Big Idea Wiki
Advertisement
MacLarryAndTheStinkyCheeseBattleTitleCard

This is the episode transcript for MacLarry & The Stinky Cheese Battle.

Transcript[]

Opening Countertop[]

(Fade to the countertop with Larry and Scooter dressed in Scottish clothing and holding bagpipes; Larry blows into his bagpipe)

Scooter: Aye, that's it, lad! Let's hear a bit of the melody. (Larry does so) Oh, that's lovely. Takes me back to the rolling hills of my youth.

(Bob walks up)

Bob: Uh, hey, guys. What's up?

Larry: Hi Bob!

Scooter: Greetings, Tomato!

Larry: Scooter's teaching me how to play the bagpipes. It's like an instrument only squishier.

Scooter: Aye! Squish harder! (Larry does so) Oh, lovely!

Bob: Larry, we have to start the show.

Larry: Way ahead of you Bob! Did you see the message from Scott Mitchell?

Scooter: Aye! Is he Scottish?

Larry: Probably. His name is Scott.

(QWERTY opens up a message)

Larry: This came a little while ago. (Larry reads the letter) "Dear Bob and Larry, I like to play the piano and my friends, Justin and Sam like to play soccer. I'm not very good at soccer and sometimes they tease me about it. Can you help me? -Scott Mitchell."

Scooter: I think it's great that you like to play the piano! I like to play the bagpipes but we all have different talents and abilities but we all get along!

Bob: Wow, Scooter, that's nice! I was actually thinking the same thing. In fact, I have a story-

Scooter: About a Scottish Cucumber!

Bob: A Scottish Cucumber?

Larry: (blows a bagpipe) I'm with ya'!

Scooter: Tighten your kilt belts boys! I've got a noble tale to tell.

Bob: What kilt belt?

Scooter: I give you "MacLarry and the Stinky Cheese Battle"! Roll film!

MacLarry and the Stinky Cheese Battle Act I[]

Narrator: Once upon a time, in a make-believe land where Scotland and Rome lived next to each other, there were two friends. Chog Norius, a Barber-Barian and Pompus Maximus, a Roman. As friends often do, they played together. But somewhere along the line, they're playing turned to pranking. And their pranking escalated and got out of hand until once good friends became bitter foes.

Pompus Maximus (Mr Lunt): Aaaaaah! Norius, you overgrown brute! I'll get you!

Chog Norius: Aaaaaah! Pompus, you pesky little gourd! I'll get you!

Narrator: And so it was that the best friends never spoke again. The kingdoms were divided and a great feud endured.

(transitions to barbershop-like area. Chog looks and sees romans then heads to the others)

Chog Norius: It's time once again to repay our enemies. My son, MacLarry, is joining today for yet another attempt to pass his intitation test, 8th time's a charm.

MacBob: Uh... 9th.

Chog Norius: Um that's what I meant! 9th times a charm! 8th time is... practice.

MacLarry: Thanks, Dad. I'm really feeling it this time. I've got this really cool invention and I-

Chog Norius: MacLarry..

MacLarry: Yea Dad?

Chog Norius: No inventions.

MacLarry: Okay sure. No inventions.

Chog Norius: Let's do this!

(the camera now cuts to 2 romans talking to each other)

Roman 1: So i said, "I'm not standing. I'm Roman!"

(the two romans laugh as the Barber-Barians charge at them. They carry barbershop chairs)

Barber-barains: We'll chop your locks with clippers

then tease 'em up with mousse,

we'll never stop our pranking

'till the Romans call a truce!

Roman 2: Never!

(the romans have hoses and squrit water at the barber-Barians)

MacJimmy: Aw man!

Barber-barains: We're Barber-Barians,

merry Barber-Barians,

practical joke fans,

best pranksters in the land!

We're Barber-Barians!

We're Barber-Barrrrrrr-ians!

Terrible haircuts - 2 bits!

Chog Norius: Weep at the fury of our pranks! Boys!

(The barber-barbians show off their shavers)

Chog Norius: Give them... Bad haircuts!

Romans: NOoooooooo!

Chog Norius: Bald Cut!

MacTunia: Beehive!

MacBob: Edge work!

MacJerry: Mullet!

MacJimmy: Skullet!

MacNezzer: Flock of Seagulls!

MacScooter: Lazy Surfer!

Roman: Not bad!

(he turns the roman around the it now has dyed tips)

MacScooter: Frosted tips!

Roman: You monster!

Chug Norius: Go ahead son, this ones yours! Give him a bad haircut, and you'll earn a place among us!

(As MacLarry takes a step forward, he takes out his shavers. We cut to MacBob looking at some shaving progress on the clipboard.)

MacLarry: (to himself) Come on, MacLarry! You can do this!

(MacLarry trips and accidently shaves MacBob's hair.)

MacBob: (screams)

(MacLarry smiles nervously)

MacBob: MacLarry! What did you do?!

MacLarry: Sorry, MacBob!

Roman: (laughs)

MacBob: CHOG!!

(Chog shaves the final Roman's hair.)

Roman: NOOOO!!!!

MacBob: I'm sorry, MacLarry.

(MacBob shows MacLarry's test scores. It turns out he failed, due to MacLarry's disappointment.)

MacLarry: (sighs) Sorry, Dad. I tripped.

Chog Norius: It's okay, son. Tenth times a charm. (to the Barber-Barians) Barber-Barians! Let's go home!

MacBob: Come on, MacLarry. Let's get back to the village.

(As MacLarry dropped the grades, the group left. The Romans saw them leave. MacLarry is still feeling ashamed.)

MacLarry: (sighs) I failed again, MacBob.

MacBob: Maybe you need to practice a little more?

MacLarry: It won't help. I'm the worst Barber-Barian ever!

MacBob: Not worse. Just...different.

MacLarry: Exactly! I can't do anything the rest of you guys can do! I just don't fit in!

MacBob: Just because you're different doesn't mean you're any less important. What about all that stuff you make? Like inventions? Those are pretty cool!

MacLarry: Well, sure! I love inventing. But I don't think inventions matter much around here.

(MacBob sighs as they walk off. Chog and the other Barber-Barians approach the gorge between Scotland and Rome, where he prepares them for the “Chog Toss”, tying them together and throwing them across the gorge.)

Chog Norius: Another victorius raid, Barber-Barians!

Barber-Barians: Victory!

Chog Norius: Prepare for "Chog Toss!"

Barber-Barians: Ready, Chog!!

Chog Norius: Let's do this!!

(Chog throws MacJimmy across the gorge first, second, MacBob, MacTunia, MacNezzer, Donald, and MacScooter,)

Chog Norius: (laughs)

Donald: Ow.

(Chog notice MacLarry is still standing behind.)

Chog Norius: I thought you are ready!

MacLarry: What? Huh?

(The two Romans are behind the rock.)

(The two Romans charge at MacLarry)

MacLarry: (screams)

MacBob: Quick! Just get to our side!

(As Chog throws the rope to MacLarry, Two of the Romans sprays the water guns at them.)

MacLarry: They got me!!

(MacLarry faints)

Romans: (laughing)

Chog Norius: Jump, son!!

(The Romans are so close to get MacLarry and MacDot. They successfully jumped off the gorge before the second Roman jumped in the water. MacLarry and MacDot got hit in the wall)

Roman: Meet me downstream with styling gel!!

MacLarry: (groans)

Roman: Lucky escape, Sir Chog! Worst of the Barber-Barians! (laughs)

Chog Norius: They cannot cross the gorge. They are too puny. We shall return with an even greater gag!! Ha!!

(The Barber-Barians finally made it to the village)

MacScooter: They've returned! All hail Chog Norius! Greatest of the Barber-Barians!

Barber-Barian Boy: Did you prank them good, Mr. Norius?

Chog Norius: Aye! That we did, lad!

Barber-Barian Boy: Awesome!

Barber-Barians: Chog Norris! (x2)

His exploits ever glorious!

Chog Norris! (x2)

Returns again victorious!

Who best the romans with all his Might? Whose strength cannot be matched?

Who brought victory on this night and claimed the biggest laugh!?

Chog Norris!

Villager: Who's the big bad wolf afraid of?

Villagers: Chog Norris!

Barber-Barians: Who dreams of clever pranks to try then pulls them brilliantly?

Who lifts we barber-barians for all the world to see?

Chog! (Chog!) (x3)

Chog Norris!

Villagers: Chog!

(Meanwhile after the finished celebrating, MacJimmy came to the door to get something when it turns out, he got pranked! So did MacScooter! Donald accidentally steps on a whoopie cushion.)

Donald: Excuse me.

MacBob: Chief, they pranked while we were out!

Chog Norius: How can this happen if they come across the gorge?!

Villager #1: Air mail.

Villager #2: They have employed a silly goose!

(We cut to a goose who is wearing air flight helmet, goggles, and a backpack.)

Chog Norius: I can't believe it. We've been goosed!! To the long hall! We will plot our revenge over juice and macaroni!

Barber-Barians: Macaroni!!

MacScooter: Oh, ho ho ho!

(MacLarry was about to come with them, but Chog stops him)

Chog Norius: Not you, MacLarry! You've got homework to do! You need practice! (gives MacLarry the scissors) Good lad.

(While Chog Norius left, the villagers sing his theme song, much to Chog's annoyance.)

Chog Norius: (annoyed) Oh, come on! You don't have to sing my theme song every time!

MacLarry: Save me some juice.

(As MacLarry is walking, the Barber-Barian kids meet them.)

Barbarian Boy (played by Dirk Evert): Hey, MacLarry. Strike out again?

MacLarry: Yep.

Barbarian Girl: Well, maybe you could hang out with us.

Barber-Barian Boy: Can you read us from one of those...What do you call 'em?

MacLarry: Books?

Barber-Barian Boy: Yeah, that's it! Books!

MacLarry: Sorry, kids. I got homework.

Barber-Barian Kids: Aw!

Barbarian Girl: Please?

Barber-Barian Boy: Come on, MacLarry!

MacLarry: (sighs) Oh, okay.

(MacLarry shows the kids about Archiemedes)

MacLarry: The Book of Archiemedes! He's a really great inventor. He's one of my heroes!

Barbarian Boy: Like Chog?

MacLarry: I guess so. But different. We'd really love to meet him one day. (He shows the picture of the lever.) Here, look at this. It's called a lever.

(MacLarry puts a board on a rock as a demonstration.)

MacLarry: You put something heavy on one end you can move it up and down really easy.

Barbarian Boy: Uh, why would I want to do that?

MacLarry: Well, because it could be really useful.

Barbarian Boy: For a prank?

MacLarry: Well, no. Oh, here's a good one!

(MacLarry gave the Barbarian Boy the the table with 5 rocks.)

Barbarian Boy: What is it?

MacLarry: Watch this!

(The one rock moves and hit the second one, causing the final one to move.)

Barbarian Girl: What good is that?

Barbarian Boy: How do you prank the Romans with it?

MacLarry: We don't. It's not for pranking, it's just interesting. I'm thinking of calling it a flying bridge or a Norius cradle.

Barbarian Boy: Maybe you could attach giant pies to it and it would swing and sweat the Romans right in the face!

(Barbarian kids laughing)

MacLarry: No! It's not for that!

Barbarian Girl: They could hit and explode and shave and creep and go everywhere!

MacLarry: No! No! No! That's not what it's for! It's-

(Chog Norius shows up)

Chog Norius: MacLarry! What do you think you're doing?!

Barbarian Kids: (singing) Chog Norius, Chog Noris,-

Chog Norius: (annoyed) For the love of my kilt, stop singing!

(Barbarian kids run away, scared)

Chog Norius: I told you two to practice, and you're out here playing with toys!

MacLarry: Sorry, dad. I was just-

Chog Norius: Spending your time with worthless contraptions when we need your help on the front lines?!

MacLarry: But dad-

Chog Norius: You're my son! And we have a heritage to uphold! Why do things any differently?!

(Chog Norius opens the book of inventions and the picture shows Parabolic Mirror, much to Chog's disbelief.)

Chog Norius: What good is this?! Can shiny metal best your fall?! (picture of another invention) Can this give an awful haircut?! (Picture of another invention) Can...eh...Whatever this is win the feud of the Romans?! (closes the book in anger) No! Only a truly unbeatable prank will win it! That's why we're going after the Cheese of Atilla!

(The Barbarian kids pop up behind the rock in shock)

Barbarian Girl: The Cheese of Atilla!?

Barbarian Boy: Rumored to be so stinky, so foul, it's wrapped in rotten eggs and lutefisk, just to shield the stench!

Barbarian Girl: The Cheese of Atilla!?

Barbarian Boy: Shield within Mount Limburger to protect the world from its all-consuming deep penetrating odor?

Chog Norius: Yes, and this is a private conversation! Would you excuse us please?

(Barbarian Kids run offscreen)

Chog Norius: Once the Atilla Stinky Cheese into Rome, the Romans will no choice but to bow to our Superior Pranksmanship!

MacLarry: But won't that-

Chog Norius: It's already decided!

(Chog Norius left, MacLarry feeling disappointed)

MacLarry: Why can't I be more like them?

(MacLarry went for a walk while he sings.)

MacLarry: Alone in a village of many...

Trying my best to fit in.

Barber skills?

Well I haven't got any.

The worst Barber-Barian.

I cannot be like them.

I try but I choke.

Impractically lame with a practical joke.

I give it my all plus a hundred percent

But nobody cares

'Bout a boy who invents

Alone in a village of many...

Trying my best to fit in.

(As MacLarry is singing, the villager ate a banana and put the peel on the ground. Then another villager came and slip and fall on the ground.)

MacLarry: The worst Barber-Barian.

(MacLarry slips on a banana peel and falls on the ground as we fade to black.)

(The next day, Chog sets up a prank training camp for MacLarry, in an urge to improve his pranking skills and pass his initiation test.)

Chog Norius: I blame myself, son. You're not the great Barber-Barian, because I haven't pushed you hard enough! I haven't worked yet until you were too tired to form new thoughts or properly swallow your food!

MacLarry: Uhh...

Chog Norius: To win this feud with the Romans, we'll need you to pass that test!

MacLarry: Uh, sure, Dad. You can count on me.

Chog Norius: Good. Let's do this!

(MacLarry tries to pull off the pranks Chog teaches him, but to no avail.)

(Chog tries to get MacLarry to shave the wool off a sheep with a razor, however, when MacLarry is left alone, he uses a vacuum invention to change the hairstyle of the sheep. However, the invention goes haywire, sucking up the sheep and shooting it at Chog, knocking him into a tree which falls over onto the village’s lodge, destroying it.)

Chog Norius: Oh, MacLarry! Why'd you have to go and use one of your foolish contraptions?!

(MacLarry's friends pop up and glare at him)

MacLarry: It's just that...I wasn't... I...It was a miscalculation!

MacTunia: The hall!

MacScooter: You destroyed it!

MacLarry: I can help! I can rebuild it!

Chog Norius: You've done quite enough already, boy! This is no time for inventions and no place for an inventor. (to the Barber-Barians) MacDustin, grab me some timbers! MacLesley, fetch me some pitch.

(MacLarry picks up a book and opens it.)

MacLarry: Okay, Archiemedes. Maybe I can be your apprentice. Maybe we could build stuff. "He currently resides in Greece." Hmm. Greece.

(MacLarry walks away to go to Greece as we fade to black)

Kilts and Stilts[]

Narrator: And now it's time for Silly-

Larry: Hold it!

(Larry puts a klit cutout on the illustration of himself while Scooter puts a sign reading "Scottish" beside "with."

Narrator: And now it's time for Silly Songs with Scottish Larry. The part of the show where Larry comes out and sings a silly Scottish song.

Scooter: I can't tell ya how proud I am at this moment!

(Larry, Jimmy, Jerry and Mr. Nezzer are shown sporting a quilt, haggis, a bagpipe and kilts.)

Larry: I dance on stilts...

While he knits quilts...

Scooter: Nice quilt!

Larry: (Scottish Accent) I sing with simulated Scottish Highland lilt.

Scooter: Ah, beautiful!

Larry: He plays his bagpipe...

(Bagpipe)

Larry: Eats haggis melts...

Scooter: Haggis!

Larry: We feel so smart in our red tartan Scottish kilts.

Scooter: Sing it, lad!

Larry, Jerry, Jimmy, and Mr. Nezzer: In our... red tartan kilts...

We feel so smart in our red tartan Scottish kilts.

Scooter: Technically you stitch a quilt, but otherwise lovely!

(The French Peas are shown. Jean-Claude sports a green top hat.)

Jean-Claude: Top of ze morning to you.

(With the pull of a lever, he changes the scenery from Loch Ness to a castle in Ireland.)

Scooter: I'll have you know that's not in Scotland!

(Everyone removes their red kilts and shows green ones)

Larry: I dance on stilts...

Scooter: Excuse me, sir?!

Larry: He stitches quilts...

Scooter: What ya doin' wit a shamrock?

Larry: (Irish Accent) I sing with simulated Northern Irish lilt.

Scooter: Irish?

Larry: He plays his whistle...

(Whistle)

Scooter: What?!

Larry: Eat salted smelts...

(Jerry eats said food.)

Scooter: It's not on the menu!

Larry: We feel so smart in our green tartan Irish kilts.

Scooter: I've got nothing against me Irishmen-

Larry, Jerry, Jimmy, and Mr. Nezzer: In our... green tartan kilts...

We feel so smart in our green tartan Irish kilts...

Scooter: But this is a Scottish song!

(Jean-Claude now sports a royal guard hat.)

Jean-Claude: Chip-Chip-Cheerio!

(The scenery changes to London.)

(Rip!)

Scooter: (muffled by the thrown kilt at his face) Ugh!

Larry: I dance on stilts...

He stitches quilts...

Scooter: WHAT ARE YA DOIN'?!!!

Larry: (English Accent) I sing with simulated English Cockney lilt.

Scooter Carrot: ENGLISH??!

(Boomp)

Larry: He plays his trumpet...

(Trumpet)

Scooter: (desperately) Ugh!

Larry: Eats crumpet melts...

Scooter: Gimme that crumpet!

Larry, Jerry, Jimmy, and Mr. Nezzer: We feel so smart in our St. George's English Kilts.

Scooter: Well ya shouldn't! Let me tell ya!

Larry, Jerry, Jimmy, and Mr. Nezzer: In our, St. George's kilts...

Scooter: No! Wait!

Larry, Jerry, Jimmy, and Mr. Nezzer: We feel so smart in-

Scooter: (Briefly) Ah!

Larry, Jerry, Jimmy, and Mr. Nezzer: -our St. George's English kilts.

Scooter: Oh!

Jean-Claude: Howdy y'all!

Scooter: Stop it you! You're ruining me moment!

(Accelerando)

Larry: I dance on stilts...

He stitches quilts...

Scooter: AMERICAN?!?!?!?!?!?!

Larry: I sing with ordinary unaccented lilt.

Scooter: Oh! Oh! I'm feeling dizzy!

Larry : He plays his banjo...

(Banjo)

Larry: Eats cheddar melts...

Scooter: Oh, I'm breaking up!

Larry, Jerry, Jimmy, and Mr. Nezzer: We feel so smart in our star-spangled striped kilts.

Scooter: Ah! Stop that right now!

Larry, Jerry, Jimmy, and Mr. Nezzer: In our... star-spangled kilts...

Scooter: Let me tell ya! Ah!

Larry, Jerry, Jimmy, and Mr. Nezzer: We feel so smart in our star-spangled striped kilts. (x2)

Scooter (moaning): Uh!

(Scooter faints.)

Narrator: This has been Silly Songs with Scottish Larry. Tune in next time to hear Larry say:

Larry: (joyfully) Just get him some scotch tape and butterscotch. He'll be fine!

Scooter: Oh, my Bonnie lies over the ocean!

(fades to black)

MacLarry and the Stinky Cheese Battle Act II[]

(The next day, a group of turnips are travelling in a wagon through a forest, contemplating what they would want to do with their future.)

Tod: I couldn't decide whether I wanna be a waiter or an actor. I dunno. Maybe a doctor.

Tom: I'm got at the sales.

Tim: I'm gonna be a ninja!

Tod: Big City, here we come!

Ted: Let me tell you guys something. It'll take a lot more than you think of it right in the Big City. We need a break! We gotta find the opportunity. Lookie here! Like this! We find ourselves a Barber-Barian, then boom! We're set

Tod: Where are we gonna find one of those?

Tim: Yeah, where are we gonna find the Barber-Barians?

(MacLarry overhear the turnips talking about Barber-Barians.)

MacLarry: Huh?

(The turnips stop their wagon)

MacLarry: Oh, look who just fell off the turnip truck.

(rimshot sound is heard)

MacLarry: Can we help you fellas with something?

(The turnips laugh evilly as they go closer to MacLarry)

MacLarry: Fellas?

(The turnips kidnapped MacLarry and they are bringing him to Rome.)

(Pompus Maximus is enjoying the show)

Pompus Maximus: Friends!

(Friends hug)

Pompus Maximus: Romans!

(The Romans bow)

Pompus Maximus: Country fans!

(The Country fans cheer)

Pompus Maximus: Lend me your ears!

(The corncobs appear in the match. They each got Black and Red Checkers Pieces)

Pompus Maximus: It is I, your beloved leader, Pompus Maximus in all my awesomeness! (to the viewers) My Maximus Awesomeness. I wished to be entertained by a "Checker Match to the Death"!

(The audience gasp)

Pompus Maximus: Which is just a figure of speech, of course, you cannot die playing checkers.

(The corncobs sigh in relief)

Pompus Maximus: But the loser will suffer great humiliation! And I love that!

(The audience cheer)

Pompus Maximus: Is there anyone even close to being as awesome as me?

(The turnips showed up with MacLarry and his friends.)

Ted: The Barber-Barians!

Pompus Maximus: What?

Roman Soldier #1 (played by Jean Claude): A Barber-Barian?!

Ted: Bags of cash. I suppose I could take a check?

Pompus Maximus: A Barber-Barian?! In my city?!!?

(As MacLarry jumps, the book of Archiemedes has fallen to the ground. Pompus Maximus picks the book up and reads it)

MacLarry: The turnips kidnapped us! We were headed to Greece! To meet Archiemedes and help in his workshop! I'm an inventor, just like him!

Pompus Maximus: An inventor, you say?

(MacLarry nods)

Pompus Maximus: Then, I should welcome you as my honor guests!

Roman Soldier #1: Zat's right! You are under arrest! What? Sir?!

Pompus Maximus: I like him, this inventor! What is your name, my new inventor friend?

MacLarry: MacLarry. MacLarry Norius.

Pompus Maximus: (gasps) Norius. Yes, of course! I'm sorry for the misunderstanding. With all these breaks going around, one can't be too careful. But if you're interested in meeting the Great Archiemedes?

MacLarry: Well, of course! I'd love to! I-

Pompus Maximus: He's out of town. But I'll send for him. In the meantime, why don't you kids have a seat?

MacLarry: Oh, okay. Thank you. You are surprisingly nice.

Pompus Maximus: I'm cool like that. (to the soldiers) Remove the Turnip!

Roman Soldier #1: Thank you! Bye-bye!

Ted: Hey! I know my rights! I didn't just fall off...

(The soldiers Ted out of the door and closes it as we fade to black. We fade to the village as Chog Norius tells the Barber-Barians the plan to get the Cheese of Atilla by drawing the map on the dirt.)

Chog Norius: This is the path-

Donald: Ooh! Pictures in the dirt! I like this game! Send a horse!

MacTunia: A bad haircut! (Chog gives her a dirty look) A good haircut?

MacScooter: A pretty sparkly unicorn!

(Everyone stares at MacScooter)

MacScooter: What?

Chog Norius: This is the path to the Cheese of Atilla! It'll be very dangerous. All need the brutes, Strength, Carriage we can muster!

MacBob: Um, Chief? Have you seen MacLarry?

Chog Norius: He's not along with this one, MacBob. As I was saying-

MacBob: Okay, but I haven't seen them since yesterday.

Chog Norius: Well, as long as he's not destroying our meeting hall, I'm okay with him having a little me time. Let's just go fetch this cheese! MacBob, MacJimmy, MacTunia, MacNezzer, MacScooter! Everybody ready?

Everyone except Donald: Yeah!

Donald: And Donald, sir!

Chog Norius: Really? No Mac?

Donald: Nope. Just Donald.

Chog Norius: Fine. MacBob, you carry jumbo nosepins and the case of the Breeze. Trust me, we're gonna need it!

(As we cut back to Rome, MacLarry and Pompus are having a great time. They're eating Pompus Pops.)

Pompus Maximus: So, tell me. Are you enjoying Rome so far?

MacLarry: Everyone is really nice. Actually, I feel so important here!

Pompus Maximus: You kids and I are exceptional creatures! We deserve popsicle versions of ourselves! (throws the stick on the ground) No, wait, that's just me. Say, I have a problem that I could use some help with. Something, someone awesome like you that is uniquely suited for.

MacLarry: Oh, okay. What do you need our help with?

Pompus Maximus: Well, the thing is drew these up for me last time I saw him.

(As Pompus is talking, the pea from the bottle gave Pompous the blueprints of the Archiemede's design.)

Pompus Maximus: Lovely plans, but they're seem to be a page missing.

MacLarry: You want me to build you an Archimede's design?

Pompus Maximus: You are an inventor! Invent! Only a truly gifted inventor could pull this off.

MacLarry: Okay, I'll try.

Pompus Maximus: (evilly) Excellent.

MacLarry: And then I can meet Archiemedes?

(Pompus exits)

(We do the montage as MacLarry is checking to make sure it's right. The Romans are also working together with MacLarry with the Makeshift Bridge. MacLarry was turning the crane, but accidentally hit one of the Romans. MacLarry crosses out the print. Then MacLarry ties the string together, hammering the bridge, and Voila!)

Pompus Maximus: (impressed) Ooh! Pretty. Just like the drawing.

MacLarry: You like it?

Pompus Maximus: You bet I do! Come, let's go try it out! Let me go get my legion...I mean, my friends!

(We cut to Chog and the Barber-Barians up on the mountains)

Chog Norius: Nosepins up here! Ready, men? The Breeze cover!

(Donald sprays the breeze on Chog)

(Chog smashed the hammer and find)

Chog Norius: The Cheese of Attila! Cities fall before the power of its stench! There is non rancor! Get a load of that stink!

MacJimmy: Ugh! That is seriously terrible!

MacNezzer: (coughs)

MacBob: (coughing while spraying Chog) It's the worst thing I've ever smelled!

(MacNezzer picks up a skunk and sniffs it, much to MacTunia's shock.)

MacNezzer: (sighs) That's better.

Chog Norius: Prolonged exposure will drive a man insane. Mad I tell you! MAD!!!

MacBob: Chief, are you sure this cheese is safe to take back to the village?!

Chog Norius: I brought a jelly jar! (putting the cheese in a jar) These things are amazing! Seals in the rightness! Ready, everybody?

(MacBob sprays Chog)

MacJimmy: Oh, it smells like cinnamon died!

(We cut to the gorge between Scotland and Rome as MacLarry, Pompus, and his guards pulling up the bridge.)

Pompus Maximus: Well, my friend, let's see what your little machine can do.

(Pompous’ guards test the design of the bridge, which lays across the gorge successfully.)

MacLarry: Wow! That's cool!

Pompus Maximus: You could march a whole army across this thing!

MacLarry: I wonder what Archiemedes would think about this!

Pompus Maximus: You know, interesting fact about Archiemedes is actually in Rome.

MacLarry: Already? That was fast!

Pompus Maximus: Hard to leave, ready. Seeing how he's in prison.

MacLarry: What?

Pompus Maximus: That's right! When he found out i wanted to use his bridge design for getting across the gorge to majorly prank the Barber-Barians, he refused to build it! So I threw him in the dungeon. Good thing I found another inventor.

MacLarry: Oh, no!

Pompus Maximus: Seize him!

MacLarry: What are you doing?!

Pompus Maximus: Throw him in the cage!

(The guards threw MacLarry in the cage and locked it.)

Pompus Maximus: You came all this way just to help me prank your own father! Now the joke's on you!

(Pompous gets in the Rome Carriage)

Pompus Maximus: Ha, ha! Ready, men!

Roman Soldier #2: Cream and the fruit filling locked and loaded!

Pompus Maximus: (laughs) Let's go!

(The guard starts crossing the bridge as MacLarry blames himself)

MacLarry: What have I done?

(We cut back to the village. MacJimmy notices that there are the pack of fake nuts.)

MacJimmy: Hey, did we order nuts?

MacBob: MacLarry? Has anyone seen MacLarry and the others?

(MacJimmy opens the can and it fake snake pops out, startling MacJimmy)

MacJimmy: AAH!!!

Everyone: (laughing)

MacBob: MacLarry? Are you here?

Donald: I can't believe you fell for that! And now for a delicious- (fake snake pop up) AAAH!!!!

Barber-Barians: (laughing)

MacBob: MacLarry?

MacScooter: I can't. I'll have snakes.

(A lot of the fake snake pop up)

MacBob: Chief?

(MacBob accidentally bumps into Chog, almost losing his grip on the jar. Chog glares at him.)

MacBob: Sorry. MacLarry isn't back. I don't know where he is!

Chog Norius: He's not in his hut working on some project?

MacBob: No.

(We cut to Chog and MacBob searching for MacLarry)

MacBob: See? They're not here.

Chog Norius: His tools are gone and his book.

MacBob: (in realization) Oh, no!

Chog Norius: What?

MacBob: I think they must have left the village for Greece!

Chog Norius: Greece?! It's so far away! What if they're captured by Romans!? The poor kids! They'd be pranked in oblivion!

MacBob: What are we gonna do?

Chog Norius: It's my fault! He's been trying to be a good Barber-Barian! How many times have he take that test again?

MacBob: Uh, nine?

Chog Norius: (sighs) Nine times.

(Oh MacLarry begins. As Chog sings he shows pictures of MacLarry as a baby, a toddler and child. Flashbacks are shown of a young MacLarry)

Chog Norius: I like to break things and through them in half.

I'll shave off your chest hair if its good for a laugh...

Aye...

But he likes inventin' to build and create

He does it so well and makes him feel great!

What I thought was important and worthy of praise

Are qualities missing in the son whom I raised...

Maybe I pushed him a little to hard

To force him to earn his Barber-Barian card.

Maybe I should have loved him the way that I should

And missed him seeing all that in him is good.

What I thought was important and worthy of praise

Are qualities missing in the son whom I raised...

He's different from me; I break, he creates

M'boy's different from me.

Oh MacLarry!

And that's great. That's the way God made him, MacBob! And I love him! I have to find MacLarry! I have to go after him!

MacBob: But Chief...

Chog Norius: He's my boy! He needs me!

MacBob: What about the cheese?

(Chog throws the cheese to MacBob)

Chog Norius: The cheese will lead the way!

(We cut to the Roman Soldiers still marching the hills.)

Pompus Maximus: Hold the gallop!

Roman Soldier #2: Gallop halt!

(They stop marching.)

Pompus Maximus: All this reclining and gently swaying has made me winded! We'll rest here for a minute. Plus, I need to use the little Emperor's room. (to MacLarry) Too bad you can't get out of that cage and warn the Barber-Barians about us! Ha ha ha! Excuse me.

(Pompus Maximus exits)

(MacLarry tries to open the gate, but it won't budge. Then suddenly, MacLarry got his tools and gets an idea. He is making the great escape called "Cage Reverser".)

Roman Soldier #1: What is he doing?

Roman Soldier #2: I think he's making something.

Roman Soldier #1: What are you doing? Are you making something?

MacLarry: Cage Reverser.

Roman Soldier #2: Ooh! Cage Reverser!

Roman Soldier #1: How does it work?

MacLarry: Hopefully like this.

(MacLarry jumps freeing himself, making the Soldier's in the cage.)

Roman Soldier #1: Wow! That was great!

MacLarry: Sorry, fellas. Gotta go warn my dad you guys are coming.

Roman Soldier #2: Okay, good luck!

Roman Soldier #1: Do you believe this?

Roman Soldier #2: Yeah, that was cool!

(Pompus shows up in shockness)

Pompus Maximus: What are you doing?!

Roman Soldier #2: The Barber-Barian made a Cage Reverser!

(The Soldiers jump freeing themselves, making the Pompus in the cage.)

Roman Soldier #1: Pretty cool, no?

Pompus Maximus: AAAH!!!

(Pompus jumps freeing himself, making the Soldiers in the cage again.)

Pompus Maximus: Go catch them before he warns the other Barber-Barians!!

Roman Soldier #1: How can we? We're in ze cage!

(The Soldiers jump freeing themselves, making the Pompus in the cage once again.)

Pompus Maximus: Hey! All right, fine. You go.

(The Soldiers run after MacLarry as he is all out of breath.)

Roman Soldier #1: (offscreen) After him!

(MacLarry heard the soldiers and continue running)

Roman Soldier #2: (offscreen) The prisoner is escaping!

(MacLarry runs into his father, knowing that he found MacLarry)

Chog Norius: MacLarry!

MacLarry: Dad!

Chog Norius and MacLarry: Thank goodness I've found you!

Chog Norius: Oh, son! I'm so sorry! So, what if you're not the world's best prankster? You're my son and I love you!

MacLarry: You do?

Chog Norius: I do, son.

MacLarry: I love you too, Dad.

Chog Norius: You know what? I think it's great that you like to invent stuff.

MacLarry: Really?

Chog Norius: Really.

Roman Soldier #1: (offscreen) Get them!

MacLarry: Oh well.. I-I.. Uh about the inventing thing..

Chog Norius: What did you do?

MacLarry: I'll explain as we run for our lives.


Chog Norius: What is it?

MacLarry: Romans!!!

(We see two roman guards on horse wagons chasing MacLarry and Chog)

Roman Guard 1: Get along little nannies!

Chog Norius: Run boy!

(Cuts to a camp sign with a turnip)

Turnip: You guys are gonna love camping! Anybody bring a tent?

MacLarry: Hey Turnip, can we borrow your turnip wagon?

Turnip: The clutch sticks!

MacLarry: Thanks!

(MacLarry and Chog get on the wagon and ride it)

Chog Norius: How are you steering this thing?

MacLarry: I thought you were steering

Turnip Wagon Driver: I'm teaching myself to drive!

(The Turnip Wagon Driver drives the wagon out of control. The Roman Guards catch up and bump into the Wagon causing Chog and MacLarry to fall off the wagon. Or so they thought? We now see MacLarry and Chog riding the sheep)

Chog Norius: MacLarry, unhitch!

(MacLarry unhitches the ropes for the sheep, stopping the Roman Guards. Chog and MacLarry ride the sheep back to the village)

Chog Norius: Barber-Barians, the Romans are coming! Break out the water balloons!

(The Barber-Barians panic)

Chog Norius: And someone bring my wingy helmet!

(We now see Chog in his Silver Winged Helmet. Cut to Donald next to a sign saying, "Smash Wall in Case of Romans." Donald uses the hammer and gently smashes the wall. It cracks at first then breaks as water balloons come out. Chog carries the Cheese of Alita)

MacLarry: Is that what I think it is?

Chog Norius: The Cheese of Alita! Son, I'm glad your back. Now just stay here where you'll be safe.

(The Barber-Barians head off)

Chog Norius: Barber-Barians ho!

(Cut to Chog and the Barber-Barians heading off the confront the Romans)

Chog Norius: Let's do this!

(The Romans enter. The Barber-Barians take out their water balloons while the Romans take out their pies. The Barber-Barians do a battle cry)

Pompus Maximus: Give them a taste of Banana Creme!

(They throw their Water Balloons and pies at each other)

MacScooter: They got me, chief! And it's delicious!

Chog Norius: I'll get you for this, Pompus!

Pompus Maximus: Let's go! French Silk!

(The pie throwing continues)

MacBob: Chief, we can't take much more of this! The calories alone!

MacTunia: My diet!

MacJimmy: I used to be a size 6!

Chog Norius: It's time! Bring me the cheese!

(MacBob hands the Cheese of Alita to Chog. Chog shows off the Cheese. The Barber-Barians oooh)

Chog Norius: Nosepins and Febreeze at the ready!

(The Barber-Barians put on nosepins and spray Chog)

Pompus Maximus: You wouldn't dare! I'm lactose intolerent!

Chog Norius: Romans! Prepare to smell like milk, that has spoiled for a thousand years!

Pompus Maximus: Sour Cream Raisin! Quickly!

(A Roman Guard gives him the pie and he throws it)

MacBob: Chief, look at!

(MacBob pushes Chog out the way, causing him to drop the cheese and his closepin removed)

MacBob: (slow mo) No!

(The Cheese bounces and then hits a rock. Everyone sighs of relief at first but then the jar starts cracking, releasing the nasty smell)

Pompus Maximus: Bring me the cheese! I will be watching from a safe distance.

(The Roman Guards ran to try to get the Cheese)

Chog Norius: The Cheese! Don't let our enemies capture it!

MacBob: Chief, your nosepin!

(Chog inhales the cheese smell and faints and so do the romans)

MacBob: Chief!

Chog Norius: Don't want to ride the merry-go round anymore!

MacJimmy: It's gonna blow!

Roman Guard: Run away!

MacScooter: It's no use!

Roman Guard 2: What do we do?

MacTunia: No one's left to save us

(MacLarry enters, wearing a closepin)

MacLarry: I can give it a shot!

(He goes down to save his father)

MacLarry: Dad!

Chog Norius: I'd like a chicken sandwich and a mango milkshake! Hold the cup!

(MacLarry puts on the nosepin on Chog)

MacLarry: I have an idea.

Pompus Maximus: Please do something! I'm too handsome to be stinky for the rest of my life!

MacLarry: Here's what I need: Caber, stone, rope, klits! Go! (To the romans) You guys bring me the bridge machine.

MacNeezer: Romans? You can't trust them!

MacLarry: Forget about the prank feud! We're all in trouble if we all don't get this cheese outta here! Now go!

(They all head off to get the supplies MacLarry needs. The Romans bring the bridge and MacLarry undoes the rope)

MacLarry: Lower the bridge!

Pompus Maximus: Huh? Get cranking!

(The Romans lower the bridge. The Barber-Barians return with the supplies. MacLarry makes a weigher)

MacLarry: We're gonna need a counterweight. Bring me something heavy)

(The Barber-Barians look for something heavy)

Pompus Maximus: I hope you know what you're doing!

(The Barber-Barians return with the only heavy thing they could find, Chog Norius)

MacJimmy: We brought the heaviest thing we could find!

Chog Norius: I'm not heavy! I'm your father!

MacLarry: Good, but I think we need a little more. (He looks at Pompus)

Pompus Maximus: What?

(We cut to Chog and Pompus on the weigher, being lifted up. Pompus takes off the closepin and puts on him, making Chog come back to his senses. Cuts to MacLarry with some tongs, MacTunia and MacBob have Febreeze with them)

MacLarry: It's time. Cover me

(The two spray at MacLarry as he enters the cheesy fog)

MacTunia: Be careful, MacLarry.

(MacLarry enters the cheesy fog. The Barber-Barians watch. He manages to successfully get the Cheese)

MacLarry: Stand back, everyone! It's gonna blow!

(The Barber-Barians and Romans run off. MacLarry places the cheese on the bridge, He gets out a pair of scissors to cut the rope)

Chog Norius: You can do it son! Cut the cheese!

(MacLarry cuts the rope, lowering Chog and Pompus. The bridge throws the cheese into the ocean, making an explosion)

Everyone: ooooooh.

Roman Guard: Zat is nasty!

(Everyone cheers)

Pompus Maximus: No Barber-Barian like that ever risked himself for a Roman. You guys are all right.

(Chog enters with his Winged helmet and places it on MacLarry)

Chog Norius: That's my son! Oh MacLarry, God has given you great gift. I'm so sorry I refused to see it. Thanks to your inventiveness, we're all safe. I'm so proud of you.

MacLarry: Thanks, dad.

Everyone: MacLarry! MacLarry! MacLarry! MacLarry!

(Cuts to the Village. We're Barber-Barians Reprise/MacLarry Norius begins)

Everyone: He may be poor with pranking

Brute force is not his thing

But when you need a problem solved

Then just give him a ring!

A Barber-barian

Merry Barber-barian

He's an idea man

Best inventor in the land!

Barber-Barian!

(Cuts to Pompus and Chog with pies)

Pompus Maximus: Chog old buddy, I know we've had our differences.

Chog Norius: Maybe it's time for a fresh start, friend. What's all this silly pranking have gotten us anyway?

Pompus Maximus: By Imperial Degree, I declare no more Roman pranks from now on!

Chog Norius: And I'll do the same! Barber-Barians, no more pranking! Let our two kingdoms once again be at peace!

Everyone: MacLarry Norris! So Glorious!

Your inventions proved victorious!

Young Norris! You're Glorious!

Bringing peace to all of us!

Whose cloverness befriends the foe? Whose smarts are clever to see?

Who did God make special when he made his wonderfully?

MacLarry! (x3)

MacLarry Norris! (x2)

(The song ends as the bridge has now been put back in place. Fade to black)

Closing Countertop[]

(Fade in to the countertop)

Scooter: That was lovely, MacLarry the Cucumber! You've outdone yourself!

Larry: Aww thanks, Scooter.

Scooter: And MacBob. MacBob! A fine name and fine Scott you turned out to be!

Bob: Uh.. Appreciate it, Scooter.

Scooter: You know what? We got to get you suited up as well. Bring in a set of pipes for the tomato!

(The French peas enter with a klit and bagpages for Bob)

Bob: Eh-heh

Jean-Claude: Bagpipes!

Phillipe: Tomato-sized Klit

Bob: Eh, wh-what are you doing?

Scooter: Look at us! It warns my heart! Brothers of the Highlands, we! Mates forever we shall be! Join in!

Bob and Larry: Brothers of the Highlands, we! Mates forever we shall be!

Scooter: oop! I felt a chill run down me vertabrat.

Bob: What a great story, Scooter. Differences are good

Larry: Yep. Even though MacLarry had other talents from the rest of the Barber-Barians, he was able to use his gifts to help end the Stinky Cheese Battle. When we realized that we're all special and we all have something to give-

Scooter: We can all get along!

Bob: Well put.. (Scottish Accent) Brother

Scooter: Aye.. Brother!

Larry: Let's see if QWERTY has a verse for us.

(The What Have We Learned Song Starts)

Singers: And so what we have learned app-

Scooter: Hold it!

(record scratch)

Scooter: Who needs a group of disembodied accapellians when got everything we need right here!

(Now a bagpipe version of the What Have We Learned song plays)

Bob, Larry and Scooter: And so what we have learned applies to our lives today, and God has a lot to say in His book.

(Bob's bagpipe plays out of tune)

Bob: Sorry

Scooter and Larry: And we know that God’s word is for everyone, and now that our song is done, we'll take a look

(The bagpipe plays out of tune again)

Bob: excuse me.

(Bob takes the Bagpipe and stomps it, attempting to fix it. He later comes back)

Bob: That's better.

(QWERTY pulls up the first part of a Bible verse.)

Larry: "For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function..."

(The screen cuts to the second part of the verse.)

Bob: "...so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others."

(The screen cuts to the last part of the verse.)

Scooter: "We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. -Romans 12:4-6a"

Bob: So, Scott, just because you might be different at different talents or abilities you could feel good knowing we're all part of God's family.

Larry: And our difference that shouldn't divide us but bring us together!

Scooter: Oh Scotty Boy.

Oh Scott, Oh Scott. Oh Scotty.

(To Larry) Help me out here. I'm making this up.

Larry: You've got a lot to give.

That's what you've got a lot.

Oh Scott.

Bob: Well that's the time we have for today. Always remember...God Made you Special-

Scooter and Larry: -And He Loves you very much, Oh Scotty.

Bob: Bye. (exits)

Scooter: Bagpipe solo!

(Bagpipe solo)

(We cut to black and roll the credits.)

(end of transcript)

Advertisement