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Stuff-Mart Suite (also known as the Salesmunz Rap) is the second song from Madame Blueberry. It is sung by the Salesman.


Salesman #1: Allow us to introduce ourselves, We're neighbors.

Salesman #2: We moved in down the street!

Salesman #1: Some say we're the most delightful bunch of fellows-

Salesman #3: -You'll ever want to meet!

Salesman #1: And if you have a moment to spare

Kind lady with beauty so...rare

We'd like to take a minute or two

On a topic of interest to you.

Salesmen: We represent the Stuff Mart.

Salesman #2: An enormous land of goodies.

Salesman #1: Would you mind if we stepped in, please?

Madame Blueberry: Well I—

Salesmen: And as associates of the Stuff Mart...

Salesman #1: It looks like you could use some stuff!

Madame Blueberry: Oh yes! Well as I was saying I-

Salesman #1: I pray that you won't take this wrong, my dear, but my initial observation is as follows:

The criminal responsible for this décor really should be hanging from the gallows!

(Salesmen 2 & 3 laugh)

Madame Blueberry: (bawling)

Salesmen: We represent the Stuff Mart.

Salesman #2: A magic land of retails.

Salesman #3: Would you care to see what's on sale?

(Larry nods yes, then so does Madame Blueberry)

Salesmen: Then as a customer of the Stuff Mart...

Salesman #1: Get ready for some real nice stuff!

(music changes to a rap)

Salesmen #2 and #3: Check it out! Check it out!

Salesman #1: If you want a big hat...

Salesmen #2 and #3: We got that!

Salesman #1: If you need a tube of glue...

Salesmen #2 and #3: We got that too!

Salesman #1: A 20 gallon wok?

Salesmen #2 and #3: They're in stock!

Salesmen: And if you need refrigerators

To keep extra mashed potatoes

Or a giant air compressor

To blow fruit flies off your dresser

Or a dehydrated strudel

Or a nose ring for your poodle

Or a five-pound can of tuna

And some flippers to go scuba.

Salesmen #2 and #3: Scuba! Scuba!


Here we go, scuba!


Salesman #1: If you need a rubber hose...

Salesmen #2 and #3: We got those!

Salesman #1: A rhododendron tree!

Salesmen #2 and #3: We got three!

Salesman #1: A wrap-around deck!

Salesmen #2 and #3: Gotta check.

Salesmen: But if you need a window scraper

And a gross of toilet paper

Or a rachet set and pliers

And surround sound amplifiers

And a solar turkey chopper

Or a padded gopher bopper

Flannel shirts for looking grungy

And some rope for goin' bungee.

Salesmen #2 and #3: Bungee! Bungee!


Here we go, bungee!


(The bungee cords snap and they fall on the floor.)

Salesman #2: Ow.

(music changes back to normal)

Salesman #1: What we've mentioned are only just some.

Salesman #2: Of the wonderful things yet to come.

Salesman #1: These pictures you keep are so... Nice.

Salesman #3: But you really should take our advice.

Salesman #1: Happiness waits at the Stuff Mart!

Salesmen: All you need is lots...more...stuff.

Madame Blueberry: So if I buy more things...that will make me happy?

(Salesmen nods heads, while Blueberry looks at Bob and Larry. Larry shrugs, while Bob is displeased)

Bob: I don't think that's true.

(Gets close to Bob, and starts arguing)

Salesman #1: Yes it is.

Bob: No it's not.

(They both starting yanking Blueberry's purse, with her pulling her purse back)

Salesman #1: Yes it is.

Bob: No it's not!

Salesman #1: YES IT IS!

(The purse flies out of their grips, and lands in front of the other two Salesmen, with a lipstick rolling out)

Salesmen #2 and #3: You really, really ought to.

Madame Blueberry: How could I afford not to?

Salesman #1: Now you got it!

Bob: Oh, great.

Salesman #1: Happiness waits at the Stuff Mart!

Salesmen: All you need is lots... More... Stuff!

Fun Facts


Screen Shot 2021-01-20 at 1.14
  • For a split second before the book lands in front of Bob, Larry, and Madame Blueberry, (when rotated 90 degrees) you can see three images that are references both in and out of the show.
    • The one on the far right is a production still of the Stuff-Mart snack bar.
    • The one on the top left is the same car that Jerry Gourd drives in His Cheeseburger.
    • The third image below the one above is a prototype VHS box cover for Madame Blueberry.
  • In the commentary for Madame Blueberry, Mike Nawrocki said that the lyric "Flannel shirts for looking grungy" was a reference to the Seattle grunge era that ran between the 1980's and 1990's. Phil Vischer also mentions one of the bands names called Nirvana, which at first he mistakenly called Nelvana (the name of the animation studio known for animated shows such as The Magic School Bus).
  • The line where they say "allow us to introduce ourselves" has become an internet meme. When someone found an annoying thing, they use the image from the song when they say "allow us to introduce ourselves".
  • Salesmunz Rap was later redone with added beats in many future albums.