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This is the transcript for Stunt Driving School.


(Scene opens to Ichabeezer taking Rooney for a walk, before Bob and Larry drive by in a car, Larry doing the driving.)

Rooney: (barking)

Bob: What about doodle?

Larry: Kookamunga!

Bob: Taco?

Larry: Kookamunga! Kookamunga!

Bob: Shenanigan?

Larry: Koo-ka-munga! Face it, there is no funnier word than (becomes surprised) Kookamunga!

(Larry immediately stops the car.)

Bob: What about hodge-podge?

Larry: Bob! Where did this giant loop-de-loop come from?!

Bob: I think Mayor Archibald installed it. Isn't it great?

Larry: Ho-ho, I'm gonna vote for him fifty more times! Buckle up, sippy-cup!

(Larry is about to drive off, when police sirens are suddenly heard, before Officer Wedge drives up to him.)

Officer Wedge: Are you a certified stunt driver?

Larry: I think I'm just a regular driver.

Officer Wedge: The installation of this loop-de-loop requires everyone in town to get a stunt driver's license. (takes off his glasses) So far, Granny Asparagus is the only person to take the class.

(Camera pans up to Granny Asparagus jumping her car over buildings and landing on the ground again while driving.)

Granny: Make way for Granny!

(Granny starts doing donuts while in her car, then drives up and around the loop-de-loop while Bob and Larry can only watch. Granny then drives down the other side of the loop-de-loop and slides her car into a parking space.)

Granny: Ah! I still got it!

Officer Wedge: So unless you want a ticket, I suggest you you get to Stunt Driving School, fast!

Larry: (gasps)

(Officer Wedge drives off, before Larry also drives off.)

Bob: Stunt Driving School, eh? Should be easy. At least for me. What about you?

(Camera cuts back to show Larry looking very nervous.)

Larry: (grunts) How will I ever pass Stunt Driving School?! I've literally crashed every car I've ever driven!

Bob: Larry, look out!

Larry: (screaming)

(Larry swerves to avoid running into a lamppost.)

Larry: (panting) I'm gonna have to study really, really hard!

Bob: You do that studying thing, Larry, but as for me, I don't need to study. It's gonna be smooth sailing for this tomato. Another wall!

Larry: (screaming)

(Larry swerves again. Scene switches to Bob, Jimmy, Tina, and Bacon Bill entering the Stunt Driving School classroom. Bacon Bill turns to notice Larry carrying a huge stack of books.)

Larry: (grunting)

Bacon Bill: Hey, Larry, you should really get a bookshelf for those things.

Larry: They're for studying!

Bob: He thinks this is gonna be hard.

Bacon Bill: I could pass a driver's test with my eyes closed!

Bob: I have a perfect driving record soon to be a perfect stunt driving record!

Larry: Well, it's gonna be hard for me. Plus, I always wanted to be a stunt driver!

(Music starts playing.)

Larry: (singing) Gonna drive my truck

Through a ring of fire

Tilt it on a ramp

Drive on one tire

I won't think about

Slings, casts, or crutches

When I fly off a ramp over 20 buses

The crowd will roar

And clap their hands

Amazed at just how daring I am

Every one of them is a super fan

Of Larry, the amazing

Cucumber stunt man

I'm gonna ride my bike

With complete abandon

Fly through the air

Over the Grand Canyon

And I'll keep goin' till pretty soon

You'll see me flyin'

Right on over the moon

The crowd will roar

And clap their hands

Amazed as just how daring I am

Every one of them is a super fan

Of Larry, the amazing

Cucumber stunt man

Stunt man!

(The song ends, before Larry suddenly falls over, due to the books that he's been carrying.)

Bacon Bill: Does that count as a stunt?

(The sound of a motorcycle is suddenly heard after that.)

Jimmy: That must be the teacher!

Tina: Sounds like a real tough-driving stunt teacher!

(Petunia enters the classroom and takes off her helmet.)

Petunia: Good morning, class.

All: Huh?

Tina: Petunia?! You're our teacher?!

Petunia: That is correct.

Jimmy: I did not see that coming.

Petunia: Take your seats. I hope you're all ready to put those keys in the ignition and get those engines going.

(Larry writes down what Petunia said.)

Larry: Put key in ignition.

(Scene switches to later.)

Petunia: Even though it's called a donut, you can't eat it.

(Larry writes down what Petunia said, while Bob and Bacon Bill get stressed out during the lesson.)

Petunia: You can use a ramp to ramp over lots of things.

(Larry writes down what Petunia said once again.)

Petunia: Alligators, lava, smaller ramps.

(Larry writes down more notes, this time using two pencils to do so, as a spitball flies above him, Bacon Bill revealed to be the one shooting spitballs as one hits Bob, before Bacon Bill fires more spitballs at Bob in succession.)

Petunia: Plain decals aren't required, but they certainly don't hurt.

(Larry writes down what Petunia said once more, this time, having two more pencils on his invisible feet to write more notes, while Bacon Bill now throws paper airplanes at Bob.)

Petunia: And now it's time for a pop quiz! (a paper airplane flies past her) You have 15 minutes.

(Petunia gives quiz papers to each of the group. Scene switches to the clock, before 15 minutes have passed.)

Bob: How'd ya do?

Bacon Bill: Aced it of course! You?

Bob: Easiest test I've ever taken!

Petunia: Bob, Bacon Bill, you both failed.

Bob and Bacon Bill: (surprised) What?!

Petunia: Larry, 100 percent! Very nice.

Larry: Ya-hoo!

(Larry jumps out of his seat in excitement and comes back down again.)

Petunia: (to Bob and Bacon Bill) If you wish to continue, you'll both have to stay after class and retake the test.

(Larry gets out of his seat and leaves, while Jimmy pushes past Bob.)

Bob: Fine.

(Scene switches to Bob and Bacon Bill retaking the test, while Bacon Bill is trying to think.)

Bacon Bill: Hmm. You know what would really help me get a better score on this test? Having the answers right in front of me!

(Bacon Bill looks out and sees a pile of answer sheets on Petunia's desk, while Petunia is busy looking over a test paper.)

Bacon Bill: Oh, I think I see them on Petunia's desk.

(Bacon Bill sneaks out of his desk and snakes up to Petunia's desk, while Petunia ends up dropping a paper she was holding. Petunia bends over to pick up the paper, while Bacon Bill sneaks up and bends over before picking up an answer sheet with his teeth, then slinking away, just as Petunia has picked up the paper. Petunia looks up to see Bacon Bill breathing heavily then giving off a smile, as she looks at him rather suspiciously, but resumes looking over the papers again. Bacon Bill then brings out the answer sheet from behind his back then resumes his test again.)

Bacon Bill: Oh, this is much easier!

(Bacon Bill then looks around with a shifty look on his face. Scene switches to outside.)

Petunia: Now that we've all passed the written test, time for what we've all been waiting for, some actual stunt driving!

Bob: I may have had trouble with the written test, but this is gonna be a breeze!

Bacon Bill: It sure is! (laughing) This is definitely gonna be what I'm cheating! I mean, a breeze!

(Camera pans out while Larry and Tina are also standing beside Bob and Bacon Bill, before Bacon Bill looks around then runs off.)

Petunia: We'll be doing an everyday average stunt. Jumping through three rings of fire!

(Camera cuts to a ramp in front of three hoops that are on fire.)

Petunia: To assure safety, I've asked the fire department to be on standby.

(Camera pans over to Jean-Claude and Phillipe, who are wearing fireman's hats, as Jean-Claude sprays Phillipe with the hose, before Jean-Claude also gets forced back by the pressure of the hose.)

Petunia: Uh. (chuckles) Um, who's first?

(Petunia looks at her clipboard. Scene switches to Larry getting into the car at the top of the ramp.)

Larry: Seatbelt is good! Brake is functioning! Steering wheel is aligned! Butterflies are in stomach! Gulp!

(Camera zooms in on Larry's stomach, showing several butterflies inside, before the camera zooms back out again.)

Larry: Everything seems to be in order!

(Camera pans out to show the ramp in front of the hoops on fire, before Larry starts the car.)

Larry: Here we go!

(Larry drives the car down the ramp and makes the jump, as the car sails right through the flaming hoops, then lands on the other side.)

Larry: I did it!

(Scene switches to in an alley, where Bacon Bill is conversing with Mr. Lunt.)

Bacon Bill: You already have a stunt driver's license, yeah?

Mr. Lunt: Yep, I think. Is this it? (pulls out a piece of paper) "Good for one free milkshake at the Wacky Shack".

Bacon Bill: Close enough!

(Bacon Bill pulls out a remote control.)

Bacon Bill: I've rigged the car to be remote-controlled! I'll sit in the driver's seat, you control the car! The perfect plan!

(Bacon Bill runs off. Scene switches to Bacon Bill now sitting in the driver's seat of the car at the top of the ramp, before the camera zooms out to show the flaming hoops in front of the ramp.)

Bacon Bill: Ahem! My foot is pressing down on the gas now!

(Scene switches to the alley that Bob, Larry, and Petunia are standing in front of, as Mr. Lunt controls the car with the remote. The car rears up, flips around, then drives down the ramp.)

Bacon Bill: I'm driving! I'm driving this car!

(The car sails through the flaming hoops, then lands on the other side again.)

Bacon Bill: And that's how you jump through three rings of fire! Thank you very much.

Petunia: Bob, you're up.

(Bob looks up at the ramp and gulps nervously. Scene switches to Bob now nervously in the car.)

Bob: (nervously) This should be no problem!

(Bob drives the car down the ramp.)

Bob: (screams) I can't do it!

(The car swerves out of control and flies off the side of the ramp.)

Bob: Whoa!

(Petunia and a corn man watch, before Bob crashes off-screen, showing that Bob crashed into the side of a tree. Jean-Claude and Phillipe come up to the car and spray it with the hose when the car starts smoking.)

Bob: There goes my perfect record.

Petunia: If you want to pass this class, you may have to consider studying.

(Bob is saddened. Scene switches to Bob sadly approaching Larry and Petunia.)

Bob: I... I don't know what I did wrong.

Petunia: Maybe there's someone you know who's been studying that can help you.

(Petunia then subtly gestures to Larry.)

Bob: Larry, I've been going about this all wrong. I should be more like you. Think you could help me out?

Larry: Looks like the student has become... a student who's helping out another student? I'll help.

Bob: Thanks, Larry.

Petunia: Final exam is tomorrow! Study hard!

(Petunia leaves, before Bob and Larry also leave. Scene switches to Bob and Larry's house.)

Larry: Hop in my Stunt Driving Simulator!

(Camera switches to a cardboard box.)

Bob: You mean this cardboard box?

(Bob jumps into the cardboard box.)

Larry: That's right! (hands Bob a plate) Go ahead, turn it on.

(Bob takes the plate from Larry and starts turning it like a steering wheel.)

Larry: (clearing his throat)

Bob: (imitating car driving sounds)

Larry: That's better. Now, as you drive, be on the lookout for any stunt driving you gotta do.

(Bob still continues pretending to drive while making car driving sounds, while Larry is pretending to be trees that Bob is driving past.)

Bob: I'm not sure this is wor-

Larry: Bob! Watch out! Here comes a ramp, Bob! You gotta jump!

(Bob imagines himself driving down a ramp, then jumping through the hoops, before the imagination ends.)

Bob: Ha-ha! I did it!

Larry: You jumped through the three rings!

(Larry holds out three donuts then throws them up into the air before catching the donuts in his mouth and eating them. Scene switches to Petunia standing before Bob, Larry, Jimmy, Tina, and Bacon Bill.)

Petunia: For our final exam, we will be driving the loop-de-loop while blindfolded!

All: (gasping)

Jimmy: Blindfolded? That doesn't sound safe!

Petunia: Well, it is Stunt Driving School, after all. And the fire department is here, just in case.

(Camera cuts to Jean-Claude and Phillipe who have the hose hooked up to the hydrant. Phillipe looks in the hose, just as a Cherry Cat gets onto the hydrant and jumps on top of it, causing the hose to shoot a powerful torrent of water, which sends Jean-Claude and Phillipe flying while holding on to the hose. Camera cuts back to the group once again.)

Petunia: If you studied hard, you should have no problem. Who would like to go first?

Larry: I will!

(Scene switches to Larry now in the car with a blindfold over his face, before he drives the car up the loop-de-loop, while Bob, Jimmy, Tina, and Bacon Bill watch. Larry then makes it to the other side of the loop-de-loop.)

Larry: I did it!

(Larry gets out of the car but runs into a lamppost, because of the blindfold covering his eyes. Larry takes off the blindfold.)

Larry: I did it!

Bob: Way to go, buddy!

Petunia: You ready to go, Bob?

Bob: (nervously) I, uh... I...

Bacon Bill: Me! Me! Let me go next! I'm gonna ace this thing no problem! (quietly) With a little help from Lunt.

Petunia: What was that?

Bacon Bill: Nothing!

(Bacon Bill runs off, while Petunia follows him. Mr. Lunt sneaks around from behind the buildings while holding the remote control before sneaking into the alley. Bacon Bill is now in the car.)

Bacon Bill: Here I go! (puts on the blindfold) I'm driving now!

(Mr. Lunt comes out while holding the remote and controls the car, causing it to spin around a bit. Mr. Lunt is still controlling the car, until the Cherry Cat comes from behind him and takes the remote.)

Mr. Lunt: Hey! Get back here!

(Mr. Lunt chases after the Cherry Cat.)

Bacon Bill: (laughing)

(The car then drives off, driving right past the loop-de-loop.)

Bacon Bill: Whoo! (laughing) I mean, I'm doing all this on purpose!

(The car then drives up the side of the bookcase and flies up, just as Bacon Bill removes his blindfold, while Bob, Larry, Petunia, Jimmy, and Tina stare in surprise.)

Bacon Bill: Never mind! Someone help me!

(The car falls back down again before landing on top of a tree, before the tree catapults the car in the air again.)

Bob: We gotta do something!

(Bob and Larry look in determination at each other, before running off. The car lands on top of a building.)

Bacon Bill: Somebody stunt-save me!

(Bob gets into the car, while Larry slides on the front of the car and falls down, before getting in with Bob, before driving off to save Bacon Bill. The car then drives on top of the tree, which catapults the car into the air until landing on top of the building. Bacon Bill is still out of control in his car, while Bob and Larry drive after him. Larry sticks his head out the window and twirls a chain like a rope before throwing it, as the other end of the chain lands on the back of Bacon Bill's car. Larry then throws an anchor, which the chain is attached to, out the window as the anchor lands on the edge of the building, stopping Bacon Bill's car before it could fall off the edge of the building.)

Bacon Bill: (laughing)

(Bacon Bill's car starts smoking, while Jean-Claude and Phillipe ride in on the out-of-control fire hose.)

Larry: We saved him! Bob, look out!

Bob: (gasps)

(Bob swerves the car to the side, the car now tipped on its side near the edge, knocking off a small rock, before the car then falls back down again, having stopped.)

Larry: Bob, your stunt-driving saved the day!

(Bob and Larry get out of the car, before Petunia comes up to them.)

Petunia: I think you and Larry more than passed the test.

Bob and Larry: (cheering)

Bob: And I couldn't have done it without Larry helping me study.

(Camera pans over to Bacon Bill getting sprayed by the hose held by Jean-Claude and Phillipe.)

Bacon Bill: I'm sorry! (blubbering) I'll never cheat again! (blubbering)

(The screen irises out on Bacon Bill, ending the episode.)

(End of transcript)