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This is the transcript for Pie Fight!.


(The episode opens in the town square, where a pie contest is underway. Petunia is serving as the announcer, while Pa Grape, Jean-Claude, and Phillipe are the taste testers for the pies.)

Petunia: In a few more minutes, the judges will have tasted the pies. Then we'll know who has won this year's pie contest.

Bob: Can you see if they've tried mine yet? I'm taking Madame Blueberry down this year. It's pecan with a crumble.

Larry: Mine's sarshmallow.

Bob: What's that?

Larry: Sardines with marshmallow.

(Jean-Claude tastes Larry's pie, which he finds to taste disgusting.)

Jean-Claude: Le poisson!

Madame Blueberry: Bob, you look excited.

Larry: Bob says he's taking you down.

(Madame Blueberry is surprised when she hears this.)

Bob: (chuckling nervously) Just a little playful, competitive banter.

(Once the pies have been tasted, Petunia checks the results of the contest.)

Bob: Come on, come on.

Petunia: We have a winner. By unanimous decision, the winner of the Annual Petunia Rhubarb Pie Contest...

(Madame Blueberry prepares for the results.)

Petunia: ...Bob the Tomato!

Madame Blueberry: (surprised) What?

Bob: (gasping)

Larry: Whoa! Way to go, Bob!

(Bob and Larry then high-five each other in happiness.)

Bob: (laughing) Yes! I did it! I knew I could do it!

Petunia: Congratulations, Bob. You win this trophy and the grand prize: a lifetime supply of pies from Pa Grape's shop.

Bob: (chuckling) Thank you. I'd like to thank old Granny 'Mato. She left me with the recipe, and I've passed it on to you all.

(Everyone cheers for Bob's victory, before Petunia announces the second place winner.)

Petunia: And our second place winner is... Madame Blueberry!

Bob: (chuckling) Second place. Great job, Madame Blueberry.

(Madame Blueberry reluctantly goes up to accept the second place trophy.)

Petunia: Madame Blueberry, you've won first place every year for a long time now. But second place is still really good. Any words for us?

Madame Blueberry: But... but I... But...

(Finding that she can't say anything else, Madame Blueberry hops back into the crowd, while everyone else cheers for her as well. Madame Blueberry then passes by Bob, who is congratulated by Larry, Jimmy, and Jerry, as they carry him off. Ichabeezer then approaches Madame Blueberry afterwards.)

Ichabeezer: Madame Blueberry, you don't really think Bob the Tomato could beat you at pie baking, do you?

Madame Blueberry: I must admit, I am flabbergasted.

Ichabeezer: Well, I smell something fishy. I say you look into it. If he cheated, someone ought to tell on him.

(Ichabeezer then leaves, leaving Madame Blueberry behind. While everyone else is helping themselves to some pie, Madame Blueberry sneaks up to the table where Bob's pie is kept, before taking out a slice and placing it in a paper bag.)

Madame Blueberry: I'm going to get to the bottom of this.

(At Pa Grape's store, Bob and Larry have obtained a huge supply of pies from Pa.)

Pa: There you go. That's all I can give you right now. You finish that, and I'm sure there'll be more waiting when you come back.

Larry: Thanks for the pies.

(Bob and Larry leave while carrying the pies, before Petunia comes up next to Pa.)

Petunia: Surprise win this year, huh? Who knew Bob could bake?

(Madame Blueberry then enters the store angrily.)

Madame Blueberry: I knew he couldn't bake. I think we have a fake pie on our hands.

Pa: Uh, how do you know that?

Madame Blueberry: Well, this is a slice of Bob's pie. And this is a slice from Amaze Pie's Gourmet Pie Shop. It's a gourmet pie shop just in the back bedroom of the house.

Petunia: You think Bob bought a pie from a pie shop, then entered it?

Pa: Well, is there any way we can know for sure?

Madame Blueberry: Let's have a judge do a blind taste test.

(Outside, Archibald comes by while carrying a paper cup full of some kind of liquid.)

Archibald: Hot tea is my favorite.

(Archibald drinks the tea, but it's too hot, as he ends up spitting it out afterwards.)

Archibald: (slurred) Aah! This tea scalded my tongue! (waves his tongue) Now I won't be able to taste anything for hours.

(Archibald throws the cup in the dumpster and continues on before being approached by Madame Blueberry and Pa.)

Madame Blueberry: Oh, Mayor Archibald, we need your well-developed skill at judging all things.

Archibald: (slurred) Oh! At your service.

Madame Blueberry: Would you take a bite out of this pie?

Archibald: (slurred) Free pie?! Sure!

(Archibald takes a bite out of the pie, before he waves his tongue once again.)

Pa: And now try this one.

(Archibald then takes a bite out of the other slice of pie afterwards.)

Madame Blueberry: Do you taste a difference?

(After swallowing the bite of pie, Archibald waves his tongue again.)

Archibald: (slurred) No, I can't say I taste a difference.

(Madame Blueberry then looks at Pa after that, feeling that she has proven her point. At Bob and Larry's home, Bob and Larry have gotten all of the pies all stacked up.)

Bob: Madame Blueberry's pie was pretty good.

Larry: It sure was, but she didn't realize she was up against a pie kind of guy.

(Music starts playing.)

Larry: (singing) For breakfast, lunch, and dinner

One thing is a must

Bob: (singing) It's a round, delicious winner

Under whipped cream or a crust

Larry: (singing) So can anybody tell us

Who it's gonna hurt

Bob: (singing) If for every meal we rock it

Both: (singing) With nothing but dessert?

I'm down with pie

Larry: (singing) Got a million reasons why

Both: (singing) I'm down with pie

Bob: (singing) I love it, that's no lie

Both: (singing) I'm down with pie

Larry: (singing) On my play or in the sky

Both: (singing) Any way you slice it

I'm a pie kind of guy

Bob: (singing) And look at all the choices

Larry: (singing) They don't have to be all sweet

Bob: (singing) Some have corn and mashed potatoes

Larry: (singing) And some are stuffed with meat

Bob: (singing) Some are nicely spicy

Larry: (singing) But if sweets still makes your day

Bob: (singing) There's peanut butter and jelly pie

Both: (singing) How about a slice of PBJ?


Bob: (singing) I love it, that's no lie

Larry: (singing) I'm down with p-p-p-pie

On my plate or in the sky

Both: (singing) Any way you slice it

I'm a pie kind of guy



(The song ends just as the doorbell rings, as Larry loses his balance and knocks a few pies over as they fall on Bob. Bob shakes the pies off before going to answer the door, finding Petunia and Pa at the door.)

Bob: Oh, hi.

Pa: Bob, we tested your pie recipe against a pie from the Amaze Pies Shop. And the judge couldn't taste the difference.

Bob: What? My Granny 'Mato made that recipe. I made that pie from scratch!

Larry: Yeah, and ingredients.

Petunia: I'm sorry, Bob.

Pa: Let's have a rematch. Tomorrow, at the town center. And this time, you can bake your pies in front of us.

Bob: OK.

(Scene switches to the next day, where everyone has gathered in the town center, chattering amongst themselves about what's happened.)

Petunia: Everybody, please settle down.

Male voice #1: Bob cheated!

Male voice #2: Yeah, Madame Blueberry should have won first prize!

Male voice #1: Bob can't bake!

(Everyone starts shouting all at once before Bob comes up to the front to say something.)

Bob: I did not cheat. I made a really good pie! Is that a crime?

Madame Blueberry: It is if you consider buying a pie from a pie shop "making a good pie".

Bob: I'd say that too if I was a second-placer!

Madame Blueberry: You gorilla!

Bob: Ginger root!

Pa: Your pie contest has become an insult contest.

Petunia: I don't know what to do. The way they're talking to one another is terrible.

Pa: They need to learn that hurtful words are hard to take back.

Petunia: I agree. But how?

Pa: I have an idea. But first, you need to start that contest.

Petunia: Ladies and gentlemen, let the pie baking begin.

(The contest has now started, with Bob, Larry, Madame Blueberry, Jimmy, and Jerry now preparing to bake their pies. Larry throws aside a couple of containers before he just takes out a tin of sardines. Jimmy is stirring in a bowl before he takes a bite of the contents that are on the spoon. Jerry is attempting to open a bag of flour before he throws the bag into the bowl, but it flies back up and hits Jerry in the face, leaving him with flour on his face. Bob is sprinkling some powder into the bowl before stirring up the contents and puts them onto his pie. All the while, Madame Blueberry is eyeing him suspiciously, while she is aligning her pie. After Bob has gotten his pie ready, he hops up to the oven and places the pie in the oven.)

Bob: Well, did I cheat this time, Professor Pie?

Madame Blueberry: Very funny, Bob.

(The pies are now ready, as the contestants take the pies out from their ovens and place them on the table, where Ichabeezer is waiting. Bob and Madame Blueberry still stare angrily at each other, at the same time that Pa comes up to Ichabeezer and whispers something to him, which Ichabeezer understands.)

Ichabeezer: Everybody, a new rule has just been submitted to me from the, um... pie contest authority. Listen closely if you would like to win the biggest trophy ever!

(Ichabeezer then gestures to a huge trophy standing next to the table.)

Jimmy: (Off-screen) Look at the size of that thing.

Pa: In order to win, everyone must now un-bake their pies!

Petunia: Whoever can separate all the ingredients back out, and put them back into their packaging, will be the winner.

Madame Blueberry: OK, sure. (becomes surprised) Wait, you want us to un-bake a pie?

Larry: How are you supposed to do that?

Ichabeezer: Whatever. You have 20 minutes! Go!

(Bob, Larry, Madame Blueberry, Jimmy, and Jerry each frantically take their pies off the table before rushing back to their tables to try to un-bake their pies.)

Jimmy: This is impossible!

Larry: Come out, little sardines. Come out!

Bob: What have I got here? OK, that's where this goes. There's the flour, then this. Scrape this... This is not...

Madame Blueberry: That's hazelnut powder. I know for a fact that Amaze Pies does not use hazelnut powder in their recipe. (becomes shocked) Oh, no. I was wrong about Bob!

Bob: Come on, come on!

(Madame Blueberry then comes up to Bob from behind after that.)

Madame Blueberry: Bob, I need to admit something.

(Before Madame Blueberry can apologize to Bob, Bob accidentally flings his pie into the air before the pie then lands on Madame Blueberry's face.)

Madame Blueberry: (shouting)

Bob: Ah! Oops!

(Madame Blueberry stumbles around with the pie still on her face, before she accidentally bumps into Jerry, knocking him over, and also causing him to throw his pie, as it hits Jimmy on the head.)

Jimmy: Aah! Pie fight!

(Jimmy then throws the pie at Bob's direction, but Bob quickly ducks, so Ichabeezer instead gets hit with the pie. Ichabeezer then picks up another pie and throws it, as it hits Archibald, knocking him back. Mr. Lunt also throws a pie, before everyone starts throwing pies all over the town center. Petunia and Pa narrowly manage to dodge the flying pies, though Pa gets hit in the face as well, before Petunia also throws a pie.)

Larry: Pie bomb!

(The pie that Larry throws suddenly boomerangs back to him before hitting him in the face.)

Ichabeezer: (laughing) This is even better than I imagined!

(Bob manages to dodge a few pies that land in front of him, before Madame Blueberry comes up to him again.)

Madame Blueberry: Bob, please!

(Madame Blueberry gets hit in the face with another pie before she can even talk to Bob again. Bob then turns over his table and uses it as a shield, before he throws more pies, but ducks when more pies hit the side of the table. Madame Blueberry joins Bob behind the table.)

Bob: Hey, this is my shield!

Madame Blueberry: Bob, I'm sorry. I was wrong about you. I saw your ingredients. I now know you didn't cheat.

Bob: What? Huh...

Ichabeezer: (chuckles) This is chaos! Keep going!

(Ichabeezer is suddenly hit with a whole barrage of pies.)

Ichabeezer: Mm. Sarshmallow.

Madame Blueberry: Everybody, please stop!

(The pie fight immediately stops, though Junior does end up getting hit with a stray pie.)

Madame Blueberry: Before this goes any further, I want to apologize to Bob. I was jealous that he beat me, and I said mean things about him.

Bob: I got carried away saying mean things to you too.

Petunia: You know, there's a good lesson here. Pies are like mean words.

Ichabeezer: Oh, no, here we go.

Larry: Delicious and better with ice cream?

Petunia: Once you say them, they cannot be unsaid. You cannot un-bake the pie. You cannot un-say the words.

Madame Blueberry: I guess we've got a lot of cleaning up to do.

Pa: What a waste of great pies.

Jean-Claude and Phillipe: Oui, oui, it is a tragedy!

Ichabeezer: Speak for yourselves. (chuckles) That was the most interesting pie contest I've ever seen!

(Petunia soon comes up with an idea.)

Petunia: Everybody, gather what you can together. I have an idea.

(Soon, everyone has pitched in, salvaging the pies that had gotten thrown around, before they all work together to place the pie pieces in the trophy.)

Larry: It's... It's beautiful.

Petunia: Everybody, we did it. We invented pie pie.

Jean-Claude: This is magnifique!

Bob: It's a pie made of pie! (laughs) Pie pie!

Madame Blueberry: Bravo!

Pa: Who's ready to dig in?

(Bob and Madame Blueberry are the first ones to take the first bite of the pie pie, before everybody also follows suit afterwards, before the episode ends.)