Big Idea Wiki

This is the transcript for Laura at Bat.


(The camera zooms in on a baseball diamond as baseball-style music plays. At the baseball diamond, Larry and Petunia are coaching a little league team consisting of Junior, Laura, and some corn kids.)

Larry: Team, you made a choice today when you stepped out onto this field. Can anybody, besides my assistant coach, tell me what choice that was?

Junior: To play baseball?

Larry: Wrong. You came here to give me a percent of your passion, drive, skill, and willpower. Can anybody tell me what percent I expect?

Junior: Um, 100 percent?

Larry: 110 jillion times two, carry the five, divided by nothing to the power of win! And there is no "i" in "win". Understand?

Petunia: There is an "i" in "win". But what Larry means is-

Larry: (interrupting) What I mean is, I want your "A" game, not your "me" game. There's no "me" in "game".

Bob: There actually is a "me" in "game" too.

Larry: Who here has goals?

Laura: I'm gonna hit a home run.

Larry: Wrong! We are gonna hit a home run! We're a team. Besides, there is no "U" in "home run".

Junior: Um, sir, there is a "U" in "home run".

Larry: What happens when you take the "U" out and put the "we" in there? What do you get?

Junior: (uncertainly) Uh... "home r-we-n"?

Larry: That's right. Home r-we-n! Say it with me!

All: Home r-we-n!

Larry: That's what I like to hear. Now, let's get to practicing.

All: Yeah! OK, here we go! Let's go! Practice!

(Everyone has soon started practicing, practicing hitting the ball, making pitches, and running the bases. When it is Laura's turn, she keeps missing the ball, while Junior is able to make home runs effortlessly. Practice has soon ended.)

Larry: Come back for practice tomorrow at oh-six-fifteen thousand hours.

Laura: I didn't hit a single ball.

Junior: Well, that's what practice is for. You'll get better.

(Bob soon approaches Junior and Laura.)

Bob: Hey, guys. We're having a movie night at our place. You coming? We're watching a movie about a dog that flies airplanes.

Junior and Laura: Sure!

(Scene cuts to Bob and Larry's home, where Bob, Larry, Junior, and Laura are watching the movie, entitled "Air Corgi: Puppy Pilot". A broccoli girl is playing with her corgi, while a pilot, played by Tom Celeriac, approaches them both.)

Pilot: That dog sure likes airplanes.

Broccoli Girl: Yeah, he wants to be a pilot.

Pilot: Well, if he dreams hard enough, he will be. Can you dream hard, little guy?

(The corgi happily licks the pilot's face, while Laura is captivated.)

Pilot: Oh, no! I can't deliver these medical supplies! My plane has shrunk somehow. I can't get inside!

(The corgi approaches the plane with a determined look on his face, before he hops into the cockpit and starts up the plane.)

Broccoli Girl: His dream is coming true.

(The plane then takes off, as the corgi flies into the sky.)

Junior: Go, Air Corgi, go!

Pilot: You know, it's true about dreams, kid. If you dream really hard, whatever you want will definitely happen and your life will be great forever.

Laura: My dream is to hit a game-winning home run. And I know that if I dream hard enough, I can do it! Just like Air Corgi!

(Scene switches to the next practice day.)

Larry: All right, team, today is our last practice before our first big game. I want you to practice so hard that you break but don't bend. Break!

All: OK, let's go! Come on!

(The team is practicing once again with hitting the ball and catching fly balls. When it is Junior's turn, he is able to hit the ball and make it to second base, before becoming surprised to see Laura sitting on the bench not practicing.)

Junior: Laura, how do you expect to hit a home run if you don't practice batting?

Laura: I know I will, because it is my dream.

Junior: OK. Don't you think practice should be a part of that dream?

Laura: My dream is to hit a game-winning home run without even practicing.

Junior: OK, then. Good luck with that. I'm gonna go practice hard. And if you wanna join me, you can.

Laura: I'm gonna sit right here and dream hard, thanks.

(Soon, the day of the big game has arrived, as all of the veggies have come to attend the game. Jimmy and Jerry are up in the grandstands.)

Jimmy: Let's have the microphone, Jerry.

Jerry: I want turn.

Jimmy: Don't be silly, brother. We both know you're not one for public speaking.

(Jerry dejectedly and reluctantly hands the microphone to Jimmy after that.)

Jimmy: It's a real nail-biter out here at the top of the ninth. And it's anybody's game. Right, Jerry?

Larry: All right, who's up?

Laura: (excited) Me!

Larry: Carrot, I wanna see you hit a rocket and win this thing.

Laura: I know I can do it, because I've dreamed it all along.

(Laura hops up to the mound as she prepares to swing.)

Laura: This is the moment I've been waiting for. Dreams really do...

(The ball suddenly zooms past her before she could even have a chance to hit.)

Ichabeezer: Strike one!

Larry: Come on, Carrot. Get your head in the game!

(Laura takes her stance again, but when the ball is thrown at her again, she misses it once again.)

Ichabeezer: Strike two!

Jimmy: Another swing and a miss.

Jerry: Swing.

(Jerry then leans forward in front of Jimmy.)

Jerry: Jerry wants a turn.

Jimmy: No, Jerry. I don't want you to embarrass yourself.

(Laura picks herself up again, and readies herself, before hearing the voice of the Pilot.)

Pilot: (voice-over) If you dream really hard, whatever you want will definitely happen...

(The ball gets thrown at Laura again, but when she tries to hit it, she misses it again as the bat suddenly starts flying all around the baseball diamond.)

Ichabeezer: Strike three! (chuckles) You're out of there.

(Laura dejectedly hops back into the dugout.)

Laura: I should have dreamed harder.

(It is now Junior's turn as he hops up to the mound.)

Larry: Come on, Junior. Remember, home r-we-n!

Jerry: Turn!

Jimmy: Jerry, if you insist. I'll let you give it a try. Here.

(Jimmy hands the microphone to Jerry, which Jerry is elated about.)

Jerry: And now...

(Unfortunately, Jerry can't find what else to say, as everyone else in the grandstands awaits to hear what else will happen next. Embarrassed, Jerry hands the microphone back to Jimmy again, as Jimmy resumes announcing.)

Jimmy: Junior looks determined to slug that ball!

(The ball is thrown at Junior, which he is able to hit without any problems, scoring a home run and winning the game. The other players crowd around Junior and celebrate, except for Laura, who is still saddened about missing the ball and not having her dream come true. At Pa Grape's store...)

Pa Grape: Good job!

Kid #1: Thank you.

Pa Grape: Way to stick it to him. Congrats! What a game!

Kid #2: Thank you.

(Laura sadly hops up in front of Pa Grape afterwards.)

Pa Grape: Laura, my dear, how could you be so sad? Your team won.

Laura: Yeah, but my dream didn't come true. Junior hit the game-winning home run.

Junior: You just need more practice, Laura. You should let me teach you how to hit.

Laura: Well, maybe if I practice more, it'll help my dream out a little. Maybe it needs a push.

(The next day, Junior and Laura are now at the baseball diamond, with Laura at bat, while Junior is at the pitcher's mound.)

Junior: All right. Keep your eye on the ball.

Laura: Ready!

(Junior then throws the ball at Laura, but Laura misses once again and hits herself in the face with the bat.)

Laura: I'm terrible.

Junior: Let me help you get up. Now, brush off and try again. Anything worth doing well is worth doing badly.

(Up-tempo music starts playing afterwards.)

Junior: (singing) Every champ was once a chump

And those up on the mountaintop were once down in the dumps

They missed the ball flubbed their lines

For every victory they may have failed a thousand times

You don't start off being great at what you do

Every mountain has a valley to go through

There's not a road without its bumps

And every champ was once a chump

(Laura is finally successful in hitting the ball, just as the song ends.)

Laura: I hit it in!

Junior: Yes! Keep that up, and you'll be hitting home runs in no time!

(Junior and Laura start to leave, at the same time that Jerry is up in the grandstands, trying hard to practice his public speaking.)

Jerry: It's, uh... baseball! Welcome to the...

Ichabeezer: (Off-screen) You know, when I was a kid, I couldn't talk much either. But I practiced, just like you, Jerry. Now look at me. Why, I'm the loudest guy in the whole town.

(Ichabeezer leaves after that, while Jerry then nods. The big day of the game has soon arrived. At Pa Grape's store...)

Larry: Each and every one of you came here with the drive to win. But did you bring your driver's license? Are you licensed to drive us home to victory tonight? Well, I hope you got that license from the DMV. That's right, the Department of Motivated Vegetables! Are you motivated?

Kids: Yeah!

Larry: Wait a minute. Are we a whisper-ball team or a baseball team? Louder!

Kids: Yeah!

Larry: I still can't hear you!

Kids: Yeah!

(The scene then switches to at the baseball diamond once again, as the big game is now underway.)

Jimmy: It's a beautiful day for baseball, and we couldn't have asked for two better teams as the Cobs take on the Carrot Badgers at Veggie Stadium.

Jerry: Baseball.

(The ball is thrown as one of the corn kids manages to hit it. The ball is sent flying as it ricochets off the scoreboard and off another corn kid's drink.)

Jimmy: Well, the Carrot Badgers pitched a gem.

(Jimmy is suddenly struck by the ball, which knocks him over onto his face. The first corn kid manages to make it to first base, at the same time that Jerry looks down to see if Jimmy is alright. Jimmy picks himself up afterwards, but something strange has happened to him.)

Jimmy: (grunting, gibbering) I can't speak.

(Jerry looks down at Ichabeezer, who gives him a nod of encouragement. Now inspired, Jerry takes the microphone from Jimmy, before trying his best to announce the game.)

Jerry: The... The teams are ready to play some serious ball. All year long, these teams have practiced (deeper voice) and both sides have hoped to light a fire under their players. (Jimmy becomes happy)

Ichabeezer: Play ball!

(One of the corn kids throws the ball at one of the carrot kids, who hits the ball, getting a home run, which the other carrot kids cheer about. Another carrot kid hits the ball, but out at the field, Laura manages to catch the ball, before throwing it at Junior, tagging that carrot kid out.)

Jerry: (deeper voice) Tag, he's out of there! In a year that's been so improbable, the impossible has happened. Larry's team appears to be championship material!

(With the Cobs at bat again, one of the carrot kids throws the ball before it gets sent flying as it strikes a corn man in a gap in the scoreboard.)

Jerry: (deeper voice) These teams have stayed tied almost the entire game, keeping us all on the edge of our seats.

(One of the corn kids misses the ball that was thrown at him.)

Ichabeezer: Strike! You're out of there!

Larry: This is it! We don't do Mondays. Eye of the tiger! Stomp the yard!

Kids: Yay!

(With the Carrot Badgers at bat, Junior throws the ball at one of the carrot kids, who hits the ball, sending the other carrot kids for home base.)

Jerry: (deeper voice) Larry's team is down a run with two outs at the bottom of the ninth. It is anybody's game!

(In the dugout, Junior and Laura are conversing with each other.)

Junior: Are you ready for this?

Laura: I hope so. Maybe I'll get lucky.

Junior: Well, you got the hard work part. I'll see you out there.

(Junior then hops up to bat afterwards.)

Larry: Come on, Junior. Send that ball to its home planet, Baseball-ballonia, in space!

(The ball is thrown at Junior, as he manages to hit it, which sends him to first base. It is now Laura's turn as she also hops up to bat, which Junior watches from afar.)

Junior: You can do it, Laura. I know you have it in you.

Jerry: (deeper voice) Laura Carrot is up to bat. For Larry's team to pull out a victory, it's gonna take a miracle!

Petunia: Go, Laura! You can do this!

(The ball is thrown at Laura, but she misses the first time.)

Ichabeezer: Strike one!

(Laura misses the ball again when it gets thrown at her again.)

Ichabeezer: Strike two!

Larry: Come on, kid, give it all you got.

(Laura is now prepared to try again, as the ball is thrown at her once again. This time, Laura is able to hit a home run, which sends the ball flying across the stadium.)

Jerry: (deeper voice) What a hit!

Larry: I knew she could do it!

(The hit is enough to send all of the players for home base, though one of the carrot kids manages to pick up the ball and throw it towards home base, just as Laura narrowly manages to slide home.)

Ichabeezer: She's safe!

Jerry: (deeper voice) And that's the game! Larry's team wins!

Jimmy: Baseball!

(Laura is then approached by the other players, as they celebrate her game-winning home run. At Bob and Larry's home, Larry then comes through the door to greet Junior and Laura.)

Larry: There's my star hitter. Great job!

Junior and Laura: Thanks!

Larry: You gave me 110 jillion times two percent. That's all I ever asked for.

Laura: Yeah. I guess my dream kind of changed. After practicing with Junior, I realized how good it felt to work hard at something and get better at it.

Larry: That's a dream come true for us all!

(Junior and Laura resume watching TV, as the screen then goes dark, ending the episode.)

(End of transcript)