This is the transcript for Larry Lives it Up.
Transcript
(Scene opens to Mayor Archibald and Petunia meeting with a small crowd of people in the office.)
Carrot Man: This town needs longer stoplights, ya know what I'm saying? Because, ya barely get a moment to reflect.
Mr. Lunt: I want a holiday recognizing me as a unique and vibrant member of the community!
Archibald: One at a time, please!
Crowd: (chattering at once)
Mr. Lunt: I'd like a billboard with my face on it!
Archibald: Thank you! We'll take it all into consideration!
(Mayor Archibald directs the crowd into the elevator, which closes after that.)
Archibald: (sighs) Petunia, I think I need to take the day off.
Petunia: But you got bills to pay, bills to pass, bills to write. And you have that lunch with Bill at three.
(Archibald is even more stressed from hearing this.)
Archibald: (gasps) How about I abandon it all and go golfing?! Fore!
Petunia: Being the mayor is your responsibility!
Archibald: Idea!
(Scene switches to Mayor Archibald and Petunia now at the gazebo in the town center, where there is a crowd gathered.)
Archibald: People of the town, after much consideration, at least three or four seconds worth, I have concluded that I need to take a golf day! I will be handing my job over to one lucky citizen!
Bob: The selection process should be thorough and dedicated to finding the perfect person for the job!
Archibald: Whomever catches this rubber ducky, shall be mayor for a day! Fore!
(Mayor Archibald hits the rubber ducky with his golf club, sending it flying.)
Bob: I got it!
Ichabeezer: No, no, I got it!
(The rubber ducky bounces off the front of a carrot man's car, the side of a lamppost, and the fountain, at the same time that Larry comes by while carrying several tins of sardines. The rubber ducky suddenly hits Larry, knocking him over and causing him to drop the tins of sardines he was carrying.)
Larry: Hey! What's the big idea?!
Archibald: (exclaims) Key to the city, bow tie, and of course, the monocle! Congratulations, Larry! You are mayor for a day!
Larry: I am? Can I keep the ducky?
Archibald: Sure, toodles!
(Archibald gets into his car and drives away, while Bob and Ichabeezer are surprised. Larry plays with the rubber ducky.)
Larry: I've always (squeaking) wanted to be (squeaking) the mayor for a day! Actually, that's not true, but I have always wanted a rubber ducky to squeak!
(Larry resumes playing with the rubber ducky, as Bob and Ichabeezer come up to him.)
Bob: You'll need an assistant.
Petunia: But, I'm the assistant!
Larry: Hold it!
(Bob, Ichabeezer, and Petunia become quiet when Larry says this.)
Larry: Wow, you all held it. No one ever holds it when I say "hold it". I think I like this new mayor stuff!
Bob: Larry, may I-
(Larry squeaks the ducky again.)
Larry: You're all dismissed! Bye-bye! I want fresh, young, energetic minds, like... (gasps)
(Larry runs over to Junior and Laura.)
Larry: These two kids!
Laura: Us?
Junior: Cool!
Larry: I, Larry the Mayor-ee, declare Junior and Laura the new mayor helpy-thingy guys!
Bob: You mean chiefs of-
(Larry squeaks the ducky to silence Bob again.)
Larry: My first mayor-y decree, is to rename this town Sardinia! In honor of my favorite food.
(Larry pulls out a sardine and eats it.)
Larry: Now, come, come, staff, we have a lot of town-planning to do.
(Bob and Petunia are surprised. Scene switches to Archibald driving outside of the House then gets outside to play golf.)
Archibald: Ah, tranquility! Fore!
(Archibald accidentally throws his golf club as it lands in the lake.)
Archibald: Whoopsie-daisy!
(Archibald runs off then comes back with another golf club.)
Archibald: Fore again!
(Archibald accidentally throws his golf club again, before it hits his car, setting off the car alarm.)
Archibald: (yelling)
(Archibald uses his car alarm remote to turn off the car alarm. Scene switches to back with Larry, who is still holding the rubber ducky.)
Larry: People of Sardinia, lend me your ears!
(A crowd starts to approach Larry.)
Larry: I, Larry the Mayor-ee, declareth unto you, the five decalamations!
(Junior comes up next to Larry while holding a piece of paper.)
Junior: Declaration number one, the only rule is to have fun.
Crowd: (cheering)
Laura: Second declaration, we have purchased with the town money one giant block of bouncy cheese, upon which Larry may jump and be jolly.
Larry: Oh yeah!
(Larry starts bouncing on top of the giant cheese block.)
Larry: Biggity bouncing time!
Bob: That looks really expensive!
(Larry squeaks the ducky again while he is still bouncing.)
Larry: Third decalamation?
Junior: Everyone gets their own monster truck and pet hamster!
(Cut to Larry driving in a monster truck with several glass cages of hamsters in them. The crowd, consisting of Jimmy, Jerry, a Broccoli Woman, and a Carrot Man, cheer while running towards Larry.)
Laura: Fourth declaration, Larry the Mayor-ee will now play the new town song in celebration of the greatest food on Earth, sardines!
Larry: Dance, people of Sardinia! Dance
(Music starts playing as everyone starts dancing, but Bob and Petunia do not dance.)
Chorus: (singing) Sardines
Sardines
Sardines
Sardines
I love sardines
Oh, how I love sardines
They float inside the sea
Oh, boy, like tiny submarines
Sardines
Sardines
Sardines
Sardines
Alone they taste so great
But in mustard
They are best
They're teeny and they're stinky
Behold my awesome sardine breath
They come inside a can
Like potted meat and ham
And they work as a dessert
Dipped in chocolate or jam
I love sardines
Better than franks and beans
They're scaly and they're green
Oh, how I love sardines
(The song ends as everyone cheers for Larry. Scene switches to back with Archibald as he tries to hit the ball again, but misses as he spins around and falls back down again. Archibald stares angrily at the ball before swinging his golf club wildly until he hits the ball.)
Archibald: Yes! Pegged it!
(The ball suddenly hits the backside of a Buffalorange that is grazing. The Buffalorange is now angry as it starts running out at Archibald.)
Archibald: (chuckling nervously) Nice Buffy-wuffalo! (screaming)
(The Buffalorange starts chasing after Archibald. Scene switches to back in town.)
Larry: (singing) I love sardines
Better than frank or beans
They're scaly and green
Oh, how I love-
Bob: Larry! Larry!
Larry: What! Where am I? Who said that?! Was that Grandma?
Bob: No, it's Bob. You've been stuck in a sardine song trance.
Petunia: And you've been singing it for hours! Look!
(Larry looks down and is shocked to see overturned monster trucks and empty hamster cages in the town center.)
Larry: Where are all the joyful citizens playing with their hamsters?!
Petunia: The people started leaving when the song repeated for the 100th time.
Bob: The hamsters escaped. They ate your bouncy cheese too.
Larry: (gasps) No! Not my bouncy cheese!
(Larry falls on his back after that.)
Larry: My vision for this town was a land of joy, children eating sardines, laughing with mouthfuls of sardines, squeaking joyfully.
(Larry squeaks the ducky again.)
Larry: Now, I just squeak sadly.
Bob: Maybe it's time to give up being mayor.
Larry: (gasps) No! Larry the Mayor-ee never takes failure lying down! I get up, dust off-
(Larry steps on a sardine and ends up slipping before falling off the couch, while Bob and Petunia look down. Scene switches to Pa Grape using a broom to get the hamsters out of his store.)
Pa: Shoo! Get out of here, ya rascals!
Larry: (screaming)
(Larry slides in on the sardine and runs into Pa.
Pa Grape: Larry?
Larry: That's Larry the Mayor-ee to you, Grocerysmith!
(Larry squeaks the ducky once again.)
Pa Grape: Well, Mayor-ee Larry, those hamsters have eaten more of my food!
Larry: (gasps)
Carrot Man: We have no power! I got to sharpen my pencil manually!
Mr. Lunt: Yeah! And you know what keeps getting run over by monster trucks? Everything!
Ichabeezer: Looks like the town is having some trouble, eh?
Petunia: Larry, according to my clipboard, you spent all the town money!
Larry: I know, we'll sell lemonade!
Ichabeezer: Actually, I just bought the town while you all weren't looking! Cha-ching!
Larry: (gasps) What?!
Ichabeezer: I'm the new mayor, and you're fired!
(Ichabeezer takes the monocle and bowtie from Larry, causing Larry to get spun around before falling in a sitting position next to Junior and Laura. Ichabeezer puts on the monocle and bowtie.)
Ichabeezer: Hear that, everybody? I'm the mayor! (laughing)
All: (gasps)
Ichabeezer: I'm the mayor! (singing) I am the mayor!
Larry: I wasn't a very good mayor.
Junior: It was awesome while it lasted. For four hours, give or take.
Bob: We've got to do something!
Petunia: To the golf course!
(Scene switches to Archibald now up a tree, with the Buffalorange repeatedly ramming the tree to try and get Archibald.)
Archibald: Ah! Shoo! Shoo! I've had enough! Back, you beast!
(The Buffalorange rams the tree again, causing Archibald to fall out of the tree and land onto the Buffalorange's back, as the Buffalorange starts bucking up and down, before bucking Archibald into the lake. Archibald gets out of the water.)
Archibald: I don't think I like golf.
Petunia: Archie! Archie!
(Bob, Larry, and Petunia are looking for Archibald, before they see him in the lake, Bob pulling him out of the lake.)
Bob: The town needs you.
Larry: I really messed things up.
Archibald: Just how messed up are we talking?
Petunia: Do you really want all the details? Because we'll be here for a while.
Archibald: I'm all ears!
(Time skip, it is now night.)
Archibald: Monster trucks and hamsters?
Petunia: A lot.
Bob: Like a lot, a lot. And now Ichabeezer has taken over.
(Larry squeaks the ducky again.)
Larry: Being mayor is a big responsibility. This is my fault.
Archibald: You're right, Larry.
Larry: That it's all my fault?
Archibald: You're right that being mayor is a big responsibility. I ditched my responsibilities to play golf! This is also my fault.
Larry: You're right. You know, if you think about it, it's all our faults.
Bob: No, it's pretty much the two of your faults. We're happy to help fix it, though.
Archibald: That's it, then. I have a plan, and I hope you will join me! Together, we will triumphantly take back the town!
Bob, Larry, and Petunia: (cheering)
(The Buffalorange is suddenly heard bellowing after that.)
Archibald: (screaming)
(Archibald runs away while the Buffalorange chases after him again.)
Archibald: No more golf! No more golf!
(Scene switches to back in town where a carrot man is hopping on the baseball field while drinking coffee, becoming confused when he sees Corn Woman standing on the bench while looking very afraid.)
Corn Woman: What are you doing?!
Carrot Man: I'm drinking coffee, I'm walking, and also (breathes in and out) Yep, I'm breathing. Uh, whatcha gettin' at?
Corn Woman: Don't you know?! We can't be on Ichabeezer's lawn! And now Ichabeezer's lawn is everywhere!
Broccoli Boy: Get off that lawn!
Corn Man: You're living on the edge!
Carrot Woman: It's basically hot lava!
Carrot Man: (chuckling) I ain't afraid of no Mayor 'Beezer!
Ichabeezer: (coming from behind) Is that so?
Carrot Man: Uh, yeah. Man, I'm just a regular feller drinking coffee, you know. (drinks his coffee again)
(Ichabeezer comes right up to the carrot man's face.)
Ichabeezer: Get off my lawn!
(Ichabeezer's yells cause the carrot man to get sent flying until he finds himself standing on the edge of the fence of the baseball field.)
Ichabeezer: Ichabeezerville is coming along quite nicely, thank you.
(Ichabeezer drinks the carrot man's coffee. Scene switches to Mayor Archibald's office, where Ichabeezer is holding a megaphone, before Pa Grape comes up to him.)
Pa Grape: Ichabeezer, please. Allow my store to stock something besides golf magazines and black licorice.
Ichabeezer: (through the megaphone) Not a chance, Grape! (normal voice) And did you change the name of your store yet?
Pa Grape: Must I really change the name of my store to "Pa Grape's House of Rip-offs"?
Archibald: How about you change it to "Mayor Archibald is back, Jack"! Do not worry, my people, I am here to return to office!
Broccoli Boy: Yay!
Ichabeezer: (stammering) Not so fast! Don't forget who's wearing the bowtie and monocle! (pulls out a clipboard) As mayor, I wrote some new rules. For instance, I declare myself to be mayor forever!
All: (gasps)
Larry: He's thought of everything!
Bob: That's it?
Petunia: There must be something we can do!
(Archibald comes up with an idea.)
Archibald: You know, Ichabeezer, being mayor is a huge responsibility.
(Archibald takes out a stack of papers and gives them to a surprised Ichabeezer.)
Archibald: You've got bills to pay, bills to write, bills to sign.
Petunia: Don't forget, you've got that lunch with Bill at three!
(Petunia throws Bacon Bill onto the pile of bills held by Ichabeezer. An angry crowd suddenly comes out from the elevator and approaches Ichabeezer.)
Crowd: (complaining)
Ichabeezer: I, hold on- Whoa!
(Ichabeezer falls over after that, before looking at one bill.)
Ichabeezer: No! I need a day off! I'm going golfing! I love golf! Someone else can be mayor!
(Ichabeezer quickly leaves, leaving behind the monocle and bowtie, which Archibald reclaims once again, much to the happiness of everyone.)
Bob: Archie's the mayor again!
All: (cheering)
(Confetti is shot into the air.)
Archibald: And for my first act as your new old mayor...
(Scene switches to Bob, Larry, Petunia, and Mayor Archibald now bouncing happily on a brand new block of bouncy cheese.)
Archibald: This is way better than golf!
(The screen goes dark, ending the episode.)
(End of transcript)