This is the episode transcript for Runaway Pride at Lightstation Kilowatt.
Transcript[]
(The episode opens in Grandmum's kitchen as Michelle enters.)
Michelle: Hi, Grandmum.
Grandmum: Oh hello, love! What brings you to the kitchen? Feeling a bit peckish?
Michelle: No, I just wanted a snack.
Grandmum: There then. That's better. And, I have the perfect treat for you, dearie. (She's making jelly-filled pastries.) I first made this a long time ago, before I'd even met your granddad. Ahh, good memories, good memories.
Michelle: Did you work in a bakery?
Grandmum: Oh, no, love, I was participating in a church bake sale. And as I recall, there was a handsome young parishioner who had his eye on me.
Michelle: He...jumped out of planes?
Grandmum: No, dear. Not "parachuter", "parishioner". He and I just attended the same church.
Michelle: 'Kay. Go on.
Grandmum: So! This particular gentleman thought himself an expert on hanging large banners. But, truth be told, he was just a bit of a show-off...well...prideful as a puffin, actually!
Michelle: What happened?
Grandmum: Well, he refused to let anyone help 'im by holding the ladder he was standing on, whilst trying to hang that bake sale banner. Right over that table of me pies and cakes and such. 'Said he knew what he was doing...
Michelle: And...?
Grandmum: Well, like the Bible says: "Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall."
Michelle: You mean...?
Grandmum: Means he was puffed-up with pride! Let it get the better of 'im. And that ladder wasn't as steady as he thought... (Grandmum squeezes a little too much jelly into the pastry and it squirts out the other side, all over Michelle's face and glasses.) Hmm. Messy business, pride... Jellied eel, as well.
(After the opening sequence, we see Jason and Michelle in the attic. Jason is looking through a box.)
Michelle: Well?
Jason: We've struck... (pulls out paint by numbers boxes, one with a clipper ship and another with a unicorn.) "paint-by-numbers". Perfect.
Michelle: Yeah, "perfect"! Something right up my artistic alley. And look! It's a...dog? Holding...an umbrella?
Jason: Uh, yeah... It's from the "surrealist collection". Where are your glasses, anyway?
Michelle: Don't need them. Glasses are unnecessary for something with my awesome talent and... panache.
Jason: With your what?
Michelle: I heard Grandmum say it once. She said it's French for--
Jason: Le Grande show-off...
Michelle: Just doing what comes naturally.
Jason: Big difference...
(They both start to paint, but Michelle has a hard time seeing due to her lack of glasses.)
Jason: You color-in the drawing there by matching the numbers with the ones on the paints.
(Michelle gives a dirty look.)
Jason: Those numbers are, uh...pretty small, huh?
Michelle: Not at all! What better way to expand my advanced artistic talent beyond all those finger paintings I've made for Grandmum's refrigerator.
Jason: You know, I could run downstairs for you and get your glasses. Where'd you leave them?
Michelle: Oh, sit down. I don't need any help because I know what I'm doing. This might not be as hands-on as finger painting, but an expert artist can adapt if necessary.
Jason: Okay then, Picasso, can't wait to see that one on Grandmum's fridge.
Michelle: (growls)
(As time passes, Michelle uses up all the paint she has. When taking a look at the painting and the box, even though she can't see clearly, she can still see that the colors don't match. She goes to see how Jason is doing.)
Michelle: Staying inside all the lines?
Jason: No, not really.
Michelle: That looks nothin' like it's supposed to.
Jason: Okay then. Let's have a look at yours.
Michelle: Well, first of all, you've got that big blue thing where there's supposed to be a big brown thing.
Jason: That is a clipper ship, Mr. Magoo. But I'm having fun doing it my own way. Thank you.
Michelle: Well at least one of us has the motor skills and the panache to create true art.
Jason: Well at least one of us has a head so big that there's not enough room in this attic for two of us. Enjoy your solo career.
Michelle: Oh...I will. I don't need your help or your company.
(Michelle places her painting against the Rockhopper. As she tries to get a better view, the painting pushes the ship off the desk. The ship falls off, revs its engines and pops up right in front of Michelle, much to her surprise.)
Michelle: What?
(Without being ordered, Fidgel galeezels Michelle into the ship.)
Michelle: Woah!
Zidgel: Pretty quick on the draw there, Doctor.
Fidgel: Ma'am.
(A tumbleweed rolls by and Midgel grabs it. Using an electric shaver, he shrinks it to the size of a dust bunny.)
Midgel: Bonsai!!
(He lets it roll through a small model western town. After that, he drives the ship around the globe and into space. Inside, Michelle struggles to get a good view of the ship, Fidgel pushes some buttons, Zidgel brushes his hair, and Kevin turns on the power to an emergency case, which stores a fire hydrant, a life ring, a box of donuts, a rubber chicken, a pair of glasses, a plate with a fish and a case of breath mints. Kevin goes back for the glasses and gives them to Michelle. He then goes back for the donuts, but he mistakenly puts them on Michelle's glasses. He then takes off the donuts and eats them.)
Kevin: Hello!
Michelle: Uh, thanks! So...what's our mission?
Zidgel: Our mission, young friend, is to prevent the imminent demise of thousands of space cruisers across the galaxy. We must deploy ourselves to re-instate the signal that warns against the perilous tidal vvbrmvm-meese waves and the cosmic reef they surround! Sounds exciting, huh?
Michelle: The tidy vrrr, vrrr-meese?
Zidgel: Yes, it's quite simple, really. (He uses a laser beam to point at an image of a lighthouse.) All we have to do is repair the beacon here at Lightstation Kilowatt. Boy, I love these things.
Michelle: But I'm an artist. I don't know the first thing about--
(Midgel jumps out of his seat.)
Midgel: The lighthouse is actually more of a traffic signal, letting cargo freighters know when the electron tides have aligned to permit safe passage by the color and action of this beacon. We've been working on a device which serves as a temporary substitute beacon.
Fidgel: While repairs are made on the failed signal beam, to restore its proper spectral wave length, and pulse cycle frequency.
Kevin: (while playing with the laser.) And sets it back to being red and blinky.
Zidgel: You know what they say: "Green and steady, passage ready. Red and blinky, conditions stinky!"
Fidgel: It's been quite a team effort so far. Now freighters will have ample warning to steer clear of the tides until it's safe to go through.
(As Zidgel rather foolishly plays with the laser beam, it sets his hair on fire. He runs around screaming as the rest of the crew keep talking.)
Fidgel: I'm very proud of each one of us.
Midgel: Rightfully so! And this little ship of ours is the only one in this galaxy small and powerful enough to get us through the perilous vvbrmvm-meese waves and keep us off the reef.
(Kevin grabs a fire extinguisher and puts out the fire.)
Zidgel: Thanks, I...needed that. (A small flame reignites, but it's quickly doused.)
Michelle: But what do you want me to do?
Fidgel: Well, our solution has everything spit-spot...except for one thing.
Zidgel: That's where I come in! Alas, the poor doctor is...colorblind as a mackerel. So, as captain, I've assigned myself to be his replacement...uh...what was that again?
Fidgel: Yes...uh, well, while we oversee things here on the ship, the captain is going to be manning the remote control panel as our wavelength and pulse cycle frequency tune-in engineer.
Zidgel: (with Fidgel) Cycle frequency tune-in engineer. Yes, sir! And the, expert...wave...frequent-cycle-dealie engineer that there is!
Midgel: I've got to keep the ship under control in those waves.
Zidgel: That's right. The man in the field!
Fidgel: And we need you here with us on this end.
Michelle: For a panache?
Zidgel: The grunt in the trenches!
Fidgel: Well...sort of. I need your help to monitor the temporary beacon's color and visibility here from the ship.
Zidgel: The fly in the ointment!
Michelle: That's perfect! Color comes to me quite naturally, you know.
Zidgel: The bee in the bonnet! Oh! And Kevin will be serving as my trusted assistant.
Kevin: Trusty assistant bee-bonnet trench grunt.
(He sprays more foam at Zidgel with the fire extinguisher. The ship flies through a sea of meteors.)
Midgel: Approaching Lightstation Kilowatt!
Zidgel: Right! Whose turn is it?
(A neon sign shows the number 3, and Kevin holds up a card reading said number. All the penguins buckle up, but Zidgel is having a bit of trouble. As the ship's back door opens, Kevin pulls out a giant anchor and lets it out of the ship. He then goes to sit down and buckle up. Suddenly, the ship's anchor grabs two meteors as the ship flies around the other meteors.)
Midgel: Coming about!
(Cut to Lightstation Kilowatt. Suddenly, the ship's anchor chain gets caught on the lighthouse and gets wrapped around it.)
Zidgel: All ashore that's going ashore!
(Later, Kevin and Zidgel are now off the ship and outside the lighthouse door. Kevin is carrying the equipment needed for the job.)
Zidgel: I hope they're in.
(The door opens and out comes a horde of squeaking and beeping lightbulbs with hard hats.)
Kevin: You're late.
Zidgel: Huh?
Kevin: He says you're late.
Zidgel: Now, see here, bulby--
Light bulb #1: (beeps and clicks)
Zidgel: Uh...Kevin?
Kevin: He says there's another ship coming.
Fidgel: Captain! Ship to captain! Come in, Captain!
Zidgel: Wouldn't you know it? Hello?
Fidgel: Captain, there's a bit of trouble headed our way in the form of a heavily loaded transport vessel with a highly fragile cargo.
(The screen shows a cargo ship.)
Michelle: What is it?
Midgel: That's the F.S.S. Emperor's Pride! (The screen shows a worst-case scenario which shows the ship flying past the unlit lighthouse and getting destroyed by a meteor.) If we don't do something quick to change its course, it'll get caught in the incoming tide and destroy itself on the un-aligned cosmic reef...in six minutes!
Zidgel: So some stereo equipment goes straight into the scratch-n-dent bin, big deal! You can't rush an artist just before showtime.
(Back on the ship, Fidgel continues talking to Zidgel while on the computer screen, the cargo ship appears to be on fire.)
Fidgel: Captain, we are all directly in the path of that enormous freighter.
Zidgel: Duh-oh! Belay your worries! Kevin and I are on the job!
Midgel: Y-y-y-yeah...uh...Captain? Permission to suggest the three of us go and try to head off the Emperor's Pride before it gets much closer.
Zidgel: Permission granted.
Midgel: I...suggest...three of us go and try to head off the Emperor's Pride before it gets much closer.
Zidgel: Very good! In the meantime, Kevin and I will carry out our mission here...with a little expert panache, eh, Kevin?
(Fade to later that day, as the machine is nearly done being assembled.)
Zidgel: This is Captain Zidgel calling...uh...my ship! Come in, ship!
Midgel: This is ship...er...Midgel, Captain.
Michelle: Tell them to hurry!
Midgel: The cargo ship is still closing in, and I'm not sure if we'll be able to head them off in time! We need that beacon to warn them. Do you have that gear set up yet?
Zidgel: This is...uh...woven-thing plus Clyde's frequent turtle engine...-eer...uh...Zidgel, preparing to activate the, uh...thingy...here.
Midgel and Michelle: Activate thingy!
Zidgel: Roger! Kevin?
(Kevin goes to start it up, but with just two soft pulls of the cord, nothing happens.)
Zidgel: Here...
(Zidgel gives one big pull, and the machine starts up.)
Zidgel: There! All it needed was one big jerk!
(Zidgel pushes a button and the light turns on, but it's not very bright. Kevin looks out in the distance as the camera zooms away from the lighthouse. Here we see the F.S.S. Emperor's Pride approaching. Fade back to inside the Rockhopper.)
Fidgel: Captain, you have less than a minute to get that beacon working or it's lights out for that cargo cruiser...and you...
(The screen starts flashing a warning reading "P. Sup. Nebula.")
Michelle: What? What's happening?
(The ship starts to shake as it drives through the fog.)
Midgel: Secure yourselves, mates! This fog is getting pretty thick.
Michelle: What is it?
Fidgel: Fascinating! It's a vaporous anomaly unique to this sector. The thick and fickle Piscine Super Nebula. Oh dear. And...it appears to be interfering with our radar contact with both the lighthouse and the Emperor's Pride.
Midgel: Ah, I can't see a thing...and with the navigational systems out, I'm gonna have to shut it down until this clears up.
(Midgel stops the ship and shuts off the engines.)
Midgel: Captain! I strongly urge you to get that beacon functioning so we can at least establish visual contact with you.
(Cut back to the lighthouse.)
Zidgel: Ha-ha-ha, yeah...yeah. Roger that...ahuh-huh. Preparing to tune frequencies! So Kevin, how many penguins does it take to change a light bulb?
Kevin: Um...four. And one little girl.
Zidgel: No, no, no. It's a joke, see, you're supposed to say "I don't know, how many?" Okay, so...how many penguins does it take to change a light bulb?
Kevin: I don't know, how many--?
Zidgel: One! As long as it's me! (laughs) A classic! Hey! What's your name? Where ya from? Great, great. Well, a-huh-huh...let's just, uh, dc and some d here. A-huh...it's why I get the big money...for my next number...
Kevin: I don't get it.
Zidgel: Well, ya see. It's kind of a pun.
(Zidgel presses a button and the light shines brighter.)
Zidgel: A-a-a-a-and...big finish!
(The beacon starts flashing various colors. Meanwhile, Midgel, Michelle and Fidgel watch from the ship.)
Midgel: What?
Michelle: Oh, that's pretty! But should it look like that?
Fidgel: Captain! Is that you? Is everything okay?
Zidgel: A-okay, doctor! Oh yeah!
Fidgel: But Captain...You simply can't treat that equipment...
Zidgel: Hey, doc, not now, huh. The show's going great! Besides, I know what I'm doing. I'm an engineer!
(Zidgel fools around with the machine until parts start to fall off. The lightbulbs stare silently at the beacon, which has changed to green.)
Fidgel: What color is that light?
Michelle: It's green.
Fidgel: Oh dear.
(Brief fade to black)
Midgel: Something's gone wrong!
Michelle: I'll say. Look! The light color has stopped on green!
(The ship shakes a bit as the Emperor's Pride bumps into it and roars by while blowing its horn.)
Fidgel: The Emperor's Pride must think it's signaling a safe passage now. Oof! Captain! Come in, Captain! You must change the light back to flashing red immediately! Just listen carefully and I'll help you through it.
Zidgel: No! No, no, no... (laughs) I dunno what yer talking about... (laughs) uh...I'm just gonna see if I can get that cargo ship on the old horn here...uh...just have a little chat...but...uh...yeah, I'm good here! Thanks. How are you? (Static noises.)
Midgel: We've gotta catch up with that ship!
Fidgel: And do what?
Midgel: We'll figure that out when we get there.
(Midgel starts up the ship and chases after the big one.)
Zidgel: Calling all ships! Calling all ships! Mayday! Mayday! Pay no attention to the steady, green beacon light signaling you forward! It uh...doesn't count...
Midgel, Fidgel, and Michelle: Doctor, fix the beacon! It has to flash red!
Zidgel: Drop anchor! Hard astern!
Kevin: He's trying, I know. Yes. Wait, what? Channel four? Oh, alright then, I'll tell him. Cheers. They're a bit upset.
Zidgel: What?! Not now, Kevin!
Kevin: They say the big ship is--
Zidgel: Yeah! Yeah! I know!
Kevin: I think their idea will help...
Zidgel: Alright then...if you're the expert now...you dial up that ship!
(Kevin dials up the Rockhopper.)
Michelle: You can do it, Zidgel! If you're not sure what to do next, just ask for help! It's okay! Don't let your pride get in the way of solving this problem! Remember, pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall!
Zidgel: Ehh...? (hangs his head in frustration before talking softly) Kevin, I don't know what to do and I need your help.
Kevin: Aye?
Zidgel: (louder) Kevin, I don't know what to do and I need your help.
(As one bulb shines, Kevin gets an idea. He points to three bulbs, who explain their ideas.)
Bulb #1: (antique car horn)
Bulb #2: (telephone ringing)
Bulb #3: (squeak)
Zidgel: That's it! Kevin, we are a genius!
(Zidgel picks up a fishing pole, turns off the beacon, and talks to the bulb people.)
Zidgel: My good bulb-people! I need your help to save that ship! Follow me!
(The lightbulbs, Zidgel and Kevin get into the lighthouse. Midgel, Fidgel and Michelle watch from their ship as the lightbulbs flash red as Zidgel instructs them, as if he were conducting an orchestra. Kevin then notices the hull of the Emperor's Pride stop right before the lighthouse. Fade to the Rockhopper, now with tires on its sides like a tugboat, as it guides the big ship.)
Zidgel: Captain's log, stardate...oh...mmm...say noonish. The Piscine Super Nebula and the perilous vvbrmvm-meese waves nearly claimed two more vessels, but thanks to Michelle's words of wisdom, destructive pride was set aside just in the nick of time. Furthermore, the cooperative bulb-headed natives helped me realize that a light show isn't what we need to make the act really work. (He pulls Kevin up to his seat.) So I figured out something better!
(Zidgel gives Kevin make-up and a bowtie.)
Zidgel: Hey, Kevin...knock, knock.
Kevin: Come in.
Zidgel: Uh, no, no, you're supposed to say, uh, who's there.
Kevin: Who's there?
Zidgel: Hey, wait, not til I say knock, knock.
Kevin: Sorry.
Zidgel: Okay, okay, ready? Knock, knock.
Kevin: Who's there?
Zidgel: Dwayne.
Kevin: Your name's not Dwayne.
Zidgel: I know, I know, it's part of the joke.
Kevin: Oh, sorry. Come in, Dwayne!
Zidgel: You're not waiting for me to--
Kevin: Hey, is Zidgel's middle name Dwayne?
Midgel: No, it's Lloyd.
Michelle: (laughs)
Zidgel: That's...uh...classified, Midgel.
(Midgel accidentally steers the Rockhopper into the Emperor's Pride. As Fidgel accidentally bumps into Michelle, she's transported back to the attic. The ship bounces across the floor and into Jason's hand.)
Jason: Woah, at least give me a hike first.
Michelle: Oh, Jason! Oh, Jason, I'm sorry I was so...prideful before and chased you out of here. Now I know what happens when pride gets the better of me. (She shows Jason her painting.) And now I don't even have enough paint left to try and fix it.
Jason: Hey, don't worry about it. And look, since I didn't do mine the right way either, I've got tons of paint leftover so you can redo yours.
(He shows Michelle that he painted a picture of the Rockhopper and its penguin crew. Fade to later that night.)
Grandmum: Alright, crumpets! Say your prayers and tuck in.
Jason and Michelle: Dear God.
Jason: Please bless Grandmum, and help keep Mom and Dad safe on their trip.
Michelle: And thank you God for all the fun we had today, and for helping me understand how we shouldn't let pride get in the way of more important things.
Jason: Thank you for making each one of us special.
Michelle: And for giving some of us a really nice helpful brother.
Jason: And for giving some of us the panache to do what comes naturally.
Both: Amen.
(end of transcript)