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This is the transcript for Chef Larry.


(Scene opens to a candelabra set on a table in the living room of Bob and Larry's house while Italian-sounding music starts playing, as Bob comes up to the table.)

Bob: Wow, what's all this?

(Larry comes out from the kitchen while wearing a chef's hat and carrying a bowl.)

Larry: (fake Italian accent) Food is a-coming for-a Bobby! Chef-a Larry's making a big-a feast!

Bob: You bought a chef hat?

Larry: Yep! Now I can cook delicioso!

(Larry is stirring the contents of the bowl then holds it out for Bob to smell. When Bob smells it, the smell is so terrible that it is too much for Bob to bear.)

Bob: (exclaims in disgust) It doesn't smell very amazing. What's in it?

Larry: Nuh-uh-uh! My recipes are so secret even I don't know the ingredients!

(Larry puts the bowl on the table and goes back into the kitchen, while Bob approaches the table.)

Bob: This is too awful to serve. I'll fix it before everyone-

Jimmy: Coming through!

(Jimmy, Jerry, Madame Blueberry, and Bacon Bill run past Bob, which knocks Bob around a little bit.)

Bob: -gets here.

Jimmy: I'm gonna sit there!

Bacon Bill: I'm ready to get my grub on!

Madame Blueberry: What an exquisite presentation!

Jimmy: Less talk, more eat!

(Bob approaches the kitchen while carrying the bowl that Larry set out.)

Bob: Eh, first course will be right out!

(Bob enters the kitchen, just as Larry comes out while carrying a covered tray.)

Larry: Bon appe-treat, everybody!

(Bob enters the kitchen and puts the bowl on the counter.)

Bob: A few spices should fix this!

(Bob then puts a few spices into the bowl and takes a small taste, just as Larry's voice is heard.)

Larry: (O.S) Hey, where's my soup?

(Bob quickly rushes out from the kitchen while carrying the bowl.)

Bob: Soup's on!

(Larry takes the bowl back from Bob.)

Larry: Larry's yummy soup-a-dupa soup-a-licious soup!

(Larry serves the soup to Madame Blueberry, who takes a taste of the soup, while Bob takes the covered tray and sneaks off to the kitchen.)

Madame Blueberry: Why, it is soup-a-dupa soup-a-licious!

Bacon Bill: (laughing) It's fun to eat and fun to say!

(Bob sneaks into the kitchen again as Larry comes out while carrying another plate, before coming back out again after apparently fixing what is under the covered tray. Bob then goes back into the kitchen while carrying the plate then comes back out again after fixing the dish as well. Larry comes out from the kitchen again while carrying a bowl and sets it on the table next to Bacon Bill. When Bacon Bill isn't looking, Bob takes the bowl, and when Bacon Bill looks again, he becomes surprised and confused, while Bob brings it back into the kitchen. Larry then enters the kitchen again and catches up to Bob.)

Larry: Bob? What are you doing to my food?

Bob: Fixing it. I don't think you realize how bad it is.

(Bob and Larry peek out from the kitchen.)

Jimmy: This is so good, my taste buds just became my taste best friends!

Madame Blueberry: There are simply no words.

Bacon Bill: Maca-licious taste-a-riffic mega-wacky yum-a-tomical!

Madame Blueberry: I stand corrected.

Larry: So that everyone loves it?

(Bob can only stare. Scene switches to the guests about to leave.)

Larry: Thank you. Come again!

Madame Blueberry: Larry, you put the 'cool' in 'culinary arts'!

Bacon Bill: Makes me wish I had four stomachs.

Jimmy: I could eat here every day.

Larry: And I could cook for you every day.

(Bob gives Larry a hard nudge.)

Bob: (chuckling) Bye-bye!

(After Jimmy and Jerry have left, Bob and Larry go back inside the house.)

Larry: Man, I love being a chef.

Bob: You aren't a chef, you can't cook.

Larry: I thought a chef's hat was supposed to instantly fill your brain with the ability to cook amazing feasts.

Bob: No, Larry, it's just a puffy hat.

Larry: Well, it should say that on the tag.

(Larry takes off the hat and throws it on the floor.)

Bob: You're lucky I was here to do all the work.

Larry: That's a great idea! I'll wear the poofy hat and be the fancy chef, and you can secretly do all the cooking. Let's go!

(Larry takes the hat back from Bob, much to Bob's surprise.)

Bob: Go? Where are we going?

Larry: I have already booked a whole week of fancy dinners, partner!

Bob: Partners? You know what that means, right? Share the work? Share the credit?

Larry: That's right! Shake on it!

(Bob and Larry literally shake themselves.)

Larry: You do the kitchen stuff, and I'll do the servin' stuff!

Bob: Wait, I'm not sure that's fair.

Larry: Trust me! It's show biz! It's our shtick! I'm the cook who doesn't cook!

(Scene switches to Mayor Archibald's dinner party as music starts playing.)

Larry: (singing) I'm the cook who cannot cook

But that really is okay

I'll just let Bob do all the cookin'

I'm the cook who cannot cook

I'll get the glory anyway

Cuz in my chef's hat

I'm so good lookin'

I don't know a fritter from frittata

Can't a make a pizza, or a pancake

Or tostada

And I'm not ready

To make spaghetti

Can't tell a crepe from an enchilada

So let Bob do the work

Let him sweat and let him strain

And even do the grocery shoppin'

I'm the cook who cannot cook

To keep it straight it's just a pain

Is it "al dente" or "au gratin"?

I'll write a famous cookbook

Just you wait and see

Containing all of Bob's

Greatest recipes

And I'll autograph

Each copy of my book

By the cook who cannot cook


(The song ends as everyone applauds.)

Archibald: Now wasn't that meal Chef Larry made for us exquisite?

Carrot Gentleman: Chef Larry should go down in history as the greatest single chef this town has ever known!

Larry: It was my pleasure! I'll cook you a meal any time! Any time at all!

Bob: (grunting while pulling a wagon full of dishes) Can we go home now?

Carrot Gentleman: We aren't finished heaping praise on the magnificent Chef Larry!

(Mayor Archibald and his guests start throwing flowers at Larry.)

All: Hooray! Yay!

Bob: Oh.

(Bob pulls the wagon of dishes with him and gets in the elevator, which then closes. Scene switches to the kitchen sink at Bob and Larry's house where Bob is glumly washing the dishes.)

Larry: (O.S) Hey, partner! How ya doin'?

Bob: I'm done, Larry. No more dinners, brunches, breakfasts, lunches-

Larry: Desserts?

Bob: No desserts. Nothing!

Larry: Not even bedtime snacks? Doggie treats?

Bob: Nothing! "Share the work, share the credit", remember? I'm doing all the work! You're being a one-man show! If that's what you want, you should do it on your own!

Larry: But how can I be an amazing chef if you don't do all my cooking for me?

(The doorbell rings as Larry goes to answer it, finding a corn woman at the door.)

Corn Woman: I represent the movie star Tom Celeriac who is coming to town to do a stunt show! He will require a master chef to cook his dinner! I was told you were a master chef!

Larry: I, well, no, yes, but... Of course I am!

Corn Woman: Perfect! Meet us tomorrow at this address! Goodbye!

(The corn woman leaves, while Larry closes the door after that.)

Larry: I can do this on my own, no problem. No I can't! Bob! Bob!

(Larry runs upstairs, where Bob is packing a suitcase, just as Larry runs into the room.)

Larry: Bob, why are you packing a suitcase? You live here!

Bob: Silly Pea and I are going to the Pan Flute Players Jamboree Weekend.

Silly Pea: (playing pan flute)

Larry: But, you don't play pan flute.

Bob: Oh, don't I?

(Bob and Silly Pea start playing a duet on the pan flute, before Silly Pea then jumps into Bob's suitcase, which Bob then picks up as he leaves while still playing the pan flute, leaving Larry behind.)

Larry: Well, hat, looks like it's just gonna be you and me.

(Scene switches to a crowd gathering in the town square, as Tom Celeriac's monster truck drives up to them.)

Jimmy: Hey, it's Tom Celeriac, the super-famous guy!

(Tom Celeriac jumps out of the monster truck and flies through the air, before swinging on a lamppost and landing on the ground again.)

Tom Celeriac: Land! I'm here to do some amazing stunts, for all you 'stache-tastic veggies! But first, I eat!

(Camera pans up to one of the buildings, where Larry is nervously getting the table set, just as Tom Celeriac comes up to him.)

Tom Celeriac: Wow, what a set-up. I hope the food tastes good as this looks.

Larry: Mr. Celeriac, prepare your senses for what I call my hip-hop happetizing tongue-teasing appetizer!

(The cover of the tray is lifted, but the contents of the bowl smell terrible.)

Tom Celeriac: (exclaims in disgust) Smells more like fertilizer!

Larry: Ha! Uh, tricked you! Ha, ha! Real food coming up!

(Larry frantically runs back into the kitchen as he puts some sardines in a jar and stirs them up. Larry then serves sardines on a plate to Tom Celeriac, but when he takes a bite, the dish still tastes terrible, as Larry runs back into the kitchen again. Larry then gets out a frying pan and puts a bone in it as he starts cooking the bone. Tom also does not like the taste of this dish.)

Tom Celeriac: Blech! Back, foul entree! Back!

(Larry runs back into the kitchen again as he picks up a can of sardines, a boot, and a lobster, and starts frantically cooking them separately. Cut to a montage of each of Tom Celeriac's disgusted reactions.)

Tom Celeriac: No can eat this!

Larry: (sighs) Where's Bob when I need him?

(Scene switches to outside the House, where by the koi pond, Bob and several other pan flute players are playing their pan flutes. Bob is about to play his pan flute, when Silly Pea jumps out of his suitcase while playing his pan flute.)

Bob: What's that, Silly? The president of the Pan Flute Coalition wants me to cook dinner?

(Bacon Bill shows up.)

Bacon Bill: Bobby-boo! Hey, man, I'm ready to get down on some of that grub-a-dub-dub!

Bob: Bill! I had no idea you were president of the Pan Flute Coalition!

Bacon Bill: I'm pretty, pretty important.

Bob: Well, I'll get right to cooking, Mr. President!

(Scene switches to back with Tom Celeriac.)

Tom Celeriac: No more! No more! It's inedible! (coughs)

Larry: Uh, incredible, you say?

Tom Celeriac: Inedible, not eatable! Me no like!

(Tom Celeriac pushes away the inedible dishes and approaches the crowd.)

Tom Celeriac: Sorry, I'm in no condition to do a stunt show! Tonight's event is cancelled!

All: (gasping)

Tom Celeriac: And you have this fake chef to thank for it!

All: Boo! No fair!

Larry: I need to make a confession. I'm not the great chef I said I was. It was Bob. He did all the great cooking, I just served the food.

Tom Celeriac: You mean to tell me some other guy was secretly cooking for you? Come with me, Cucumber! (puts on his jetpack) We're going to go find this Bob you speak of!

(Tom Celeriac then picks up Larry and starts flying through the House, while Larry is screaming. Scene switches to outside the House, where Bob is serving a meal to Bacon Bill.)

Bob: I present you, dinner!

(Bob lifts up the cover on the tray, revealing a crepe with a strawberry on top.)

Bacon Bill: What's it called?

Bob: A crepe!

Bacon Bill: Oh, come on! Don't ya have a better name for it, like, um, oh-oh, check it out, "Crazy Yummy Crepey Time"?! (guffawing)

Bob: I don't really give my food silly names. That's a Larry thing. I just cook good food.

(Bacon Bill takes a taste of the crepe.)

Bacon Bill: Eh, it's okay, but it lacks Larry's charm. See, if Larry were here, he'd dance on the table, he'd set up candles, play music, and, he'd give this dish a name that is just as delicious as it is like, mmmm, "Soup-a Dupa Soup-a-licious"!

Bob: But, I'm the master chef!

Bacon Bill: You may know how to cook, but you do not know how to serve, my man.

Larry: (O.S) Wahoo!

Tom Celeriac: Gangway!

(Larry and Tom Celeriac suddenly fly in, before picking up Bob and carrying him off. The three then put on helmets before they resume flying again.)

Tom Celeriac: Tomato, this Cucumber owes you an apology.

Larry: I'm sorry I wasn't a good teammate, Bob.

Bob: Thanks, Larry. I-

Both: (screaming)

(Tom Celeriac suddenly starts swooping and swerving out of control while he is carrying Bob and Larry.)

Tom Celeriac: Hold on to your sprouts!

(Tom Celeriac suddenly flies up high into the sky.)

Bob and Larry: (screaming)

Bob: I forgive you! I'm sorry I didn't give you any credit for being such a great server!

Tom Celeriac: It sounds like neither of you respected the other's contribution to the team! And that's where things fell apart!

All: (screaming)

(The three then fall back down again, Bob and Larry landing on the ground again, while Tom Celeriac lands in a nearby bush. Bob and Larry then pick themselves up.)

Both: (laughing)

(Tom Celeriac pops out from the bush.)

Tom Celeriac: If I can get a good meal in me, then we can uncancel that stunt show! You two got this?

Bob and Larry: Let's cook!

(Scene switches to Larry putting on the chef's hat, as does Bob, while the two are now working in the kitchen. Bob takes a bottle and sprinkles it into the bowl that Larry is holding.)

Bob: Now just a pinch of salt! Try it.

(Larry takes a taste of the contents.)

Larry: Wow, it's delicious! Now when we bring this out, dance like this. (grunting)

Bob: (grunting) Let's serve this up!

(Scene switches to Bob and Larry now meeting with Tom Celeriac again.)

Bob: Larry, tell the man what we've cooked him up today!

Larry: I present to you, Bob's masterpiece! Super-Duper-Duper Super-Duper Super-Super Spaghetti!

(Tom takes a taste of the spaghetti while Bob and Larry await his reaction. Tom then finishes after that.)

Tom Celeriac: Great food, great presentation, and unforgettable experience! Let's do some stunts, people!

All: (cheering)

(Tom then climbs up a ladder while Bob and Larry watch, before Tom puts on his jetpack while everyone watches. Tom then flies off the ramp after that.)

Tom: 'Stache-tastic!

Larry: You did it, Bob! You saved the day!

Bob: We did it! We make quite a team!

(The screen irises out on Bob and Larry, ending the episode.)

(End of transcript)