Big Idea Wiki

This is the transcript for Cool as a Cucumber.


(Scene opens as the camera zooms in on Bob and Larry's home. Larry is looking in an empty balloon box.)

Larry: Still empty.

(Bob comes up to Larry while carrying a pile of socks.)

Bob: Yes, Larry, we're still out of balloons. It's the same as it was when you checked yesterday.

Larry: Aw, peaches!

Bob: You'll just have to go to Pa Grape's and buy some more.

Larry: Aw, I gotta walk all the way to the floor of the kitchen?

Bob: Not walk, run. Pa Grape's store closes in exactly three and a half minutes.

(Camera zooms in on the clock to show that it is now three minutes to five. Larry shrieks as he quickly runs out the door. Bob goes to organize his socks, when something moves past him from behind, which catches his attention. Bob then looks around as some chittering sounds are heard. Scene switches to Junior and Laura, who are preparing to fly their kite.)

Junior: If we do it just right, we should be able to catch the breeze from the ceiling fan.

(Scene switches to the ceiling fan, which is turning.)

Junior: Okay, Laura? Launch!

Laura: Launching!

(Laura lets the kite go as it flies into the air right in front of the ceiling fan.)

Junior: Nice job, Laura.

Laura: Wow! We're actually making something fly. I feel empowered.

(The kite is suddenly hit by one of the ceiling fan's turning blades, which causes the kite to fall down and lands on the table, which Junior and Laura are shocked to see.)

Laura: (sadly) Now I feel un-empowered.

Junior: Rats!

(Laura comes by from around the corner, as Junior and Laura spot him coming by.)

Laura: Larry, Larry, help! Our kite got stuck. Can you help?

Larry: Help? Now? But I- No, forget those old balloons. Friends are more important.

Junior: You're the coolest friend ever.

Laura: I'm all empowered again.

(Larry quickly jumps forward towards the table, before climbing up onto one of the table chairs.)

Larry: I'm a good climber-er.

(Larry then jumps off the side of the chair before landing on the table in front of the fallen kite.)

Larry: Still a good climber-er.

(Larry picks up the kite before using it as a hang-glider as he glides back down to the ground again, landing in front of Junior and Laura.)

Larry: Ha! There you go. Now I gotta go.

(Larry leaves after that.)

Laura: Thanks, Larry! He's one cool cucumber!

Junior: Yep, because he's super-kind and mega-helpful.

(Scene switches to back at Bob and Larry's home, where Bob now has his socks lined up in pairs in a row, but has one extra sock left.)

Bob: Oh, no. There's always one extra sock. It's an outcast. It doesn't fit in with anyone. Now, where did it's match... (a Dust Bunny hops by while carrying the missing sock) go?

(Bob becomes suspicious before gaining possession of a nearby broom.)

Bob: Aha.

(Scene switches to where a coin is seen being flipped up and down in the air, before it is shown that Jimmy is the one who is flipping the coin, as he and Jerry just stand still doing nothing. Larry passes by them.)

Larry: Hey, Jimmy and Jerry.

(Scene switches to Pa Grape, who is about to lock up the store for the night.)

Pa Grape: Good night, store. Whoa! Hello, Larry. I was just about to... (Larry quickly rushes into the store) close up.

(Larry comes back out while carrying three boxes of balloons and gives the money to Pa Grape.)

Larry: Thanks, Pa Grape. See you tomorrow.

Pa Grape: Uh-huh.

(Larry passes by Jimmy and Jerry once again, but stops when he sees them not doing anything.)

Larry: Are you guys sick or something?

Jimmy: Ha. Wouldn't you like to know?

Larry: Why, yes, I would, thank you.

Jimmy: I bet you would.

Larry: I very much would, yes, because then I could make you soup and a toasted cheese sandwich to help you feel better.

(Jimmy and Jerry don't respond.)

Larry: Well?

Jimmy: Look, we decided to be cool today, and you just don't fit in.

Jerry: Yeah, fit in... is not you.

Larry: And it's good to fit in?

Jimmy: What else is there but fitting in?

Larry: Being good, looking both ways before crossing the street, drinking lots of water.

Jimmy: Not so much. If you're in with us, then you'll never be alone when you lean against a wall, flip a coin, and look like you don't care.

Larry: Well, I'd like to fit in, if I could. Is there anything I could do to fit in?

Jimmy: Ha! You're not ready to be cool.

Jerry: Doing it wrong.

Larry: Gosh, sorry, fellas.

(Larry sadly leaves after that, before the scene switches to where he is passing by the home of Junior Asparagus.)

Larry: There's just gotta be a way for me to be cool somehow. I don't want to be left out of Jimmy and Jerry's cool group.

(Larry looks to see Captain Mike working on the car. Captain Mike then comes out from under the car.)

Captain Mike: Oh, hello there, Larry. Don't you look happy.

(Scene switches to show that it looks like that Larry is smiling, before the camera turns right-side up to show that Larry is actually frowning.)

Captain Mike: Whoops, it was me who was upside-down. Oh, you look sad.

Larry: Yeah, I guess I am a little down. I'm having a hard time fitting in. Can you help me?

Captain Mike: A lot of people think that fitting in means wearing the right clothes or having the right stuff.

Larry: Got it. Thanks, Captain Mike.

(Larry leaves, just as Captain Mike continues to explain.)

Captain Mike: But that's not it at all. No, sir. In fact, I've gotta tell you, I'm not big on fitting in. A person should just be kind and considerate first, and fitting in will follow, you know what I'm saying?

(Captain Mike looks to see that Larry is gone.)

Captain Mike: Larry?

(Scene switches to back at home where Bob is trying to get at the Dust Bunny who is hiding in the tunnel.)

Bob: Come out and show yourself!

(The doorbell rings, surprising Bob as he goes to answer it. Bob looks to see that Petunia is at the door.)

Bob: Oh. Hey.

Petunia: Hi, Bob. I wondering if I could borrow a cup of marshmall-

(The Dust Bunny is sitting on Petunia's head as Bob takes the broom and starts to hop towards Petunia to get at the Dust Bunny that is sitting on her head.)

Petunia: Bob? Are you okay?

(Bob then starts whacking at the Dust Bunny.)

Petunia: Bob! I never!

Bob: (yelling)

(Scene switches to Larry hopping through town, before coming upon Mr. Lunt who is cleaning his monster truck.)

Mr. Lunt: Why, it's Larry. But you don't look so happy. Is there some way Mr. Lunt can help you?

Larry: Not unless you have the secret to fitting in tucked away under your hat.

Mr. Lunt: Larry, what if I told you I had, under this very hat, the secret to fitting in?

Larry: What? No!

(Mr. Lunt removes his hat to show that he is wearing a pair of shades underneath his hat.)

Mr. Lunt: Ha ha ha ha!

Larry: Those... I have to have those!

Mr. Lunt: An excellent choice.

Larry: How much are they?

Mr. Lunt: They're exactly however much you have on you.

Larry: I have nothing.

Mr. Lunt: Rats. Here you go. (gives the shades to Larry)

(Scene switches to Jimmy and Jerry, who are still being cool, before becoming surprised when they see Larry now wearing the shades.)

Jimmy: Whoa! Cool!

(Larry then comes up to the awestruck Jimmy and Jerry.)

Larry: Jimmy, Jerry.

Jimmy: Oh, hey, Larry. Anything we can do for you, now that you're cool?

Larry: Yeah. Step aside... and watch this. (singing) I'll be a cool cucumber

A sunglass-wearing dude

Too cool for the room

With a rock star attitude

And everyone will love me

And the future will be bright

'Cause this cool cucumber

Wears his shades at night

I'll be a cool cucumber

Chorus: (singing) He'll be a cool cucumber

Larry: (singing) When the sun goes down

Chorus: (singing) He's wearing his shades

Larry: (singing) I'll be a cool cucumber

Chorus: (singing) He'll be a cool cucumber

Larry: (singing) 'Cause I'll be walkin' around

And around and around

With my sunglasses on

I'll be the coolest of all

Even when I can't see

And I walk into walls

I'll be a cool cucumber

Chorus: (singing) Even in a hot summer

Larry: (singing) Wearing my dark shades at night

(The song ends as Jimmy and Jerry cheer for Larry. Larry, Jimmy, and Jerry then enter Pa Grape's Store after that.)

Larry: It's cool to be cool.

Jimmy: You're the coolest of the cool.

Jerry: Cool, cool, cool.

Pa Grape: How many times can you use the word "cool" in one conversation?

Larry: As many as is cool.

Pa Grape: (groans)

(Scene switches to back at Bob and Larry's home, as Bob is vacuuming the floor, before looking over to the side.)

Bob: Larry, are you gonna help at all?

(Scene switches to show Larry just leaning against the wall to the side while still wearing his shades.)

Bob: Larry? This place is so dirty, it's attracting Dust Bunnies.

Larry: Oh, hey, Bob. I didn't see you there. What's going on?

Bob: What's going on? It's our cleaning day, that's what's going on. I need you to help me clean.

Larry: Hmm. Help, yeah. That's what you're all about, Bob, but maybe you just don't fit in with this cool cucumber.

Bob: Uh, are you sick or something? And why are you wearing your sunglasses inside?

Larry: You wouldn't understand. Look, I'm gonna bounce, dude. Gotta go fit in over by the front door.

(Larry starts to leave.)

Bob: Aren't you gonna help me clean it up?

Larry: Hmm, not so much. Check you later- Bob, was it?

Bob: You know my name!

Larry: Whatevs. See ya late-o, tomato.

(Larry leaves, while Bob can only watch on angrily. The Dust Bunny then appears from behind Bob and takes a lone sock which makes Bob even more angrier. Scene switches to the front of Pa Grape's Store, as Petunia comes out while carrying two sacks of groceries, but ends up dropping one sack.)

Petunia: No! Ohh!

(Larry comes by, followed by Jimmy and Jerry, who are also wearing their own pairs of shades.)

Petunia: Ahem. Larry? Um, can I ask for your help?

(Larry is about to accept, before turning his gaze to Jimmy and Jerry, who shake their heads no. Larry then faces Petunia again.)

Larry: You could ask, but it won't do you any good, PR.

Petunia: (surprised) Why, Larry Cucumber, this is not like you at all.

Larry: Get used to the new Larry, 'cause I'm here to stay.

(Larry, Jimmy, and Jerry then start to leave.)

Petunia: The new Larry stinks!

(Scene switches to back at Bob and Larry's home, where the entire place is now a mess with socks all over the place and the furniture overturned. The Dust Bunny runs by as Bob chases after it with the broom.)

Bob: Dust Bunny!

(Bob looks around before seeing the Dust Bunny sitting on top of the TV as he starts to stalk it.)

Bob: Oh, I have you now! Waah-aah!

(Bob swings his broom but the Dust Bunny hops away as Bob ends up hitting the TV instead. The Dust Bunny then runs off once again, as Bob throws his broom to the ground in frustration.)

Bob: Aah! I surrender! You win, Dust Bunny.

(Bob then lays on the floor on his back.)

Bob: I don't even wear socks.

(Scene switches to the ball park, where Junior and Laura are practicing batting and hitting.)

Laura: Okay, pitch it in here. Give me your best.

Junior: All right, this is my super-charged speed-curve knuckleball.

Laura: I'm ready!

(Junior throws the ball at Laura, who hits the ball, sending it sailing across the air as it bounces off the wall, soars over the couch, and lands on the roof of Ichabeezer's house before falling off and landing in the front yard. Thunder crashes as Junior and Laura approach Ichabeezer's house worriedly.)

Junior: (gasps) Ichabeezer's place!

Laura: Rats. Oh, hey, it's Larry.

(Junior and Laura look to see Larry, Jimmy, and Jerry coming by.)

Junior: Can you help us get our ball out from Ichabeezer's front yard?

(The trio then stop afterwards.)

Jimmy: I didn't hear Junior ask for help. Did you, Jerry?

Jerry: I heard nothing. Larry?

(Larry looks hesitantly at Junior and Laura.)

Larry: Sorry, kids, you must be thinking of the old Larry. I don't do that kind of stuff anymore.

(Larry, Jimmy, and Jerry start to leave, as Laura becomes upset.)

Laura: Larry, you're so mean now. You used to be kind and always had time for us.

Larry: Used to be kind?

Junior: But now you're not so fun to be around.

Jimmy: That's right. We're not kind anymore because being kind shows vulnerability, and vulnerability means we could get hurt.

Larry: But it's not cool to act cool if being cool means acting like this.

Jerry: No being vulnerable.

Larry: But Laura and Junior are my friends. I don't want to lose my friends.

(Larry starts to take off his shades, which Jimmy and Jerry are shocked to see.)

Jimmy: He's not going to...

(Larry has now taken off his shades.)

Jimmy: (shocked) He's so uncool again!

Larry: That's right! I'm Larry the Cucumber, and I'm uncool!

(Larry then throws his shades off to the side.)

Jimmy and Jerry: (slow-motion) No-o-o-o-o!

(After throwing away the shades, Larry climbs up the front gate of Ichabeezer's house, and enters the yard, while Jimmy and Jerry can only watch on in shock.)

Jerry: Meh.

(Larry retrieves the ball and climbs up the front gate again, before landing in front of Junior and Laura who are happy.)

Junior: Thanks, Larry.

Larry: Can you forgive me for being so mean lately?

Laura: Of course. Now you sound like the old Larry again.

Junior: He's uncool, and we like him that way.

Jimmy and Jerry: Huh?

(Jimmy and Jerry look at each other, realizing that Larry is better liked when he's not cool, so they also take off their shades as well, and join Larry, Junior, and Laura in playing a game of ball. The camera pans down to the pairs of shades that were once worn by Jimmy and Jerry. Scene switches to back at home, where Larry is now vacuuming the floor and stacking up Bob's socks into a tower. Bob then enters afterwards.)

Larry: Ta-da! I cleaned the place from top to bottom, and I took all your socks and made a sock tower. You had one left over, though.

Bob: I thought I didn't fit in with you anymore.

Larry: I'm not so concerned with fitting in anymore, Bob. I'm back. It's me, good old Larry.

(Larry accidentally knocks off the sock tower with his broom, as one sock lands on his head. Bob spits out a sock that landed in his mouth.)

Bob: Good old Larry.

(The Dust Bunny hops up to Bob and spits out the sock that it stole.)

Bob: Why, thank you.

(The screen irises out, ending the episode.)

(End of Transcript)