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Do Unto Brothers

This is the episode transcript for Do Unto Brothers.


(The episode opens with Jason feeding a goldfish.)

Jason: Chow time, Harold! Come and get it! Want some candy?

(He's about to give the fish a gummy worm, but Grandmum stops him.)

Grandmum: No, no, no candy. Harold gets fish food. And you get Grandmum's kidney relish rhubarb pie.

Jason: Ugh. Be thankful you're a fish.

(As Jason puts fish food into the bowl, Michelle runs downstairs.)

Michelle: Something terrible has happened!

Grandmum: What's wrong, pumpkin?

Michelle: I can't find Miss Pretty Pretty!

Jason: That's the terrible thing?! Give me a break!

Grandmum: Come on, cupcake, she must be around here somewhere. I'll look in the kitchen.

Jason: That reminds me.

(Jason goes to the window and looks through binoculars.)

Michelle: Birdwatching?! When Miss Pretty Pretty is missing?!

Jason: I just remembered I lost my baseball glove, so I was looking for it.

Michelle: Yeah, I can see, very helpful.

(Michelle takes the binoculars.)

Jason: Hey, I was looking for it!

Grandmum: Not in the fridge either, love.

Michelle: Grandmum, Jason's doing zippo to help me find my doll.

Jason: Well, she's not helping me find my baseball glove, either.

Grandmum: Well, now, here's an idea. What say you two work together? You'll get the job done twice as fast that way.

Michelle: Work together? Why?

Grandmum: Don't you remember what the Good Book says? "Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their hard work."

Jason: Yeah, but--

Grandmum: I'm not done, crumpet. "For if one of them should fall, the other one can raise his partner up." Work together, you'll both be better off for it.

Michelle: But he doesn't help me.

Jason: And she's no partner.

Grandmum: Oh, that kind of attitude will land you both in a sea of troubles. You're in the same boat. Might as well work together.

(After Jason takes back the binoculars, he looks through them again and sees the Rockhopper flying towards him and Michelle.)

Kevin: Help!

Michelle: Calm down. Now, where's the captain?

Kevin: Kidnapped. Gone.

(Both kids are brought on board the ship. After the opening theme, cut to inside the ship, where we see that the rest of the ship's crew is not present.)

Michelle: Kevin, who kidnapped Zidgel, Fidgel, and Midgel?

Kevin: (evil laughter)

Jason and Michelle: Cavitus?!

Kevin: Right, now you charade, and I'll guess.

Jason: We can't fight Cavitus alone! He's too big! He's too mean! This isn't our job! We're toast!

Kevin: Zidgel! Very good! Ooh, want me to do Fidgel? (Puts on Fidgel's glasses.) I say, old chum?

Jason: Ha! That was great! Me next!

Michelle: We have a big problem here, in case you didn't notice! Kevin, how do you know Cavitus kidnapped the crew?

(Kevin presses a few buttons, and a hologram of Zidgel appears a la Star Wars.)

Zidgel: (hologram) Save us, cadets. (3x)

(Cavitus suddenly appears.)

Cavitus: (hologram) Save us, cadets, save us, cadets. (evil laughter) I'll save you, and your little dog too! (evil laughter)

Kevin: You have a dog?

Jason: Hey, can you get us to the Comet Lounge?

Michelle: You want a snack at a time like this?

Jason: No, for Sol. We need a wise man to help us.

(Kevin jumps into the driver seat.)

Kevin: Vroom! Vroom!

Michelle: You can fly this thing, right?

Kevin: (shakes head)

(Kevin hits the accelerator and drives the ship rather recklessly. Jason and Michelle are flung to the left side. A menu flies into their faces.)

Michelle: Look, a Comet Lounge takeout menu! There's a map on the back. Follow this!

(The Rockhopper flies recklessly past several meteors.)

Jason: Woah! Slow down! Watch that meteor!

Michelle: Don't go so fast!

Jason: Look out!

Michelle: (screams)

(Segue to a prison guarded by yellow and green worms. This prison is where the rest of the crew is held.)

Midgel: I can't believe Cavitus captured us.

Fidgel: Well, I can't believe we fell for the old "Watch out, there's a monster behind you" trick!

Zidgel: I can't believe the pillows in this place! Cavitus, hello?

Cavitus: Quiet! May I remind you that you are not guests, but prisoners?!

Fidgel: Nobody asked you to kidnap us. What are we doing here, anyway?

Cavitus: Besides driving me crazy, when your large compatriot comes to save you, I'm going to steal the galeezel!

(The robot head opens.)

Bert: And make myself big!

Zidgel, Midgel, and Fidgel: (laugh)

Bert: What? What's so funny? It could happen.

Midgel: You think Kevin's gonna figure out where we are? He's a sweet bloke, but he can barely tie his shoes.

Cavitus: I, in my evil brilliance, took care of that. (evil laughter)

(Segue to the Comet Lounge. While Kevin has a sandwich, Jason and Michelle talk to Sol about their map.)

Michelle: Kevin found this map in his peanut butter sandwich. See? There's an X where Cavitus took them. I think Fidgel drew it as a clue.

Jason: Actually, I figured that part. But we need you to come help us, Sol.

Sol: Uh...I don't know. I got my Lounge, and, uh, it's bowling night.

Jason: If you don't come, all I've got is Kevin.

(Kevin chews loudly.)

Sol: But you have each other. You're a team, right?

Michelle: I'm not on his team.

Jason: And I wouldn't be on yours, even if you asked me.

Sol: Now, kids, that's no way to treat each other. If you're gonna get through this, you've got to work together. (beat) I'll go, I'll go. You two will never accomplish anything if you can't get along.

(Segue to the ship flying through a school of giant space fish.)

Sol: We're in an unusual part of space known as the Galax-sea.

Jason: The Galax-sea, I get it! It's like an ocean in space. Neat! Have you been here before, Sol?

Sol: Uh, no, I just heard about it from captains who come to the Lounge.

Michelle: Where exactly in space have you been, Sol?

Sol: Oh, nowhere.

(Both kids realize Sol might not be much help.)

Michelle: Good call, Jason, we're being led by a guy with less experience than we have.

Jason: Like you had a better idea.

Sol: How can you help the rest of the crew if you can't even get along like partners?

(The ship shakes, rattles and rolls as Kevin flies it recklessly through more meteors.)

Jason: Kevin, fly straight!

Kevin: Okie dokie!

(He steers with his feet.)

Sol: Now, if we plot a course straight between this star and that small planet, we should get to the X.

Michelle: Past that whirly shape there?

(They spot a vortex sucking the fish down.)

Sol: Hey, you know that is? It's a jelly wormhole!

(We're shown red and orange gummy worms running from the space fish as they try to eat them.)

Sol: Incredibly rare! I've read all about them.

(Michelle pulls up a pair of binoculars. As she looks, a few items fly through the vortex.)

Michelle: I can see through it! Just like a window. And look what's on the other side! Isn't that Zidgel's hair gel? And that's Fidgel's scanner!

Kevin: And Midgel's lucky wrench!

Michelle: Cavitus must be holding them in there! We have to dive through that wormhole and save our crew!

Sol: Hold your seahorses. Ships that go through wormholes are known to disappear without a trace!

Michelle: Sounds like a shortcut. Let's motor, Kevin! Take the bughole thingie.

Sol: Michelle, I told you. Ships go in and don't come back. We should go around.

Michelle: Come on, Jason! You're with me, right? We go through the wormhole.

Jason: No, I'm with Sol.

Michelle: What about that working together stuff?

Jason: I'm working with Sol, Michelle. And you're not much help.

Sol: Working together is give-and-take. Now most importantly, you two really need to agree on the best way to do this and help each other if you want this to work.

Jason: Well, I'm with you. You're out-voted, two to one.

Michelle: What about Kevin?

Kevin: Eenie, meenie, miny, moe.

Michelle: (groans)

(Segue to the prison as the crew yells at the guards as Zidgel holds a metal cup that he scrapes across the cell door.)

Zidgel, Midgel, and Fidgel: We've had enough! We've had enough! We've had enough!

Cavitus: Now what?! More complaints?!

(Zidgel presents a heart-shaped pillow.)

Zidgel: This pillow's way too soft. It's playing havoc with my back.

Cavitus: Oh, what do you want, room service?

Zidgel: (nods head)

Cavitus: You are prisoners! This is a dungeon!

Zidgel: Plus, I need a comb, my hair gel back, and a change of socks...argyle. (He tosses the sock, which lands on Fidgel.)

Midgel: Do you have any other magazines? I've read all these.

Fidgel: I'd like the Sunday Times crossword puzzle.

Cavitus: No! Absolutely not!

Zidgel, Midgel, and Fidgel: We've had enough! We've had enough! We've had enough!

Cavitus: Fine! Fine! Stop it! I'll get your comb and crossword!

Zidgel: And?

Cavitus: And your pillow!

Bert: Of all the penguins in the universe, I have to kidnap high maintenance ones.

(Segue back to the ship as Michelle mopes about the problem.)

Michelle: Work together. What a traitor, agreeing with Sol instead of me? Well, I'm not taking this lying down.

(Cut to Kevin as he sleeps while at the wheel. Michelle gets in the seat.)

Michelle: I can't just watch our chance float by, waiting to be a team.

(Michelle turns the ship around. But because she doesn't know how to drive, the ship loses control.)

Michelle: Uh-oh.

Jason: What's happening?!

(Because the ship is shaking, the galeezel falls onto the floor, causing the metric matter disperser to pop out. Kevin picks it up.)

Michelle: I reset the ship's course! We're being sucked right into the jelly wormhole!

Jason and Sol: Oh no! Michelle!

(Sure enough, the ship goes down the wormhole.)

Jason: Remind me to yell at you when I stop screaming!

Michelle: If you'd help me when I asked, this never would have happened!

Jason: I was trying to help, by going around!

Sol: Could you two figure this out later, if there is a later?!

(Michelle is flung out of the driver's seat. Suddenly, the ship stops spinning out of control.)

Michelle: Good driving, Kevin. You must be getting the hang of this.

Jason: Uh-oh, we're not out of trouble yet. In fact, I'd say we're on the hook more than ever!

(The Rockhopper has been caught on a fishhook by Cavitus' ship. The crane swings the ship around.)

Cavitus: (evil laughter) What a catch. Put them with the others!

(The worm guards approach the captured ship.)

Jason: What do you want with us?!

(Segue to the prison cell as Zidgel plays the harmonica. Fidgel tries opening the cell door with a lockpick, but it's quite difficult.)

Fidgel: I'm not sure I can get this. It's complicated.

(Midgel pulls a hairpin out of Zidgel's hair. Fortunately, it works. They all get out, but are put back in when the rest of their friends are put in.)

Midgel: We--we were just stepping out for those magazines, mates.

(The worm guard takes the hairpin.)

Jason: We really blew it.

Zidgel: Aw, don't say that. Did you happen to bring any argyle socks?

Jason: No.

Zidgel: You're right, you really blew it.

Jason: Thanks for nothing.

Michelle: At least I was trying to help.

Jason: But instead of going around the wormhole and sneaking up on Cavitus, we got sucked into his trap.

Sol: Now, calm down there, kids. Part of working together means no blaming. Now let's work together to figure out a solution to this problem. (sighs) I gave up bowling night for this.

Zidgel: You think that's bad, wait til you try these pillows.

Fidgel: We have a much bigger problem, old boy.

Zidgel: Bigger than squishy pillows?

Fidgel: Bert is going to get his hands on the galeezel. He's going to make himself huge.

(Segue to Cavitus and his worm guards looking for said device.)

Cavitus: Find the galeezel, oh slimy ones!

Jelly Worm #1: Right! Uh, what's it look like?

Cavitus: Oh, must I do everything?! It looks like a galeezel! Everybody knows that!

Jelly Worm #2: Why don't you help us look? After all, two are better than one. Hey!

(Cavitus suddenly sees the galeezel.)

Cavitus: (gasps) The galeezel! Nothing can stop me now! (evil laughter)

(In the prison, Kevin plays with the metric matter disperser. Fidgel grabs it.)

Fidgel: Kevin, where did you get this?

Kevin: Uh, it broke off. Am I in trouble?

Fidgel: Whooppee! Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful!

Midgel: Really, Fidgel, I like dancing as much as the next bloke, but now's hardly the time.

Fidgel: This is the metric magnetic matter disperser, without it, the galeezel is--

Jason, Michelle, Sol, Zidgel, Midgel, Kevin: Useless!

(They hear Cavitus' footsteps. Worried he'll ask them for it, they try to hide it.)

Cavitus: Where's the metric magnetic matter disperser?

Midgel: Let us go, maybe we can find it.

(Cavitius grunts in frustration. Fade to the two ships and cut back to the dungeon as everyone still tries thinking of how to get out. Zidgel tries expanding his pillow, but it deflates like a ball. Sol starts to worry.)

Sol: Uh, guys, aren't you gonna hatch a clever plan to break us out?

Michelle: They might not, but I will. 

(Fortunately, Michelle can slip past the bars.)

Michelle: This cell was built to hold penguins, not kids.

Zidgel: Oh fine, you get out, but what about us? Some plan.

Michelle: I'll get the key from that worm guard, then I'll come back for you.

Sol: I hear that two are better than one, you know.

(Jason gets out of the cell too.)

Jason: Wait a second, you can't do that by yourself.

(Jason and Michelle go through the hall.)

Jason: I'll sneak up behind him, when I give the signal, make some noise. When he's distracted, I'll grab the key.

Michelle: You're supposed to help me, not boss me around. You'll distract him, and I'll grab the key.

Jason: Fine, but we have to find him first.

(They bump into the guards.)

Jason: Found him.

(Segue to Cavitus in his ship's bridge.)

Cavitus: Ah, there's nothing like a little bad behavior to put the wind back in my sails.

(The worm guards and the kids enter the bridge.)

Jelly Worm #2: We caught them trying to escape.

Cavitus: Ha! These two? Escape?! Never! All they do is bicker and fuss!

Michelle: Bicker?

Jason: Fuss?

Cavitus: Absolutely, that's why I always win. Because you two don't know how to get along. You should have helped your sister, kid. Now you've made a mess of things.

Michelle: Leave him alone! He was trying to help us avoid that wormhole! I was working by myself and got us into this mess. I'm sorry, Jason. I should have known that you were trying to help me. Instead, I got us in a real jam.

Jason: That's okay, sis. I should have tried harder to help you, too.

Cavitus: Oh, boo-hoo, if I had worked together with my friends, I wouldn't be where I am today. But maybe then again, I might have some friends if I did. Take them below! Nobody's going anywhere until I get that disperser. Oh, uh, and give these argyle socks to Zidgel. I can't take any more of his incessant whining.

(The worm guard looks at the socks and the galeezel and seems to get some idea. The guards lead the kids back to the cell.)

Fidgel: Oh, dear. I see Michelle's plan didn't work.

(The worm guards block the cell door. It turns out they both had a change of heart.)

Jelly Worm #2: If we help you, will you help us get rid of Cavitus?

Jason: What?

Jelly Worm #2: We're on your side. Cavitus is no friend of ours.

(Jason unlocks the cell door, freeing everyone.)

Jason: Then we all had better work together.

Midgel: How do we get out of here without Cavitus seeing us?

Fidgel: (gasps) I say! There's the Rockhopper!

Michelle: I've got another idea!

Fidgel: No offense, dear, but--

Midgel: Last time you had an idea, well, you, uh--

Zidgel: Nearly destroyed the ship and got everyone sucked down a wormhole instead of going around it!

Jason: I say we should listen to her. Working together is give-and-take. She made a mistake, but we should still listen to her and see what she has to say. After all, we're a team, and if one of us falls, the other must raise his partner up. Who's with us?

(They all agree to work together as they hold hands.)

Jason: What's your plan?

(Segue to the worms using themselves as a rope for the crew to get out of the cell and back onto their ship. Cut to Cavitus as he hears the alarm beeping.)

Cavitus: Huh?

(He sees his enemies escaping.)

Cavitus: The prisoners are escaping! Get them, you slimy worms! Worms? Oh, you just can't get reliable help these days. (to his minions) Well? After them! They still have the disperser!

(Soon, everyone is back on the Rockhopper, except Michelle.)

Rockhopper crew: Michelle!

Michelle: No offense, but this is icky.

(Michelle slides down the worms, but lands on the side of the ship, not inside it. Jason reaches out to save his sister from floating away into space.)

Jason: Michelle!

(Fidgel helps Jason to save Michelle.)

Michelle: Thanks, bro.

(Jason pulls Michelle out of trouble. The worms then free the ship from the hook with their spears.)

Zidgel: Midgel, get us out of here!

Fidgel: Be good enough to hand me the metric magnetic matter disperser, will you?

(Kevin hands back said device. Suddenly, the ship swings back and fourth again thanks to Cavitus.)

Sol: What's going on?

Cavitus: I'm going to spin you like a top and hurl you into space! (evil laughter)

Jelly Worm #2: Surrender, Cavitus, before it's too late!

Cavitus: Surrender? I'm winning here, you silly worm! And when I'm done with them, I'll deal with you!

(He spins the ship around like an airplane toy hanging from the ceiling.)

Sol: I think I'm gonna be ill!

(Jelly Wor, #2 sticks his spear in the line, stopping the ship from spinning uncontrollably. Cavitus moves the controls, but nothing happens. Meanwhile, Fidgel tries putting the disperser back in the galeezel.)

Michelle: Hurry, Fidgel!

Fidgel: One more second. Got it!

(Fidgel fires. And thanks to that, the worm guard turns giant.)

Cavitus: Ahhhh!!! A giant jelly worm!

Bert: (screams)

Jelly Worm #2: Silly slimy worms, are we? We'll see about that, Cavitus!

(The worm swallows the ship, allowing our heroes to escape.)

Bert: I hate those penguins!

Zidgel: Mission accomplished! Midgel, take us home!

Kevin: Oh, I can do it! Vroom! Vroom!

(Once again, when Kevin is at the wheel, he drives recklessly. Segue back to Grandmum's house as Jason and Michelle try looking for their belongings.)

Grandmum: Pie's almost done, pickle. Want to come help me take it out of the oven?

Michelle: No thanks, I can't rest until I find Miss Pretty Pretty, and Jason's baseball glove.

Grandmum: Oh, they'll show up.

Michelle: Jason, I thought we were doing this together.

Jason: Now, if I were Miss Pretty Pretty, where would I run off to?

Michelle: Is this some kind of game? Because it's not very funn--(Jason pulls out Michelle's doll and hands it back to her.) My hero! My great brother!

Jason: Don't go all mushy on me, okay?

Michelle: Where did you find her?

Jason: I was just thinking about poor Harold and how he could use a friend. Then when I went over to look at him, I saw your doll, right there on the bookshelf.

Michelle: That's right, I left her there when I was reading. Oh, thank you, Jason!

Grandmum: Anyone for fresh kidney radish rhubarb pie?

Jason: Uh, thanks anyway, Grandmum, but we, uh--

Michelle: Have to go outside and look for Jason's baseball glove. (beat) Both of us!

(Fade to later that night as Jason and Michelle pray before bed.)

Michelle: And thank you for a great brother who's more than a brother. He raises me up when I fall, and works with me like a real partner.

Jason: And thank you for my twin sister, who's always there to give me a hand when I need it.

(cut to outside the house)

Both: (O.S) Amen.

Jason: (O.S) Hey, Michelle, you think Grandmum will let us get another fish?

Michelle: (O.S) I'm sure she would if you had a good reason.

Jason: (O.S) Of course I do. Two are better than one.

Both: (O.S) (laugh)

(End of transcript.)