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This is an episode transcript for Junior Gets a Pet.


(Scene opens to Bob, Larry, Petunia, Ichabeezer, Captain Mike, and Junior, who are inspecting what looks like a bovine-shaped hole in the wall of Petunia's house, just as a police siren is heard, before a lettuce policeman, named Officer Wedge shows up.)

Officer Wedge: Quiet, people. I have some questions for Miss Rhubarb about the robbery.

Petunia: Well, it ate a bunch of plants.

Officer Wedge: A robber who eats plants.

Petunia: Not a robber.

Ichabeezer: An animal! This here is the work of something large and hungry.

(Ichabeezer comes up to the bovine-shaped hole before he starts sniffing around.)

Ichabeezer: This is the unmistakable handiwork... of a Buffalorange!

Officer Wedge: It's been years since we've seen a Buffalorange here.

Ichabeezer: It is a Buffalorange! And I'll prove it when I catch it.

(Ichabeezer then dons a cowboy hat and pulls out a lasso-shooting gun, which shoots a rope that brings in Rooney.)

Rooney: (barks)

Ichabeezer: Begin the hunt!

(Ichabeezer suddenly gets pulled away by Rooney, as Larry also dons a cowboy hat and pulls out a lasso.)

Larry: Bob, let's get that there Buffalorange-a-dilly.

Bob: Larry, if we're gonna pull this off, we have to be quiet and sneaky, not loud and cowboy-y.

Larry: Yee-haw!

(Larry then jumps onto Bob and starts riding him like a horse.)

Larry: Giddyap, Big Red!

Bob: Larry!

(Petunia and Officer Wedge then leave, leaving Junior and Captain Mike.)

Junior: Buffalorange? Oh, Dad! Can we search for it, too? Please?

Captain Mike: Sorry, bud, we have plans. Granny's coming over for family day.

(Scene switches to where Junior is now sweeping the front stoop of the house.)

Junior: Can I go play in my fort yet? I finished my job.

Captain Mike: The point of family work time is to be together, not hide in a fort.

Junior: Can I have a lunch break?

Captain Mike: Oh, all right. Take ten.

Junior: Yes! I'm having PBJHD. Peanut butter and jelly hot dog!

All: Bleh.

(Scene switches to where Rooney is sniffing the ground to pick up the scent.)

Ichabeezer: Good dog. Follow the smell.

(Rooney still sniffs the ground when he is suddenly lassoed by Larry, who jumps on top of him.)

Larry: I think I got me a Buffalorange-a-dilly!

Ichabeezer: Get off my dog!

(Rooney then runs off with Larry still riding on him, pulling Ichabeezer with him. Bob then shows up afterwards.)

Bob: Larry, you got the wrong animal.

Larry: I caught me a lively one!

Bob: (sighs) Wait up!

(Scene switches to back at the Asparagus household, as Junior comes out from the house while holding a hot dog that has peanut butter and jelly on it. Junior then looks out to see what looks like a cow-orange creature from a ways off, before it runs off.)

Junior: What is that?

(Junior turns to see Captain Mike, Lisa, and Granny still distracted, before going to go confront the strange creature. Junior looks around, before the cow-orange creature sneaks up from behind him and starts sniffing him. This creature is the Buffalorange. Junior turns around to see the Buffalorange.)

Junior: Aaaaah! Whoa-oh-oh-oh!

(Junior runs for his life with the Buffalorange still chasing after him, until Junior finds himself trapped in a corner.)

Junior: Please don't eat me.

(The Buffalorange instead eats Junior's PBJHD.)

Junior: My PBJHD. It's good, right?

(The Buffalorange starts sniffing Junior.)

Junior: (laughing) That tickles. Well, I don't have any more. We'll have to get some at Pa Grape's.

(The Buffalorange then runs off once again.)

Junior: Hey, where are you going?

(Scene switches to Pa Grape's store, as the Buffalorange then runs right through the door with Junior chasing after him.)

Junior: No-o-o-o!

(The Buffalorange then starts running around in the aisles of the store.)

Junior: What are you doing? No, put that back. Stop it.

(The Buffalorange still runs through the aisles, knocking items off the shelves.)

Pa: (off-screen) I'll be right out! Just finishing up back here.

(Junior then comes up to the Buffalorange.)

Junior: You have to get out of here now. They're gonna find you.

(The Buffalorange nudges Junior, who then pulls out a hot dog and throws it out the window, as the Buffalorange chases after it before crashing through the wall. Pa Grape then shows up.)

Pa: All right, how can I... (sees the damage) he-e-e-elp!

(Junior leaves, just as Ichabeezer and Rooney show up.)

Ichabeezer: Fiddlesticks. It was just here.

(Ichabeezer and Rooney then go through the hole.)

Junior: Wait up! Please!

(Junior sadly sits on the front step of Pa's store after that. Scene switches to back at home, where Junior is still glumly sitting down, at the same time that Captain Mike is sweeping the front stoop of the house. The Buffalorange then shows up again, surprising Junior.)

Junior: You came back! What are you doing, boy?

(The Buffalorange nudges Junior, before Junior turns to see Captain Mike still sweeping the front stoop. The Buffalorange then throws Junior onto his back. The Buffalorange then jumps into the air with Junior riding on his back.)

Junior: Wow-wee! This is awesome! (laughing)

(The Buffalorange jumps all over the place with Junior still riding on his back before throwing Junior into the air. Junior then looks down while airborne to see Ichabeezer and Rooney walking through the streets. Junior then lands on the Buffalorange's back again.)

Junior: Hold on. It's Ichabeezer! Hide!

(The Buffalorange then jumps on top of the counter and hides from sight, while down below, Ichabeezer is still searching, as Junior and the Buffalorange peek out from the top of the counter. Ichabeezer gets the feeling that he's being watched that he turns around, just as Junior and the Buffalorange duck down again. Ichabeezer looks through his infrared binoculars, but doesn't see anything.)

Ichabeezer: Ah!

(Ichabeezer then leaves after that.)

Junior: Whew. That was close.

(Junior and the Buffalorange look at the clock to see that it is almost 7:00.)

Junior: It's late. I've gotta get home. (the Buffalorange licks Junior) Come with me. You can hide in my fort.

(Scene switches to Bob, who is now sniffing the ground, while Larry has him on a leash.)

Larry: Keep on sniffin', faithful hound.

Bob: I don't think this is working. All I smell is floor. (sniffs) Wait. I reckon I found its scent.

(Bob then runs off while pulling Larry with him, before approaching while looks like a cheese wedge on the floor.)

Bob: This is weird. (picks up the cheese) It's sort of like a tra-a-a-ap!

(Bob and Larry end up getting pulled into the air and trapped in a snare trap.)

Larry: Man, oh, man. We got ourselves in one of them predicaments, we did.

Bob: Ooh-wee! Hornswaggled and hogtied! (realizes) Why do I keep talking like that? Stop making me do that.

(Scene switches to Junior still riding on the Buffalorange's back, as Junior gets off his back.)

Junior: All right, you'll be safe in here. I brought you your favorite.

(Junior holds out a PBJHD in front of the Buffalorange, who is now safely inside Junior's cardboard fort, before Junior gives the PBJHD to the Buffalorange.)

Junior: What should I call you? Buffy? Hairy? How about Robert?

(The door opens from off-screen.)

Captain Mike: (off-screen) Junior, are you out there?

Junior: Okay, I gotta go. Good night, Robert.

(Junior leaves, before approaching Captain Mike, who is standing on the front stoop.)

Captain Mike: Son, where were you? I came out here, and you were gone.

Junior: Sorry, Dad.

Captain Mike: Well, we missed you here.

(Junior and Captain Mike then enters the house after that. Scene switches to Ichabeezer and Rooney.)

Ichabeezer: Oh, why don't we check the trap?

(Ichabeezer becomes surprised to see Bob and Larry in the snare trap.)

Ichabeezer: Huh?

Bob and Larry: Howdy.

(Ichabeezer then becomes angry when he sees that his trap did not catch a Buffalorange. Scene then switches to the exterior of Junior's house, as Junior and Captain Mike come out.)

Captain Mike: Play close to the house, please.

Junior: Okay.

(Junior approaches his cardboard fort, where Robert is sleeping, before Robert wakes up and nudges Junior. Junior then jumps onto Robert's back afterwards.)

Junior: Be careful no one sees us.

(Robert then runs off, while Captain Mike is still sweeping before he turns to see Junior riding on Robert, which surprises him.)

Captain Mike: Junior! Junior, come back here! Junior!

(Scene switches to Junior still riding on Robert, who is now running under the chairs, with Captain Mike following after them, before Robert then jumps up onto the counter once again, while Captain Mike watches in horror. Ichabeezer then comes by, as Captain Mike approaches him.)

Captain Mike: Ichabeezer, I need your help. I think I found your Buffalorange.

Ichabeezer: What? Where?

Captain Mike: This may sound crazy, but I think Junior was riding it.

(Bob and Larry approach Ichabeezer and Captain Mike, with Bob and Larry both now donning cowboy hats.)

Captain Mike: They're up on the countertops.

Ichabeezer: Track 'em, Rooney.

(Rooney then runs off, pulling Ichabeezer with him, while Bob, Larry, and Captain Mike also follow after them. Up on the counter, Junior is still riding on Robert.)

Junior: Whoo-hoo!

(The group still follows after Junior and Robert from down below on the floor, before Robert makes a turn and jumps right off the counter, while Bob, Larry, Captain Mike, and Ichabeezer watch on, before Robert lands on the floor and jumps off again, this time jumping onto the couch, before jumping up really high.)

Junior: Higher! Higher!

(Robert then jumps off the couch and sails right across town before landing once again. Bob, Larry, Captain Mike, and Ichabeezer approach them once again.)

Rooney: (barking)

Ichabeezer: There it is. I knew it. I knew it!

Larry: Rope it up!

(Robert is afraid as Junior hops off his back.)

Junior: It's okay, boy. I'll protect you.

(Ichabeezer shoots a lasso at Robert, but the lasso is too short as it just flops down a couple of inches in front of Robert, who then jumps up and lands behind the group before running off again.)

Junior: Come back! I'll get you a PBJHD!

Captain Mike: Son, are you all right? Did the beast hurt you?

Junior: Don't let Ichabeezer get him. He's my friend, Dad.

Ichabeezer: PBJHD. Peanut butter, jelly and... Hungarian dates? Uh, horse dumplings?

Larry: Hamster dance?

Captain Mike: Hot dogs. Peanut butter and jelly on a hot dog. His favorite snack.

Ichabeezer: Ha-ha! Brilliant! I've been searching for the perfect bait.

(Ichabeezer then leaves, as Captain Mike starts to take Junior home.)

Junior: No! No, don't let him, Dad!

Captain Mike: That's enough, son.

Junior: No-o-o-o-o!

(Scene switches to where Captain Mike and Junior have now returned home.)

Captain Mike: You can't just run off like that. Who knows what could have happened to you? What do you have to say?

Junior: I know, Dad, but he's my friend.

(Junior then looks up and becomes happy.)

Junior: He's okay!

(Robert then lands in front of Junior and Captain Mike, as Junior happily climbs onto his back again, much to Captain Mike's shock.)

Captain Mike: No! Come back here! Junior!

(Ichabeezer and Rooney then come up to Captain Mike once again.)

Captain Mike: Please bring him back.

Ichabeezer: Don't you worry. I have a plan.

(Scene switches to Robert running towards the couch with Junior still riding on his back, before Robert then jumps onto the couch.)

Junior: We need to hide where they won't find us.

(Robert then jumps up into the air before jumping onto the end table, as Junior then jumps off his back.)

Junior: But, I don't know what to do. (singing) I love my family

They mean the world to me

But if I choose to go back home

I could lose one of the best friends

I've ever known

I wanna please my dad

And never make him sad

My head says run away

But my heart says to obey

I want to do the right thing

Lord help me do the right thing

Please help to see me through it

Lord give me strength to do it

The right thing

(The song ends as Robert starts crying.)

Junior: What's wrong, boy? I won't let them get you.

(Ichabeezer then shoots a lasso from his lasso gun as the lasso loops itself around Robert's back right leg before pulling Robert towards the edge of the end table. Junior looks to see Ichabeezer trying to pull Robert off the end table.)

Junior: No! Leave us alone!

(Robert pulls the lasso off his foot before throwing Junior onto his back again as he runs off before jumping off the end table and running around a bunch of various items that are on the floor. Junior then notices that Robert is running straight towards a lone PBJHD laying on the floor, before noticing that it is directly under a cage that is suspended in the air.)

Junior: No, Robert, don't do it!

(It is too late as Robert jumps forward and gets the PBJHD, which causes the cage to fall on top of him and Junior, trapping them inside. Ichabeezer then approaches the cage after that.)

Ichabeezer: Yeah! Whoo-hoo! I did it! Who did it? Ichabeezer did it!

(Ichabeezer then turns while giving a devious grin to Junior and Robert, who are both afraid. Fade to black, before the scene switches to Ichabeezer's house.)

Ichabeezer: Wow, look at it. I always dreamed of seeing one up this close. Why, it's beautiful.

Junior: What are you gonna do to us?

Ichabeezer: I called your dad, and he's on his way. But this animal needs to get back to its family.

Junior: You don't want to hurt him?

Ichabeezer: No, I want to help him! Why, this little feller's lost. He's been hiding around these parts, looking for his family.

Junior: How do you know so much about them?

Ichabeezer: It's been my favorite animal since I was about your age.

(Captain Mike then enters Ichabeezer's house afterwards.)

Captain Mike: Is everything okay?

Ichabeezer: Your son managed to befriend a creature that few have even seen.

(Ichabeezer goes over the cage that Junior and Robert are imprisoned in, before opening the cage door, allowing Junior to exit the cage before going over to Captain Mike.)

Junior: Dad, I'm really sorry. I thought I needed to protect Robert from Ichabeezer. But Mr. Ichabeezer is gonna help him get back to his family. Oh, can we go? Please?

Captain Mike: Of course. I'm just glad to have you back safe.

Ichabeezer: Now let's get this guy back to his family.

(Scene switches to Junior, Captain Mike, Ichabeezer, and Robert standing near the edge of the end table, as the sound of Buffaloranges bellowing are heard. A trio of Buffaloranges then stampede out from the dust cloud.)

Ichabeezer: Here they come.

Junior: Whoa! Robert really is just a kid!

(Junior then goes over to Robert, who gives him an affectionate lick, before Junior pulls out a PBJHD from behind his back and gives it to Robert.)

Junior: A parting gift. I love you, boy. I'm gonna miss you.

(Robert then bellows, which attracts the attention of the other Buffaloranges.)

Ichabeezer: Look, they see him.

(Robert jumps down from the end table before he runs over to meet his family, while Junior watches on.)

Ichabeezer: They're reunited! Ha-ha-ha!

(Junior holds back his tears before going over to Captain Mike, who gives him a hug.)

Captain Mike: You did a good thing, son. I'm proud of you. Look how happy he is. He loves his family.

Junior: Maybe they're gonna have family day. And so will we.

Captain Mike: Now, that is a great idea.

(The Buffaloranges start to leave, but not without Robert stopping and turning around, before going to join his family once again. Junior, Captain Mike, and Ichabeezer watch on, before the camera pans down to the center of town, where Bob, now sporting a mustache and wearing his cowboy hat while twirling a lasso, suddenly appears.)

Bob: Jumpin' jackrabbits! We got ourselves a king-sized Buffalorange-a-dilly!

(Bob then jumps off, before Larry also suddenly appears while still wearing his cowboy hat.)

Larry: Yee-haw!

(Bob and Larry then go the direction that the Buffaloranges have gone, as the screen irises out, revealing the words "The End" spelled out with lassos.)