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This is the transcript for Mayoral Bike Lessons.


(Scene opens to the top view of the Countertop, as music plays.)

Chorus: (singing) Oh oh oh oh oh oh

Oh oh oh oh oh oh

Larry: (singing) I'm the type who likes to hike

And I'll play sports any day or night

I get a thrill flying a kite

I take it to an awesome height!

Football, baseball, basketball, soccer

All these I really like

Swimming, sailing, surfing

And skate boards

I get mad air and it's out of sight!

But since I was a child, just a tyke

The one thing that I love

Is to ride, ride, ride my bike!

Chorus: (singing) Oh oh oh oh oh oh

Oh oh oh oh oh oh

Larry: (singing) I do cool tricks that are so sick!

It takes practice

Just to get 'em right

But it's the thing I love the most

Yes, I love, love to ride my bike!

Since I was a child,

Just a little tyke

The one thing I love

Is to ride, ride, ride my bike

Chorus: (singing) Oh oh oh oh oh oh

Larry: (singing) Ride, ride, ride my bike

Chorus: (singing) Oh oh oh oh oh oh

Larry: (singing) Ride, ride, ride my bike

(The song ends, but Larry runs into Mayor Archibald, which sends Mayor Archibald, Larry, and his bike flying, until Larry lands upside-down on the bike's handlebars, while Mayor Archibald is now sitting in the bike's seat.)

Larry: Hey there, Archie! I'm heading to Pa's to sign up for the community Bike-A-Thon. Are you gonna enter?

Archibald: Larry! Get me off this thing!

Larry: No prob. Just drop me off at Pa's.

(The bike swerves around corners while Larry and Mayor Archibald are still riding out of control, at the same time that the bike is now heading towards the outside wall of Pa Grape's Store.)

Archibald: (screaming)

(The bike then crashes off-screen, as a stray wheel bounces away. Scene switches to show Larry and Mayor Archibald laying on the ground.)

Larry: I normally use brakes to stop. Never thought to use the wall before.

(Larry gets up.)

Larry: Come on! Let's go sign up for a Bike-A-Thon!

(Archibald gets up.)

Archibald: (nervously) I'm... uh... I'm leaving!

(Archibald leaves frantically after that.)

Larry: Hmm. Must be important mayor stuff.

(Archibald hops down the sidewalk, then hides behind the wall when the sound of a horn honking is heard, before a magenta convertible drives by then stops. A pea cameraman hops out of the convertible, followed by a slick-looking male broccoli.)

Corn Woman: Hey! That's Beau Rockley!

Phillipe: From TV?

Carrot Man: He's the host of that gossip show that humiliates people and exposes their flaws!

(Beau then leaps in front of the townspeople.)

Beau: That's right! Beau Rockley's here to find gossip!

(Beau hops towards the door of Pa's store, then stops and turns around.)

Beau: Watch your back!

(Beau then smiles as his teeth sparkle with an audible 'ding'. Archibald peeks out from behind the wall then hides once again. Scene switches to inside Pa Grape's Store, as Larry finishes writing on a clipboard that he hands to Pa.)

Larry: All signed up! Can't wait for the Bike-A-Thon.

(Beau and his cameraman enter Pa's store.)

Beau: I gotta get some real dirt soon if our show is gonna be a big hit!

Pa: Dirt and compost is in aisle three.

Beau: Not that kind of dirt! Gossip!

Pa: We don't sell that here.

Beau: Well, I'm more interested in finding some kind of gossip about a public figure! Got any politicians around here?

Larry: Just Mayor Archibald. But, he doesn't gossip, he just rides his bike directly into walls.

Beau: (interested) Really? Hmm. Does the mayor not know how to ride a bike? (grinning) That could be just what my show needs.

Pa: We have a good mayor. Why not make a show about that?

Beau: You can see that in "The Nice, Good Things About Helpful People Show". Oh, wait. It doesn't exist because no one would watch it! (chuckling)

(Beau leaves the store. Scene switches to Beau talking with his cameraman.)

Beau: I'm gonna find that mayor, I'm gonna embarrass him, and it's gonna be gold, Pete! Pure gold!

(Beau and his cameraman get in the convertible and drive off again, while the camera pans over to show Larry watching them drive away. Larry gets on his bike again and rides past a nearby dumpster. Mayor Archibald suddenly pops out of the dumpster, grabs Larry, and pulls him inside.)

Archibald: Larry, I'm in trouble and I need your help. I... I don't know how to ride a bike.

Larry: (surprised) You don't know how to ride a bike?!

Archibald: (shushes)

(Scene cuts to outside the dumpster as Corn Woman passes by, but stops when she hears what Larry said.)

Corn Woman: Who doesn't know how to ride a bike?

(Larry frantically pops up out of the dumpster and faces Corn Woman.)

Larry: Uh, nobody!

Corn Woman: That's good, because that would be really a scandal, especially for, like, an elected official or something like that.

(Corn Woman leaves as Larry goes back into the dumpster again.)

Archibald: I can't think of anything more embarrassing than not knowing how to ride a bike! (gasps) You must teach me how to ride before the Bike-A-Thon!

Larry: Of course, Archie. No prob.

Archibald: And please don't tell anyone about this! I can trust you, can't I?

Larry: Of course! I never told anyone about Madame Blueberry's toupee.

Archibald: Oh good. (becomes surprised at what Larry said) Wait, what?

(Scene switches to on TV at Bob and Larry's house, where the TV show's title "Behind Their Backs" appears on the screen. Beau then appears on the screen after that.)

Beau: Jenna Chive, the best voice in show business. Or is she? When we take away her autotune, she sounds just like this!

(The sound of a horse whinnying is heard.)

Larry: (laughing) Wow, that's terrible!

(Bob comes into the room.)

Bob: Larry, why are you watching this?

(Bob takes the remote and turns off the TV.)

Bob: That's a gossip show! They talk about people behind their backs!

Larry: I know! It's hilarious!

Bob: (growling)

Larry: Ichabeezer watches it! And the French Peas! Even... (pauses, looks around, then leans in front of Bob) Petunia.

Bob: See? You're gossiping. It's a bad influence!

Larry: It's just a TV show.

Bob: You know what Proverbs 20:19 says?

Larry: Hmm. I don't know. Something like, "A gossip betrays a confidence".

Bob: (gasps) Um... that's right.

Larry: What's that mean?

Bob: It means that if you talk about people behind their backs, no one will trust you.

(Larry turns the TV back on.)

Larry: Shh! Show's back on!

Bob: (groaning)

(Bob leaves the room after that while Larry still resumes watching TV. Scene switches to the next day.)

Larry: Welcome to Larry's Bicycle Training Camp!

(Larry fixes a screw on the bike with a wrench, before throwing the wrench aside afterwards.)

Larry: First lesson, just sit down.

(Mayor Archibald, who is wearing a bike helmet, approaches the bike, before he sits on the seat, laughing all the way. Seconds later, the bike suddenly flips him over. Larry hops up to the fallen Mayor Archibald and the flipped-over bike.)

Larry: Okay. Maybe I'll give you a push.

(Scene switches to the exterior of Pa Grape's Store.)

Beau: (Off-screen) That Larry's gonna crack!

(Scene switches to inside the store.)

Beau: I just know it! He just needs a little... persuading.

(Camera whip pans over to a shiny brand new bike, as Beau starts laughing.)

Cameraman: You need help, man.

(Scene switches to Larry and Mayor Archibald riding bikes at a leisurely pace.)

Larry: There you go! There you go!

Archibald: (laughing) I'm riding! I'm riding a bike! I never thought I could, but here I am! (laughing)

Larry: Tomorrow, we take off the training wheels!

(Mayor Archibald stops in shock while Larry rides on ahead.)

Archibald: (gulps)

(The bike flips Mayor Archibald over again. Scene switches to Larry hopping down the street next to Pa Grape's Store.)

Larry: Good ol' Archie, learning to ride a bike. Just gotta fight the urge to tell everyone I know.

(Madame Blueberry comes up to Larry.)

Madame Blueberry: Why, hello, Larry. What did you do today?

Larry: Oh, I taught Archie, I... b-b-bald eagle!

(Larry jumps off while Madame Blueberry looks up at the sky. Larry comes back again after a few seconds.)

Larry: Not that there's anything wrong with being bald.

(Larry rushes off again.)

Madame Blueberry: (gasps)

(Larry enters the store while breathing a sigh of relief. Larry then comes up to one of the freezers, opens the door, takes out a carton, then comes up to Pa.)

Pa: Ready to have some fun at Bike-A-Thon, Larry?

Larry: I sure am! Know who else is? (gasps, groans)

(Larry pays for the carton then leaves the store quickly.)

Pa: (unsure) Uh-huh.

(Larry exits the store while carrying the carton then turns a corner.)

Larry: (sighs) That was a close one.

(The sound of a bicycle bell ringing is heard. Beau is riding the bicycle, riding it around Larry in a circle, much to Larry's surprise.)

Larry: That bike is amazing!

Beau: What? This old thing?

Larry: Oh. Hand-painted flames, multicolored tassels. How many gears is that? Infinity gears?!

Beau: Oh, like it! But you can have it, if you tell me whether or not the mayor can ride a bike.

Larry: (nervously) No way. Nuh-uh. I promised the mayor that I would absolutely, positively not tell anyone his secret.

Beau: Which is?

Larry: That he can't ride a bike! (gasps)

Beau: Yes! I knew it! That's just the juicy gossip we need! (hops off the bike) Here you go! You've earned it.

(Beau gives the bike to Larry, then leaves, while Larry is still upset about what happened. Scene switches to Larry meeting up with Mayor Archibald while riding his brand new bike.)

Archibald: Larry, why so glum?

Larry: I think I goofed.

Archibald: You didn't goof. I never thought I'd be able to ride a bike, but thanks to you, I believe I can. How is that a goof?

Larry: Okay. Let's get those training wheels off.

(Mayor Archibald hops alongside the bike before jumping on it and riding it once again.)

Archibald: I'm doing it! I'm doing it!

(Beau and his cameraman drive up next to Mayor Archibald.)

Beau: Mayor Archibald! Inside sources claim you cannot ride a bike! Care to comment?

Archibald: (surprised) What?

(Mayor Archibald ends up losing control of his bike, swerving all over the place, before the front wheel falls off which causes Mayor Archibald to do a wheelie. The bike then falls apart, leaving behind nothing but the back wheel, which Mayor Archibald is perched precariously on, then ends up tumbling on the wheel until crashing into a lamppost. Beau drives up to where Archibald crashed.)

Beau: This is such gold, Pete!

(Larry catches up to Mayor Archibald.)

Beau: Thanks for the tip, Larry! Some friend you are!

(Beau drives away while Larry approaches the fallen Archibald.)

Archibald: (forlornly) You told?

Larry: Archie, I-

Archibald: You gossiped behind my back! (sobbing) I never want to speak to you again!

(Mayor Archibald sadly leaves after that, leaving Larry, who is still guilty about what he did. Scene switches to "Behind Their Backs" being shown on TV once again. Beau appears on the screen once again.)

Beau: Archibald Asparagus, mayor, neighbor, bumbling bike buffoon?

(Footage of Mayor Archibald losing control of his bike plays.)

Beau: Mayor Archibald claims he can ride a bike, but you be the judge.

(The scene of Mayor Archibald running into the lamppost plays and rewinds over and over again. Camera zooms out to show this being played on Bob and Larry's TV.)

Bob: Poor Archibald. How did they find that out?

Larry: Beau Rockley hypnotized me with his bike! I couldn't help myself!

Bob: (surprised) You told?

Larry: (sadly) Yes. This is all my fault! And I need to make things right!

(Scene switches to Bob and Larry approaching Mayor Archibald's clock house at night. Larry rings the doorbell. The door opens, revealing Mayor Archibald. When Mayor Archibald sees Larry, he closes the door, causing one of the clock's hands to swing downward.)

Archibald: Go away!

Larry: (whispering)

Bob: Uh, Larry says, "Archie, since you won't talk to me, I brought Bob to talk for me!"

Larry: (whispering)

Bob: "I-I'm sorry I gossiped. You have no reason to trust me, but I want to train you better than ever." (becomes surprised at what he said, to Larry) What? Are you sure about this?

Larry: (nodding) Mm-hmm!

Bob: He wants to give you his spot in the Bike-A-Thon!

(Mayor Archibald opens the door again.)

Archibald: You'd do that for me?

Larry: Let's train!

(Scene switches to the next day, Larry training Mayor Archibald once again. This time, Mayor Archibald is able to ride his bike past all of the cones that are set up in a row. Mayor Archibald then rides past Larry while doing a wheelie, then rides past him once again. Scene switches to Larry having set up a ramp for Mayor Archibald to ride his bike on. Mayor Archibald then rides his bike, riding it up the ramp, which sends him and his bike flying through the air, surprising Larry, before Mayor Archibald and his bike land on the ground once again.)

Larry: Way to go!

(Mayor Archibald is happy for completing his training. Scene switches to the day of the Bike-A-Thon, where all of the racers are lined up.)

Madame Blueberry: Welcome to the Bike-A-Thon!

Carrot Man: Do you think Archibald'll show?

Corn Woman: It'd sure make for quite a, you know, finale thingy, if he did it.

(The sound of a bicycle bell is heard, before Larry approaches the crowd with Archibald following him on his bike.)

Larry: Mayor Archibald will be participating in my place!

(Bacon Bill, who is one of the competitors, is surprised when he sees Mayor Archibald take his place at the starting line. Mayor Archibald faces Beau, who is parked next to him.)

Archibald: Beautiful day for bike-riding, don't you think?

Beau: Just remember, my camera's filming, waiting to catch you fall.

Cameraman: (glumly) And I wanted to be a serious journalist.

(Beau drives off after that, leaving Mayor Archibald, who stares angrily ahead. Scene switches to Larry and Madame Blueberry standing at the gazebo to start the race.)

Madame Blueberry: Are you ready, bicyclists? On your marks, get set, go!

(The race begins, as all of the racers, especially Mayor Archibald, ride off. First, the racers ride up the wall, as Mayor Archibald starts to take the lead, then makes it onto the Countertop, followed by the other racers. The racers are riding towards the sink, where Beau and his cameraman are perched on top of the faucet.)

Beau: Oh, oh, oh! Here they come! Make sure you don't miss anything!

Cameraman: Should we really be up here? Seems kinda-

Beau: Shh! There's the mayor!

(Mayor Archibald turns the corner where the kitchen sink is, before Beau gets Mayor Archibald's attention.)

Beau: Oh, Mayor Archibald! Smile for the camera!

(Beau suddenly loses his balance as he and his cameraman fall off the faucet and land in the sink, which is full of water. Mayor Archibald stops when he sees what happened.)

Beau: Help! I can't swim!

(The other racers ride past Mayor Archibald, before Mayor Archibald jumps off his bike and into the sink, pulling Beau back up to the surface. Beau and his cameraman are thrown back onto the edge of the sink, before Mayor Archibald comes out of the sink again.)

Beau: (coughing)

(Larry rides up to Mayor Archibald, Beau, and the cameraman.)

Larry: I'll take him back. Go finish what you started.

(Mayor Archibald does as Larry tells him. Scene switches to back with the townspeople.)

Jean-Claude: So I said, "That is not my dog!"

All: (gasps)

(Everyone is surprised when they see Mayor Archibald riding towards them, as he does a headstand on the seat of his bike, then stands on the handlebars. After reaching the finish line, everyone approaches Mayor Archibald while cheering for him. Larry rides back into town with Beau and his cameraman behind him, while Beau is looking sad.)

Beau: (forlornly) Go ahead. Tell everyone I can't swim. I know you're going to.

Larry: Nah, that would be gossiping. And I don't do that anymore.

(Beau smiles slightly, before he and his cameraman get off Larry's bike after he stops.)

Larry: But, you might wanna take a swimming lesson or two.

(Larry rides off, leaving Beau and his cameraman behind.)

Beau: I'm thinking of a new show! It's called, "The Nice, Good Things About Helpful People Show"! It's gonna be gold, Pete! Gold!

(The screen starts to iris out, but stops on the cameraman.)

Cameraman: By the way, my name's Kyle.

(The screen goes dark, ending the episode.)