Kilts and Stilts is the 37th Silly Songs with Larry.
Lyrics
Narrator: And now it's time for Silly-
Larry the Cucumber: Hold it!
Narrator: And now it's time for Silly Songs with Scottish Larry. The part of the show where Larry comes out and sings a silly Scottish song.
Scooter Carrot: I can't tell ya how proud I am at this moment!
Larry the Cucumber: I dance on stilts... While he knits quilts...
Scooter Carrot: Nice quilt!
Larry the Cucumber (Scottish Accent): I sing with simulated Scottish island lilt.
Scooter Carrot: Ah, beautiful!
Larry the Cucumber: He plays his bagpipe...
[Bagpipe]
Larry the Cucumber: Eats haggis melts...
Scooter Carrot: Haggis!
Larry the Cucumber: We feel so smart in our red tartan Scottish kilts.
Scooter Carrot: Sing it, lad!
Larry the Cucumber, Jerry Gourd, Jimmy Gourd & Mr. Nezzer: In our... red tartan kilts... We feel so smart in our red tartan Scottish kilts.
Scooter Carrot: Technically you stitch a quilt, but otherwise lovely!
Jean-Claude Pea: Top of ze mornin' to you.
Scooter Carrot: I'll have you know that's not in Scotland!
[Rip!]
Larry the Cucumber: I dance on stilts...
Scooter Carrot: Excuse me, sir!
Larry the Cucumber: He stitches quilts...
Scooter Carrot: What ya doin' wit a shamrock?
Larry the Cucumber (Irish Accent): I sing with simulated Northern Irish lilt.
Scooter Carrot: Irish?
Larry the Cucumber: He plays his whistle...
[Whistle]
Scooter Carrot: What?
Larry the Cucumber: Eat salted smelts...
Scooter Carrot: It's not on the menu!
Larry the Cucumber: We feel so smart in our green tartan Irish kilts.
Scooter Carrot: I've got nothing against me! Irish-
Larry the Cucumber, Jerry Gourd, Jimmy Gourd and Mr. Nezzer: In our... green tartan kilts... We feel so smart in our green tartan Irish kilts...
Scooter Carrot: But this is a Scottish song!
Jean-Claude Pea: Cheep-Cheep-Cheerio!
[Rip!]
Scooter Carrot (muffled by the thrown kilt at his face): Ugh!
Larry: I dance on stilts... He stitches quilts...
Scooter Carrot: WHAT ARE YA DOIN'?!!!
Larry the Cucumber (English Accent): I sing with simulated English Cortney lilt.
Scooter Carrot: ENGLISH??!
[Boomp]
Larry the Cucumber: He plays his trumpet...
[Trumpet]
Scooter Carrot (desperately): Ugh!
Larry the Cucumber: Eats crumpet melts...
Scooter Carrot: Gimme that crumpet!
Larry the Cucumber, Jerry Gourd, Jimmy Gourd & Mr. Nezzer: We feel so smart in our St. George's English Kilts.
Scooter Carrot: Well ya shouldn't!
Larry the Cucumber, Jerry Gourd, Jimmy Gourd & Mr. Nezzer: In our, St. George's kilts...
Scooter Carrot: No! Wait!
Larry the Cucumber, Jerry Gourd, Jimmy Gourd & Mr. Nezzer: We feel so smart in-
Scooter Carrot (Briefly): No!
Larry the Cucumber, Jerry Gourd, Jimmy Gourd & Mr. Nezzer: -our St. George's English kilts.
Scooter Carrot: Oh!
Jean-Claude Pea: Howdy y'all!
Scooter Carrot: Stop it you! You're ruining me moment!
(Accelerando)
Larry the Cucumber: I dance on stilts... He stitches quilts...
Scooter Carrot: AMERICAN?!?!?!?!?!?!
Larry the Cucumber: I sing with ordinary unaccented lilt.
Scooter Carrot: Oh! Oh! I'm feeling dizzy!
Larry the Cucumber: He plays his banjo...
[Banjo]
Larry the Cucumber: Eats cheddar melts...
Scooter Carrot: Oh, I'm break ya know!
Larry the Cucumber, Jerry Gourd, Jimmy Gourd & Mr. Nezzer: We feel so smart in our star-spangled striped kilts.
Scooter Carrot: Stop it!
Larry the Cucumber, Jerry Gourd, Jimmy Gourd & Mr. Nezzer: In our... star-spangled kilts...
Scooter Carrot: Stop that!
Larry the Cucumber, Jerry Gourd, Jimmy Gourd & Mr. Nezzer: We feel so smart in our star-spangled striped kilts. We feel so smart in our star-spangled striped kilts.
Scooter (moaning): Uh!
(Scooter faints.)
Narrator: This has been Silly Songs with Scottish Larry. Tune in next time to hear Larry say:
Larry (joyfully): Just get him some scotch tape and butterscotch. He'll be fine!
Scooter: Oh, my Bonnie lies over the ocean!
Fun Facts
- Scooter gets offended on Jerry eating a crumpet, even though it's also a Scottish food. However, it's most likely because the Scottish types are different from the English ones.
Gallery
