Robot Love is a song from When Being Good Means Giving Up. It is sung by Mr. Lunt, Larry the Cucumber, Jerry Gourd, and Archibald Asparagus.
Lyrics
- Mr. Lunt: (ahem) We had a little incident today, and it went something like this. A cucumber stood in front of a door. Inside was a robot! Never had he wanted anything more than the robot!
- Larry: It's an L-1 Mark 5!
- Mr. Lunt: Just as he stood on the welcome mat, along came a guy with a big red hat!
- Archibald: I have a hat, I have no name, but I love robots just the same! I have a hat!
- Larry: It is red!
- Archibald: I have no name!
- Larry: How 'bout Fred?
- Archibald: But I love-
- Archibald and Larry: -robots just the same!
- Mr. Lunt: And the cucumber remembered what he'd learned in church, that God wants us to think of other people first!
- Larry: Here, friend, why don't you go first?
- Archibald: I'll take up your offer, I won't decline! I thank you, I thank you 'cause you've been so kind.
- Larry: I've been so kind.
- Archibald: You've been so kind. Oh, what a lovely robot! Last one? I'll take it!
- Larry: What?! Oh wait! Oh no! The horrors, it's a tragedy! The robot he is taking, it was meant for me!
- Mr. Lunt: The cucumber was anguished, the cucumber was sad! While trying to be good, it had all gone bad!
- Larry: I was trying to be good, but it's all gone bad!
- Mr. Lunt: I said that already.
- Larry: I was repeating for emphasis. And now to get my robot back, I'll have to stage a sneak attack! This tragedy has changed my mind, this cucumber will not be kind!
- Mr. Lunt: Stop, my friend, I think you should consider what you do! Maybe you can still be good and have your robot too!
- Larry: Maybe I can still be good and have my robot too? How can this be?
- Mr. Lunt: With this sweet baby! It's Mr. Lunt's Robot Call! If you want robots big and small, blow it once, you'll get them all with Mr. Lunt's Robot Call!
- Larry: And this will do what?
- Mr. Lunt: It's Mr. Lunt's Robot Call! If you want robots big and small, blow it once, you'll get them all with Mr. Lunt's Robot Call! It's like a duck call for robots. Give it a try.
- Larry: Okay!
- Jerry: What was that?
- Archibald: I didn't hear anything.
- Jerry: That call, it split the clouds apart. That call, it echoes in my heart. And though my heart is made of steel, when I hear that call I feel. And so I turn on metal feet to find my love, at last we meet!
- Larry: And now I know at last that it is true, I can be good and have my robot too!