This is the transcript for the Jonah: A VeggieTales Movie Outtakes.
Outtake #1[]
Dad Asparagus: Tree! (Bob dodges the tree) Cabin! (Bob dodges the cabin) LarryBoy!
(They hit LarryBoy)
LarryBoy: Hi, guys. What's up?
Outtake #2[]
Bob: Well, nobody got hurt. (Porcupine quill hits Bob's hat) Aah! Hey, I need that.
Baby Porcupine: Sorry! (cut to outtake #2b)
Bob: Well, nobody got hurt.
(Porcupine quills hits cameraman)
Cameraman: Ah!
Baby Porcupine: Sorry! (cut to outtake #2c)
Bob: Well, nobody got hurt. (Two porcupine quills hit the van which tips over on Bob) (muffled:) AAH!!! Somebody! Help me!
Baby Porcupine: Alright! One more time!
Outtake #3[]
Laura: I lost my ticket!
Junior: If you haven't been teasing me with it, we wouldn't be in this mess, Laura! (they both start cracking up and giggling) Don't make me- I'm a mean boy! (Laura starts laughing even more) I'm a meanie, look at me. Bad Laura, bad. You're so bad, bad, bad!
Outtake #4[]
Junior: Who are you?
Pa Grape: Who? Us?
Junior: Yeah.
Pa Grape: Oh, we are the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything.
Mr. Lunt: Oh, you know that's right.
Larry: Nothin'.
Mr. Lunt: Zilch.
Larry: Uh... nothin'.
Mr. Lunt: You already said "nothing".
Larry: I didn't say nothin'.
Mr. Lunt: Yes, you did. “Nothing, zilch, nada." "Nothing, zilch, nada."
Larry: Oh, yeah. "Zilch".
Mr. Lunt: No. I say "zilch", you say, "nada".
Larry: What about "nothin'"?
Mr. Lunt: (inhales) Yes. (cut to outtake #4b)
Pa Grape: Oh, we are the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything.
Mr. Lunt: Oh, you know that's right.
Larry: Nothin'.
Mr. Lunt: Zilch.
Larry: Zilch.
Mr. Lunt: "Nada". "Naa-Daa"!
Larry: "Nada". Right. Got it. (cut to outtake #4c)
Pa Grape: Oh, we are the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything.
Mr. Lunt: Oh, you know that's right.
Larry: Nothin'.
Mr. Lunt: Zilch.
Larry: Noodle! (Mr. Lunt bangs his head on the table while Pa Grape walks away) "Nada"! "Naaa-Daaa"!
Outtake #5[]
Tape (from bag): You are so vain, I bet you think this movie's about you. Don't you?
Jonah: What? (Tape from bag repeating "don't you?") (Laughs) Good one, boys. Thank you, yes. Very funny. (cut to outtake #5b)
Tape (from bag): Knock knock. Knock knock.
Jonah: Uh, Who's there?
Tape (from bag): Big goofy asparagus in a turban.
Jonah: Big goofy aspa... oh. Ha ha, very funny! You crack me up.
Outtake #6[]
Jonah (cont'd): Mr. Twisty? (He sees something's in the bag) Who- Who's there?! Show yourself!
Khalil (from bag): Come on! Come on! Come on! Ah, it won't open! AH! It won't open! Get me out of here! (bag falls over) Claustrophobia runs very deep in my family! Someone get me out! Aah!! I am going to die in Tarshish! I need help! Heeeellllppp!!! Ow! Ow! Help! Ow!! Help!
Jonah: Help? We may need some help over here! Uh, try using your teeth! Uh, breathe through the burlap! It's a loose knit!
Outtake #7[]
Bob: Oh...
Dad Asparagus: ...Dear.
All: Aaah!!!!
(Van crashes into tree stump; Bob and Dad Asparagus get hit with air bags)
Bob: Okay, kids. Rest stop.
Dad Asparagus: Has anybody seen my... Teeth? (cut to outtake #7b)
(Van crashes into tree stump; Bob and Dad Asparagus get hit with air bags)
Bob: Bad underwear.
Dad Asparagus: Grandma, I sure do love your pie. (cut to outtake #7c)
(Van crashes into tree stump; Bob and Dad Asparagus get hit with air bags)
Bob: Is this the road to Tipperary?
Dad Asparagus: Here, kitty-kitty-kitty-kitty, here, kitty.
Outtake #8[]
Jonah: Oh, those polo days in Cambridge are really going to pay off!
(He tries to jump onto Reginald's saddle but slides off)
Jonah: Check in turn. Check in turn. Nice pony. (cut to outtake #8b) Just a little more vertical on take off. Plant and...
(He tries to mount Reginald again but leaps over him to the other side)
Jonah: Does anybody have ibuprofen? I need ibuprofen. (Cut to outtake #8c. Jonah tries to mount Reginald a third time but bumps off his side. As Jonah groans, Reginald hears an airplane flying overhead)
Outtake #9[]
Mr. Lunt: You know, these lobsters remind me of my Aunt Lucy. This may come as a surprise to you, but my Aunt Lucy was a lobster.
Pa Grape: Yeah, right.
Mr. Lunt: No, really! I mean a pretty big one, too. Sometimes when she fell asleep, we used to pull on her tendons to make her legs move.
Pa Grape: No—
Mr. Lunt: No, really, it was fun! We did it at the church picnic once and we actually got her walking across the table.
Junior: WHAT?!?!
Mr. Lunt: Hey! They told me to adlib! You don't give me a script, you take what you get, my friend.
Pa Grape: True. But the kid's got a point. That was odd.
Larry: Dude, you are weird.
Outtake #10[]
(The Nineveh Guards put a pumpkin with a smiling face on the slapper. When one guard turns it around, instead of a nervous face, the pumpkin has a text that says "Slap me, I'm Irish.")
Outtake #11[]
Larry: Thar she blows!
Mr. Lunt: Where?
Larry: Right there!
(He loses his grip on the spyglass and it drops on Mr. Lunt's nose)
Larry: (gasps)
Mr. Lunt: Medic.
Larry: Sorry! It's kinda slick!
Outtake #12[]
Khalil: ...told them what they were doing wrong, they said they were sor-
(He falls off the edge of the cliff) AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!
Outtake #13[]
(Jonah sits on the edge of the cliff but suddenly slides off. He comes back up)
Jonah: Oh! I'm alive!