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This is the transcript for Playground Tales.


(Scene opens to Junior rushing to school.)

Junior: I am so late! I hope Mr. Beanbum didn't notice!

(Scene switches to Mr. Beanbum standing in front of an olive dog.)

Mr. Beanbum: Okay, little guy, don't move.

(The olive dog opens its mouth as a whistle sound is heard.)

Mr. Beanbum: Gimme back my whistle!

(Mr. Beanbum chases after the olive dog, at the same time that Junior comes out the door and onto the playground.)

Junior: I can't believe I got away with- (gasps)

(Camera pans out to show several students looking beaten up and most of the playground equipment overturned.)

Junior: What happened?

Carrot Boy: Gary Garlic happened!

Junior: What?

Carrot Boy: That new kid! He's ruined the playground! Look at this! How will we play? How will we live?

Junior: Get a hold of yourself. Why don't you tell me what happened?

Carrot Boy: It all started a long time ago!

Junior: Only five minutes late!

Carrot Boy: It all started five minutes ago!

(A flashback starts up, showing Mr. Beanbum leading the students outside to the playground.)

Mr. Beanbum: Okey-dokey, children. Time for gym class!

(An olive dog suddenly shows up and eats Mr. Beanbum's whistle.)

Mr. Beanbum: That's my favorite whistle! It's also my only whistle, but still!

Corn Boy: What should we do for class?

Mr. Beanbum: Uh, just, I don't know, play games and stuff! Get back here!

Children: Yay!

Carrot Boy: Dibs on swings! I call dibs! Everybody hear me call dibs?

Children: Yes!

Carrot Boy: I don't know which I like more, the part when I go forward or the part when I go-

(The ground suddenly starts shaking, before a garlic boy appears in front of the carrot boy.)

Gary: Gary Garlic's the name, and destroying playgrounds and ruining fun and being an all-over meanie is my game!

(Junior interrupts the flashback.)

Junior: Wait, he actually said that? That seems a little unnatural.

Carrot Boy: (Off-screen) Hey, it's what I heard, man! Let me tell the story!

(The flashback resumes after that.)

Gary: (laughing)

(Gary approaches the tetherball pole where the corn boy is as Gary catches the tetherball then throws it at the corn boy, which hits the corn boy and sends him flying. Gary next approaches the merry-go-round, where another carrot boy is.)

Gary: Merry going, going, gone!

(Gary spins the merry-go-round so hard, which causes it to get spun around while the second carrot boy is still on it. The merry-go-round spins past the swing set, where the first carrot boy is.)

Carrot Boy: Please not me, please not me, please not me.

(The merry-go-round spins past the swing set again, before Gary approaches the swing set from behind.)

Gary: Need a push?

Carrot Boy: Oh, no! That's okay! Don't worry!

(Gary pushes the carrot boy anyway, which causes the carrot boy to get spun around on the swing set while Gary laughs, at the flashback ends.)

Carrot Boy: And I've been here ever since.

Junior: Where's this kid now?

Carrot Boy: Dave was the last kid to see him. Ask him.

Junior: Okay, thanks. (leaves)

Carrot Boy: Yeah, no problem. Now could someone please let me down?!

(The swing comes untied, freeing the carrot boy.)

Junior: Hey, Dave. Where did this Gary Garlic kid go?

Dave: Well, let me tell you.

(Another flashback starts up, showing the same events as before.)

Mr. Beanbum: (blows whistle) Children, today, let me tell you about the most amazing, wonderful, and... amazing thing. This here whistle.

(The olive dog suddenly bounds out of nowhere and eats the whistle.)

Mr. Beanbum: (screaming) You're gonna have to entertain yourselves, children! I'll be just a minute!

(The children go to play, while Dave plays basketball, making the first basket. Dave tries to make another basket, but the ball bounces off the hoop and bounces over to Gary, who picks up the ball.)

Dave: Hey, you're new, right? Gary Garlic? Hi, my name's Dave, Dave Brown!

Gary: Looks to me like your name is weak!

Dave: What?

Gary: You're so weak you open bags of chips with scissors! You're so weak you can't even do a push-down! You're so weak you're seven days in a row!

Dave: Nuh-uh! I am-

(Gary does a push-up without any problems.)

Gary: Weak!

Dave: That's not true!

(Gary spins a basketball on his invisible finger while lifting a broccoli girl and a pea boy in the other 'arm'.)

Gary: Weak!

Dave: I'm not weak!

(Gary next reads a book while holding up a sign reading "weak".)

Dave: Uh...

Broccoli Girl: It says, "Weak"!

Dave: I know what it says! Okay, you think you're so strong? Prove it!

(Gary throws the book aside.)

Gary: No problemo!

(Gary picks up the basketball then starts spinning around before throwing the basketball so hard that it flies directly out of the playground.)

Dave: Hey, that was our only basketball!

Gary: Throw farther than that, and I'll go get it for you!

Dave: I can throw way farther!

(Dave picks up a football and prepares to throw it, spinning around, but the football just falls down in front of him.)

Gary: (laughing)

Dave: I didn't get a good grip!

Gary: Yeah? Well, you need a grip on reality, kid!

Dave: Kid? We're in the same grade!

Gary: Well, you-

(Flashback ends.)

Dave: "-sure look like a baby to me!"

Junior: Ouch.

Dave: But then I had a great comeback, a real zinger! I just can't remember it right now. He left after that. He's at the other end of the playground, plotting his next attack, most likely.

Junior: I don't know. This is sounding kinda far-fetched.

Dave: It's true! And it was terrifying! Ask the toddler preschool kid! She saw it!

(Junior approaches a female preschool-aged pea who is playing in the sandbox.)

Junior: Did you see what happened today?

Pea Girl: Uh-huh, I saws it. It was weal scawy!

(Another flashback starts up.)

Mr. Beanbum: Adult words, adult words, big enough words that are hard to understand!

(The olive dog bounds up to Mr. Beanbum and eats his whistle.)

Mr. Beanbum: That's a bad doggy, what that is! Bad, bad doggy!

Carrot Boy: Having fun is fun!

Broccoli Girl: Flowers are good smelling! Candy is my favorite!

Pea Girl #2: And my favorite is reading scripture!

(Camera pans over to Gary Garlic.)

Gary: Fun over!

All: (gasps)

(Gary Garlic spins so fast that he knocks all of the other playground equipment over as everyone runs screaming, before Gary comes up to the female pea in the sandbox.)

Gary: Um, scawy!

(The flashback ends.)

Pea Girl: It was so, so scawy!

Junior: That does sound scary. I'm sorry that happened.

Pea Girl: Is okay.

(Junior and the female pea come up to Dave.)

Junior: He's down there?

Dave: Yep.

(Gary is shown standing next to the overturned merry-go-round.)

Junior: Well, I'm gonna... talk it over with him... tomorrow.

(Scene switches to Junior arriving home, while Captain Mike is sitting outside in a lawn chair while reading the newspaper.)

Captain Mike: Hey, bud. How was school?

Junior: Oh, fine.

Captain Mike: Fine? You should tell your face! (laughing) Dad joke!

(Junior stares in disapproval.)

Captain Mike: I'm just kidding, son. Sorry. What happened?

Junior: There's this new kid at school, Gary Garlic. He's a monster.

Captain Mike: A monster enrolled at your school?!

Junior: Dad! No more dad jokes!

Captain Mike: (laughing) No promises, Junior.

Junior: He's just so mean to everyone on the playground.

Captain Mike: He was being mean to you?

Junior: Well, no. I wasn't there. But I heard about it. Apparently, he threw a basketball really far! Like, they have no idea how far it went!

(Mayor Archibald passes by from behind, before getting hit by the basketball, which knocks him over forward, before he starts crawling across the ground like a caterpillar.)

Captain Mike: Well, do you think you should try talking to Gary?

Junior: I guess. Maybe.

Captain Mike: Hey, Lisa! Can you help me out with a Bible verse?

(Lisa comes out from the house.)

Lisa: 1 Samuel 16:7 says, "People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."

Captain Mike: Thanks, hon.

Lisa: You betcha! (goes back inside the house again)

Captain Mike: Maybe Gary is mean, but it's really easy to only look at someone's outward appearance.

(Junior thinks about what Captain Mike told him. Scene switches to the next day at the playground.)

Junior: Got your nose!

Pea Girl: (giggling)

(Dave the carrot boy approach Junior.)

Dave: You gonna talk to that garlic kid today?

(Junior looks ahead at Gary, who is standing by himself while bouncing a basketball. Another carrot boy and a pea approach Gary, who growls at them, which scares them away.)

Junior: I sure am.

Dave: Good.

(Junior starts to approach Gary, while Dave, the carrot boy, and the female pea watch.)

Gary: Watch out! I am so strong I could break anything!

Junior: Gary Garlic?

Gary: Who are you? What are you doing here? (roars)

Junior: I was wondering if you wanted to play?

Gary: (roars, but stops) Wait, what? Hmm. Haven't you heard? I'm a monster!

Junior: I'd rather figure that out for myself. So, wanna play?

Gary: What's the point? You'll only end up hating me.

Junior: What do you mean?

Gary: All those kids! I thought they wanted me to play, but they all ended up hating me.

Junior: Why don't you tell me what happened?

Gary: Okay. It all went down like this.

(Another flashback starts up.)

Gary: (V/O) Mr. Beanbum took us outside for gym class.

Mr. Beanbum: Okay, children. Time for gym class!

(The olive dog suddenly comes by and eats Mr. Beanbum's whistle.)

Mr. Beanbum: Oh no! Without that whistle, how will I end class? Kids'll run around forever and have no control! You come back here with my whistle!

(Gary approaches the carrot boy, who is swinging on the swings.)

Gary: (V/O) Some kid asked me to push him on the swings, so, I did. But it didn't go so well.

(Gary pushes the carrot boy on the swings too hard, which causes the carrot boy to get tied up on the swing set.)

Carrot Boy: (wailing)

Gary: (V/O) He got really mad. But I didn't do it on purpose.

(Gary next approaches the broccoli girl who is playing tetherball.)

Gary: (V/O) Then some other kids asked me to play, and I didn't think it could get any worse.

(Gray throws the tetherball but throws it too hard as it hits the broccoli girl. Gary next approaches a pea boy on the merry-go-round.)

Gary: (V/O) Then it got much worse.

(Gary gives the merry-go-round a push, but pushes it too hard, which causes it to get spun around so hard with the pea boy still on it that it becomes airborne. Gary then meets up with Dave, the carrot boy, and another pea boy.)

Dave: Think you're pretty strong, huh?

Gary: I guess.

Dave: Let's see how far you can throw this ball!

(Dave throws the basketball to Gary, who catches it. Gary then throws the basketball so hard that it flies directly out of the playground, which Dave, the carrot boy, and the pea boy are surprised about, before Dave angrily faces Gary.)

Dave: That was our only ball!

Gary: Well, you told me to throw it!

Dave: Go play by yourself!

Gary: Maybe I will! I don't want to play with you anyway!

(Gary starts to leave.)

Dave: I'll show you all how to throw a ball! (pulls out a football) Watch this!

(Dave throws the football, but it only lands one foot directly in front of him, which the carrot boy and the pea boy laugh about.)

Dave: I didn't get a good grip!

(The flashback ends.)

Gary: And that's what really happened.

Junior: So you were just trying to fit in.

Gary: Yeah! And I lost control of my strength. It makes me so angry. (roars ferociously)

(Gary goes over to a nearby tree and pulls it directly out of the ground while still roaring, but stops, just as a lobster falls out of the tree.)

Gary: (sighs) Sorry.

(Gary places the tree back in the ground again.)

Gary: (sadly) I'm a monster.

Junior: I don't think you're a monster. Seems to me like you're a good kid who just needs to learn how to control his strength. Let me help you out. We'll show those guys who you really are.

Gary: Really?

Junior: Yeah, I'll help! Come on!

(Junior and Gary approach the other kids.)

Junior: Hey, can we join your game?

Carrot Boy: What are you doing?!

Dave: He'll destroy us all!

Broccoli Girl: (gasps)

Junior: Everybody, listen up! This is Gary Garlic, and he's my friend!

Dave: (stammering) Your friend?

Junior: Yeah! Gary's great! Hey, Gary, why don't you give Sean a push on the swings?

(The carrot boy, named Sean, is nervous before Junior approaches him.)

Junior: It's okay, don't worry.

(Junior approaches Gary again.)

Junior: Try pushing on both sides.

(Sean gets on the swing, before Gary comes up to him from behind, then pushes so hard that causes Sean to get spun around. This time, Gary is able to catch Sean before going over to the other side and pushing him from the other side, now pushing Sean from opposite sides of the swing set.)

Sean: (laughing) Hey, this is awesome! This is the best swinging I've ever done! Whee!

(Junior next approaches Dave.)

Junior: Hey, Dave! Toss me the ball!

(Dave tosses the football to Junior, who then picks it up.)

Junior: Hey, Gary! Catch!

(Junior now throws the football to Gary, who catches it.)

Junior: Bet you can't hit the merry-go-round back in place!

Gary: Oh yeah?

(Gary throws the football as it hits the merry-go-round, causing it to fall back down in place once again.)

All: (cheering)

Junior: Gary has something he'd like to say.

Gary: I'm sorry I threw your ball so far. I can't control my strength sometimes.

Dave: And I'm sorry we weren't very friendly in the first place.

Gary: Well, let's bygones be bygones.

Dave: (confused) What is that? French?

Junior: It means, let's be friends.

(Music starts playing.)

Gary: (singing) Look at my muscles!

My great big muscles!

As you can see,

I've got muscles on my muscles

And though my outside May look good

What counts is What's beneath the hood

If what's inside our heart's not good,

Then we got trouble Strength of character

Is what God prefers It's even better

Than the shiniest exteriors

Strength of character

Strength of character

We've got to let God go to work On your interiors

He'll work inside of me and you

Until the best of us comes through

And the more we grow,

The more we show our strength

Our strength of character

Our strength of character

That's what I'm talkin' about, baby!


(The song ends as everyone laughs.)

Pea Girl: (giggling) You're my favowite monster! I mean, fwiend!

(The sound of a whistle blowing is heard.)

Mr. Beanbum: Okay, children! Gym class is over! Everyone back inside!

(The olive dog opens its mouth again as the whistle sound is heard again. Everyone goes back inside the class, while the olive dog spits the whistle back out then catches it.)

Mr. Beanbum: Not my favorite whistle!

(The screen irises out on the olive dog, ending the episode.)