude: You are not looking hard enough!

Little Joe: Okay. No, I still don't see anything.

Jude: Well then, how about now?!

(Little Joe suddenly gets pushed in the mine shaft.)

Little Joe: Whoooooa! Uh, guys... a goat must have bumped me or something. A little help?

Jude: We'd like to, but we're busy bowing down before you.

(Little Joe's brothers laugh)

Little Joe: Hey guys, this isn't funny.

Jude: Really? It made me laugh.

(They laugh again, a desperado appears)

Little Joe: Hey, who's that? What are you guys doing? Come on, joke's over. Ha, ha, real funny. Guys? Guys?

Scallion #2: (he throws the rope) Tie this around your middle!

Little Joe: Who are you?

Scallion #2: Never you mind. Just tie the rope.

(He is lifted out of the mine shaft)

Little Joe: Well, finally. (Sees the desperadoes.) Oh, dear. (He is suddenly dragged out of the cave, and his hat falls off and back into it.)

(They tie him while he lies on the ground)

Little Joe: Hey! Desperadoes! You better come to your senses!

(They muffle him with a bandana, throw him on the wooden wheeled horse and toss the money to Jude)

Jude: Happy trails, dreamer!

(he and his brothers laugh as Little Joe is carried away)

Bob: (narrating) Little Joe didn't know where he was, or where he was going. He'd never been away from the Ranch before, and now here he was, on the run with dangerous men!

Little Joe: (O.S.) Uh, Mr. Desperado, did you put out the campfire last night?

(The map is suddenly burned, like in a classic Western film.) (The camera heads through the fire portal to black screen, a caption reading "One Year Later" is shown, then fades into Dodge Ball City, where we see a carrot dodging three dodgeballs before getting hit by a fourth ball. We cut to a saloon called "Rootin' Tootin' Pizza Place" where Little Joe has been working for a year.)

Customers: Oh, Joe!

Little Joe!

Another root beer over here,

a cherry slushy over there

check out the game of checkers by the door,

make sure they're playin' fair!

McPotipher: A year ago, my restaurant was goin' down the drain!

Ah, me! Losin' money left and right, I thought I'd go insane!

Cuckoo, cuckoo!

Then, Little Joe, he came along and made the whole ship right,

it's been a month of Sundays since we last had a fight!

(Before two carrots can fight over a single pizza slice with ketchup and mustard bottles, Little Joe gives them a new pizza.)

Customers: To Little Joe! (2x)

When life hands you a lemon

McPotipher: Just have some more root beer!

Customers: When life hands you a lemon,

just have some more root beer!

To Little Joe!

McPotipher: Ah, Joe, me boy, it looks like another record month!

(Piano music is heard playing as he gets an idea)

Little Joe: Sorry, duty calls! (he becomes a peanut vendor, the curtain opens to show Miss Kitty, played by Madame Blueberry, on stage)

Miss Kitty: My life is a disaster.

A sea of endless pain.

A picnic promising the sun,

but bringing only rain.

So, listen to my tale of woe,

Before we bid adieu!

It's why my heart is heavy.

That's why I'm so blue!

(Two of the customers are shown crying.)

Little Joe: Peanuts! Get your hot roasted peanuts!

Cowboy: Over here, I’ll take one!

Miss Kitty: Life is a joke, a trifle, a folly.

Even my dog is a melon-collie (melancholy).

My happy days are through.

That's why I'm so blue!

That's why I'm b-

Little Joe: Peanuts! Get your hot roasted peanuts! Get ‘em while they’re hot!

Miss Kitty: I'm through! (she hops off the stage)

Little Joe: Boy, that song's getting shorter every week. (he tosses the money to McPotipher) Here you go, boss. Oh, and by the way, the peanuts make them thirsty, so get ready to sell the root beer.

McPotipher: You're a natural, me lad. And that's why you've earned this. (picks up the picture of Little Joe, then puts it under the "Employee of the Month" label, takes down Miss Kitty's picture.) I wasn't sure if you'd work out when I bought you from those Desperados, but congratulations!

Little Joe: "Employee of the Month"? Oh, thank you, Mr. McPotipher! I won't let you down, you'll see. From now on, I'll work harder than ever!

(Miss Kitty sees the picture of herself on the floor, then hops to Little Joe)

Miss Kitty: Say, Joseph.

Little Joe: Oh, hello, Kitty.

Miss Kitty: (sternly) That's Miss Kitty to you.

Little Joe: Whatever you say.

Miss Kitty: Look, Little Joe, don't be a sap. No one's looking. Take this money and get out of here.

Little Joe: Why would I do that? (he hops to one of customer's table, Miss Kitty follows him)

Miss Kitty: You and I both know you don't want to be here. With this much cash, you can get back home.

Little Joe: I'm sorry, Miss Kitty, but stealing is wrong. If I took that money, I'd be disobeying God. Not to mention, I'd probably lose my status as "Employee of the Month". Good day, Miss Kitty.

(Miss Kitty growls in frustration. Little Joe hops over to the cash register, Miss Kitty follows him again)

Miss Kitty: To show you there's no hard feeling about you-know-what, I made some alterations to your costume for you.

Little Joe: Oh, well that's really kind of you. But I wasn't aware that it was... (she places a cow costume hat on his head, stuffed) It's a tad heavier than before! (he falls over)

Miss Kitty: I put some extra stuffing in it. Thief! (everyone gasps, then prepares to fight) There's a thief among us!

Sheriff Bob: (he enters the saloon) Alright. What seems to be the trouble here?

Miss Kitty: This man has been stealing from dear old McPotipher since the day he got here.

Sheriff Bob: Little Joe?

(she takes off the cow costume hat, which was full of coins)

Little Joe: This does not look good.

(They both gasp. McPotipher changes the picture back to Miss Kitty.)

McPotipher: (saddened) Joe, me lad, How could you?

Sheriff Bob: (angry) What do you have to say for yourself?

Little Joe: (nervously) I'm innocent?

Sheriff Bob: Tell it to the judge!

(he takes Little Joe to jail. Cut to night where we see him in a prison suit before the camera fades out)

Belly Button[]

Larry: (to audience) Hi, everyone. This is Larry. Normally, this would be the time when the narrator comes on and says, "And now it's time for Silly Songs with Larry. The part of the show where Larry comes out and sings a Silly Song." But I've been thinking...and talking with the guys.

Mr. Lunt: And we've decided it's time to broaden our scopes, artistically.

Jimmy Gourd: Yeah, we're artists!

Junior: Word up! (photographer offscreen takes picture of Boyz in the Sink)

Larry: There's a time to be silly... (cuddles with manatee and throws it away) ... and there's a time to be serious.

Mr. Lunt: It's time to open up your heart...

Jimmy Gourd: And show how you feel, artistically! (Photographer offscreen takes picture of Boyz in the Sink again)

Mr. Lunt: Cause we all have something to share...

(Boyz walk through hall and into waiting room) (nurse leads Mr. Lunt to office) (Jimmy Gourd sits on sofa) (Junior is also sitting on sofa reading a magazine) (Larry is looking around) (Mr. Lunt sits on examining bed)

Mr. Lunt: (singing) Baby, I know your eyes see right through my disguise.

BoyzAnd no one can deny.

Mr. LuntBaby, that I'm the one whose love is no surprise.

BoyzAnd he can't tell you no lie.

Mr. LuntBut there's a secret I've been hidin', I can't keep it no more.

(Disco ball suddenly pops out of nowhere in waiting room)

BoyzThere's this thing about himself he's never told you before!

Mr. LuntBaby!

(The Boyz are suddenly transported to a bright room filled with spotlights and are wearing bright, fancy clothes) (The Boyz dance around Mr. Lunt on a giant podium)

BoyzHe needs to tell you something!

Mr. LuntI don't got a belly button!

BoyzNo belly button!

Mr. LuntOh, I need to tell you something!

BoyzHave you figured out he don't got a belly button?

Mr. Lunt & BoyzBelly button, no! Oh, no no!

(The Boyz are transported back to the hospital. Nurse prepares and approaches Mr. Lunt with a blood pressure taker pump)

Mr. LuntBaby, please don't squeal. Just tell me how you feel.

BoyzCause his love is for real.

(Nurse squeezes Mr. Lunt with the pump)

Mr. Lunt: (Voice breaking) And if you went away, my heart would never heal.

BoyzSo, to you, he appeals.

(Cut to Mr. Lunt, who is now quite large, throbbing in pain)

Mr. LuntThere's something missing in my middle, and it's hard to ignore.

(Mr. Lunt's body is now being pumped like a balloon and is now extremely massive and dilated, but the nurse continues to blow him up) (The Boyz appear out of nowhere from around the exam table)

BoyzThere's this thing about himself he's never told you before!

(Mr. Lunt is now severely inflated and is struggling)

Mr. LuntBaby!

(The Boyz are now transported into a flashy tube hall full of lights) (noticeably, the hoops are in the shape of Jerry Gourd)

BoyzHe needs to tell you something!

Mr. LuntI don't got a bellybutton!

BoyzBelly button!

Mr. LuntOh, I need to tell you something!

BoyzHave you figured out? He don't got a bellybutton!

Mr. Lunt & BoyzBellybutton, no! Oh, no no!

(Boyz walks into office) (Dr. Khalil comes in)





(Khalil slides on the stool and onto the bed next to Mr. Lunt)

KhalilYou say your bellybutton's missing?

There's no reason for alarm.

It's a common thing for gourds.

It won't (with Boyz) do you any harm!

You're technically a fruit.

And with that much being said,

(Khalil pull out gourd anatomy poster)

your umbilical equivocal is up there on your head!

You could ask for a prosthetic,

but of course, you'd have to know.

It'd be covered by your (with Boyz) Shirt!

But not your HMO!

BoyzBellybutton! (Nurse comes in with broom)



KhalilUh-uh! (Nurse chases Boyz & Dr. Khalil out of office with a broom)

Mr. LuntA stylish something absent from my midriff's décor.

BoyzThere's this thing about himself he's never told you before!

Mr. LuntBaby!

BoyzHe needs to tell you something!

Mr. LuntI don't got a bellybutton!!!!

BoyzBelly button!

Mr. LuntOh, I need to tell you something!

BoyzHave you figured out? He don't got a bellybutton!

Mr. Lunt & BoyzBellybutton, no! Oh, no no!

Mr. Lunt & BoyzNo bellybutton!

(nurse leaves office angrily and tosses her clipboard and pen)

Mr. Lunt: Do I at least get a lollipop?

The Ballad of Little Joe Act II[]

(fade back to the jail as another year has passed)

Baker and Blacksmith: Oh Joe.

Oh, Little Joe!

You put more stuffing in our cots,

the furnace is rebuilt,

you taught us to respect ourselves

and even how to quilt!

Sheriff Bob: A year ago, my little jail was busting at the seams.

Criminals both left and right were stacked up to the beams!

Then Little Joe, he came along and taught 'em all a trade.

And I just bought a Stetson with the money that he's made!

Little Joe: A year ago, Miss Kitty up and sent me off to jail.

And though I haven’t done a thing, I’m stuck here without bail.

But my belief that God is good helps overcome frustration,

so I’ll be doing what is right despite incarceration.

(the cell closes as he smiles)

Sheriff Bob: Ha-ha-ha! I've got to hand it over to you, you've got the best attitude of any prisoner I've ever had.

Little Joe: God is good, Sheriff Bob. So, what have I got to be down about?

Sheriff Bob: Well, if God is really good, why is all this stuff happening to you?

Little Joe: I don't know that yet. But I will, when it's time. I just need to keep doing what's right.

Sheriff Bob: Heh. All right, men, lights out! Another day of quilting tomorrow! (he turns off the oil lamp)

(scene fades in where the Baker and the Blacksmith are asleep)

Baker and Blacksmith: (mumbling in sleep before they wake up screaming)

(cuts to city as lights turn on, then cut to a prospector (played by Charlie Pincher) roasting a hot dog, when an avalanche of dodgeballs rains down on him)

Baker: And that's when I woke up screaming. What does my dream mean, Joe?

Blacksmith: And mine too. What do they mean?

Little Joe: Well, there's good news and there's bad news. (to Baker) You're going back to work today! (to Blacksmith) But you're being sent up the river. (to Baker) Congratulations! (to Blacksmith) So sorry.

(Archibald and a Slave Master, played by Scallion #1, enter the scene)

Archibald: Ah, anyone here? Oh, yes, dear Baker. I have wonderful news! The Mayor has given you a full pardon. He wants you to resume your duties immediately!

Slave Master (Scallion #1): And I'm extending an invitation to you, Mr. Blacksmith to join my chain gang up the river!

(he laughs an evil laugh and Blacksmith gets terrified, then all exits the scene)

Sheriff Bob: How do you do that?

Little Joe: Hmm? Oh, well, I've always just had this thing for dreams. Just another way, "God made me special!"

Sheriff Bob: Yeah, and He loves you very much. I've heard. (he exits the scene, turning off the oil lamp again)

Bob: (narrating) Little Joe really believed God loved him. Still, every now and then, he wondered what God was up to.

Little Joe: Hey, God. Little Joe here. Not to complain or anything, but what's going on? I tell people what their dreams mean, and they always come true. But you gave me dreams a long time ago, and I'm in jail. And I didn't do anything. I'm trying to do what's right, but I'm a little confused. Well, please be with Pa, Baby Benjamin and most of my brothers. (he hops away then back to window) Okay, and Jude too. Goodnight, God.

(fades out of jail at nighttime scene and fades in the Mayor's office at daytime)

Bob: (narrating) The very next day, who should show up but the Mayor himself.

Mayor: (snoring)

Archibald: (quietly) Ah, as I believe we can all see here, the town's reserves are down a good 25% due to fact our bank is robbed, every other week.

Bandit: (laughing)

Sheriff Bob: Hey! (gets hit by a dodgeball)

Baker: Ah... Pizza roll?

Mayor: (mumbling in sleep before waking up screaming)

(again, cuts back to the prospector roasting a hot dog, when an avalanche of dodgeballs rains down on him again)

Mayor: It was horrible, just horrible! And it was so real, like it was really happening!

Archibald: Oh, that's sounds dreadful! At any rate, as I was saying about our bank-

Mayor: But what can it mean?! Is there anyone in Dodgeball City who can interpret dreams?!

Baker: Begging the Mayor's pardon, but I know someone who might-

(Everyone turns to look at him)

Baker: able to, uh, help.

Mayor: Hm?

(Transition to Little Joe next to Sheriff Bob and the baker in the Mayor's office)

Mayor: My baker tells me you can interpret dreams.

Little Joe: No, I can't, sir.

Mayor: What?!

(Both Sheriff Bob and the baker have terrified looks on their faces, then the baker hides behind Bob)

Little Joe: I can't interpret your dreams, but God can! He'll give me the answer you're looking for.

Mayor: Right, well He'd better, or I'll put you back in that jail, and you'll never get out.

(This worries Little Joe)

Mayor: Let's get started. Earlier today, I had the strangest dream.

(In the Mayor's dream, we see seven fat cows on a grassy hill)

Mayor: Seven cows sat on a hill,

so big and fat, I got my grill.

I was thinking about a barbecue.

Then seven scrawny ones came along,

and gulp! The big fat cows were gone.

(The seven scrawny cows gulp all the fat ones up, then the grassy hill turns into a desert-like wasteland)

Mayor: Then I dream't I was in front of a large group of people in my underwear. What's that about?

(The Mayor looks down to see he's wearing polka-dotted underwear, and quickly dashes behind his desk)

Mayor: So come on, start interpreting!

Little Joe: Well, it's really quite simple. The seven fat cows mean seven years of plenty are-a-comin'! More food than you could imagine! And the seven skinny cows means seven years of terrible famine. Famine so bad, the good years will be all but forgotten.

(The Mayor, Bob, and Archibald react to these)

Mayor: If this is true, what do we do?

Little Joe: Well, during the good years you should store away as much food as possible to give back to the people during the seven bad years, and Dodgeball City will be saved!

(The Mayor gets excited)

Little Joe: Of course, you'll need someone with great organizational abilities to make sure it all works.

(The Mayor turns to Archie)

Mayor: Archie, what's the state of your sock drawer?

Archibald: Ah, a little disorganized I'm afraid.

Mayor: That's what I thought. Cucumber, you're in charge!

Little Joe: Excuse me?

Mayor: What are you doing standing around here? You've got a city to save!

(Everyone cheers, as we transition to Little Joe in a fancy cowboy outfit)

Bob: (narrating) So the Mayor made Little Joe the most powerful man in Dodgeball City!

(Little Joe shakes his spur behind him)

Bob: (narrating) After him, of course. And just like always, Little Joe got right to it, doing things right and making stuff work!

Townspeople: Little Joe!

Oh, Little Joe!

(We then get a time-lapse of the townspeople building a giant silo over the seven good years, and storing pizza and bags of Mr. Twisty's Twisted Cheese Curls in the silo, to the point where the silo overflows. Then, Little Joe locks the door to the silo)

Townspeople: (cheering)

Sheriff Bob: You did it, Little Joe! Now we're ready for anything!

Little Joe: I certainly hope so.

(Then Little Joe and Sheriff Bob see a giant sandstorm start coming towards Dodgeball City)

Little Joe: Everyone, run for shelter!!

(Everyone runs around Dodgeball City looking for shelter)

McPotipher: Run for your lives!

(Everyone runs inside the Rootin' Tootin' Pizza Place, as McPotipher, Little Joe, and the Mayor look outside.

McPotipher: Oh, nothing's gonna grow in that soil for years!

Mayor: You did it, Little Joe! You saved the town!

(Little Joe is visibly upset)

Little Joe: Yeah...

McPotipher: Ah, what is it Little Joe? What's wrong?

Little Joe: Well, sir, I've got a family out there somewhere. I just hope they're alright.

Mayor: Oh, I'd be surprised if this drought was that widespread. I'm sure they're right as rain!

(cut to Little Joe's house, as his brothers and Pa Grape look at a single tiny pancake sitting on the table)

Brothers: We are doomed!

Benjamin (Junior Asparagus): Calm down, brothers! Things do look a little bleak, but if we stick together we'll get through this as a family! Right, Pa?

(Mr. Lunt pops up and slices the tiny pancake into multiple smaller-sized slices)

Brothers: (quietly) We are doomed.

(fade back to Dodgeball City, as the townspeople are taking food from the silo to store. Little Joe is writing stuff down on a clipboard, when he notices a bunch of strangers walking towards Dodgeball City. We then get a high noon-esque scene, as Little Joe is ready to face the strangers. But when the dust settles to reveal his brothers, he gets worried, and covers his face with his bandanna. He hops over to face them in disguise, but accidentally runs into the silo door. After taking a few seconds to recollect, he goes back towards his brothers)

Little Joe: (gruff voice) Howdy strangers. I run this here town. What can I do ya for?

Jude: We hear tell you've got yourself some food stored up. So, we reckoned we'd come on down to see if we can buy some from you.

Little Joe: (gruff voice) Hmm. How many in your family?

Jude: Just the eleven of us now. One of our brothers got ate up in a wild gopher accident, but that was years ago.

Little Joe: (gruff voice) Mighty sorry to hear that.

Reuben: We have regretted it every day since.

Benjamin: He was my closest brother, and I barely even remember him.

(Little Joe is saddened by all of this)

Little Joe: (breaking character) Where's your- *ahem* (gruff voice) Where's your pa?

Jude: He could not make the trip.

Reuben: His heart is broken.

(Little Joe is close to crying)

Little Joe: Y'all see the sheriff. He'll take care of ya.

(Jude and Reuben look at each other, confused)

Little Joe: (to Sheriff Bob) Give 'em whatever they need, but don't let 'em go 'til I say so.

Sheriff Bob: Are you okay, Little Joe?

Little Joe: (sniffs) I'm fine, but whatever you do, don't use my name around them.

Sheriff Bob: Whatever you say.

(Little Joe blows his nose into a handkerchief. We then fade into the next scene, where Sheriff Bob and a townsperson are helping load pizza onto the brothers' horse, while Little Joe watches from a distance)

Little Joe: I need to know if my brothers have changed. I need...a test!

(Little Joe winks to Sheriff Bob, who then whispers to the townperson as Little Joe walks over to his brothers)

Little Joe: You strangers ready to go?

Jude: I reckon so! Your man gave us everything we need. We tried to pay, but he would not hear of it.

Little Joe: Now I wonder why he wouldn't take money from a bunch of low-down, dirty thieves!

Reuben: Pardon?!

Little Joe: You heard me! You all came a long way just to get caught robbing me!

Jude: Now see here, we are not thieves! We came to buy some food! But if this is a problem, I-

(Little Joe hops over to Benjamin, who's holding a pizza. Little Joe takes the pizza and opens the box)

Little Joe: Them ain't pepperonis, partner!

(Little Joe throws the pizza on the ground, where it is revealed that there are quarters on the pizza instead of pepperoni. We then cut to the jail, as Benjamin is being locked up)

Jude: There's been a mistake!

Little Joe: You bet there's been a mistake! Your brother tried to steal from me, and we don't take kindly to stealing around these here parts!

Jude: But you don't understand! My pa has already lost one boy, a boy he loved very much, and it was my fault! I cannot let him lose Benjamin too! (Jude hops into the cell) Keep me prisoner, and let my brother go free.

(All the brothers start hopping through the bars into the cell)

Brothers: No, me me! Take me!

Bob: Alright, alright! Everybody get out of there! Little Joe, we've got a problem!.....Little Joe?

Little Joe: So, you'd really sacrifice yourselves for your brother?

Brothers: Oui, oui! Yes we would!

Little Joe: It's time to tell you who I really am. (Little Joe ducks down, takes off his hat, and shaves his mustache) Brothers, it's me!

Brothers: (gasps) Little Joe?!

(Little Joe opens the cell door)

Reuben: You're not still upset about that little mine shaft joke, are you?

Jude: Little Joe, I am to blame for what happened to you. Punish me, but I beg of you let my brothers go.

(All the brothers bow down towards Little Joe, mirroring his dream from earlier)

Little Joe: Hey Jude, what you did was wrong and it hurt me very much. But what you intended for harm, God used for good, to save you all, to save save Pa. How could I not forgive you?

(All the brothers start cheering, but are interrupted by someone)

Pa Grape: Hey! You boys forgot your mittens!

(Pa Grape pulls out the moose head with the mittens)

Pa Grape: (gasps) Little Joe?!

Little Joe: (gasps) Pa!!

Pa Grape: My boy!

(All the brothers start cheering again)

Bob: (narrating) And that's the story of how a very bad thing became a very good thing, and led to the happiest family reunion the west had ever seen.

(cut to city lights turning on again, as we cut to the prospector all tied up, with the desperadoes holding his hot dog. Then, another dodgeball avalanche rains down from the mountain, but this time, the desperadoes are wiped away, while the prospector ducks for safety. Then, the prospector is satisfied to find his campfire still going, as we fade to black)

Closing Countertop[]

(Fade back to the countertop)

Larry: That was great, Bob! That was the best Western Bible story I ever heard!

Bob: Well thanks, Larry. We're over here by QWERTY to talk about what we learned today.

(A westernized version of the What Have We Learned song plays, disappointing Bob)

Country Singers: And so what we have learned applies to our lives today,

and God has a lot to say in His book.

You see, we know that God's word is for everyone,

now that our song is done, we'll take a look.

Larry: Just a little something I whipped up in cowboy camp.

Bob: (dryly) Yahoo.....*ahem* So, what did we learned today?

Larry: That you can learn a lot about a person from their sock drawer.

Bob: Uh, maybe, but no. You see, good things and bad things happen to everyone. God made Little Joe a great organizer. That was good! But his brothers were mean to him, and he ended up in jail for no reason. That was bad. But God can use the good stuff and the bad stuff and put it all together to make something great.

Larry: Hey Bob, let's see if QWERTY has a verse for us.

Bob: Okay.

Larry: Hey, QWERTY, you got anything?

(QWERTY opens up a small animation of Larry riding a horse)

Bob: Uh...cowboy camp?

Larry: Got a merit badge for that one.

Bob: Uh huh...

(QWERTY then reveals the verse)

Larry: "And we know that God causes all things to work together for good, to those who love God. Romans 8:28"

Bob: Yep! So Pete, even though you aren't in the class you wanted to be in, remember that God loves you just as much as He loved Little Joe & if you try to do what's right, you might be amazed at what God has planned for you.

Larry: Time to go! I've gotta get ready for the next show!

Bob: Where are you going now?

Larry: Danish Immersion Camp!

Bob: What?!

Larry: Flav, gherk, flav!

(Larry hops back out in Danish clothes, as Bob laughs nervously)

Larry: Remember, God made you special...

Bob: And that's a good thing.

Larry: And He loves you very much!

Bob: And that's a great thing!

Both: Goodbye!

(End of transcript)