This is the episode transcript for Lazy Daze.
Transcript
(The episode opens with Zidgel playing a crossword puzzle in the newspaper.)
Zidgel: Stardate, 12 down. A seven-letter word for ship commander. Starts with "C".
(Kevin approaches while holding a plunger.)
Kevin: Uh, Captain?
Zidgel: Not now, Kevin. I'm trying to work a puzzle. (Kevin shows Zidgel the plunger.) Just jiggle the handle for now.
(Jason and Michelle enter the scene. Jason has a catalog in his hands while Michelle has a mirror and brush in her hands.)
Jason: Please?
Michelle: No!
Jason: Pretty please?
Michelle: Absolutely not! You'll lose my money!
Zidgel: Please! This is important captain stuff! I need quiet! Ship commander, ship commander.
Midgel: What seems to be the beef, kids?
Jason: I want to order these sea chimps, but I don't have any money.
Michelle: He wants to borrow mine. He's too lazy to work for it himself.
Midgel: She's right, Jase. Doing an odd job is great way to earn some quid. You know, money.
Jason: That's what I thought you'd say.
Zidgel: I've got it! Cabbage!
Midgel: Captain, don't you suppose you should be doing captain things rather than working a crossword? You don't want to appear lazy.
Zidgel: Lazy? I'll have you know a crossword is no picnic.
(Kevin is shown wearing the plunger on his head.)
Kevin: Ooh, I likes picnics.
Zidgel: That does sound like fun. Midge, set a course for a nice sunny spot, and bring a football.
Midgel: But, Captain--
Zidgel: Come on, Midgel. Don't you feel like kicking back a little?
Midgel: Hmm, I know just the spot--Rigel 13!
(He turns the ship around.)
Kevin: A picnic! A picnic! A picnic!
Michelle: Jason, I know a way you can get a free sea chimp.
Jason: Really?
(She holds the mirror up to his face.)
Michelle: See? A chimp!
(As Michelle laughs, Jason gives an unamused look. Cue the opening sequence. After that, the Rockhopper is shown heading to the Comet Lounge.)
Zidgel: Captain's blog, we're going on a picnic.
Jason: So, what are we doing here?
Midgel: Had to stop off for some supplies, first. Soda pop, sandwiches, you know.
(Cut to the inside of the lounge.)
Fidgel: Don't forget the chocolate bars and marshmallows!
Jason: Oh, great! I love eating s'mores!
Fidgel: Eating? Oh no, I need them for a new fuel experiment.
Midgel: Now don't take all day with your science project stuff, Doctor. We're here to get in, get supplies, and get out. No nonsense.
Fidgel: I assure you my experiments are not nonsense.
Midgel: What about the time you tried to make glass invisible so you can see through it?
Fidgel: Well, it worked, didn't it?
(Jason and Michelle walk up to the counter.)
Sol: What'll it be today, kids?
Michelle: How about a fruit basket to go? Hold the fruit. Throw in a few sandwiches.
Sol: One basket to go. So, where are you off to?
Jason: Zidgel's taking us on a picnic.
Sol: Yes, a picnic's a great way to relax after a lot of hard work.
Jason: Hard work?
Michelle: I don't think Jason knows what that means.
Sol: Well, make sure to watch out for ants.
Michelle: Oh, there won't be any ants at this place. We're going to Rigel 13.
Sol: I don't mean beware of ants. I mean you should watch them.
(He pulls out an ant farm.)
Jason: Watch ants?
Sol: Oh, sure! Haven't you heard the saying, "Go to the ants, you sluggard"?
Jason: What's a sluggard?
Sol: Look it up.
Jason: (sighs)
Sol: Look closely! They're a great example of hard work! Nothing lazy about them, no sir.
Jason: What's wrong with being lazy?
Sol: Well, just think, if I didn't work around here, nobody would get served, dirty dishes would pile up. Pretty soon the whole place would stink!
Michelle: Like Jason's room!
Sol: (chuckles) Old Sol says, "The lazy person wants many things, but has nothing; but the person who is diligent and hardworking truly has it all." You want to be diligent, right, kids?
Jason: Actually, the picnic sounds more fun.
Sol: (laughs) I'm sure it does. You just keep an eye on those ants, you hear?
Jason: We will. Is it just me or is he weird?
Midgel: And what about that cherry flavored sun block experiment?
Fidgel: You have to admit your tongue doesn't get blistered anymore.
(As they leave, a purple robot is shown watching them and having recorded their conversation. This robot works for Cavitus. It pulls out a cell phone and dials its boss.)
Michelle: (recorded)...won't be any ants at this place. We're going to Rigel 13.
Cavitus: (evil laughter) Oh, you thought you would have the day off, did you? Well, wait and see what I have in store for you, my penguin friends. (evil laughter)
Minion #1: Uh, wait. The penguins are your friends? I thought you said--
Cavitus: Quiet! You're interrupting my maniacal laughing fit! (evil laughter)
(Back to the ship. Fidgel opens his storage closet and finds it in a huge mess.)
Fidgel: Oh, dear me.
Midgel: What's got your knickers in a knot, doc?
Fidgel: Well, I'm scheduled to run a diagnostic test on the Harryhausen ray, but it's in the back of this storage bay, and I can't get to it!
Midgel: Harryhausen ray? What's that?
Fidgel: Oh, it's simply a device that halts movement on a molecular level.
Midgel: In the Queen's English, Fidge.
Fidgel: Yes. It stops action, freezes things in time and space.
Midgel: Classic. But it looks like you could use some help.
Fidgel: Oh, why thank you.
Midgel: If I see anyone available, I'll send 'em round.
(As Jason lies on his bed staring at his comic book, Fidgel enters.)
Fidgel: Hello, Jason. I hear you're looking to earn some extra money for sea chimps?
Jason: Yeah!
Fidgel: Well, the storage bay is in a bit of a mess. What say I hire you to clean it?
Jason: Hire? You mean like a job? I'm kinda busy. Maybe later. (Fidgel is about to leave.) Uh, doc? Turn the page for me. I can't reach.
(Fidgel gives a frustrated look. Cut to the bridge of the ship where Michelle is counting all that's in the basket.)
Michelle: There's one, two, three, four, five, six sandwiches. Six juice boxes. Pretzel sticks. Am I forgetting anything?
Fidgel: Cucumber dip!
Midgel: Apple crisps!
Kevin: Beans.
Zidgel: Hair gel!
(Kevin and Michelle give Zidgel an unamused look.)
Zidgel: It might be windy.
Michelle: Midgel, are we there yet?
Midgel: That's a negative, but it won't be long.
Zidgel: Aw, c'mon, Midge. Can't you hurry it up just a little? I bet this'll make us go faster.
(He is about to push a lever, but Midgel stops him.)
Midgel: Ah! No one touches my buttons but me.
(They both stare at each other.)
Michelle: Look!
Midgel: Just like I said--Rigel 13. The perfect picnic spot. Blue grass, green skies, and no ants.
Michelle: Don't you mean green grass and blue skies?
Zidgel: Green grass? What planet are you from? Oh, right.
(The ship enters the planet's atmosphere. After that, it tries landing by sticking a plunger on the ground, but it flies off the stick and lands roughly. After landing, the whole crew gets out.)
Michelle: Wow! This is a perfect spot for a picnic!
Zidgel: C'mon, gang! There's a shady knoll over that hill that would be a great spot to eat lunch.
Jason: Ahh, this is the life.
Fidgel: Oh, Jason, thank you for cleaning the storage bay. This is a well deserved break indeed.
Jason: Oh, yeah, right. Hey, Michelle! Go long!
(He throws a red plastic disc. Michelle follows it until she comes across a less than pretty sight.)
Michelle: Oh, my.
(As the crew follows, we see she has come across a pile of garbage.)
Kevin: Ooh, nasty.
(Back to Cavitus' ship.)
Cavitus: (evil laughter) (coughs) Water (coughs), please.
(Minion #1 hands him a cup of water with a straw. After a sip, Bert closes the robot head.)
Cavitus: Ah, thanks. (evil laughter)
(Back to the planet.)
Midgel: I don't know what happened. This planet was so clean when I was a kid.
Fidgel: Perhaps we should tidy up a little?
Michelle: We can eat afterward!
Jason: Wait a minute. I didn't come here to work. I came here for a day off.
Michelle: Well, we can't have a picnic in this mess!
Kevin: (sniffs) Yeah.
Zidgel: (cries)
Kevin: There, there.
Zidgel: But wait! Look there. (he points to a small patch of untouched land) There's just enough space to lay my blankie. I mean blanket. The picnic is saved!
Michelle: But what about all the trash?
Jason: What about it?
(A cell phone rings.)
Zidgel: Hold on, I have an important message. Oh, it's not me.
Fidgel: It's me. From Admiral Strap. I'd better take it on the ship. Duty calls. Probably some science type questions.
Midgel: Or geeky science fiction type questions.
Jason: (giggles)
Michelle: Um, I'm coming too, to get a broom.
Jason: What about us? Do we have to--?
Midgel: Orders, cap'n?
Zidgel: Men! I order us to start our picnic! Woo hoo!
Jason, Midgel, and Kevin: Woo hoo!
(The four run down to their picnic spot. As Zidgel lays down the blanket, Kevin sings.)
Kevin: A tisket, a tasket.
Zidgel: I love my picnic basket
It's full of snacks
And cakes and wax
And salads made of plastic.
(Midgel, Jason and Kevin look at him weirdly.)
Zidgel: What?
(Back on the ship, Admiral Strap is trying to speak to Fidgel, but the radio reception is all fuzzy.)
Admiral Strap: Doctor Fidgel, come in, Doctor Fidgel. I have an important mission for you on Rigel 13.
Fidgel: Oh, that's funny. We're already here.
Admiral Strap: What? What are you doing there?
Fidgel: We're here for a little R&R, as ordered by the captain, sir.
Admiral Strap: Just tell me nobody is actually on the planet's surface!
Fidgel: Um...well...define surface, and perhaps, on.
(Michelle looks at the planet's surface through the front window. Meanwhile, the rest of the crew lie down on the blanket.)
Zidgel: I knew I should have brought my sunblock.
Midgel: You can borrow mine.
Zidgel: Cherry flavored?
Midgel: Natch.
(He throws the sunscreen to Zidgel, but it flies over him, bounces off Kevin's belly and onto the planet's surface. Suddenly, a shadow looms over Zidgel.)
Zidgel: Awwww, man! Wouldn't you know it? I hope it's not gonna ra--
(He sees a giant ant and screams like little girl. He screams again along with the rest of the crew as we get an ant's eye view. Suddenly, more giant ants surround the crew. One of them picks up their picnic basket and takes it away.)
Jason: So much for a picnic! Captain! What do we do!
Zidgel: Scream. Like this. (screams)
(Midgel pulls out his cell phone.)
Midgel: The ship! Call for help!
(Zidgel grabs it)
Zidgel: Doctor Fidgel! Doctor Fidgel! Mayday! Help! S-O-S! Anything! Why doesn't he answer?
(Another ant pulls up their picnic blanket, making the crew stumble down the hill.)
Midgel: Orders, cap'n?
Zidgel: Run!
(The crew runs in four different directions as the ants approach them. Back on the ship, Fidgel keeps trying to make out what Admiral Strap is saying.)
Admiral Strap: That planet...infected by...giant creatures...need you to stop them...danger...use the ray. The ray!
(Fidgel gets another call.)
Fidgel: Excuse me, Admiral, call waiting. Hello? Hello? Hello? Anyone there? (An ant picks up the cell phone left on the ground.) Hmm, that's odd. (Gets back on the phone with Admiral.) Hmm...I'm back, Admiral. Admiral? Oh, hm, I seem to have cut him off. Oops.
Michelle: Isn't there anything you can do, Doctor?
Fidgel: My dear girl, I'm a scientist, not an exterminator.
Michelle: But there must be something. After all, the admiral was calling you instead of the captain!
Fidgel: Why yes, you're right. He must have known that these invaders can only be stopped by my special ability alone! Hm, I wonder what it is.
(Midgel and Zidgel hide behind a rock.)
Midgel: Whoa! I think we're safe here. (Searches for his cell phone.) Oh, you dropped my communicator! I can't contact the ship!
Zidgel: Oh no! I've lost mine, too! We're doomed! Doomed!
(Midgel reaches for Zidgel's hair, but he stops him again.)
Zidgel: Hey! I don't touch your buttons. You don't touch my 'do.
(Midgel pulls the cell phone out of Zidgel's hair.)
Midgel: No, Captain. You put it there for safe keeping, remember?
Zidgel: Oh, right. (Grabs the phone.) Doctor Fidgel, come in. Can you read me? Come in, Doctor. Are you there?
Fidgel: Yes, Captain. We are here. (The ship shakes.) Whoa! Oh my goodness!
Michelle: Whoa! Whoa!
Zidgel: Doctor, what's going on over there?
(The ants have picked up the ship.)
Fidgel: It seems we are getting a little carried away.
Michelle: Oh no! Look where they're taking us!
(They take it up a hill. Meanwhile, Kevin wanders around until he finds a soda can. Suddenly he is surrounded by ants.)
Kevin: Hello.
(Cut back to Zidgel and Midgel.)
Zidgel: The day started out so peaceful! What is to become of us?
(Jason runs to the spot where the ship was.)
Jason: What? Where did the ship go?! Where's Kevin?
(Kevin is riding an ant like a cowboy.)
Kevin: I'm a cowboy! Howdy! Howdy! Howdy!
Jason: Awww. What am I gonna do? At least this is one mess they can't blame me for!
(Back to the ship.)
Michelle: This is all Jason's fault.
Fidgel: Oh? How so?
(Michelle looks over a box of melted crayons.)
Michelle: He left my crayons in the sun. Now they're all melted.
Fidgel: Oh, that.
Michelle: He's too lazy to put anything away. Have you figured out why the admiral wanted you to save the day?
Fidgel: I've been giving that some thought. In his message, he kept saying "Ray". You know, at first, I thought he was talking about my brother-in-law Ray.
Michelle: What?
Fidgel: But the more I thought about it, I think he was suggesting I use the Harryhausen ray to stop these creatures.
Michelle: Well, where is it?
Fidgel: In the storage bay. (They run to the closet, which is still a mess.) Jason was supposed to clean this room! Oh, we'll never find it!
Michelle: Told ya, Jason's fault.
(Back on Midgel and Zidgel.)
Midgel: So, doc, any luck with that ray yet?
Fidgel: It will take at least an hour to get it functional. I hope we have time before we're burnt to a crisp.
Zidgel: I suppose you want us to come and save you.
Fidgel: Perhaps you could create a diversion and distract the beasties while we ready the device!
Midgel: We're on our way.
(Midgel somersaults away while Zidgel keeps sitting.)
Zidgel: Um, I was just kidding about the saving bit. Have you seen the size of those things? Heh, yeah.
(He crawls away like a baby as Midgel goes behind four rocks. After he catches up, Midgel starts using sign language.)
Zidgel: Huh?
(An ant lifts up the rock they're hiding behind.)
Zidgel and Midgel: (scream)
(They run away. Cut to Jason.)
Jason: I sure wish there was something I could do to help. I mean, as long as it wasn't too hard.
(Cavitus' ship flies over and dumps garbage on the planet.)
Cavitus: (evil laughter)
Jason: So this is all Cavitus' doing. I might have known. (He sees an ant beside him.) Ahh! Get away, you! Get away, or I'll...I'll--
(He spots a piece of paper, crumples it up and is about to throw it when the ant suddenly turns around and leaves.)
Jason: Well, what do you know about that?
(Jason tosses the paper aside, alerting the ant.)
Jason: Ahhhhhh!
(As the ant comes back for the paper, Jason picks it up before tossing it again. And again he picks it up with the ant following him. He puts it down before the ant shakes its head. And when he picks it up, the ant nods. Then he remembers what Sol told him.)
Sol: (voiceover) Go to the ant, you sluggard! The person who is diligent and hardworking truly has it all.
(The ant claps as Jason starts picking up trash.)
Jason: I get it, I get it. I'll help you.
(Kevin, still on an ant, passes by.)
Kevin: Howdy!
Jason: Hey, Kevin! Guess what? These guys are friendly. I think they just wanna clean up. They just like to work!
Kevin: I know. Hi-ho.
(Back on the ship, Michelle watches Cavitus' ship.)
Michelle: I just saw Cavitus' ship! This invasion is his doing!
(Fidgel has successfully pulled out the Harryhausen ray.)
Fidgel: I might have surmised!
Michelle: Any luck with that ray thingy?
Fidgel: Yes, it's all ready. We just have to open the hatch and aim this at those minions of evil.
(He turns on the machine and sees Zidgel and Midgel.)
Fidgel: Oh, not them.
(He sees one of the ants walk by.)
Midgel: Get 'em, doc!
Zidgel: Yeah! Aim at that big one with the funny orange hat!
(Fidgel focuses on the one Kevin is riding.)
Kevin: Howdy.
Fidgel: What?
Admiral Strap: Doctor Fidgel! Fidgel, come in! Is this connection working yet? If you can hear me, you must stop Cavitus with the Harryhausen ray!
Fidgel: Cavitus?
Admiral Strap: I have sent rangers to assist your crew.
Fidgel: Rangers?
(Cavitus' ship leaves the planet)
Zidgel: Fidgel! He's getting away! At least stop his friends here!
(More ants approach the ship.)
Jason: No, wait! You've got it all wrong!
Zidgel: Well, you've got a lot of explaining to do, little buckaroo!
Jason: The ants are good guys. They're Federation trash rangers.
Midgel: How do you know that?
Jason: That's what they told Kevin.
(We see Kevin saying goodbye to the one he rode.)
Kevin: No, stay. (The ant follows him.) You're free now. (sniffs) Go on. Go.
Fidgel: It seems they were sent by the admiral to protect us from Cavitus' scheme.
Michelle: He tried to ruin our visit here by dumping all this trash.
Jason: The ants were just very diligent and busy cleaning up. They were putting all the garbage in this giant anthill.
Midgel: That's not a volcano?
Michelle: They must've though the ship was part of the trash.
(One ant shrugs.)
Jason: But they're a great example. They don't stop until the job is done. Unlike some of us.
Michelle: Go to the ant you sluggard!
Zidgel: What's a sluggard?
Jason: It's a lazy good for nothing. (pause) I looked it up. I'm sorry I was lazy, Fidgel. I didn't clean out the storage bay. And if I did, well, maybe we could've caught Cavitus this time.
Fidgel: Oh, there, there, lad. There's always next time.
Midgel: I should've known better than to slough off, too, when there was so much to do.
Zidgel: Tsk, tsk. (Midgel nudges him.) Oh, um, right. Me too.
(The crew helps the ants with picking up the rest of the garbage. Eventually, the kids are brought home. We see Jason washing the dishes as Grandmum loads a picnic basket.)
Grandmum: (hums) There we are! All set for our picnic! (laughs) My heavens! I almost forgot the olives! Can't very well have a lunch without them. Not to mention Jason. I wonder how his chores are coming along. 'Bout finished, luv?
Jason: All done, Grandmum.
Grandmum: I certainly am proud of you, finishing your chores right away. What's ever got into you?
Jason: I just wanted to be diligent, like the ants.
Grandmum: Oh, will wonders never cease. My little picadilly is industrious as ants.
Jason: "A lazy person wants many things, but has nothing; but the person who is diligent and hardworking truly has it all."
Grandmum: Just like the good book says, luv. Just like the good book says. Now, I remember the first time I went picnickin' with your granddad. We was hackin' our way through the jungles of Bolivia when we found ourselves surrounded by head hunters.
(Fade to later that night.)
Grandmum: Up to bed now and don't forget to say your prayers, my pets.
Michelle: And thank you for the nice day and the lovely green sky.
Jason: And helping me be diligent and not lazy.
Michelle: And for new friends.
(An ant walks by carrying an olive.)
Jason: Hey, can I have my olive back?
Michelle: I'd say he worked hard and should get to keep it.
(Jason nods in agreement.)
Jason and Michelle: Amen.
(Pan away from the house as the Rockhopper flies away.)
Kevin: Howdy!
(end of transcript)