Bob's Vacation/Transcript

This is the transcript for Bob's Vacation.

Transcript

(We fade into the front of Bob's house, as Bob and Larry hop up to it. Larry's dragging a giant sack along with him.)

Larry: C'mon, Bob! Hurry or you'll miss your bus!

Bob: Thanks for watching the house while I'm on vacation, Larry.

Larry: Oh, I'll take care of everything! Watering your plants, doing your laundry here, and-

Bob: Oh-ho-ho! That's not laundry, that's the fan mail you need to answer while I'm gone.

Larry: ...fan mail?

(Larry turns the sack around to reveal tons of letters overflowing.)

Larry: Me? Alone? All of it?!

Bob: You sure you still wanna go through with this?

Larry: Uh...yeah, sure.

(Bob and Larry enter the house.)

Larry: It's just I never did this all alone before.

Bob: Oh, you'll be fine! We've done this together dozens of times. Just keep 'em short and sweet. You'll be done in no time!

Larry: I guess.

(Bob hands Larry a piece of paper, as he goes back and forth grabbing things he'll be taking.)

Bob: Here's my list.

Larry: Your list?

Bob: Raymond likes indirect light and only needs a misting. Everyone else gets a good drenching on odd days.

Larry: Raymond?

Bob: My fern...plant food is in the pantry. Phone numbers are on the list. Oh, I forgot my sunblock! I have sensitive skin.

(The phone rings.)

Bob: (O.S.) Could you get that?

Larry: Okay. (picks up phone) Hello? No, it's me, Larry.

Madame Blueberry: Oh hi, Larry. Where's Bob?

Larry: Vacation. I'm gonna water his plants.

Madame Blueberry: Oui. Raymond is particular about his light, y'know.

Larry: So I hear.

Madame Blueberry: Can you ask Bob if I got any mail this week?

Larry: Actually, you can ask me! I'm gonna answer the mail by myself this time.

Madame Blueberry: Oh, how exciting! You will do a great job, I know. By the way, will you need help with the watering? I can send over my gardener.

(Pan out to reveal a pea gardener with giant pruning shears.)

Larry: Nah, I won't need him. I can handle it just fine.

(Unbeknownst to Larry, Bob is behind him, listening to him talk on the phone. Because he can't hear Madame Blueberry, he thinks Larry is talking about himself, which upsets him.)

Bob: ...he won't need me?

Madame Blueberry: Are you quite certain? Raymond is no ordinary house plant.

Larry: Oh, please! He's not so special. It'll be a cinch!

(Hearing this upsets Bob even more.)

Bob: ..not special?

Larry: Later! (hangs up the phone) Oh, hi Bob! You all set?

Bob: I guess so...

Larry: Well, have a good time!

(Bob's about to head out the door.)

Bob: Yeah...uh, Larry, if you have any questions you can call me on my cell, y'know?

Larry: Aw, you don't want that, vacation and all, I'll have everything under control!

Bob: (whispering to self) I don't believe it. After all this time, you think you know a guy!

Larry: Well, hasta luego...

(Bob slams the door behind him, confusing Larry.)

Larry: ...amigo?

(Bob storms through the door.)

Bob: I'll have you know I am no ordinary tomato!!

(Bob slams the door again.)

Larry: That was weird. Guess he really does need that vacation!

(The mail sack tips over a bit, spilling out letters. We then cut to Bob on his way to the bus stop, angry and upset.)

Bob: Not special? Me? Not special?! Everyone knows I'm special!....why would Larry think I'm not?

(Suddenly, he notices two carrot ladies are running towards him.)

Carrot ladies: There he is! Aaaah! There he is! Oh, I can't wait!!

Bob: Oh, I'll be happy to autograph your-

(Bob takes out a pen, but then notices that the carrot ladies are actually running towards an ice cream stand right next to him.)

Bob: ...ice cream?

Carrot lady #1: I'll have a Fudge Banana Swirl!

Carrot lady #2: Make mine a Pistachio Popper!

Bob: (sighs)

(The first carrot lady walks up to him.)

Carrot lady #1: Excuse me, I hate to be a bother, but-

Bob: (pulling out pen) Oh, it's no bother! I get this all the time.

Carrot lady #2: But do you have change?

Bob: ..wha?

Ice cream vendor (Scallion #1): I'm running a bit low.

Bob: Me too. (sighs) Maybe Larry's right, maybe I'm not so special after all...

(Fade to black. Then, we fade in to Larry responding to a letter.)

Larry: "...and next time, keep it in the fridge instead of under it. Remember, God made you special, and He loves you very much! Your friend, Larry." (puts away the letter, then picks up another one) "Dear Bob and Larry, my dog has....fleas"? Man, I'm never gonna get finished!

(The phone rings, and Larry hops to it and picks it up.)

Larry: Hello?

Jimmy: Hi, Bob!

Larry: (annoyed) No, it's me, Larry.

Jimmy: Oh, I mean hi Larry!

Larry: Oh, hi Jimmy! Whatcha up to?

Jimmy: Well, we were wondering if you could think of something to do. We're getting a little bored, y'know?

(Suddenly, looking at the mail sack, Larry gets an idea.)

Larry: Hey, I have an idea! You wanna come over and help me answer the fan mail?

Jimmy: Can I bring Jerry?

Larry: Sure, bring Jerry! Later.

(As soon as Larry hangs up the phone, the doorbell rings. Shocked about what just happened, Larry opens the door and sees Jimmy.)

Jimmy: Hi!

Larry: Woah, that was quick!

Jimmy: Uh, we brought some friends.

(Several veggies walk in, including Jerry, Scooter, Annie, and Laura.)

Larry: That's okay, uh, the more the merrier. Heh-heh...

Annie: Where's the mail? I like writing letters.

Jimmy: (gasps) I've got an idea! How 'bout some popcorn?

Scooter: Aye, popcorn would make this a real party!

Larry: Um, well that sounds like fun, but c'mon, this isn't my house. I don't think we should.

Scooter: Perhaps he's right.

Jimmy: What were we thinking?

Scooter: Popcorn would spoil our appetites.

Jimmy: We should order pizza!

(Everyone cheers as Scooter goes over to the phone to order.)

Scooter: Hooray! This is great! I love Pizza! I'm gonna need seven larges with extra cheese!

Larry: Hey, that's too many!

Scooter: Then let's invite more people! (Gives the phone to Larry who's shocked)

(Everyone cheers again, leaving Larry too stressed and nervous to talk. We then cut to Bob relaxing by the poolside, still upset.)

Bob: Larry thinks I'm not special. I know I'm not the flashiest tomato, but folks still like me.

(A bartender (Charlie Pincher) walks up to Bob with lemonade and a snow-globe on a tray.)

Charlie: Your lemonade, sir.

Bob: You like me, right?

Charlie: Pardon me?

Bob: Um, I mean, I might be a little high-strung, but I'm basically a likable fellow, aren't I?

Charlie: Have we met, sir?

Bob: You have no idea who I am?

Charlie: Can't say as I do.

Bob: (sighs) Maybe I'm not so special.

Charlie: Now hold on right there, sir! I think you're a wee bit confused. You think you're not special because I don't know ya?

Bob: But I'm Bob, y'know, Bob the Tomato? I'm special!

(Charlie glares at him.)

Bob: (sighs) At least I thought I was.

Charlie: Take a gander here.

(Charlie hands Bob the snow-globe, but quickly holds it back.)

Charlie: It's, um, from the gift shop....$7.95.

Bob: Charge it to my room.

Charlie: You see, we're all kinda like snowflakes.

Bob: I don't follow you.

Charlie: Look closer, lad.

(Charlie shakes the snow-globe, sending hundreds of snowflakes flying inside.)

Bob: Wow!

Charlie: Did you ever see a picture of a snowflake?

Bob: Yeah, they're all different from each other.

Charlie: Millions and millions of 'em, each one different. Ya might say they're special. Now, when they're all laying out on a hillside, it's hard to tell 'em apart. None of 'em stand out, do they?

Bob: Well, no.

Charlie: Does that make them less special?

Bob: No, I guess not.

Charlie: Y'see, God made each one us special, and He loves us very much. I heard that from a very wise tomato. Feeling better?

Bob: (on the verge of tears) Mhm.

Charlie: Learned a lesson?

Bob: (sniffs) Mhm!

Charlie: I think, when you go home, you'll find that your friends have been pining for your return.

Bob: You're right, I'm cutting my vacation short!

(Bob grabs his suitcase and walks off.)

Charlie: There goes a happy tomato. A lousy tipper, but a happy tomato.

(Bob comes back and grabs his lemonade, then walks off again. We then cut back to Bob's house, as several veggies are answering letters and eating pizza, leaving Larry distressed.)

Larry: Oh no!

Madame Blueberry: Oh, look! A fan letter for me! I will answer this one myself.

Larry: Yeah. Oh man, c'mon, guys, I think you should go home now. This isn't my house. Could you use a coaster over there? Madame, the brie cheese is getting all over the thing.

(Madame Blueberry's gardener gets ready to trim Raymond. Eventually, Larry has had enough.)

Larry: Um, everyone! (the music stops) Look, I think it's great that we all got together, but, y'know, we don't really have permission to be having a party here. So, maybe we could just clean up the mess and move all the fun over to my house.

(Everyone cheers as they start packing everything up. Madame Blueberry passes the letters to Scooter, who passes them to Annie, then Laura, who finally puts them back in the mail bag. But as soon as she does, Jean Claude, who was accidentally put in the bag, pops out. As Philippe goes to put all the pizza boxes away, Jimmy secretly takes a slice out of the highest one and he's about to eat it, but Larry looks at him with an angry look. Jimmy gets nervous and hops away, then Raymond opens his shears, about to cut a plant, but Larry's jaw dropped as he sees it, then he shakes his head "no" Raymond nervously hides his shears behind his back. Finally, we cut to Jerry picking up all the drinks)

Larry: Maybe I can get this all cleaned up before Bob-

(Larry opens the door, only to see Bob with his suitcase. Everyone's silent.)

Larry: Uh....surprise?

(Everyone decides to go with that.)

All: Surprise!!

Bob: A party? For me? Oh guys, you don't know what this means to me.

(A pea with several pizza boxes stacked on his head dashes by.)

Bob: So, Larry, do you really think I'm not so special?

Larry: What?

Bob: I heard you on the phone.

Larry: Wha....oh, that! I was talking about your fern!

Bob: What? Raymond? Oh...

Larry: I'd never say you're not special, Bob. You're my best friend!

Bob: Ha, ha, oh never-mind. I'm so embarrassed.

Larry: You're not the only one. Bob, this isn't really what it looks like. I'm sorry, I was trying to work on the letters, but I needed help and then one thing led to another, and before I knew it there was a house full of people and pizza and brie cheese-

Bob: It's okay, Larry. It could've happened to anybody.

Larry: Really?

(Bob starts to nod, but then a large stack of peas and pizza boxes comes tumbling by.)

Bob: Well, no. This could only happen to me.

(Bob's cellphone starts ringing.)

Bob: Oh, that's my cell. (answers) Hello? Oh, hey Larry it's QWERTY! He says he's got a verse for us. "You created the deepest parts of my being. You put me together inside my mothers body. Psalms 139:13".

Larry: See, Bob? God made everyone special!

Bob: And He loves them very much.

(Fade to black.)

(End of transcript)