Esther... The Girl Who Became Queen/Transcript

This is an episode transcript for Esther... The Girl Who Became Queen

Transcript

(Episode opens at a palace in Persia at night.)

Narrator: A wiseman once said not to be afraid of greatness. Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon 'em.

(Scene switches to the outside windows of the palace, where Haman (Mr. Lunt), in silhouette, knocks on the door of the Queen's bedroom.)

Queen Vashti: Who is it?

Haman: Um... Your highness. Uh... The king was wondering... if you could make him a sandwich.

(Queen Vashti answers the door, in silhouette.)

Queen Vashti: It's 3:00 in the morning.

Haman: Uh... Yeah. But uh... he says that he's the king and whatever he says go.

Queen Vashti: Well I'm the queen, and the king can make his own sandwich. (She shuts the door to her room.)

Haman: Okay.

(Haman throws Queen Vashti out of the palace.)

Queen Vashti: You can't do this to me! I'm the queen!

Haman: Oh, ho, you wanna bet? (throws a suitcase at Queen Vashti) The king can do whatever he wants! He's the king. (Queen Vashti leaves, as King Xerxes (Mr. Nezzer) comes up to the door) And don't come back!

King Xerxes: Don't you think that might have been a little harsh?

Haman: Oh, no way. If she got away with that, no one would listen to you.

King Xerxes: Well, what am I gonna do now?

Haman: It looks like we're gonna have to find you a new queen.

King Xerxes: Hmm. Make me a sandwich.

Narrator: This is the story of a great person. It's hard to say whether our hero was born that way, or was just placed in the right place at the right time and decided to do the right thing. I suppose you could be the judge of that. Oh, and one more thing, our hero isn't a king. Just an ordinary girl.

(The camera zooms to the palace as night turns to day. As this happens, subtitles say "Big Idea Productions Presents", and then the episode's title is revealed. The scene then fades to daytime, as we cut to a town setting in Persia. We pan down to reveal Mordecai (Pa Grape) and his cousin Esther.)

Mordecai: Now wait a minute, wait a minute, Essie.

Esther: Yeah?

Mordecai: Let me see if I got this. You saw your friend steal an apple.

Esther: Yeah, that's right.

Mordecai: Now, it wasn't hers, but she took it.

Esther: Yep.

Mordecai: And now you don't know what to do.

Esther: Yeah what should I do?

Mordecai: What do you think you should do?

Esther: Well, uh...I suppose I tell her it was wrong and that she should pay for it.

Mordecai: Sounds like a good answer!

Esther: Yeah but I'm...I'm too scared.

Mordecai: Esther.

Esther: Yeah, Cousin Mordecai?

Mordecai: How long have I been your cousin?

Esther: Well, uh, pretty much forever.

Mordecai: Eh, give or take. Have I ever steered you wrong?

Esther: Well, no I guess.

Mordecai: You never need to be afraid to do what's right. Do you remember that song your grandmother used to sing?

Esther: Um... You mean the one about God being on our side and not having to be afraid? Yeah, I remember that one.

Mordecai: Good.

Esther: But what if she doesn't want to be my friend anymore?

Mordecai: Oh, Essie. You can do the right thing, and there are problems out there, a lot bigger than stolen apples.

(Haman approaches in his car.)

Mordecai: (gasps) Like that one! It's Haman! That guy hates me! I gotta get scarce! (Hides behind the bulletin board.)

(The car comes to a stop, as a Crony pea (Percy Pea) hops out.)

Crony: Ahem! Make way for Haman, the king's right hand man!

Haman: (Jumps on the trunk, which opens, and Haman lands on the roof of the wagon and smiles.) Hello people of Persia! His royal highness, King Xerxes, finds himself for reasons that do not concern you, in need of a new queen! (Crowd gasps) So, I would like to ask all eligible young ladies to please come with me! (Opens the wagon door and four of the ladies in the square get inside. Esther tries to get away, but Haman notices her.) Um, young lady? That means you.

Esther: If it's all the same to be king, I think I'd rather stay right here.

Haman: I did not ask you if you were interested. The king needs a queen. (Jumps in the driver seat) Get in the wagon.

Mordecai: (Pops his head out) Um, Essie. For your own good, you should probably go!

Esther: What, but I....sir, I need to stay here so I can take of my-

Mordecai: Shhhh!!

Haman (Questioning Esther): Did you shush me?

Mordecai: What? No, (Gets out from behind the bulletin board) I was shushing-

Haman: Hey I know you. You're Mordecai.

Mordecai: Hello, Haman.

Haman: You can call me "sir"! You know, we both work for the king. But compared to me, you are a g-nat!

Mordecai: There's a g, silent. It's "gnat".

Haman : (offended) Are you calling me a g-nat?!

Mordecai: No! Just trying to correct your pronunciation.

Haman: (Angrily, he jumps out of the driver's seat) Are you calling me stupid?!

Mordecai: Uh, no?

Haman: (Angrily, to Esther) You, get in the wagon! (To Mordecai) You, bow to me!

Mordecai: Uh... no!

Haman : (Angry) Bow!

Mordecai: (Defensive) No!

Haman: (Angry) Bow!

Mordecai : (Angry) I bow to no one except my God and my king!

Haman : (Angry) Hrrrrrggg! Get in the wagon!

Esther: But I want to stay with my-

Mordecai: Shhh!

Haman : (Angry) Did you shush me again?!

Mordecai: No! Oy! Essie, go. I'll explain later!

(Esther gets in the wagon and Haman drives away as the door closes. A crash is heard, along with a woman scream, then the car turns around, and out of the village.)

Haman: Mark my words, old man! One of these days!

(We then fade to the front of the palace at night, to which we then cut to a balcony on one of the towers, where Esther is.)

Mordecai: Essie, Essie, are you there?

Esther: Cousin Mordecai? Mordecai, what's go-

Mordecai: Shhhh! Okay, okay. Sorry about all the shushing. But look, Haman hates us, hates the whole family. If he knew I was your cousin, he'd hate you too. And then, you could be in great danger. Esther, you mustn't let anyone here know that you're a part of our family.

Esther: But I don't even want to be here. Why do I have to be here?

Mordecai: Oh, Essie. I don't know the future. But God does. Maybe there's a reason. I'll come visit you again. (Mordecai climbs down the balcony.)

(Tell Me Why)

Esther (Singing): Tell me why I don't understand. Tell me why, or show me your hand. Tell me why because I can't see my way through. What now, should I do?

(Fades in black, we hear the song Lost Puppies.)

(Lost Puppies)

Miss Achmetha (Singing): Puppies are cuddly, puppies are cute, they're never nasty or mean. (sniff). I'd give a home to all the lost puppies, if ever one day I were Queeeeeeeen! Arf!

(The next shot shows King Xerxes and Haman unamused, then in the next shot, the Host (Scallion #1) appears on stage holding a piece of paper)

Host (Embarrassed): Yes, that was contestant #37 Miss Achmetha.

King Xerxes: What am I gonna do with all those dogs? (King Xerxes pulls out a thumb down sign, then Haman pulls out a thumb down sign. After which, the king bellows) Next!

(Miss Achmetha goes away, offended.)

Host: Ah, yes. Ahem. Now, all the way from Babylon, home of the hanging gardens... Miss Babylon!

(The camera flies to the left end of the stage, where spotlights shine and a fanfare is heard. Then, the camera flies back to the host, who is waiting for Esther to come out. The same fanfare plays again, only with just one trumpet. The host then hops to the left of the stage.)

Host: (Whispering) Go ahead.

Esther: (Pops her head out from behind a curtain) What am I supposed to do again?

Host: A song. You're supposed to sing a song. Didn't you prepare anything?

Esther: I guess I wasn't expecting to get this far.

Host: Well, please! Sing something. You're making me look bad!

(King Xerxes starts looking impatient)

Esther: Let's see.

Mordecai (In Esther's thoughts): Remember that song your grandmother used to sing?

Esther: (Finally gets an idea) Okay I got something. (She nods at someone off-screen, telling the band to play "The Battle Prelude". And Esther starts to sing in front of the king, while she sings, the host smiles in delight.)

Esther (Singing): The battle is not ours. We look to God above. For He will guide us safely through, and guard us with His love. So do not be afraid. We need not run and hide. For there is nothing we can't face when God is at our side.

(After the song ends, King Xerxes and Haman give a thumbs up by raising their "thumb up" signs at the same time.)

Host: (Gasps) Oh, yes! (Shouts into the mic) We have a new queen! What's your name, dear? (Esther whispers her name into the host's ear, although her whispering isn't heard.) Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce you to... Queen Esther!

(The crowd cheers and bright lights flash around Esther, with her picture being taken as a tiara is place on her head. Then we fade back to the balcony of the tower. Although Esther won, she still feels down and takes off her tiara.)

Mordecai (While climbing): Essie, Essie, I just heard the news! You're the queen of all... Persia.

Esther (Depressed): Yep.

Mordecai: Well, you gotta be at least a little excited.

Esther (Depressed): Nobody even asked me if I wanted to be queen! 

Mordecai: Oh, Essie. You always did have a mind of your own. I always liked that about you! Oh, don't worry. There must be a reason. But hey, tomorrow you'll be introduced for the court. That'll be fun. (Mordecai heads back to the vines and starts to climb down.) Oh, get some rest, Queen Essie. My cousin, queen of Persia! Heh, who knew?

Esther (Calling from above): Mordecai, the king. What's he like?

Mordecai (Calling from below): Oh, he's sharp, real sharp. I bet you're really gonna like him!

(The scene cuts to King Xerxes using his mirror while he smiles.)

King Xerxes: Do you think she's gonna like me?

Haman: Oh, you bet she will. You're the king. Everybody likes you, under penalty of death.

King Xerxes: Well yeah, but... you know, even if I weren't the king -- say I was one of those guys who cleans up after the camels or a lawyer or somethin'? Do you still think?

Haman: No doubt about it. You're big and strong, charming, handsome, why, any girl in the whole kingdom would be happy to make you a sandwich, king or no king.

(While Haman is talking, Bigthen Peaoni (Jean-Claude) peeks in through the doors, and we then see a trap he and his brother have set for the king: A piano is hanging from a rope which stretches from two pulleys, and is being held by his brother, Teresh Peaoni (Phillipe). The camera pans back to the throne.)

King Xerxes: You really think so?

Haman: Oh, I know so.

King Xerxes: Well, all right then. Bring her in.

(Haman leaves to get Esther. The king's scribe, Markus (Larry), is writing stuff down on a scroll. King Xerxes looks at himself in the mirror again, and polishes his breath, then breathes on the mirror, the smiles again. When he puts down the mirror, he notices Bigthen, and yells in surprise.)

Bigthen: Hello king!

King Xerxes: Who are you?

Bigthen: I am Bigthen, your royal chef.

King Xerxes: Well... what are you doin' here? I don't remember inviting...

Bigthen: Every newlywed needs a cake, no?

(He goes over to the left to reveal a cake he made for the king, which is standing under the piano.)

King Xerxes: Oh my. Well, that's lovely. You made that for me?

(While the king is talking, Teresh looks over to Bigthen to see if the time is right to release the piano. Bigthen shakes his head "no".)

Bigthen: Oui!

King Xerxes: Oh, you shouldn't have! It looks delicious. Why don't you bring me over a piece?

Bigthen: W-well, you know, I was thinking you could come over here to eat it.

King Xerxes: Oh, well, I always eat right here on my throne. Why would I need to come over--

Bigthen: Oh, oh, King! I-it's... the light! Th-the light in this particular spot is just right! You can only appreciate the full beauty of this confectionery masterpiece, in the proper light!

(While the king is talking, Bigthen looks over to Teresh, who is struggling to hold on to the rope, and accidentally lowers the piano an inch. He again checks with Bigthen to see if the time is right, and Bigthen again shakes his head "no".)

King Xerxes: Ooh, light, huh? Well, that makes sense, I guess. I suppose I could come over there.

(The King does so, and as he does, Haman brings Esther before him.)

Haman: Hey, who's this guy?

Bigthen: I-I am the royal chef.

Haman: I've never seen you.

Bigthen: I'm, uh... new.

(Camera pans over to Mordecai, who is hiding behind a pot to avoid Haman.)

King Xerxes: He made me a cake. Isn't that nice?

Mordecai: (to Esther) Psst! (He gestures her to come over to him.)

Haman: Did you invite him?

King Xerxes: Eh...no.

(Mordecai whispers to Esther and points out to her the trap that the Peaoni brothers have set for the King.)

Haman: Did you tell him what can happen to someone who appears before you uninvited?

King Xerxes: Well...no. I was too busy thinkin' about that cake. Doesn't it look yummy?

Esther: (Gasp) Stop! It's a trap!

(Teresh, overhearing her, jumps in surprise, holding on to the rope and releasing the piano, which crashes onto the cake. The king gets out of the way in the nick of time, but gets splashed by bits of cake.)

King Xerxes: Why's there a piano on my cake?

(The rope unwinds from the pulleys and Teresh lands harmlessly next to Bigthen. They look at each other, then smile to the King and Haman nervously, before running away.)

Haman: Seize them!

(The Peaoni Brothers (French peas) keep running until they run into Mordecai, who glares at them. Markus continues writing, then sighs in relief.)

Haman: Hey, aren't you the Peaoni Brothers, the most wanted peas in Persia?

Bigthen: That's right we are!

Teresh: And we could have taken over the kingdom, if it wasn't for that meddling queen!

King Xerxes: You saved my life!

Esther: Well, actually, Your Highness, it was the good guard Mordecai. He alerted me. It was Mordecai who saved your life.

(Haman is shocked to hear this as Markus continues writing.)

King Xerxes: Oh, well, Mordecai...I, uh...

Haman: (interrupting him) Ah, King! What should the punishment be for these two dangerous criminals, the most wanted peas in Persia, who appeared before you uninvited and tried to drop a piano on your head?

(As Haman is talking, Bigthen blows a raspberry at Haman while he's looking away. When he turns back towards them, Bigthen smiles as if nothing happened.)

King Xerxes: Well, lessee... it should probably be pretty stiff, huh? What do you think?

Haman: I say, the punishment should be... banishment to the Island of Perpetual Tickling!

(Markus, Mordecai, Esther, and King Xerxes are in shock after hearing this.)

Teresh: You don't mean...

Bigthen: ...the island where you are tickled day and night...

Teresh: ...night and day...

Bigthen: ...without stop...

Teresh: ...not even if you say "pretty please?!"

(The Peaoni Brothers scream, and the Grim Tickler, who is wearing a robe with a feather sticking out of the left arm, comes and tickles the Peaoni Brothers out of the throne room.)

Peaoni Brothers: No! (They start giggling uncontrollably.)

Narrator: There are two things you don't do in Persia. One of them is trying to drop a piano on the King's head. The other is appearing before him uninvited. The Peaoni Brothers found these things out the hard way.

(We fade the kingdom at night. In another shot, Haman sneaks into the courtroom where King Xerxes awaits him.)

Narrator: Now it might seem that things are going pretty well for Esther and Mordecai. After all, they saved the King's life. But Haman had something else up his sleeve...or wherever. You see, nothing could be worse for Haman than for his enemy Mordecai to be on the King's good side. If the king liked Mordecai more than him, it might jeopardize his position as his second in command. So Haman came up with his own sneaky, little plan.

(Haman's Song/There Are Those Who Can't Be Trusted)

Haman: (singing) Your Highness, I believe there is much to fear.

King Xerxes: Really? Those Peaonis are no longer here.

Haman: (singing) A much greater danger may await you now.

King Xerxes: How's that possible?

Haman: (singing) With permission, Your Highness, I'll tell you how.

King Xerxes: Go on.

Haman: (singing) It's my duty to inform you, and if I'm correct, to ignore this great emergency would be neglect. It's the motto of my office, serve and protect. There are those who walk among us who show no respect.

King Xerxes: Really?

Haman: (singing) The law must be adjusted. There are those who can't be trusted.

King Xerxes: Oh my goodness! Tell me about these people?

Haman: (singing) A sneaky little family who do sneaky little things, who stick their sneaky noses into matters of the king. I fear if they're not dealt with, the process makes me weep. A zucchini-shaped sarcophagus is where you'll sleep.

King Xerxes: Really? (singing) The nerve! I am disgusted.

Haman: (singing) There are those who can't be trusted.

King Xerxes: That sure don't sound like a nice family.

Haman: Nope! (singing) Your Highness, I believe we must act with speed.

King Xerxes: Agreed! Say the word, I'll give you what you need.

Haman: (singing) A simple solution, but you must act now.

King Xerxes: Well, how can I help?

Haman: (singing) With permission, Your Highness, I'll tell you how.

King Xerxes: Go on.

Haman: (singing) After careful calculation, I've got just da ting: We'll send them to the dreaded isle of tickling. But before I can take action, we have to close the deal. And it needs the kingly imprint of your royal seal.

King Xerxes: (singing) I agree! They must be busted.

King Xerxes and Haman: (singing) There are those who can't be trusted. That sneaky little family who do sneaky little things, who stick their sneaky noses into matters of the king. For crimes against the kingdom, their punishment is steep. The isle of endless tickling is where they'll sleep.

(A pea guard comes before the king with an edict to banish the family to the Island of Perpetual Tickling.)

King Xerxes: (singing) The law is now adjusted... (He signs the edict.)

King Xerxes and Haman: (singing) For those who can't be trusted.

(Haman exits the throne room with the edict, then out the hallway, then outside the palace downstairs, then over to a post with many other posters. He puts the edict on the post, revealing the family to be Mordecai's.)

Haman: Ha! (singing) Mordecai is busted! (Hops out of the scene as the camera zooms out)

Male Chorus (Singing): There are those who can't be trusted.

(Haman leaves to the right of the post, then exits the scene. After the song ends, Mordecai hops by the bulletin board)

Mordecai: Huh? (Notices his picture and hops back) What's this? (Sees his eviction notice and takes it off to show Esther) Oy! (Runs back to the balcony) Essie!

(The screen fades back to the balcony with Esther, who hears Mordecai shouting as he climbs up.)

Mordecai: Essie! Essie!

Esther: Cousin Mordecai? What is it?

Mordecai: Oh, he's done it! He's finally done it!

Esther: Who? Done what?

Mordecai: Look! (Shows Esther Haman's edict)

Esther: What's this?

Mordecai: It's an edict! In just a few days, all of us, our whole family! We'll all be sent to the Island of Perpetual Tickling!

Esther (Outraged): What!? Who... who did this!?

Mordecai: Oh, who do you think? Haman! I told you he hates us! Hates our whole family! And now he's done it! He got the king to sign this, and... and... we'll all be banished!

Esther: Oh! What are you going to do?

Mordecai: That's just it, I can't do anything. I'm just a guard. (Then realizes Esther is the queen) But you! You're the queen.

Esther: What do you mean?

Mordecai: You must go to him! You must go to the king!

Esther: WHAT!? Don't you know what happens to people who appear before the king uninvited?

Mordecai: Esther...

Esther: Remember the Peaoni brothers?

Mordecai: Esther, there is no other way! You are the only one who can stop this!

Esther (Frustrated): No! No, I'm not gonna, I... (Takes off her tiara and slams it down in frustration) I didn't even want to be the queen! No! You're smart, Mordecai. Think of another way.

Mordecai: Esther, there is no other way.

Esther (Frustrated): I... I wasn't even brave enough to go to my friend about the apple. And... and now you want me to go to the king? Even if he doesn't banish me for showing up, why would he listen to me? I mean, Haman is his right hand man!

Mordecai: I can't tell you what to do, but I can tell you this. You wanted to know why you were here. Why you became queen. I told you God must have a reason. Esther, perhaps He put you here for such a time as this. Perhaps this is the reason! Esther, you never have to be afraid to do what's right. I'll pray for you. We'll all pray for you.

(As soon as Mordecai climbs down the vines, "Tell me why" starts to play.)

Esther (Singing): Tell me why I don't understand. Tell me why, or show me your hand. Tell me why because I can't see my way through. What now, should I do?

(The music begins to alter with notes playing "The Battle Prelude" in the background, with drums banging to the beat of the score as Esther puts her tiara back on.)

Esther (Singing): The battle is not ours. We look to God above. For He will guide us safely through, and guard us with His love. I will not be afraid! I will not run and hide! (Esther starts showing a little bit more of a smile at this point) For there is nothing I can't face when God is at my side. No, there is nothing I can't face when God is at my side. (The sun starts to rise and Esther starts feeling a little more courageous and confident as she watches the sunrise.) The battle is not ours. We look to God above. For He will guide us safely through, and guard us with His love.

(Screen fades from the balcony to the outside of the castle during morning. Then fading to Esther heading to the king in his courtroom.)

Narrator: Another one of them wise guys once said, that in a moment of truth, a great person doesn't have to think much about what they're going to say or do. They just speak and do what's right. Esther knew what she had to do was right, so, she figured she didn't have to be nervous. (Esther looks back, debating whether to go for it or not.) Alright, so she was a little nervous, but give her a break.

(Off-screen, we hear a toilet flush, then Markus walks up to the entrance.)

Markus: Hi queen. (Opens the door and enters)

(Esther enters after him, and as she enters slowly, we hear Haman speaking.)

Haman: (O.S.) So we're all set! I got the big boat reserved for Friday. Two more days, and we'll be rid of that dangerous family forever!

King Xerxes: Good work, Haman! What would I do without you?

(King Xerxes and Haman notice Esther, as she looks on horrified.)

Haman: Hey, who invited the queen? Did you invite the queen?

King Xerxes: Uh, no. I don't think I did.

(Esther gulps, awaiting to be banished.)

King Xerxes: But that's okay!

(Both Esther and Markus sigh in relief.)

King Xerxes: C'mon over here, Queenie Pooh!

(Esther walks up to the king.)

King Xerxes: I dunno if anybody told you, but popping up uninvited is generally discouraged around here.

Haman: By death or banishment.

(King Xerxes angrily looks at Haman.)

King Xerxes: But my little Queenie Pooh can visit me anytime she wants!

(Esther smiles.)

King Xerxes: So what is it you want? Just tell me. Whatever you want, it's yours!

Esther: (Haman stares at her, which scares her.) Um, if it, uh....if it pleases the king, there's something that I'd like to....(Haman stares at her harder, which horrifies her.) ....I'd like you and Haman to come to dinner tonight!

(King Xerxes and Haman stare at each other for a second, then smile.)

King Xerxes: Oh, isn't that nice! She's inviting us over for dinner!

Haman: Mhm!

King Xerxes: You bet! We'd love to come! What time do you want us over?

Esther: ...uh, say 8?

King Xerxes: 8 it is!

Esther: Uh, see ya then. (Esther walks off, upset at herself for bailing out.)

Haman: Oh, that's nice.

King Xerxes: Yep, she's a keeper!

(We then fade to the front of the palace at night.)

Narrator: Now, don't get me wrong. Showing up uninvited before his highness is a very brave thing to do. But telling the king that his right hand man is weasel is especially difficult. What if he doesn't believe her?

(We fade to inside Esther's place, and the camera flies to the right, where we see all sorts of Chinese food lined up on a table. It stops as we see King Xerxes and Haman playing "Trivial Pursuit".)

If the weasel stays, well, let's just say it wouldn't be so hot for our girl.

(Esther hops up to King Xerxes and Haman with a platter full of soft drinks in cups with straws)

No. Esther was looking for just the right moment to spring the news on him.

Haman: Okay, this is for the wedgie.

King Xerxes: It's for the wedgie?

Haman: Mhm!

King Xerxes: Ooh, make it an easy one!

Haman: Okay. (picks up a card) "Who was the youngest Jackson?"

King Xerxes: Oh, I think I know that one! It's, uh....wasn't it, uh....Tito! Yeah, Tito!

Haman: Nope, not Tito.

King Xerxes: Not Tito?

Haman: Nope.

King Xerxes: I thought for sure it was Tito.

Haman: Nope, not Tito!

King Xerxes: Not Tito?

(Esther puts down the platter.)

Esther: Um, your highness? The real reason I asked you over tonight was to.....

(King Xerxes listens, while sipping on his drink.)

Esther: Was to.....

(Haman stares at her, which frightens her.)

Esther: ...to see if you would both like to join me for dinner again tomorrow night!

(Xerxes and Haman stare at each other for a second.)

King Xerxes: Well sure! Yeah, that sounds great!

Haman: (over-top of Xerxes' dialogue) Oh, yeah! I'd love to come!

(Esther picks up the empty platter, angry at herself for bailing out again.)

King Xerxes: (O.S.) Are ya sure it wasn't Tito?

Haman: (O.S.) Nope, not Tito!

(We fade to the palace gate, which Mordecai is guarding. Haman is on his way out, while holding a stack of cards.)

Haman: Well, hello there!

(Mordecai doesn't respond.)

Haman: I guess there's not much to say, eh Mordecai? Seeing how in two days, you'll be waking up in Chuckle City! Ha! Y'know, I just came from dinner with the king and queen, and they invited me over again tomorrow night! Heh, I guess they must like me. Why don't you like me, Mordecai?

Mordecai: Eeesh....

Haman: Y'know, it wouldn't be too hard to show me that you like me. Just a little bow, that's all. Is that so hard? Eh, who knows? I'm a very influential guy. I might be able to work something out for you and your family-

Mordecai: Arrogance is not fitting for a fool, Haman! Much less is lying fitting for a right hand man! I'll NEVER bow to you!

(Haman throws his card stack in shock.)

Haman: Hngggh...oh yeah?! Well, maybe this "foolish right hand man" can arrange for you to take your trip to Tickle Town TONIGHT!!

(Haman storms back through the palace gates, leaving Mordecai worried. We cut to a card flipping over, revealing the word "Janet", which was the answer to "Who was the youngest Jackson?". Then, we cut to King Xerxes in his bedroom, while Markus is reading him his recorded events for the day.)

Markus: "9:28 a.m.: King puts on his slippers and brushes his teeth. 9:32: King cuts himself shaving".

King Xerxes: Ouch! I remember that one. How 'bout something more recent? You got anything more recent?

(Markus looks through his scroll.)

King Xerxes: Thanks for doing this. Y'know, it really does help me sleep.

Markus: "1:40: King is joined by Haman in the throne room".

King Xerxes: I really like it when you read me these records. I guess you could say it's the story of me!

Markus: "1:45: Haman leaves to get queen. 1:47: Chef arrives with wedding cake".

(Xerxes' eyes open in suspense.)

Markus: "1:50: King stands up to eat cake".

King Xerxes: Ooh! This is a good one! Excitement! Drama!

Markus: "1:51: The king's life is saved by the guard, Mordecai. 1:52..."

King Xerxes: Wait! Wait! Wait! Did you say Mordecai saved my life? He's that little grape with the mustache, right?

Markus: Uh, yep.

King Xerxes: Mordecai, huh? Did we ever do anything to thank him for that?

Markus: Uh, nope.

King Xerxes: That's a shame. Maybe I oughta give him a card or something, y'know, to show my appreciation?

(A knocking is heard at the door.)

King Xerxes: I wish I were more creative with things like that. Uh, come in!

(Haman bursts through the door, out of breath.)

Haman: King! I have a most urgent request! I'm wondering if you can...

King Xerxes: (interrupting him) W-wait a minute there, Haman! Lemme ask you something. I need a little creative advice.

Haman: Ah...oh..okay. What is it?

King Xerxes: Okay, there's this really great guy that I really wanna thank, y'know, showing my appreciation for something he did. You got any ideas?

Haman: (Thinking Xerxes is talking about himself) Oh, heh, well King I'm flattered! I, uh...

King Xerxes: (interrupting him) I was thinking of a card or something.

Haman: Oh, no, no! No, cards are nice, but this sounds like a very special guy!

King Xerxes: Uh-huh!

Haman: It sounds like the kinda guy who deserves a.....parade!

King Xerxes: A parade! Hmm.....

Haman: Yeah! I think this guy should be dressed in royal robes, and be marched through the whole city on your horse! And...and..and maybe you should even let him wear one of your crowns!

King Xerxes: I guess he is pretty special.

Haman: And one of your most noble princes should lead this man through the streets proclaiming, "This is a really neat guy! The king really likes him! He's brave and has rugged good looks!"

(Both Xerxes and Markus look a bit confused.)

King Xerxes: Ya see, Haman? You're the creative one around here! What would I do without you?

Haman: Oh, well, y'know, thank you your highness. I, uh...I...

King Xerxes: (interrupting him) All those things you mentioned, every last one, do that for the good guard Mordecai, the man who saved my life!

(This horrifies Haman.)

Haman: (horrified) Eh?!

King Xerxes: And...and you be the one to go with him on that parade, okay?

Haman: (horrified) Eeeee!!!

King Xerxes: I knew I could count on you. Lucky thing you dropped by! Now, what was it you wanted?

Haman: (too horrified to even ask) Eh...gnegh......

King Xerxes: Y'know, maybe you should ask me tomorrow. I'm getting kinda sleepy. Goodnight!

(Markus slams the door in Haman's face, who's still horrified. We then fade to the front of the palace.)

Narrator: They say that pride comes before a fall. It looks like nobody told that to Haman.

(We fade to the front doors of the castle)

But if Mordecai, Esther, and their whole family are gonna be saved, Esther's gotta come through. And she's only got one more chance.

(With the camera staying at the front doors, night fades to day with birds tweeting. Then day fades to night. We then cut over to the front of Esther's place, where she and King Xerxes are having pizza.)

Esther: I wonder where Haman could be?

Mordecai (O.S.): See you, Haman! Thanks for the parade! (Laughs)

Haman: Laugh all you want (Opens the door), you won't be laughing tomorrow! (Evilly laughs, but then stops.) No wait, you will. Oh, never mind. (Turns to Esther and King Xerxes) Hi. Sorry I'm late. (Closes the door)

Esther: The real reason I called both of you here again tonight is to... (Starts feeling nervous) is to... to...

Mordecai (In Esther's thoughts): Remember Esther, you never need to be afraid to do what's right.

(With that thought, Esther finally shows courage and asserts herself.)

Esther: Your highness, someone is plotting against my family. Tomorrow, my people and I will be banished to the Island of Perpetual Tickling!

King Xerxes: What? Banish my queen? Who would dare?

Esther (Angry at Haman): It's Haman!

King Xerxes (Questioning Haman): Is this true?

Haman: I don't know what she's talking about. She's crazy!

Esther: It is true!

King Xerxes: (To Esther) Can you prove this charge?

Haman: I'm telling you, she's making it up!

(Shows the Edict paper.)

King Xerxes: Wait a minute, that's Mordecai. I just gave him a parade!

Esther: Mordecai is my cousin. His family is MY family!

(Haman squeals.)

King Xerxes (Angry): You had me banish the man who saved my life and my own queen?!

(Haman squeals again.)

King Xerxes (Angry): For your punishment Haman, you are to be sent to The Island of Perpetual Tickling, along with anyone else who dares scheme against my queen and her family!

(The Grim Tickler slams the door open to Esther's home, taking Haman.)

Haman: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! (The Grim Tickler tickles Haman with his feather and Haman laughs as he is tickled out the door, just like with the Peaoni Brothers.)

Haman (While laughing): Oh no, ple-he-he-ase stop it! Please sto-ha-ha-hap! Ha-ha, you're killing me, ha! Ha-ha-pretty please?

(Fades to black, then fades to Mordecai at the palace.)

Narrator: So Haman got what was coming to him, and then some. And Mordecai, this is my favorite part, (Markus gives Mordecai a paper) he got Haman's old job. The number two guy in the whole kingdom! Not bad.

(Mordecai hands King Xerxes the paper and draws a diagonal line on the 3 O's, winning Tic-Tac-Toe. Then we cut over to the castle balcony, where Esther is shown smiling and proud of doing the right thing as she watches the sunrise.)

And Esther, what a gal! She showed more courage than ten kings and saved her people! Now, she wasn't born for greatness, she didn't go to school for it, she just learned that sometimes God has plans so big only He can see them. All she had to do was believe. Yep, she was just a regular kid, just like you.

THE END

(The credits play an instrumental of "Haman's Song" and the uncut version of "Lost Puppies")